2014 January

Friday, January 10, 2014

CT-Banner7.3.13No Saturday Edition

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firefighter montageThis evacuee of the Wildwood brush fire is very grateful for the quick response and containment of the fire. It was very scary seeing that big ball of fire out the front windows. Needless to say, when the first unit arrived and said to leave, I was gone!

Watching the operation on the other side of Key Deer Blvd with all the firefighters, law enforcement and all related personnel was a learning experience. Containing the fire and running a 6 inch fire hose to the nearest fire hydrant in Eden Pines, along Key Deer and Wildwood is no easy task. Many thanks to all involved. And very many thanks to the gentleman in the pick-up truck that called in the fire and alerted me at my house

nira tocco realtor 9.12



Earthquake off Cuba shudders folks from Keys to Orlando. The 5.1 magnitude quake occurred just before 4 p.m. in the ocean about 24 miles north of the Cuban city. Link

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bacon pig screaming pan

Saying “Beer can” with a British accent sounds like “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent. 

There are hundreds of new top level domain names (.com. .net, etc) coming this year. Here’s the list. Link 
isaksen-flood-roof 4.23.13

servant fan couch

It is common knowledge among hobos all across North America and Canada that Key West is the place to go during the cold in the North. Now that they know they’re welcome in Key West with free food, transportation, showers, lodging, and health care in this ‘One Human’ city they might just stay year round. Let’s notify all the police departments throughout the land to inform their hobo’s that Key West welcomes them with kindness.

What’s the deal with the News Barometer? Link to their site links to Nov 29, 3013. Are they down forever? Same goes for the Bahia Honda Webcam on the TennsforOceans website. Totally pathetic. Get on the ball or just go offline.
greedy10[“Greedy businessperson vs manual laborer”] A business manager who doesn’t understand employees is someone who hasn’t been either long enough. Many employees don’t know that most who have to support a business and family do so because they don’t have enough money not too. Most of those wealthy enough not to have to bother with either of the above are always threatened with becoming one of them unless they invest their funds, pick their friends and business associates wisely. Of all the three, the lowly employee sleeps the best at night because they are tired and their worry ends when they clock out.
[Poor Doomed] Pretty soon the world will be at a crossroads about what to do with growing number of poor people and the way technology is eliminating unskilled jobs.  The poor will have to be accommodated by the “haves” or eliminated by them.
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angelic boy head

[Kiddie Pot] Florida House to propose Bill to legalize strain of marijuana for seizures in children. Link

[Friday joke] Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, “I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs.”
“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do.”
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, “Hot Dogs, get your dogs here.” and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.
“Two dogs, please!,” says one. The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their ‘dogs.’ The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush, and then, after staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and in a soft brogue whispers: “What part did you get?”



[Everyone Has A Drug] What do dolphins use like a recreational drug? Link


Every minute, 571 new websites are created and more than 200 million emails are sent. Google discovered that an average of 9,500 new malicious websites were registered daily in 2012 

chili dance top hat cane


ABATE’s Chili Cook Off is just around the corner. This is a peek at last years’. ABATE has done another great Chili Cook Off. This is a short video, a walk through. As a life time member of ABATE, me & the Coconuts family are tickled silly to be part of this. We have been here since the beginning 12 years ago and hope to be part of it for a very long time to come. Coconuts has been a biker friendly roadhouse from the start 30 years ago. We love you guys, we are always ready to help in any event ABATE is working on. Ride safe & have a blessed day and the best New Year ever!  ~Joe/ Coconuts Link

[Friday Joke] Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one asked, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The first engineer nodded approvingly and said “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”


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indian kokopelli

Inside the Peyote Way Church of God. Link

[3D printed buildings coming soon] Scaled up 3D printer builds a house a day out of layered concrete, allowing for curved walls and advanced deployment on moons and other planets prior to people arriving. Link 
Cuba Shakes. 5.1 earthquake sends ripples Keyswide. Link

dino flintstones

Was there a grinder pump post yesterday? I don’t recall seeing one. If not, then that’ll be the first time grinder pumps haven’t been mentioned since the Paleozoic era.

[Heroin Crisis] Vermont governor: state has full-blown heroin crisis. When marijuana doesn’t do it for you anymore. Link

The Beatles – Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Friday is my second favorite F word.
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ribbon-cutting-event[New Mall Opens] Opening this weekend, Saturday and Sunday 8 am til 2pm. 10 story shopping Mall in Big Pine. We have a 7,000 square foot rooftop tiki bar, Walmart on the 9th floor, Target on the 8th floor, Best Buy on the 7th floor, Sears on the 6th floor, Publix on the 5th floor, Albertsons on the 4th floor, Macy’s on the 3rd floor, a Circus on the 2nd floor and on our 1st floor we have a few local mom and pop businesses and really good food. Oops. I drifted off a little there, thought I was in Colorado or somewhere else.

Just kidding about all those big city shopping stores, we don’t need them here with our endangered key deer, stock island tree snails, iguanas, sea turtles, endangered chicken hawks, bald eagles, egrets, salt water crocodiles, coconut mice, silver rice rats and protected marsh bunnies.

Come to Big Pine Key, take pictures of our wildlife and leave your footprints and get great bargains at the Flea Market. Saturday and Sunday 8am till 2 pm. We have all Mom and Pop businesses, good food, low prices and the friendliest people you will ever meet. 

1979 Chevy Z-28 Camaro. California car in Massachusetts 3 years. 4 speed, no rust or bondo, crate engine, new everything. Ask for John Classified Ads > Autos
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A rather, premature version of the camel toe song. (R rated). Video

[“Marketing Pot”] A long time ago I heard that the major tobacco companies had copyrighted all the cool reefer names like Panama Red and Columbian Gold.  All chronic pot heads probably know what they are, if you can still remember anything. 

Panama Red – New Riders of the Purple Sage


[“CT advertising cost”] Can anybody here do math? Fifty-two weeks a year at $19.95 a week is $1,037.40 not $957.60. Don’t even get me started on proper verb conjugation! (Ed: I beg to differ. This is the only subject that I know more than anyone else in the world does – ha. The trick is that we bill quarterly, 4 quarters to a year at $239.40 each quarter = $957.60 not the literal price. I corrected your figure because I didn’t want anyone to think advertizing cost any more than it does.

While I’m here I want to say thank you to all our visitors, regular and surfers. This month marks the twelfth year for the Coconut Telegraph and we still have the same advertising rates as day one. Not a very good business plan, but this is Big Pine after all.)

iv computer man

The next meeting of our computer club is coming up this Saturday, January 11, 10 am at the Senior Center.  This meeting will coincide with the annual health fair pre-registration. Because of the limited close-in parking, we have been asked to park out on Key Deer Blvd. or at the Baptist church.

[Bad Intent] My dream has been recurring for 12 years now. I win one of those half billion lotterys, buy that entire block of apartments across the street from the Casa Marina, advertise $100 a month apartments — with a few restrictions: Must have a Harley Must, love pitbulls and Rottys, and no one born north of Jacksonville. That should liven things up in that neighborhood on a Saturday night!

With one human family, incest is best!
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[Oh Oh Department] See how car thieves are getting in. This video should let you know how vulnerable you are. Some crooks are hitting the working people again with a gadget that’s so new, few police have heard of it. Until we have a fix, keep no valuables in your car. Video 
[“Legalize pot because it’s the largest cash crop in America”] This is what’s wrong with the majority of pot heads. They’re boring, predictable and lack any ability to see beyond one issue–dope. Using their logic Afghanistan and the Middle East should just legalize heroin because farmers grow nothing but poppies. 



O.Z. must be like Elvis. He supposedly died, and now he’s bringing girl power to Broward. I hope he is wearing something that matches his nail polish.

[Friday joke] A lady says to a priest, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
What do the say?” the priest asks
“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’”
“That’s terrible!, says priest, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parents. I have taught my birds to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your parrots will learn to pray and worship.”
The next day, the lady brings her parrots to the priest’s house. The two male birds are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her females in them with the birds immediately say, “Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?”
One male parrot looks over to the other one and screams, “Frank! Put the Bibles away, our prayers have been answered!”

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Went fishing, caught 4 deer. Link 

[Captain Doom and Gloom] The great payout to the poor is a joke and always was. All it was supposed to do is take wealth from the middle class and give it to the lower class so the lower class could buy more useless junk from the upper class manufacturers and importers and to minimize the middle class so they did not have enough money and power to overthrow the upper class. Every country is run the same way.
from the right

Strange things are happening in DC. It appears that Mr. Obama may actually be contemplating putting Conservative principles of governance in place to improve our moribund economy.

zoneRecently Senator Rand Paul (R KY) promoted legislation that would put special “Economic Freedom Zones” in various parts of the country.  These zones would see huge reductions in taxes and red tape and regulations so as to make the zones more attractive to businesses. Think of Florida, under Republican governance, writ large. Growing businesses means new jobs and tax revenue.

But now Obama is swiping Senator Paul’s initiative and will soon announce what he will label 5 areas in the US as “Promise Zones.” As in Senator Paul’s legislation, the zones will be more business friendly because of lower taxes, and relaxed regulations.  But Obama wants to pour in huge mounds of federal money in grants etc.

It is incredibly ironic that the “zone” idea was first put forward decades ago by Jack Kemp, a Conservative Republican. Kemp served as Housing Secretary in the administration of President George H. W. Bush from 1989 to 1993, having previously served nine terms as a congressman for Western New York’s 31st congressional district from 1971 to 1989. He was the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in the 1996 election, where he was the running mate of presidential nominee Bob Dole. Kemp’s zones proposal was to be dependent on financing by business interests, not federal grants.

One must wonder why in the hell don’t we just declare the entire US as being an “Economic Freedom Zone” or a “Promise Zone”. Let’s get the government the hell out of the way and release the power of capitalism to cure our economy.

duty10Part 2) The Robert Gates book is another s strange development in DC.  The  book, written by O’s former Sec. Def., Robert Gates, ”Duty”  is not yet released, but it is being flogged all over the airwaves.  All we’ve seen is comments by various talking heads who have read excerpts of the book. The truly damning claim by the talking heads is that both Clinton and Obama forged and implemented the Afghan “surge” strictly for political reasons. They opine that Clinton and Obama both thought that the surge would not work, further, that they both were/are convinced that we cannot prevail in Afghanistan, but continue to pursue the conflict because they saw it as being politically expedient. If true, that is a terribly damning condemnation of both of them. There can be no excuse for putting our military lives in harms way just to win political points. The talking heads further report that Clinton and Obama hold the military in disdain, and have little faith or trust in the military.

We will never be able to forget Hillary Clinton’s absolutely disgusting testimony about the Benghazi massacre:  “… the fact is we had 4 dead Americans. Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night who decided they’d go kill some Americans? What difference at this point does it make?” Look, if she doesn’t understand what “difference” it makes, she has no business being our Chief Executive.

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