Friday, December 11, 2020

The Coconut Telegraph is my company when I’m on lunch break Tuesdays and Fridays. I look forward to it because it’s informative and reminds me how hilariously nutty my neighbors are. People tend to bitch a lot on here. Hey, I can’t blame them, it’s 2020! I just want to say thank you Ed. Thank you for all the effort you put into this. You certainly must get frustrated with people sometimes, yet you come back for more. I love the Keys. Once you live here, you start to take on this persona that you own the place, and whys the traffic so damn heavy? and Windixie was crowded and what’s up with that damn ocean of a parking lot anyways? We do that because this place is home. It’s paradise, and it ain’t easy for sure. We want people to respect it, drive like you’re not crazy, wear the damn mask, (but half the tourist have their nose sticking out and pull it away when they ask a question anyway). The miraculous thing is we still hold the door open for each other at the Shell Station. We still take a minute at Walgreens to ask the lady behind the counter how her day is going. We still smile even though others can’t see it. I live on Big Pine and I go nowhere else but Cudjoe to work and on our flats boat to fish; and mainly explore this beautiful ocean God gave us. I don’t need to go anywhere else. We have it all here. You are blessed. Just look around you. Merry Christmas Ed. I appreciate you, buddy. I pray the New Year doesn’t slam us upside the head. It might. Keep your chin up. ~Denise, BPK (Editor: From this point forward I’m in love with Denise.)


Anyone have boat stands/jacks for bottom painting, that I can rent or borrow? I’m on Little Torch Key

[“Mobil hair salon”] That is a great idea! how come no one ever thought of that?
I am losing it on realtor’s description of houses in Key West. “Cozy loft” is a darn ladder heading up to a 4 foot height (doghouse). “Washer/dryer within reach” means an outside laundry that’s within reach if you’re out back. Or listing a property for sale at an unrealistic price because the owner “suggested it”, but in reality, is a totally out of the ballpark asking price. The list goes on. Not all realtors, clearly. But some of the realtors in Key West amaze me with their next antic. They know their days are numbered with the free or almost free online sites.
The Monroe County Medical Examiner is studying what appears to be human remains found at 3 p.m. Sunday in a wooded area near the south end of the Boca Chica Bridge. The remains were found by a passerby who was walking his dog at approximately Mile Marker 5.5. Deputy Antonio Guieb responded and found more bones, all of which appeared to be human, in a campsite. Detectives responded shortly thereafter. The bones were handed over to the Medical Examiner. The investigation is ongoing.
Quotes from Mark Twain:
“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.”
“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
“We have the best government that money can buy.”
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
“All generalizations are false, including this one.”
“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.”
The Big Pine Key post office is really messed up.  We don’t get our mail until between 6 to 7:30 PM. It’s  too dark to see them coming and very unsafe for the Carriers.


[Double-take] I’ve got to stop smoking so much pot. I thought this lady was a Muppet!

[Benefits Of Covid Mask #8] You don’t have to brush you teeth before going out in public.

Ricky Nelson asked me and my party to leave. His band were playing in a living room size room in Calabasas, CA. The house was turned into a bar where his band was playing. I kept yelling, “B-o-oring!” Each song he did was slower then that last one. If he sang any slower he would have been stopped.

I appreciate the Isla Bella review. Very eye opening.
[The Old Days] Along about the time when tourism was getting started, things were a thousand percent more casual. You could get away with almost anything. One Christmas I found a 22 pound bale of pot floating off South beach and was walking down Duval Street with it with the neck of the garbage bag wrapped in plastic holly for Christmas spirit. The beat cop was walking my way and gave a sign of recognition as he passed me and I wished him a Merry Christmas. I really meant it! It was 2-3 days before Christmas.
[Reef Revitalization] Request for Proposals on January 6th, 2021 to support coral restoration. This grant opportunity is part of UWCK’s larger initiative — ‘Revitalizing the Florida Keys through Reef Restoration and Beyond,’ with support from the United Arab Emirates. Over the course of the next five years, $2,500,000 will be available to coral restoration practitioners for Mission: Iconic Reefs. The application for funding will be open through the UWCK grant management portal from January 6 – February 15, 2021

Did you know Catholics are only Catholics because their parents were? No one would consciously chose such a historically troubled set of superstitions if it wasn’t handed down from their parents.
[U.S. vs Facebook] US antitrust siege of tech widens with lawsuits vs Facebook. Regulators filed landmark antitrust lawsuits Wednesday against Facebook, the second major government offensive this year against once seemingly untouchable tech behemoths. The Federal Trade Commission and 48 states and districts sued the social network giant, accusing it of abusing its market power to squash smaller competitors and seeking remedies that could include a forced spinoff of Facebook’s prized Instagram and WhatsApp messaging services. The company’s conduct has crimped consumers’ choices and harmed their data privacy. Link

[Mouse] Here, a 3M perfect computer mouse for 99% of us putzes out there!  Buy a few. Link

[Ghost Writing] Several months ago I filled out an online form looking for a ghost writer to get my book finished. I didn’t complete the form because I realized that there were no people involved, only Artificial Intelligence’s algorithms—a machine was going to write it. Since that day I’ve been getting about 4-6 junk mails a day from different ghost writing sites. They even tell me what a great story plot I have, how original it is. The funny thing is that I never mentioned the story or any idea once I realized they were robots.


[Time] Joe Biden, Kamala Harris named ‘Time’ Person of the Year. Link

Most of these politicians are such a joke.  I just want to slap those fake smiles right off their faces.
[Bloody Sunday] For those eligible to donate, there is a blood drive this Sunday. The best gift you can give this season does not cost you anything but your time. Sunday, December 13 – Keys Vineyard Community Church -8:30am-12:30pm.

[Pearl Harbor Day] December 7 has come and gone with nary a mention. Will the Pearl Harbor attack’s notoriety fade along with “Remember the Alamo”?

Thumb their black noses?[?]

[Herd] 13 deer this morning. That’s the most we’ve ever had over for breakfast in forty years. Are they still endangered or just hungry?

Between the OP’s[?] restaurant review and mentioning Pritam Singh I knew I’ve made the right choice to have left the Keys. I miss the hoity-toity Big Pine Inn, Sugarloaf Lodge’s cold beer and greasy grouper sandwiches of the 1980’s.


[KW Citizen Online] I’m not renewing my subscription to the KW Citizen. Any news worth knowing is on their for free. If you know the name of the story you can Google it and read it for free.

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca Emperor