2014 August

Friday, August 8, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

[FKCC] I don’t know about the FKCC president and the for-profit Board thing, but why are so many employees leaving? The foundation director, the nursing director, the nursing admin asst, the financial aide director, the asst financial aid director, a librarian, the whole criminal justice academy staff, the Marathon director? What’s going on?
Despite the perception that America is a very mobile society where people leave the nest and live their adulthood far from home, surveys reveal otherwise: approximately 40 percent of Americans never move from the place in which they are born.
[“Name that bird”] I see that the Coconut Telegraph panel of experts had three different names for the bird! Finch, Prothonotary Warbler, and American goldfinch.
[Buddy Diving] Way back when I took dive lessons they said one of the basic rules was never dive alone. Since then I have met people who do it all the time. I have done it myself plenty of times. I don’t think they are being reckless, I think they just don’t want any witnesses.
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[Joke Friday] “The ch in Conch is pronounced ‘k’.” the snotty waitress corrected me. I said, “Thanks for the English lesson, bit’k’.”
[Obamacare Cost] I’ll be glad to answer FTR’s question of did my insurance premium go down. Yes it did. My premium went down $80 a month with better////////////////////////coverage. My deductible went up $500 more a year, but in the end it stills saves me $460 a year if I used up all of my deductible. It’s with Aetna — a very solid company. Please don’t try and spin this as terrible because it’s the first time in recent memory my coverage didn’t go up! I earn too much to qualify for a subsidy, but I just did the research and found a better deal.
[Human activity related Global Warming] Is there anything that is not caused by global warming? What’s next? more Jersey girls gaining weight due to global warming? More people drinking in the Keys due to global warming? More stupidity taking place because of global warming? This thing [pictured] has got to be caused by global warming (or heavy drinking).
[Controlled Burn] They did a good job this year in burning the underbrush and sparing most of the trees.
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snowflakes boy
[Rain And More Rain] I wonder what the Keys would be like if all this rain was snow?
[“Brown recluse spider”] Let me make sure I got this right. In order to determine if it is a flesh destroying brown recluse spider, I have to look for a violin on it’s back? Maybe I should just ask it to play a sonata for me and then squash it.
[Right or Wrong] Some people are Lefties who think giving to others is good enough to get religion to work for them. Righties believe buying your way into heaven is the way to do it. Others think none of this matters and you should look out for your own butt and make the best of everything regardless of how you get there. Still, others want it the easy way and will not work at real jobs, but spin or rob their way to riches.

So who is correct? All are! It is a fallacy to think one bunch is right and another side is wrong. All are exactly the same goal-wise, to satisfy their personal desires. Humanity is no different than any other creature on this rock and probably in our universe. We are advancing towards the inevitable self destruction of everything unless we become simple minded pacifists who respect the dirt we walk on and the air we breath or keep inventing the last invention that does us all in. Do we have the intelligence to recognize this? Surely not at the present time, but maybe after the next world disaster or a visit by someone from the next ‘hood. Hopefully the latter. When? is the question

Proud father.
[Unedited] That was a low blow by Gwenn from the Citizen to say that Sloan Bashindky was not a lawyer. Who the hell is she to make a statement like that? Sloan has proven to all why his name was not listed a member of the Alabama Bar. Gwenn you are a low life POS to ask questions like that. Why don’t you ask questions from the other candidates how they made their money? Are you afraid of insulting Cates (and his family) on his drug running? It’s no secret that everyone made their fortunes from drugs in the 70’s. My reletive who has lived in Key West since the 60’s knows who is who. Or who was who. Don’t let Key West stay the same. Key West needs change to be what it used to be. Do you want to bow down to the cruise ship corp, or do you want to return Key West to the PARADISE it once was? Dump the cruise ships, stop developement, get rid of the criminal police department, replace it with a profesional PD, Have a clothing optional beach on the east end of Smathers, leave the homeless alone,(after dark you can’t see them anyway) , dump the park and build afordable housing at the property that was given to Bahama Village. One Human Family???? It’s a joke and everyone knows it. My friends from up north in the states laugh at you. They know better!!!!
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[Obamacare Cost] FTR should get out more. My friend in Key Largo said her rates went down. I forgot by how much, but that’s not my point. Most people I’ve read about have had similar savings. Unfortunately the Keys has just about the highest Obama rates of almost anywhere. I don’t know why. If the opposition would stop hindering the rollout I’m sure our savings will only increase. I believe Social Security took more than a year to get squared away. Give it a chance.
[John Lennon Day] Imagine an international holiday honoring John Lennon. Sign the petition. Give Peace a chance. Thanks. Link
[More bar wisdom] Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, “You can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk butt.”
speedy gonzales
[Speeding Ticket]  I got a speeding ticket on Monday going into KW, coming off the Boca Chica Bridge.  Radar had me cold!  The Sheriff’s Deputy who stopped me couldn’t have been more professional or polite (although he did write me the citation.  Hey, I did the crime, I’ll do the time)  Of course no one wants to get a ticket, but this deputy made the experience as painless as possible and took the extra time and effort to explain all of my options to resolve the citation.  I hope that all the Monroe County Sheriff’s Deputies have this man’s professionalism and courteous demeanor while dealing with the public.
Respectfully submitted, Speedy Gonzalez
[Joke Friday] There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”
The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”

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[Obamacare Cost] How old is FTR? He thinks $400-600 a month for insurance is a lot. Forget about how much less the co-pays are. Name one 60 year old male who doesn’t have high blood pressure, cholesterol or isn’t overweight–all preexisting conditions! I suspect FTR has someone else paying his medical insurance for him to be so out of touch.
[Jesus Saves] I will agree that anyone thinking they saw Jesus Christ on a dog’s butt is silly. But, I also am thinking about the two Christian Missionary health workers who were recently brought back from Africa with the Ebola virus. They went there because their religious beliefs told them to help the unfortunate people there. They knew that they were taking a personal risk in doing so. I wonder when the National Association of Atheist Doctors will do the same?
A good bumper sticker if tailgaters annoy you: “The closer you get—the slower I’ll go”
Kids in kindergarten through fifth grade are invited to join the free, fun-filled Discovery Saturday at the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center (35 East Quay Road, Key West) on Saturday, August 16th from 10:00 am – 11:00 am. Learn about coral reefs by making a coral polyp and putting together a Coral Reef Jigsaw Puzzle. Free admission and free parking. For more information contact Events
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I’m putting out an APB on one stolen Mallory Square Grouper bike. Stolen Thursday afternoon from a yard in the Palm Villa neighborhood on Big Pine. No, the girls don’t go with the bike, I just wanted to get your attention. It would be nice to get the bike back as it came from a good friend who is the originator of the bike. I’m kind of sentimental to this bike. If you know the whereabouts of the bike please call Tim at (305) 395-0057. Thank you,
[“Congress”] Kudos to the poster who posed the question asking just what exactly the US Congress thought it was vacationing from.  I couldn’t have said it better myself.
[Controlled Burn] Kudos to the firefighters on Big Pine’s controlled burn for not burning down the island again.
F16 jet fires
I heard on the news that American fighters have just fired on ISIL fighters in Iraq. Oh, oh!
[“Global warming”] I’ve been conducting sort of an informal survey on the people who believe and not believe in global warming and found that everyone who believes in it were liberals on the political scale. Every one of those who don’t believe in global warming were conservatives who also believed in God (I forgot to ask the liberals if they were believers or not). This is only a simple observation from those I talked to. But I think it’s telling.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
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railroad crossing[Joke Friday] Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.  Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy  intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving  people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.  I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.

Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma

[Too Big To Jail] What an outrage! Bank Of America was found guilty of all charges of causing the economic meltdown back in 2007 in which thousands of people lost their homes and jobs. BoA was fined $17 billion, yet no one from Bank Of America is facing prison time? If this were you or me, would we get off with a fine that’s considered a drop in a bucket for BoA, with no prison time?
jesus-butt00[“Marine threatens Christ butt photo author”] A lot of posters make fun of Jesus Christ knowing that He is God to a lot of other posters, the dog’s butt for instance. If this was directed toward the Muslims I am sure they would be diligently seeking the author of such blasphemy. I can only suppose that the poster of the dog’s butt thinks that all Christians are forgive and forget types [like it says in the Bible] because they think of Jesus as an easy going kind of guy, but that’s not all factual. In fact many believers in Jesus Christ are United States Marines and we all know that they do not take deeply personal things like this lightly. Even Jesus Christ Himself said that when He returns He will be bringing His A game. (Commander Zoom 16:12)

Word to the dog butt posters, please stop making similarities between a dog’s butt and Jesus Christ by using a Photoshopped photo and passing it off as a dog’s rear end. Trust in the fact that not all Christians are meek and mild. Sometimes even they can get all upset and make life altering mistakes that cause all sorts of problems. At least they can ask for and find forgiveness. I can only guess that posters of such filth directed toward somebody’s God believe that there will be no repercussions, but I personally believe along with many Christians that those who posted such stuff will be twisting in the fires of hell for an eternity

Another long winded campaign letter from Sloan. There’s something, first of all, you don’t understand about Facebook. It’s not a place to campaign on someone else’s page. Use your own. Secondly, Sloan. You want my honest opinion, I think you’re a kook delivering just as angry a platform as Margaret. No matter how good your ideas may be they’re delivered along with a platter of shit and negativity. You give Craig no credit for being able to do what you will never do and that’s become Mayor of anything. You are irrelevant. You have become a bad joke of yourself. In 2009, an election I also covered. And gave my opinion on, you got a little over 100 votes. It was embarrassing. In 2014, you’ll be lucky to get that many. Lucky. And now I feel lousy for sinking to your level and giving something for you to write about in your little blog that you write that no one reads. Now leave me and Key West alone with your negativity and go get a real job. ~Mark Ryno
Why do posters think this is a forum to cause social or political change? It may make interesting reading but it has no teeth. Spend your energy writing to our elected officials if you think they are not serving the citizens they represent effectively. Do you think they read the CT? or if they do, do they care what people post? How naive some people are. Start right here Link
mahi roasted pepper cilantro
Happy Friday from Springer’s Bar and Grill.
Today’s special is mahi mahi with roasted pepper sauce and cilantro pesto. It’s a great combination that adds different layers of flavor for a delicious twist on the norm. Come and enjoy.
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s Always Something Special at Springer’s!
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weatherman high
[Rain, rain, go away] It sure is crappy weather for boating. When will it clear up? When I check the weather maps and satellite maps some days they will show it to be clear over the Keys, but there are small thunderheads that don’t show on those maps. Is there a site that can show the small thunderheads, too small to show up on forecaster’s charts and maps? Please don’t send links to weather sites that don’t show small thunderheads in this area. I’ve tried them all over the years.
[“Mold on bar top”] You should see what is out of sight!
[Editor good] After seeing the following on the front page of the Citizen, I think ed does a good job editing. “Before they had ‘gotten’ (no such word) far, however the trio spotted what turned out to be a 17 foot Carolina Skiff doing a ‘serious’ (series) of unusual abrupt figure eights and later circles. Good job Ed.
Karl Marx
is much maligned. Read him and remember that his ideas were just ideas. It was Lenin, Stalin and Mao who perverted his thoughts of Utopia. Link
Having been in some of those quaint historic houses in Key West it is easy to see why house design has evolved into what we have today.
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[Godzilla (1954)
] When scientist saw giant footprints on the beach they knew they were in trouble.

What could be better after working all day, than unwinding with a cold beer, hot doobie and watching the original Godzilla!

What’s with the put down of this Dane person in yesterdays CT? Seems like somebody should get sued over that one!? What is the full story?
[Violence Tip] Aluminum baseball bats are much better than wooden baseball bats because teeth do not stick into them.
carp8[Carp] More than 7,000 invasive carp were removed from the Illinois River this past weekend during the 9th Annual Redneck Fishing Tournament. “Every year I’m amazed at how many people turn out,” said Betty DeFord, who organizes the tournament. “More and more people are being made aware of the problems these fish create.” Four, 2-hour fishing heats spread over Friday and Saturday netted 7,126 fish. The Sushi Slayer team from Washington, Ill. took first place with 531 Asian carp. Schafer Fisheries hauled away the fish to process into fertilizer.

What’s unique about the Redneck Fishing Tournament is no poles are allowed. Participants catch the fish, which can top 20 pounds, with nets as they jump from the river when spooked by the noise of the motors.

Asian carp have taken over stretches of the Mississippi and Illinois Rivers. Their jumping makes water recreation dangerous and they destroy native species’ habitat. This year, the tournament added cooking demonstrations as part of a growing effort to establish a market for the fish that are disgusting looking but tasty if properly prepared. The tournament began out of DeFord’s frustration with her grandchildren being pelted by carp while trying to enjoy the river. The tournament now draws thousands annually to the tiny Mason County community. It attracts participants and media attention from around the world.

“Unfortunately, the carp will be back,” said DeFord. “But so will we.”The 10th Annual Redneck Fishing Tournament is tentatively set for Aug. 7, 8, 2015

Brown recluse spiders most certainly live in the Keys. My husband was bit on 2 different occasions and my mother-in-law knew someone ‘back in the day’ that had to have part of his leg amputated because of one. I have seen them here.
[Captain Doom and Gloom] Let’s see, if the stocks of a company go up in value radically, then the price of the product will to, to pay the dividends and sell value of the stock. That means if you cannot afford the price of the product, you cannot have it! In this case, the Ebola drug will not be available to many, unless their health insurance or governments pay for it, which is taking money from others to save others. Ask yourself which is worse, the greed of people or the coming plague? Link
Check the record. The district 2 commissioner has not carried his own district in elections in years. So whom is he representing?
 I have a thought I would like to share with the folks that support President Obama. His inability to protect our boarders from the flood of illegal of immigrates will hurt every low income American. Everyone that is on the edge of poverty will have to share what little they have with someone who came here illegally. That will mean less. Less of everything. Is that the life you want? Think about it. The American pie is only so big, How much do you want to give away.
 The Left is getting more and more radical and dangerous. The Right is to, but their money making comes first.
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Employers added a net total of 209,000 jobs in July, the sixth straight month of job gains above 200,000, the government reported Friday.

The recent spurt of hiring has encouraged more people to start looking for work, causing the unemployment rate to inch up to 6.2 percent from 6.1 percent. The government only counts people searching for jobs as unemployed.

This is good news America. Bad news for the Chicken little set.

from the right
The default mindset of the anti Second Amendment set is to view those who own and/or legally carry firearms as being gun “nuts”, irresponsible cowboys. As with so many leftist shibboleths, this one is deeply flawed.

Legally owning or carrying a gun is a grave responsibility that gun owners recognize and accept.

If a legal gun owner has cause to use/show his/her gun in self-defense, he/she is having a very bad day, and it will only get worse. Should the gun owner deem it necessary to shoot an assailant, the ramifications are grave, life changing.

selfdefense-gunWhile using the gun in self defense might well save the life of the gun owner or loved ones, the outcome will be horrific for the gun owner, especially if the assailant is killed. That death will set in motion a river of events that the shooter will have no control over. The gun will be seized and defaced with evidence identification markings. It is possible that if the investigators interpret the circumstances as being suspicious, the shooter might be arrested. In any event, he/she will certainly need to hire an attorney. Even if the shooter is not arrested, he/she will be subjected to interrogation by the police, and likely will be sued by the family of the dead assailant. It is probable that the case will be presented to a Grand Jury. It is probable that if it goes to a grand jury, the shooter will be invited to testify. The shooter should rely on the advice of his/her expensive attorney in making the decision as to whether or not to testify. The fate and the future of the shooter will be in the hands of others. If a grand jury or a prosecutor decides that there is probable cause to believe the shooter committed a criminal act, he/she will be charged with that crime and will stand trial or plead out. If the shooter is convicted, jail /prison time is a real possibility. If the shooter, after conviction, is lucky enough to escape incarceration, it is highly probable that the shooter will be forced to serve restrictive probation. In any event the shooter will run up mountains of legal bills. The shooters life will be changed forever.

Whatever you might think of the shooting by George Zimmerman of Trevor Martin, Martin’s death threw Zimmerman’s life into chaos.

No sane person who legally carries or owns a gun has any desire to use that gun in self-defense, the consequences are just too grave. Use of a firearm in self-defense is only the best of a very terrible set of options.

Gun owners are serious, responsible people. In a Kansas study, it was determined that of the thousands of carry permit holders in Kansas, only nine tenths of one percent have been charged with a crime. Link

Since 1987, the state of Florida has issued 2.5 million concealed-carry permits, of those, only 168 people have committed firearms crimes. That’s .00672 percent of the total amount issued.


A POSTER WROTE: “I posted yesterday with a graphic showing the percentage of people leaving the workforce due to aging. The darn angels didn’t attach it. I guess it’s Sloan’s fault. Our beloved FTR accused me of making stuff up. Would you please post the attached. I will admit the source is the Wall Street Journal, a known communist organization. Thanks.”

graphic9FTR’S RESPONSE: Thanks to the poster for his/her continuing interest. I trust that he/she examined the data from the Social Security Admin that I provided which refutes the White House claim. I note that the graph mentioned was presented by the White House which has a vested interest in blaming the decline in work force participation on anyone or anything other than itself.

Why does the size of the labor force matter? If people are leaving the labor force for economic reasons (and they’re not going back to school), it would mean that the economy is in much worse shape than the official unemployment rate suggests. The jobless rate is officially 6.2 percent, but that only counts people who are actively seeking work — not labor-force dropouts.

The size of the labor force also goes a long way to determining America’s growth prospects. If, say, baby boomers are retiring faster than expected, then long-run U.S. economic growth will be lower than projected.

Even worse, if discouraged workers are dropping out of the labor force entirely (or retiring for economic reasons), they may never make their way back into jobs. Companies won’t even bother to look at their applications. They essentially become unemployable. That spells big trouble for all of us.

Just for the record, contrary to posters complaint, I did not suggest that he/she had made up the stats he/she posted on Wednesday. In fact I wrote: “Personally I’m convinced that the critic is absolutely convinced that he/she is correct, he/she is not lying, he/she is simply uninformed. It’s a shame that he/she doesn’t seem to even try to be informed.” Please recall that the critic called me a liar on Wednesday. You’ve got to ask yourself if it’s worth it to be amicable to liberals.

Remember those promised severe penalties if you refused to buy into Obamacare, they were there to guarantee that there would be enough insured persons and revenues to keep the program alive and affordable. Now we learn that 90% of Americans will avoid the penalty, there is a long laundry list of exemptions. The situation now is that the program is a defacto voluntary program. You and I will pay and pay and pay.


Dems raised notion of impeachment 86 times as often as have Republicans. They have raised tens of millions of dollars by railing about the issue. They have snookered their base yet again.