2013 February

Friday, February 15, 2013

(Editor: Oops I lost the menu fiddling around in the cloud. I’ll get it back this Thursday. Please use the above one until then.)

(Saturday, February 16. The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays)




Fat Albert will keep flying!  Thank you all for your support.  Too bad for you square grouper addicts in the Florida Keys.

Thank you, Senator Rubio and all of our congressmen who rallied and saved these sites.  We had bi-partisan support from Arizona and other states, and thank Arizona for getting the ball rolling.  For the record, we received no response from FL senator Bill Nelson, Democrat, nor newly elected Representative Garcia, Democrat.


The big cat on Little Torch was a mountain lion not a leopard. Her name was Kayla and she loved to go swimming by jumping from the front of her slowly moving boat then swimming back to the ladder climbing in then doing it again a few minutes later. Good times!



The U.S. battleship Maine exploded and sank in Havana Harbor in Cuba February 15, 1898, ultimately leading the United States to declare war on Spain. A memorial plot is located in the Key West cemetery where the remains of the sailors rest. This photo was taken on the day it was dedicated in 1900.

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Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone? Big Yellow Taxi



Here is a good picture of our umbrella cockatoo (Bobbie) with a waitress at Boondocks – he was the mascot for Howard Livingston and the MM24 band. We would bring Bobbie to all of the bands gigs and Bobbie always watched them as they played.


Who cares about politic affiliations when it comes to Ted Nugent that guy plain out rocks (and rolls). I mean c’mon Wang Dang Sweet Poontang is so much better than a fish, a shiny rock or some bland tasting veggie. Not sure about the gas though, I mean the feeling of relief when you rip a good ol’ long winded fart (gas) and no one is around to smell or hear is a experience in itself. Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

an_party_animals[Party Time] Coconuts Lounge & Liquors at the light on Big Pine Key will be hosting a Big 30th” Anniversary Party on Sunday, March 10th.  Original owners, Joe and Meri-Lynn Britz (with Betty and Ronnie (deceased) Rondeau), have been “Rockin’ You Right at the Light” all these years and are throwing a big party that will benefit the Big Pine Boys and Girls Club.  The party is from 1 to 6 pm, and will be hosted by Terry Cassidy, Ron Bauman, and Joe & Meri-Lynn Britz, AKA “The Key Lime Pie Band” with guest appearances by Brian Roberts, Moose, “Bobby D Band”, and Rodger JoKella.  Our M.C. for the day is the our very own Steve Miller who will be running the 50/50 drawings, gift raffles and giveaways all day to benefit the kids of Big Pine.   Our famous Pig Dave will be cooking up his pork and side dishes for us and all the proceeds from the food, draft beer, sodas and raffles will go to the Boys and Girls Club. 

Without your help and support during this last 30 years of doing business here, this would not be possible, so come on out to The NUT in downtown Big Pine Key and celebrate with us! Bulletin Board

Where were the usual Menu links on Thurs? I wanted to see if anyone I know got arrested. (Ed: They are at the top under the banner. They might have been disrupted momentarily Thursday when I was fiddling with a new feature I’m working on.)


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fine-woodworking-ad 1.7.13

[“So how does this affect the price of Grouper, tomatoes, gold and gas”] Geez, that was a long winded response to the above question! I thought prices were based on the laws of supply and demand; my economics professor lied to me that sum-bitch. I thought I was doing my part when I stopped buying grouper, gold and tomatoes in the hope I would help increase supply and lower their demand which should lower the price.

I am still able to buy the gas cause because I was able to sell some gold I had bought on speculation for $500 an ounce a few years back. Call me greedy, but I made an $1100 in net profit per ounce. I have been thinking of buying a more fuel efficient vehicle in the hopes of using less gas which will increase the supply of gas and also put a little extra money in my pocket. Them damn politicians have caused the price of new cars to be so high that the cost savings over the long term just isn’t there yet. The money I would save buying less gas versus what I would need to spend on the new car and get back for resale of my old vehicle still leaves me in the hole unless them politicians can get the cost of gas above 5 bucks I will stick with my semi-old clunker.  

an_eyehole[“What happened to the high eye-in-the-sky pole cameras”] They put more of them in and at a lower height so they can gaze through your windshield and use their facial recognition software to id you. Also they have them to scan the entire football stadiums filled with people and smaller ones installed in hidden places on busy pedestrian streets. They have undercover types using their button hole cameras connected to their smartphones to snap covert pictures of people in bars, restaurants and other public locations. God forbid if you say something stupid while drunk in public now. Many of the people I know don’t go out anymore, rather opting to stay home to enjoy what little privacy they have left.

We are working in corporation with the Monroe County Sheriff’s department regarding the investigation into the alleged killing of cats on Big Pine key by the Iguana Killers Club.

Thank you,
Katie Bentley
Safe Harbor Animal Rescue of the Key



[Rare Black Bob Cat Captured in Florida] Only 20 pounds, but that night runner on Ramrod might be something like this guy. He is so cute, I want one!

Self-parking Audi via your smartphone. Link



[South Park] Definitely not for fuddy-duddys, but even very intelligent people enjoy it. You’ve got to have a good sense of humor.

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Springers-Prime-Rib00     Doerfels-at-Springers

Prime Rib Dinner    Live Music


In 1914 Henry Ford doubled his workers pay to $5 a day.  He did it to help retain workers on his boring and difficult assembly lines.  He also wanted his workers to be able to afford the product they were making.  At the same time he reduced the standard work day from 9 hours to 8 hours, enabling him to run 3 shifts and increase productivity.  This event accelerated the growth of the American middle class for all of the obvious reasons.  Naturally, he was deemed “a traitor to his class” by all the other tycoons. 


[Knocked Up] Is anybody else feeling the same, so over the term “baby bump” and pictures of same? Doesn’t anyone just get pregnant any more.




Bagpipes and Drums Flash Mob. I just want to know where the hell they found so many pipers! Link

Hundreds of red snapper killed by feds when they blow up old oil rigs! Video


Gangsta gun etiquette. Video




Sticky Note Wrist Watch Pad. It beats tying a string to your finger.

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Does anyone have any info on Bilbo’s BBQ in Marathon?   A couple of weeks ago we tried to eat there on a Saturday at 6pm and they were closed.  Their phone goes directly to voicemail with a full mailbox.  I hope they didn’t throw in the towel because they have really good food.


The big cat on Little Torch was Kayla and she was a mountain lion. She lived on Powell and used to go out on their catamaran which was named Kayla’s Cat. They also had a couple of white wolves. There was some kind of family feud and they have now left the area.



Remember to walk the dog before leaving home if you vacuum with Rumba. Video

[“I wish we could all be more like the Europeans”]  My grandparents came here to get away from the European ways of doing things.  Thank heavens!  Europe is still there and lets almost anyone move in if that’s the way you really want to live.



Hi Winter People, I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in northern tip of Newfoundland.  He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.  The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force.  His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.  He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.



[Ambergris] Is whale vomit floating gold? Video

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[Three Dog Night] I thought Three Dog Night were pretty groovy guys with a great band. Then one of my old hippie buddies said they were also kind of a teeny bopper sensation like Justin Bieber. This video seems to confirm it. So on a high note, those teeny boppers will now be sexy, mature women in the crowd this weekend. You can’t say that about many Woodstock generation bands. Mama Told Me Not To Come

an salad toss

Is Kelsey’s still open in Marathon? When we still lived on BP years back before we moved to TN we would go there several times a year for special occasions. In the mid 90’s, if I remember correctly, we could get out of there for around a c-note. Food and service were always great. We still use their table side Caesar Salad dressing recipe at the house. Of course we always got to throw in a couple of extra anchovies.

I try to live by two rules: Don’t make fun of stupid people (they can’t help it). Don’t be stupid (people will make fun of you).


I don’t share my thoughts because I think it will change the minds of people who think differently. I share my thoughts to show the people who already think like me that they’re not alone.



The fine line being flirty and being creepy appears to depend on how hot you are.

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[“Offended by coon, wishes we could be more like the Europeans”] I wish you were more American!




[“Find the cat”] I found it! 

[Zaza’s] They want a whopping $500,000 for the business, the 15 year lease, and after only being open 2 seasons and bleeding red ink? Sure the food is good, but the only people that like it are rich snowbirds that fly away when the heat arrives. The restaurant is out of character for that area and the Keys in general. It was a bad decision but that’s their $200,000 mistake, not ours. 

Who’s going to front half a million plus operating costs for something they will have to gut? The lease? Heck, the Lodge is desperate to get a working restaurant there because it will boost attendance. Anyone eyeballing it will just wait and avoid paying half a million as they got to pay at least $100,000 to renovate. 

We would like to see something work there that caters to mostly everyone including us locals who love air conditioning in the summer. It has to be really awesome, because it’s got to get people to take the next turn off on the highway, circle and come back. 

The sooner Zaza’a people are out of there, the sooner someone can try something that will really work there for a change. I would be very suspicious if Zaza’s sells for anything but a small fraction of what they are asking for, anyone smart will wait for them to fail and pick up the lease because it is a tough location.


[Raccoons smash bird eggs but don’t eat them] A raccoon is a tiny, evil, adorable bear with human hands. They are handsome in appearance and can even seem cute, but they are hateful rascals. I have personally watched raccoons climb a tree to a bird’s nest and throw the bird’s eggs out of the nest. They did not eat the eggs; they threw the eggs on the ground. I was far away, but I’m willing to bet they were laughing when they did it.


[Captain Doom and Gloom] A deer friend moved up to a north central state to invest in junk properties subsidized by the Fed to be rebuilt at Fed Expense for junk people to live in at Fed Expense and raise junk families at Fed Expanse and he is making a freaking fortune at Fed Expense….your tax monye!

This should demonstrate why the Democrat Party should be dissolved before they hurt themselves. Link

The pope is infallible only in matters of faith and morals. In other words He’s a nut case living in a demented dream world like all religious freaks, right?

DEF: TAXES n, A system to redistribute a countries wealth as loans of valueless media to the inept non-productive from those who produce too much for their own good, by a bunch of suited ingrates smart enough to con the rest of us into believing they are Gods or Congressmen. SEE: Welfare, Grants, Funding and Lotteries.


A while back someone asked the question “Would the Government lie to us?” Surprisingly no one gave an in-debth answer. I can’t even comprehend how anyone above the age of ten can be so naive to ask a question like that. Deer hearts all Governments lie, cheat, coerce, threaten, steal, and even murder. This is true in all countries and at all levels of Government. I am not a student of the American System of Democratic Government. I find it interesting how it was able to bamboozle so many millions of people into thinking that they were free in the land of the free, when they were pawns all along. The ones that woke up and realized what was going on were rubbed out. When as a child living in Hungary, everyone knew but the youngest, that you didn’t badmouth the leaders of the country and you sang the praises of the leaders. If not, you could end up in reform school.

In Eastern Europe the tanks kept everybody in line. In America it’s the banks. Not everyone is aware that from George Washington on, every president opposed a central bank. The rich upper crust realized how much power they would yield if they controlled the money. Andrew Jackson was totally against it, so much so, that the British tied to assassinate him.

The Central Bank, or as it is known as the FED (The Federal Reserve) came about the Presidency of Woodrow Wilson. The moneybags shucked and jived until he signed into law, (I wonder how big was his cut).

He was heard to say, “This is one legislation that I will live to regret.” The Federal Reserve has nothing to do with the Government, it is a big masquerade in the red, white, and blue. It is a private club of the moneybags, like Mr. Soros. These fat cats are the ones that create economic depressions. They are the reason your dollar is not worth the same as it was 10 yrs ago. The American working person has been skinned so many times that it is a wonder that his bones are not showing.

I noticed that FTR ignored the postings about him insulting the intelligence of the CT readers. Does he think he’s God too? What a pity to be so old and bitter.


[Benghazi “The tragic event itself escalated too rapidly for any military response from us.’]  Exactly wrong.  There was plenty of time to send rescue teams that have been trained, prepared, and staged in locales where they would have been able to respond and save everyone.  Those teams are still in place today, ready for the next emergency.  The order to send them was not only never given, but prevented from being given.  Help was denied and everyone in that chain of command should be tried for treason.  No one should have died.

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“Ted Nugent is a clown” is typical liberal, left wing, sophomoric logic. My opinion differs from yours, therefore you are a clown. Such nonsensical posts truly are as boring as watching grass grow.

Trivia: What does “GOP” stand for?
Answer: Nothing. The GOP stands for absolutely nothing.

[Diminishing Return] Anytime you read that there has been a high-minded bill full of good intentions shot down by Republicans you can be sure of the reason.  Once that good intention was put into the title, there followed such a stuffing of pork for various liberal causes that the result would throw buckets of money in their directions and very little to the original cause.

] Anytime you read that there has been a high-minded bill full of good intentions shot down by Republicans you can be sure of the reason.  Once that good intention was put into the title, there followed such a stuffing of pork for various liberal causes that the result would throw buckets of money in their directions and very little to the original cause.

an_blood_line Lg[Benghazi] Republicans don’t want justice they want vengeance, just like they do on immigration and everything else they hate. They’re like Muslims, they don’t seek solutions only revenge. Benghazi will never happen again, yet the Right isn’t satisfied with that fact—they want blood.

Be a low information voter and continue to drink the kool-aid of the main stream media. Amen.



I’d like the suggestion that Egypt should get a new zoo, however that is very silly. Egypt is a zoo full of ignorant monkeys who will be led around by the nose by the Islamo-fascists. Israel will not be a happy state.

[A Coyote Tale] (definitely need to readjust our thinking) CALIFORNIA: The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State. TEXAS: The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.


right only grey

fact-checkWhoop dee do, Shazzam. Golly whizicks, finally…… at last….. one of my critics and I can agree on something.  Yesterday a poster joined me in urging that you refuse to blindly accept anything posted here as being fact. My left field critic and I agree that every claim of fact should be checked out by the reader.  Everyone who posts on this side has an agenda, it’s up to you, the reader, to decide who and what to believe.

The critic was writing about my recitation of the facts attendant to the investigation of Governor Scott and his association with Columbia/HCA.  If you’re interested please re-read From The Right the other day that was about Governor Scott and his total lack of culpability in the Columbia/HCA dust up. Make notes. Then please browse your way around the web. I challenge any and all to post any info or data whatsoever that shows that Scott was involved in any fraud or any criminality. Much of the data in my post the other day was gleaned from: Link

Please remember that Scott was elected Governor in 2010. In the primary he defeated Bill McCollum. In the general election he defeated Alex Sink.  Both battles were bruising bare knuckle fights. Neither Sink nor McCollum presented any evidence that Scott had committed any improprieties or crime during his leadership of Columbia/HCA.

If you have any info that provides any proof or evidence whatsoever that Scott was involved in any ethical or illegal activity, you are smarter and a better investigator that Bubba and Janet Reno. Shoot, you’re also smarter, a better investigator than GWB and his AG. Please check it out and search neutral sites.

By the way, my critic labeled the posting as being nothing more than a “huge smokescreen”.  I challenge the critic to tell us specific falsehoods, or shams that were in my posting about Scott. He won’t.

Part 2) I must respectfully disagree with yesterday’s poster who posted an excuse for the Obama Admin handling of the Benghazi murders. On the other hand, I too am sick and tired of hearing excuses for the failure of the Obama Admin to provide sufficient security at the Benghazi Consulate. Nearly all agree that the site was incredibly dangerous.  The reason for the Obama admin decision to only permit a “light footprint” of security was nothing more than craven politics. The decision, taken for political reasons, cost us 4 American lives and untold tons of American “street creds”. Ask yourself if any of the terrorists have been brought to justice. The tragedy will only further embolden the terrorists. Yesterday’s poster suggested that there was insufficient time to adequately respond.  The facts are that the beginning of the terrorist raid was seem in near real time video by Obama’s State Department. According to the Pentagon the raid began at about 9:42 PM. The last man was murdered at about 5:15 AM, about 7 and a half hours later.  Team Obama knew from nearly the instant that AQI started the assault, that it was terrorism. Team Obama failed, and failed miserably to even attempt any military rescue.  It is absolutely beyond denial that Obama/Clinton could have had Air Force or Marine, or Navy jet fighters and/or helo gunships on site long before the last man was murdered. Team Obama failed and failed miserably to provide even reasonable security. Then they lied about it.

Even worse, it was not a simple screw up, it was a decision taken solely for political reasons. Shame on Clinton and Obama.

teleprompter15Part 3) “When Americans were asked if they approved of President Obama‘s State of the Union Address, the polls differed from 53% to 67% approval. America is a center left country.” Thus sayeth a poster yesterday. Ask yourself, what are the facts? I think that the poster got his/her data from Politico which quoted a CNN poll. If you read the Politico article you will find that the very last paragraph says: “CNN noted that the sample of those surveyed was “about 12 points more Democratic than the population as a whole.”  In a separate story CNN said: The sample of speech-watchers in the poll were 44 percent Democratic and 17 percent Republican. Those numbers indicate that the sample is about 12 points more Democratic than the population as a whole.”  By the way, it looks like only the die hard Dems watched the speech. Only 33.5 million of us watched the speech, that’s the lowest number since Bubba’s last one in 2000. By the way, if you are an Obamaista, you probably will  not want to read Politico’s story entitled “State of the Union fact check: A look at President Obama’s claims.” If you don’t want to read it, don’t go to: Link

Enjoy.  Respectfully submitted: