2013 December

Friday, December 13, 2013

CT-Banner7.3.13No Saturday Edition

Classified Ads     Events     Business Directory      Contact Us      Menu    



[O’Reilly Nails Key West] Look, it just goes to reason, if your town has a fire chief missing and presumed killed by drug cartels, a police department that has been indicted under RICO, a school superintendent and wife convicted of fraud, embezzlement, theft and you got dozens of bums on every block downtown, a City commissioner who owns the sleaziest clubs in  town and has an adult party that allows naked people to walk around. Then guess what, its not family friendly. O’Reilly captured the true pre Boca Chica Key West!


[Mystery] It appears that all of the aerial photos have been removed from the FKAA website where you could see whether you were in a gravity or LPS grinder area. Does anyone know why? I just got down here and was told I could find all this on their website.

om rotating


[“Ed: I’m thinking of discontinuing the political section”] Agreed! Pitch it all, as it is the junk mail of the CT — even FTR, who you like. Just toss it and we would all be happier and less discontent. Ommmmm

To Mr Walter Dambrowski, in case you need help fighting the mob guys at FKAA, I got a lot of friends with lots of ammo!



Bacon cinnamon rolls. Oh, yeah!

This is all we need, self-driving cars! It is bad enough idiots get driver licenses when they don’t even have the brainpower to walk upright and text at the same time.


Leave Sloan alone! He may be a bit eccentric but he is a really great guy, who like most of us old timers are really sick and tired of the s**t-hole those moneyed got-miners have turned the Keys into. At least he is trying more than can be said for most.



Ice cube mask designed to cure hangovers from a 1947 ad.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.    

[Dump Political Section] I second that vote: Deer Ed, please, do consider doing exactly what you said Thursday — Discontinue the political commentary, if that’s what you can call it. Our county has unfortunately become so divisive these last ten years, it makes me clamor for the good old days when all we could argue about was Bill Clinton’s choice of Oval office visitors. Enough with the vitriol and haters calling each other names, threatening violence against each other, etc. If the political section were a forum for an intelligent exchange of views with the intention of finding solutions and compromise, that would be, might be, enjoyable. Reading from people so stuck in one position on either side, with no interest or opening for dialogue, not so much. I propose a vote, yours first, and if you get 100 readers to agree, bye, bye to the political craziness

[Conspiracy] County commission removes grinder pump discussion from agenda at last minute and now FKAA removes all maps where the grinder pumps are going. It sure makes one wonder.



[Self-Driving Cars] As semi-autonomous vehicles advance, expect them to start com­municating with one another and eventually even with infrastructure. At intersections, smart stoplights could automatically turn to green if no other cars were approaching—which would smooth out traffic flow, reduce idling, and decrease accidents.

Go Ed, go! Discontinue the political section. It has nothing to do with the nature of the Coconut Telegraph and there’s way too many politico talking heads around everywhere. I rarely read it, none of it seems factual and it’s all self serving.

If any or your readers complain, offer to refund their subscription ‘free’.


[“Blessed here with such great, live music compared to anywhere else”] You haven’t been to South Beach in Miami,I take it. On Ocean Blvd there are musicians after musicians all along the street, one better than the next. It’s impressive. The bands inside the expensive hotels are even better! They are all national quality acts making our local bar bands sound like .. er … local bar bands.

gifts dog

The Big Pine Flea Market is open Saturday and Sunday from 8am till 2 pm. We have lots of great gift ideas for you.

Send your snow blind family up north some polarized sunglasses and sunscreen. I am sure they would love tropical dresses and beach hats too. We have lots of stocking stuffer ideas. Flashlights, fishing tackle, hair clips, water ball yoyos, sea shells, treasure coins, homemade natural soaps, watches, growing pink flamingo egg toys, bike lights and of course awesome tropical jewelry. Christmas wouldn’t be the same without someone getting a woopie cushion.

If you don’t want to spend actual money on gifts, just come in and take selfie pictures of yourself with the presents that you didn’t buy. Put it on your Facebook. If your friends tell you that you lost your marbles, don’t worry, we sell those too.


Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.    

[National Politics] Deer Ed,  I think you should do what you want.  If you are wanting to know what your readers want, I would not publish either. I always say, in a crowd, you are better off not talking politics because you’re never going to change anyone’s opinion, so why even publish on the Coconut. Not only would your day be more enjoyable, but it would sure decrease the amount of time you donate to the site.

monks praying

What a choir of silent monks does will make you laugh. Because silent monks can’t sing, this choir of them have to get a little creative when they put on a show. Video

The Nautical Flea Market is set for January 18-19, 2014 on our Chamber of Commerce grounds on BPK.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

[Dog Medical Marijuana] From the city that claims peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are racist two Seattle veterinarians are pioneering the use of medical marijuana to treat pets. Dr. Sarah Brandon, co-founder of Canna-Pet, says medical cannabis can be used for many ailments plaguing your dog or cat.

The Canna-Pet website boasts that medical marijuana can help with OCD, excessive vocalization and inappropriate urination. My dog Nappy is currently circulating a petition. Legalize dog dope now!! Florida must be a leader in legal access to this vital medicinal herb…oh, and bring dog treats! Link

black hand13


[Garbage contract] You still do not get it. You are living and witnessing corruption in America at it’s best. Money is God in the Florida Keys.

Why the Mafia loves garbage. Link

When are the nature trails going to open on Cudjoe and Summerland Keys? and are they going to stick pot trays every 100 yards and allow nude bike riding?

[Guns at Schools] The citizens of this country starting to get some real social justice. The Florida appeals court ruling today that the University of North Florida was violating state law when it prohibited a woman from storing a gun in her vehicle while she attended class will spill over to cities and counties statewide. Link

isaksen-flood-roof 4.23.13

[Grinder Pump Paranoia] My friend was followed by a cop the other day, but the cop did not approach, but my friend knew what was going down. Anyone else involved fighting the Grinder Pump fiasco been ‘looked’ at? It is all about the money, the big money and some bubba’s just do not like having their wallets ruffled.

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.   


[“Dump political posts”] Yes, yes, yes. Perhaps more real boobies instead of those boobs.

[Grinder Pumps] I worked 35 years in commercial plumbing & electrical, and the only necessary sewer hookup that required a grinder pump was the prison/jail connections where T-shirts, towels, and all types of paper products etc. are flushed.


[Dump Political Section] Ed, Do everyone a favor and please get rid of that political section. It has nothing to do with the Keys and all it does is give angry, clueless people a way to vent their frustrations and, in some weird way, add meaning to their lives. I vote that you can that section. Let’s have more local gossip.



[Free Ad] New home décor store on Big Pine.  I’ve been seeing their ad in the paper since we arrived and my girlfriend and I finally made it to Floridamingo which is to the left of NAPA on US1.  What a great store and even greater prices. They have home décor, gifts and accessories.  It is owned by a mother/daughter team.  During their grand opening that runs thru the end of the year, get 30% off anything that is regular priced.

Maybe keep the local  political stuff. Or is that all lies too? No more national politics is good with me.


[Political Section To End] Ed, I loved your post script to the writer. I think we can all thank the 24 hour, 7 days a week media for all the hatred! Everything is political any more, a world gone nuts. A six year old booted from school for sexuall harassment because he kissed a girl! It’s the Left’s fault, no, it’s the Rights fault. Aaargh!

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.    



Swiss bank vault for sale with ‘money swimming pool’. Link

[Dump the Hate] Ed, I am so happy to read that you are “thinking of discontinuing the political section.” Let’s return the CT to a site for items of local Keys interest and discussion!


[Microsoft should bring back a classic user interface like Windows 7] Good news. Microsoft is extending the sale of Windows 7 PC’s which was due to expire late next year, no word of a new cut off date. The end of support for Windows 7 is supposed to be in 2020, however adoption of Windows 8 is so bad (below 2%, via Net Applications) that it appears Win 7 will be around for longer than 6 years. Look at online retailers for Win 7 Professional machines, forget retail locations as they have to push the experimental Windows 8. Win 7 Pro will also run your older XP software. Most businesses are buying Win 7 Pro machines online, most consumers are buying tablets. If you’re suffering, new Win 8 machines supposedly can be turned back to Windows 7, ask your local computer tech for assistance. Link

rudolph head


[Friday joke] A Viking named “Rudolph the Red” predicted to his wife that it was about to rain. When she asked how he knew this he replied, “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!”

I don’t know about you folks, but since the small millipedes have taken over my property, I haven’t seen any Palmetto bugs. That is the good news, the bad news is the millipedes taste terrible!

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.  

[Correction] The newspaper story of the 905/Card Sound Road CBRS area homes getting grinder pumps was incorrect.

The area’s installation of grinder pumps was not delayed due to “electrical upgrade requirements” prohibited in CBRS areas (those homes, located in a CBRS area, already had electricity –the extension of which is what is prohibited).

The sewer grinder pumps will be connected to a central sewer system, and therein lays the problem as “central sewer connection” (along with electrical, water, cable and telephones) is prohibited under the County’s local (i.e. as in the Federal Gov. does not prohibit this, but our County does) CBRS Overlay Ordinance prohibiting utilities “to or through CBRS areas”.

That same local “or through” prohibitive language applies to several bridges which are themselves designated CBRS areas, thereby effecting several connecting Keys and the residents thereof (such as Niles Channel and Tavernier Creek Bridges). That’s the reason the County withheld connection permits to all those homes on NNK which are not in a CBRS area (i.e. because the electrical wires went “through” a CBRS area to get to them).

The County has begun the process to change this CBRS Overlay to allow for central sewer connections (in or through CBRS areas), but it is an involved process which must go through State DEO and could be further delayed if someone (like that awful woman on NNK) protests it.

Until the changes to this local Ord. are finalized, or a court order is issued, the County cannot issue those sewer connection permits… just as was the case with NNK electrical connection permits.

I’m sure there are many interested parties on both sides of this old, tiresome, and overreaching (CBRS Overlay) issue closely watching this.


[“National Politics”] Delete it. Today! Please and thank you.

santa sleigh rocking


[Friday joke] What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a Knight? One slays the dragon and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh! Ho, ho, ho.

[National Politics] Ed, well said. Most days I never venture below that line of separation and will not miss the section if it is not there. You are 100 percent right, it serves no good and changes no minds. As I see it anyone posting, left or right, is usually too consumed by the game of politics to ever give the other side of the coin a minute’s thought. I’m not sure when politics in America became the second most popular sporting event in people’s lives, but until the attitude of the population evolves there is not much hope that our government will operate more efficiently.


Can someone tell me how many grinder pumps were used in Tamarac Park on Big Coppitt?

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.  

dump truck santa

I am definitely in favor of you dumping the political section of the CT. It would make my day better as well!

[Citizen Of The Day Says] She enjoys a nice day at the beach and all the countless options for great food in Key West.


NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary recently welcomed Sunshine Coast Adventures of Tavernier, Fla., as the newest participant in the sanctuary’s Blue Star education and conservation program.

Launched in 2009, Blue Star salutes charter companies that help protect the Florida Keys coral reef ecosystem by promoting responsible diving and snorkeling practices, and educating their patrons on the role humans play in reef health. Unlike some of the more global causes of reef decline – such as climate change – damage to reefs from diving and snorkeling is considered easily preventable at the local level through education and experience.

“We are delighted to welcome Sunshine Coast Adventures into the Blue Star program and applaud their commitment to conservation and education,” said Sean Morton, sanctuary superintendent.  “Dive and snorkel operators have the opportunity to inspire stewardship among the hundreds of thousands of visitors to Keys’ reefs each year, and through the Blue Star program, charter businesses are working together to protect these fragile coral reefs for future generations.”



[Grinder Pumps] Oops, someone just pointed out I spelled outage with two t’s. Here is a corrected post.

There was an ad in today’s Citizen from a woman who is moving from KW took out a page 3 ad with a message from Jesus. Are these people all nuts or what? That ad must have cost her hundreds of dollars just to preach to the choir. What a waste of money.


[Selfie] The person who posted the Bush/Bono picture needs to learn what a “selfie” is.

[Economic Stimulation For Out Of Town Contractors] Is it me or is the new road work BPK and Ramrod finishing off with as many bumps as it had before? Especially on  the approach and exits of the bridges. Who is the quality control engineer on this project?

The heritage trail tore up the road in that area 2 years ago and finished with re-sodding. A month later the DOT tears up the same road and sides and is re-sodding right now. Now we are waiting on the sewer people to come tear up the same road to pipes. This is how our federal govt works! These projects could have been combined and saved us millions.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.  

jesus loaves and fish

[When Jesus fed the poor, he did it himself. He did not take from others to do so.] Well we really don’t know if he conjured bread out of thin, performed a sleight of hand trick, or the people were delirious from hunger and saw things or were very open to suggestion. I believe Jesus and his disciples were the older version of Robin Hood and his merry men. They were very hungry thus shoplifted at the local market and could carry only so much per person under their clothes. Thus it appeared so many were filled with so little as the crowd was all watching Jesus, and not his disciples, also bring out food from under their clothes. When he had all the loaves and fish he made them all fish sandwiches.

[Captain Doom and Gloom] Keep the political section. I seems posters do not have any answers to the political problems affecting them, so all they have left is to give hate email and complain about the opposite side of the fence. Same goes for the GP situation. The spin is in for anything that the governments, from the Fed to our local junta, spend money on! We sheeple have no say in anything anymore and the ideas to make money for the rulers is paramount. There might be some base reason for the degrading of the people, but it all amounts to a power move by the elite. Three classes of people, the Rulers, the cops/military and the rest of us are what is coming, or has it been this way for sometime? To drop the Political Section from the CT just supports their goal. God save the country!

My wife and I just came back from Miami and took our time seeing the sights. The sights made our stomachs turn. Everywhere we looked, we saw our tax money at play with all the crap the junta is sticking all over the place. It is so obvious that the Keys are now the Kick-Back Isles that everything that can be bought through some “Relative In the Business” is the method of madness for those in power. Aluminum railings where there is no need. Parks for nobodies, trails for iguanas to play on, useless extravagance for tourists that rival Dizzyworld. We See Da Light, and it Ain’t what we want the Keys to be. Time to move!

from the right
We all know that Charlie Crist was a Republican, and Governor of Florida. Many of us may not know that Crist is better cast as a Democrat/Liberal/Progressive simply because he is a big fan of taxes and spending your money, even worse he has only a nodding acquaintanceship with the truth. While then Republican Governor Crist preached frugality, in 2009 alone he heaped on at least $2.2 billion of new taxes and fees on Floridians.

crist lips13On National TV, Hardball with Chris Matthews, while speaking of the Obama stimulus legislation that was then under debate, Crist said, “It’s going to help (Floridians’) children. It’s going to help their traffic situation. It’s going to help produce more jobs here in the Sunshine State. That’s a perspective that I have to have as, in essence, the CEO of Florida. And that’s why I support it.”  In TIME magazine Crist said: “I see this package (the stimulus) as a pragmatic, commonsense opportunity to move forward. I didn’t campaign for Obama, we don’t agree on everything, but he’s my president, and my job is to help Florida stay in the black.” On Meet The Press, Republican Florida Governor Crist said: “Certainly this stimulus package, about $12.2 billion to Florida, will help Florida an awful lot.”

The St. Petersburg Times reported that at a rally in support of Obama’s stimulus package Crist introduced Obama and  said to a cheering crowd: “We know that it’s important that we pass a stimulus package,” “This is not about partisan politics. This is about rising above that, helping America and reigniting our economy.”

Crist even went so far as to lobby members of Florida’s congressional delegation from both parties to support the stimulus package.

Of course, all of the foregoing will cause most D/L/P’s to smile with favor on Mr. Crist. What follows will not, it will add yet another chapter to Crist’s book of lies.

Of course we all know now that the stimulus failed, especially here in Florida where our unemployment rate under Crist greatly exceeded the national rate. And in lock step with Mr. Obama, Crist drove our debt through the roof while our employment situation went down the toilet.

Crist ran away from the Governor’s office and tried to find government work as a Senator. He ran for the Senate first as a Republican and faced a primary challenge from Marco Rubio. Crist’s words and acts returned to haunt him and to kill his Senate bid.

Apparently Crist, like Obama, has so little regard for his constituents that lying to them is as natural as breathing. As the primary heated up Crist fractured the truth by telling a national television audience he didn’t endorse the $787 billion federal stimulus bill pushed by Obama and passed by Congress in February. Crist was trying to distance himself from Obama and D/L/P dogma.  

“I didn’t endorse it,” Crist told CNN host Wolf Blitzer. “I — you know, I didn’t even have a vote on the darned thing. But I understood that it was going to pass and I wanted to be able to utilize it for the benefit of my fellow Floridians.”

Then Crist put on the robes of Brutus and stabbed his pal Obama in the back. He told Blitzer that: “You know, unfortunately, the president thinks that everything we need to do for every problem that comes along is spend more money and that’s just wrong,” he said. Crist then forged ahead with even more noxious pap. He said: “Frankly, enough is enough. And I know that the people understand that. And I understand it. And I understand it because I’m the grandson of a Greek immigrant who came to this country with nothing, really taught me the value of a dollar, because his first job in America, in Altoona, Pa., was shining shoes for a living for $5 a month.”

As a result of Crist’s perfidy, his poll numbers went into the sewer and through a grinder. What emerged was Charlie Crist, Independent candidate for Senate. He finished the Senate race a distant second. And now, Charlie Crist, again looking for a government job, has again entered the sewer, run through the grinder, and emerged as a shiny new but odious Democrat candidate for Governor.

Crist, the chameleon, earned the “Liar, Liar, pants on fire” label from his home town paper, Tampa Bay Times Politifact in November 2009. Link

At least Crist said one thing we can agree with. “Enough is enough”. Crist’s one term as governor was enough.

axe crossed firePart 2) Every single lower Keys resident should be very worried about the effects of Obamacare on our volunteer fire departments.  To the feds, fire department volunteers are considered employees of the jurisdiction they serve. The IRS web site, says: “Generally, tax laws apply to firefighters in the same manner as for other types of workers, “It does not matter whether firefighters are termed ‘volunteers,’ are considered employees, or are identified by any other name, if the work they do is subject to the will and control of the payer, under the common-law rules, they are employees for Federal tax purposes.” Please remember that the IRS enforces Democare.

If the various volunteer fire departments are forced to comply with Democare, the cost will literally shut them down.

The National Volunteer Fire Council, chair, Philip Stittleburg said: “It is critically important that fire and EMS agencies not be forced to offer health insurance to volunteer personnel” “Agencies don’t have the resources to provide health benefits to their volunteers and individual volunteers have no expectation of receiving such benefits from the agencies they serve.”

A group of Republican legislators are attempting to pass legislation that would amend Democare so that municipalities would not be required under the law to offer health insurance policies to volunteer firefighters and emergency responders. The Democrats are resisting.