2015 January

Friday, January 16, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

[“Winn-Dixie Appliances”] I’d rather have lower prices than a toaster I don’t need or want and Fuel Perks I don’t care about. I do want and care about low prices like Publix has. I paid $2.50 for one tomato last week at W/D (the damned thing was black inside in one segment). Who do they think they’re fooling with those giveaways?
[Paving] I can’t say as I’m real impressed with the contractor doing the paving on U.S. 1 in Summerland. The westbound lane, which was put down less than24 hours before, already has asphalt coming up resulting in potholes.
I just wanted to share a special event. I had the opportunity to witness and support my grandson’s birth at LKMS last night at 1:13 AM. My daughter Abi is a trooper, which I knew, but Beth Rodrigues, Anna and the labor nurse were the greatest! Beth, I’m forever in your debt for sharing your skills and gifts with my daughter.  ~Dr Paul
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boat2-15 boat1-15[Boat for sale] This is a former racing catamaran now set up to go anywhere in the back country with a 200 Yamaha mounted on a 12 inch CMC power jack plate. It’s 26 ft long and at its widest 9 feet with tons of deck space.  It might draw as little as 6 inches!  Final rigging needs to be finished, but  many things go with it and it is going to be a very unique and special boat for somebody. I will separate engine and jack plate if you only want the hull which also comes with a trailer. Best offer closest to $4000 takes it all. Come take a look – it’s awesome. It’s on Big Pine. Classified Ads > Boats
[Cuba] Starting today banks and credit card companies may now begin doing business in Cuba. Visitors may bring home up to $400 worth of souvenirs, including no more than $100 worth of alcohol and tobacco. Not being able to use credit cards has always been a problem when visiting Cuba, but no longer. Viva Obama!
slasher headless[Pelicans] Our community needs to be aware that there is someone catching and slicing the pouches of pelicans. This seems to be happening most frequently around Cudjoe and Summerland Keys. It results in a slow and cruel death to the birds as they can’t trap and eat. What motivates someone to do this is beyond sane thought. Fishermen, divers, boaters, beach combers, please watch for any suspicious activity around the brown pelicans. It may be an individual that is baiting them into a dock or a boat with fresh fish. Efforts are underway now to establish a reward for the apprehension and prosecution of this person. Again, please keep an eye out. Link
[“Grammar”]  Ya al must be an Engrush tracher eh? Golly Gee freakin’ wizz, you gotta have dem dar short in a big knott chickie du!
sumo wrestlers ready to fightI’ve never seen the TV drama “24” since it first came on the air, so I’ve caught up to season 2009 on the Audience channel. Why is it that Jack Bauer saves us from terrorists on every season and CTU and this government craps on him every time? Another thing that is common on every season is that our government has been in cahoots with every terrorist threat to the U.S. I guess 24 is trying to tell us something. But one thing for sure, Jack Bauer is a true American patriot. I would like to see a fight between Jack Bauer and MI-6’s James Bond, just to see who wins!
[Yard Sale] Our duplex sold so we are having a huge yard sale Saturday 1/17, 8am-1pm at 29643 Constitution Ave. Big Pine Key. Bikes, desk, furniture, out door furniture, girl/tot toys, girl/tot furniture, kitchenware, women’s clothes (variety of sizes), men’s clothes (size large), fishing gear, decor, wii with games, Playstation 2 with games, exercise ball, wooden dock ramp w/ stairs, sail boat, bar w/ 3 stools and lots, lots more!
radioshack logoIn response to the person asking if Radio Shack was still be open. We are open 7 days a week from 9AM to 7PM and 10AM to 4PM on Sundays. As far as the brown paper windows goes, Winn Dixie will be opening a liquor store next to us to make more room in their produce department. Beals plans on expanding as well, taking over the area where the laundry was located.Radio Shack has been broken into several times so, like a few other businesses in the shopping center, we now lock our hurricane shutters when we close at night. Radio Shack is here to stay. Thank you all for your business and we hope to see you soon!
[Lacking Information] “News Barometer, 1/16/15 edition, page 13’s full page ad for Big Pine & Lower Keys Rotary Club Super Sunday Spectacular Feb 1.”  No start time.  Does anyone proofread anymore? Do any of you have the start time? or when each of the 4 different bands will be playing?  Thank you.
[Corrosion] The door handles in my house are corroding just like the sink fixtures.  The problem is in the air.
Kathy Fasano makes the loop type pot holders, not the sewn, padded ones that were shown in yesterday’s CT. Kathy’ phone number is   305-744-9901.
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The Cicret Bracelet: Like a tablet, but projects on your skin. Look what they have developed in Israel. Video
We need to buy sugar from Cuba and stop giving government money to Florida sugar barons who are ruining the Everglades. Cuba has so much sugar farms that they close some of them. 1/2 price sugar from Cuba is the way to go. Tell Sen. Rubio to man up and do the right thing. Quit taking money from the sugar lobbyist . We know what’s going on Sen. Rubio, you shameful, dishonest public servant.
[Joke Friday] John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!” Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.
“How do you know this, Sister?”
“My Mother Superior told me so.”
“But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?”
“Don’t be ridiculous–of course I have never taken alcohol myself”
“Then let me buy you a drink – if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life”
“How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!”
“I’ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know.”
The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. “Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks”, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman “and could you put the vodka in a teacup?”
Barman replies: “Oh no! It’s not that Nun again is it?”
The Radio Shack at Winn Dixie Plaza is more than just another chain store, it performs a unique service to us residents. These are some of the things I’ve bought there or had them do recently:
1.Change the battery in my iPhone
2.Bought Ethernet cable for my computer
3.Bought surround sound module for my tv
4.Bought weird size battery for a motorized light switch
5.Bought cable to play my iPhone music through my guitar amplifier
6.Found a 1 to 3 electric outlet adapter with USB outlets built in
7.Changed a battery to an old remote I had which I couldn’t even open the battery cover!
Please patronize them as none of the above services and products are readily available anywhere else. I don’t want to see the dreaded brown paper on their windows!
[“Pelican torture”] The guy (it’s always a guy) who is slashing pelican’s pouches probably cuts the wings off flies too. If this were TV he would escalate to serial murder. Maybe he will!
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Good to see Fox News getting experts in–and an exclusive to boot!
[“Soldiers fight to stay alive”] John Wayne was a great actor, but that is what he was, an actor who never actually served. And in conflict, each man and woman serving is America. And yes, they are very concerned about saving their asses, and yes, we fought and fight for the mother country, and every man and woman that is next to us wearing the color of freedom. Maybe you should send Hollywood a letter spouting your movie observations. ~Marine (RET)
hareens 12.2.14
FTR tells us that it is the reader’s responsibility to check his facts when he is “doing everything he can” to bolster his position on something. Exactly how is one supposed to do that? When he goes on and on saying “My agency and I personally have successfully investigated and prosecuted cops, judges, public employees, and elected officials for crimes ranging from Murder 2 to petit larceny. I’ve also disciplined cops that worked under my supervision with punishments ranging from suspensions w/o pay, demotions, and ass chewings to firing.” Is he just “doing everything he can” to change our minds, or are all these unverifiable statements true? I guess we just have to take his word for it.
roach clip bobby pin
[“Pot holders”] Wow man, try a simple paper clip, tweezers, old fork, toothpick, etc. It dont take no barns to improvize, Dude!
[Animal Cruelty] Someone is baiting pelicans, slicing their pouches, and leaving them to die in pain and of starvation in Summerland Key and Cudjoe Key. If you see suspicious activity or have info leading to the sadist who is doing this, or if you find an injured bird, call Fish & Wildlife at 888-404-3922,
[Logical Fallacies That Fuel Anti-Science Sentiments] Except for the God part, another article about FTR’s twisted logic.  Link
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golf tee off club[Golf Tournament] The 23rd Annual Al Mueller Memorial Scholarship Golf Tournament to benefit Take Stock In Children presented by the Big Pine and Lower Keys Rotary Club Join us Sunday, January 25, 2015, 7:30 am start at the Key West Golf Course. $75 entry fee per person includes golf, lunch and good bag. Prizes on every hole. For more information contact Sheila Cantler Events
[Obama Directed 9/11 Attack] Many people are still condemning Muslims for the 9/11/2001 terrorism. You all have an internet connection, so why not use it for something besides gaming and dispelling hate and fear based on ignorance. You need to look a lot closer to home to know the truth about 9/11. I dare you to watch this whole video of evidence. It is just one of many available. Let’s see which conspiracy theory you believe afterward. Of course, some would still believe that a Boeing passenger jet over 100 feet wide can fit through a 16 foot hole in the Pentagon’s steel reinforced concrete walls without leaving wreckage and without even breaking the windows beside the hole. I wonder how long that tooth has been laying under their pillow waiting for the fairy? Video
When RadioShack files for bankruptcy business will continue as usual. Bankruptcy usually means protection from creditors while the corporation gets it’s s**t together and reorganizes.
I wonder what she was arrested for?
[“Winn-Dixie Appliances”] I’m glad to hear that we are going to get the appliance of our choice via a rain check. I bet that will be interesting when they all arrive all at once. I worked hard to get those 60 points and started checking daily because the cashier said “any day”. Finally, Monday I saw the Director and Assistant Director together so I inquired. They said that they had a small supply coming in and the truck it would come in on would be Tuesday or Thursday, so check Wednesday or Friday morning. Imagine my surprise when I quit checking and walked into the store Tuesday afternoon and saw the empty pallets. Customer Service said they were put out at lunch and disappeared quickly. Oh well, hope they come in soon and they call or email when they do arrive.
[Respect] Those of you who demand your Christianity be respected had better respect any and all other religious beliefs. Otherwise label yourselves as hypocrites. If I’m not mistaken, hypocrisy is a huge Christian sin. Those who live in glass houses …
gangster shoot tommy gun
[“Grammar” There should be a more clear plural of ‘you’. I suggest ‘youse’”] The poster must not have spent much time in Chicago. “Youse guys” is heard with some frequency in daily conversation in cities with a large Italian population too.
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Key West Garden Club. 
Walk in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Ring the Peace Bell. Volunteer to help keep it most beautiful. Link
[“Ed: It’s because FTR is the toughest old bird I’ve ever met and he can handle just about anything anyone can throw at him”] B.S. Ed protects who he wants to protect, including Ed. How many of you CT readers, besides me, know Ed’s name and where he lives? How many of you CT readers, besides me, have had dinner with Ed and FTR and Mrs. FTR at FTR’s request, and Ed paid for it?FTR isn’t nearly as tough as Ed says. I liked FTR Mrs. FTR, even though I think most of the time FTR has his head where the sun don’t shine, because he don’t stick the Republicans up there in that dark place with the Democrats, twiddly dee, twiddly dumb.

Maybe Ed protects FTR’s anonymity because he knows some left-wing liberal will try to blow up FTR’s car or house. Maybe Ed doesn’t publish email addresses of people who attack FTR because he knows some Neo will blow up the outed FTR basher’s car or home. If you don’t think those kind of people read the CT, then you must have just started reading it, or you aren’t paying attention.

[“FTR’s comment to “Monday’s critic” re: NYPD work slowdown”] I cannot believe (but do) how immature you are. You twisted my point about the work slowdown. The work slowdown happening in NYC pertains to traffic, parking, and other non-violent crime activity. That is what I meant when I said these violation’s fines help pay their salaries. Your snotty retort telling me to call the ACLU and not the police when I am in danger proves my point. I don’t know where you’re originally from, but what DiBlasio was referring to was how his son should behave when approached by the police. Maybe you can explain why an officer harassed a taxi driver (who was black) when he was parked in front of my house waiting for me to come outside saying to him, “You can’t park here and move along.” He was parked legally as parking is allowed on the entire street. You are just as immature as the behavior being displayed by NYPD. It is proof of the typical attitude of law enforcement, current and retired, that they can do no wrong and the rest of us are always wrong. I’m sure if you were, or have ever been pulled over, or had a complaint filed against you, the first thing you do is to whip out your police credentials and badge. I repeat myself: Shame on you and those who think like you.
vulture family buzzard
[Turkey Vultures] I finally thought of a way to stop these filthy birds from roosting on my roof like they do almost every morning. I’m buying a cheap drone to shoo them off. Woo hoo!
[Bird Killers] Hard to believe anyone would brag about feeding feral cats.
[“Grammar”]   The plural of you is yiz. Any of yiz that are doubtful, well, yiz need to look it up afore there is an homicide.
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Florida Keys Electric Cooperative lofo
[Keys Energy] I’m not sure why I have taken the time to respond. Florida Keys Electric Cooperative has been serving the Upper and Middle Florida Keys since 1940. We are a member owned, not-for-profit electric utility.
It is my belief the CRWS project is not only in conflict with NEPA but is also in direct conflict with the Endangered Species Act (ESA) and the Coral Reef Conservation Act (CRCA).  If Dump the Pumps intends to seek injunctive relief via NEPA, I  would recommend any concerns regarding the ESA and CRCA be included as supportive of NEPA non-compliance and focusing on these as areas of major concern.If Injunctive relief for NEPA violations is not sought through the federal courts by Dump the Pumps, then a political agenda may be an alternative.  Senator Bill Nelson is very supportive of the CRCA and in 2013 sponsored the reauthorization of the Act.  His office may be very supportive from a political perspective and may be compelled to ask very hard questions of the EPA, NOAA and USFWS agencies regarding their legal and management responsibilities under NEPA as it relates to the CRWS.  This option may force reluctant agencies to initiate and fund a major EIS while at the same time issuing a “federal” stop work order by an agency and not the courts.  Please note that no part of a project can continue if one area (i.e. Key Deer Refuge) has environmental impact concerns or is undergoing an EIS study.

Another potential option is to ask Timothy O’Hara, Keys West Citizen’s environmental reporter, the following questions:  “Have the EPA, USFWS and NOAA been negligent in meeting their legal and environmental management responsibilities in the Florida Keys?”  Mr. O’Hara may very well latch onto this an investigate it further due to the CRWS controversy and the revelation that federal agencies are mandated by law to assure a project such as CRWS does not impact the environment – especially since federal funding, federal lands and federal sanctuaries are involved and potentially impacted.

From my perspective local and state politics are heavily influencing any actions regarding Dump the Pump concerns and are pushing your rock back down the hill.  Approaching the Dump the Pump challenges of the CRWS project by going through the federal government may trump the local and state political influence and actually help you get the rock back up and over the hill and save the Florida Keys from future environmental damage.  Again, an EIS will ascertain the potential for environmental damage that may result from the CRWS.

baklava15[Yard Sale] Multi-Family Yard Sale & Bake Sale – Saturday, January 17th 8 am to 12 noon. Royal Palm RV Park, 163 Cunningham Lane on Big Pine Key. Turn at the Big Pine Motel & Keys Café (formerly the Cracked Egg) and go 3 block to Pilots Court. We are a block North of the Vineyard Church on Palmetto. This is a multi-family sale and includes a bake sale with baklava.
[“Fighting for your country”] Yeah, John Wayne and his patriotic speeches. Too bad he only played a soldier in movies and never really was one.
RadioShack prepares bankruptcy filing. Struggling electronics chain, in talks with lenders, could file as soon as next month. Link
crossing guardMy apologies to all crossing guards for comparing them to FTR. I don’t believe that the terms homicide and heart attack would be used in a medical examiners report about the same person, but who knows? FTR has a handy dandy Readers Digest dictionary for him to use in his legal interpretation of the law. I do have to wonder why these officers, the ones who did nothing wrong, are so afraid of going on trial. After all, nothing wrong, nothing to fear. Right?
The other thing is that I never said that he didn’t investigate police officers. What I meant was that he never brought action against a fellow officer on his own. I am sure that he did what the higher-ups told him to do, and that included investigating lots of people. That was his job. I’m sure that he followed orders. But If he did it on his own he would have been known as a rat to most of the force.
Keep living in your dream world, FTR, stretch those definitions so that they will mean whatever you want them to mean. I am sorry that I upset you so much. I hope that I have been civil enough to you in this post.
[Fighting For Your Country] Those guys are not fighting for their butts or their country, they are fighting for this planet to keep a bunch of greedy crazies from turning it into Orwell’s 1984. Do not kid yourself, this is conquest of the entire planet by totally sick people who will eat you and control you forever if you allow them to. This NWO has nothing to do with freedom or sanity, it is all about culling the crap and allowing the egomaniacs in power to rule completely. Lock and load, it may be our last chance to defend ourselves!
Complete Captain Morgan outfit. Jacket, pants (size 38 but jacket hides), wig, shirt, hat $15 Call  Classified Ads > Miscellaneous
I will give the left one thing, they are loud. Misguided & loud. Keep up the good work FTR, Blessing to you and yours
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The world is uniting , marching, hand in hand over the fight to halt terrorism. Our President is letting known terrorist go free from Gimo. Shame on you President Obama.
Flat Earth Society speech.
from the right
No FTR today (sigh).