2013 January

Friday, January 25, 2013

(SaturdayJanuary 26, 2013 The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays)

an_bill-fall$1.2 million  settlement of BP money is coming to the Keys! That money should go towards paying off the sewers, but the money has to go to coastal restoration projects. I need a new dock and seawall. 

[Crooks] A Pompano Beach contractor has been charged by the feds for taking bribes for a road construction project along U.S.1 in Marathon designed to improve traffic flow that began in 2009. 




[Son of Crook] Masked robber Brandon Druckemiller, 26, remains in jail waiting for the good fairy to post his $2,000,000 bond. Brandon’s mother is the County’s iPad crook who’s also awaiting trial. Son of Thief looks a bit crazy in this Citizen photo.

[Dye Died] A 56-year-old Ohio man who ran that state’s crime lab died diving offshore Key Largo Wednesday morning, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Ronald Dye of Grove City, Ohio, was director of the Bureau of Criminal Investigation laboratory.




[Final Report] Cause of Cessna 182Q Air Crash in Cudjoe Key on 4/20/2007. Link

[Disability Claim] It took 1 1/2-2 years to get my disability claim. It’s not free money we are getting, it’s money we paid in through years of employment, FICA etc. It’s basically early retirement, we are not becoming rich. And the other thing is I still have chronic back problems with limited mobility, it hasn’t cured that. Days missed from work, years of medical records from both chiropractors an doctors, MRI’s etc are all required as evidence. You get turned down three times and then you go before a social security admin judge for a hearing. Mine actually reminded me more of an interrogation. Anyway it was a long, at times, frustrating journey. I always envied people making the big bucks “under the table”, but in the long haul paying all my wage deductions paid off The more years you paid in the bigger your SS check.


Did you vote for the present state attorney?  Unhappy with decisions that office is making? Blame everybody who voted the D line for state atty in the general.  Also blame-able are those D’s who did not vote Ward in the primary.

The bigger question is, who are you going to vote for in the next state atty election?  Fast forward – nobody except the current state atty is going to run. The inequities will continue until another voter revolt.  All this bitching and complaining accomplishes nothing.



[For Sale] Shotgun shell reloader. Please call Classified Ads

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I am totally flexible.




Fishing tip #1. Don’t take the cat fishing.

The folks at Venture Out are dropping $3,000,000 into the sewer thingee. They have built & operated their own sewer plant for 40 years.

[Working Girls] Most women are unhappy, if not now they will be for whatever reason. It makes much more sense to rent them so when they start to give a man trouble, just trade them in for a new one, or better still just get a dog; always faithful and loving to the end and will never change.



You might think organic food would cost less than conventional food since the production is spared the cost of the chemicals, synthetic pesticides, and antibiotics. Yet organic products typically cost 20 percent to 100 percent more than their conventionally produced equivalents.

If you’re part of that majority, you’ve probably wondered what’s behind that cost.

No chemicals, more labor. Conventional farmers use all of those chemicals and synthetic pesticides because they end up reducing the cost of production by getting the job done faster and more efficiently. Without them, organic farmers have to hire more workers for tasks like hand-weeding, cleanup of polluted water, and the remediation of pesticide contamination.

I still hate paying more for it. 

[“Blocking Boat Ramp-maybe offering a little help or helpful advice”] If the poster had understood the words of the original post they might have understood that no offer of help would have been accepted as the offending parties was a “captain”. You try telling an elderly “captain” how to launch his boat, not me!

I assist snowbirds often if I think they need it and if they will allow me to help. Most any boater will help another boater. The couple blocking the ramp were oblivious to others. 





[Slavery book] It was . I didn’t cite the book because it is a novel and figured you coco-nuts would criticize the content because of that. Walter Mosley is Black himself and an impeccable researcher and I believe the details he injects into his books. It’s in the library.

[More bar wisdom] I’ll never use online dating. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. Through alcohol and poor judgment.   

[Cats Are Evil] Why New Zealand is right to consider banning them in order to save its wildlife. Link





On this day in 1533, King Henry VIII of England married Anne Boleyn. The marriage didn’t go well and Hank cut off her head.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, They each had a buck and a quarter,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Jill came down with two and a half,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              They didn’t go up for water.



[The origin of the word Boob] The “B” is the aerial view, the “oo” is the front view, the “b” is the side view.

Submergence explores immersion and interaction within volumetric light based visuals. Trippy! Link

Lawsuit filed to force plan to save Fla.’s threatened corals. Link 

Slider recipes. Size matters. Link

What is Obama’s last name. does anybody know?


Well, it’s already started.  Less than a month into her term, State Attorney Vogel’s office has dismissed serious charges against a member of a well connected Keys family.  I guess if you’ve lived here all your life and your family is politically influential, it’s okay to be responsible for the death of a teen age girl.

I suspect nearly all of us will be missing Dennis Ward before this whole thing is over.




Dear friends suffering in the north. It’s time!

I saw a couple of funny boat names this week:
Record Sea-Ker
Rest A Shore
Chirrosis of the River

an cruise 3 day



Pier House is for sale. Any guess as to which of the cruise ship corporations will buy it as their own destination resort property? Just a thought because it is very common in Alaska that they own the tourist attractions.

I knew flipper Eddy back in the early to mid 80’s.

I remember Flipper Eddie, but only from seeing him riding his bike toward U. S. 1. A friend who used to live here, John Reid, told me he that saw him head butt a guy in the stomach in some local bar. I heard that he, like some local guy George, who had a leg amputated at the knee in Viet Nam got murdered after they moved to Costa Rica.

Was Flipper the guy who lived here in BPK? He was small of statue and had short arms. He fixed bicycles. The last time I saw him, which was years ago, he was preparing to move to Puerto Rico.

Lower Keys Property Owners Association pot luck and members’ meeting on Monday, February 4. For more info Bulletin Board

an tea partyOn this date in 1787, Shay’s Rebellion broke out in  central and western Massachusetts. The rebellion was named after Daniel Shays, a veteran of the American Revolutionary War and one of the rebel leaders.

The rebellion started on August 29, 1786. It was precipitated by several factors: financial difficulties brought about by a post-war economic depression, a credit squeeze caused by a lack of hard currency, and fiscally harsh government policies instituted in 1785 to solve the state’s debt problems. Protesters, including many war veterans, shut down county courts in the later months of 1786 to stop the judicial hearings for tax and debt collection. The protesters became radicalized against the state government following the arrests of some of their leaders, and began to organize an armed force. A militia raised as a private army defeated a Shaysite (rebel) attempt to seize the federal Springfield Armory in late January 1787, killing four and wounding 20. The main Shaysite force was scattered on February 4, 1787, after a surprise attack on their camp in Petersham, Massachusetts. Scattered resistance continued until June 1787, with the single most significant action being an incident in Sheffield in late February, where 30 rebels were wounded (one mortally) in a skirmish with government troops.

I hope history doesn’t repeat itself with the present day Tea Party and other militia-type gun nuts.

fine-woodworking-ad 1.7.13

[Howard Livingston] Last night started with the best of intentions on my part. My plan was to sit down and write a short newsletter from the porch, have dinner with my lovely wife and perhaps finish a few tasks she had been asking me to complete. (Changing bulbs, fix stuck door etc.) As I started writing and staring at the ocean I soon realized the sun was probably going to set prior to completion of my informal memorandum. With this new important information at hand, I realized a decision had to be made. Do I continue writing or stop midstream to enjoy our daily ritual, open a bottle of wine, grab a couple glasses and get front row seats for the evening light show. Well, as you probably guessed the sunset and wine won out and I never got back to writing or any of those important responsibilities.

Once settled in our yellow chairs, Cynderella and I were treated to an incredible sky as the sun made its way into the ocean. I love sunsets, they bookend the day and somehow touch my soul. No two are ever the same but each one is beautiful. However, once in a while they take your breath away.  These usually happen in the winter months for some reason. Last night was one of those treats, a painted sky that no artist could ever reproduce. Then as quickly as it illuminated the clouds and the ocean, it disappeared.

firepit25At that point I still had the opportunity to do something constructive but instead decided to come to the aid of my Cynderella. Sitting in her chair I could tell she was a little chilly, so I threw on some logs and lit up the fire pit. The evening somehow just slipped away.

Dinner turned out being a raid of the refrigerator for anything already cooked and edible. Smilin’ Bob’s fish dip, leftover ribs, turkey sausage, cheese etc. However, I have to say that was one of our best meals in a long time. A warm fire, the dogs, Cynderella and a winter sunset, it just does not get any better than that.

Tonight,Friday January 25th, Sugarloaf KOA Resort  7:00 PM. Join us for a party at one of our favorite spots. This show is free and open to the public. Also come hungry cause they will have the grills fired up. They also have a great full bar. Sugarloaf KOA 251 County Road 939 (turn at mile marker 20 ocean side) Sugarloaf Key, FL.

Our Schedule Link

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, screw it, soldier on!

mars25[Mars Rover Update] Life expectancy 3 months, still rolling 9 years later! On January 25 (UT) 2004, the Opportunity rover fell to Mars, making today the 9th anniversary of its landing. After more than 3,200 sols (Mars solar days) the golf cart-sized robot from Earth is still actively exploring the Red Planet, though its original mission plan was for three months. Having driven some 35 kilometers (22 miles) from its landing site, Opportunity’s panoramic camera recorded the segments of this scene, in November and December of last year. The digitally stitched panorama spans more than 210 degrees across the Matijevic Hill area along the western rim of Endeavour Crater. Features dubbed Copper Cliff, a dark outcrop, appear at the left, and WhitewaterLake, a bright outcrop, at the far right. The image is presented here in a natural color approximation of what the scene would look like to human eyes. Link

[Lame Duck Legislation] Travel to Cuba will resume. Bet on it during the 7th year Obama is in charge.

an_nickle2 (2)




[Plastic Bags] In Italy they charge 5 cents per bag at checkout, problem solved. People bring their own.

Druckemiller – The guy apparently has a drug problem, unsuccessfully tries to rob a couple of places with a mask on and gets a $2mil bond.

Mearns – According to a police report published in the press, “it is critical to note that Ms. Kogelis was under the supervision of Mr. Mearns as she was operating the Ford. The cause of this crash and the subsequent death of Amber R. Kogelis come to bear on Michael Randall Mearns by acting with reckless indifference by allowing Amber R. Kogelis, a minor, to operate a motor vehicle while [she was] under the influence of alcohol, thereby causing her death.” 

A person dies while this adult, who may have contributed to the delinquency of a minor by allowing her to drink and then drive; and who is said to have acted with “reckless indifference”, walks!

Where is FDLE? Where is the State of Florida? I wonder the outcome had this case been sent to another jurisdiction. Monroe County needs to be investigated from top to bottom and the corruption stopped.

Springers-Prime-Rib00     Doerfels-at-Springers

Prime Rib Dinner    Live Music


I once won an argument with a woman … in this dream I had.


A recent sale in Venture Out was for $525,000. Trailer trashy? I don’t think so.

I just finished taking the home MENSA test from the other day. 63 out of 70 just at the button for “you may want to consider actually testing for mensa”. I would not relish being the dumbest, person in the smart people club. Link



Remember the most recent “school shooting”?  The one at Lone Star Community College?  Have you wondered why the media lost interest so quickly?  Here’s the two in custody for that incident; both 22, unemployed, not students of the college, with criminal histories, armed in a “gun free zone”.  One of them “bumped into”, literally, another young man, also with a criminal history, and an argument followed, with the results turning into the (temporary) headline about another school shooting.  A maintenance man, there doing his job, was the other gunshot victim, and a female student was hospitalized for an anxiety attack.  The media couldn’t find a useful angle, so they dropped it.





[Well Armed Militia] Assault weapon collectors do so in case they ever have to kill an American soldier or American policeman. 

[Free Download] Facebook gives you an unfiltered platform to say whatever you want. That sort of freedom opens you up to posting things you might want to forget later. That’s not even mentioning the bizarre things your friends might post. Wiping those from your Facebook page takes plenty of time and effort. Facewash can do the work for you, though. It combs your Facebook page for questionable posts and status updates and then deletes them with one click. Link  


DressCodeCaptain Doom and Gloom] Ever notice, the more commercials they push in our faces, the dumber we are getting? 5 minutes of program and 15 minutes of BS commercials, what happened to the FCC rules and laws?

Why do you need a Concealed Carry Permit when the Law says it is legal to wear open holsters with firearms?

What other weapons need permits to carry? Swords, knives, clubs, spears, bows & arrows, martial arts, shockers, sprays, Bikinis?

What ever happened to all the end of the world Maya jokes and stories? What’s next, the Sun exploding the day after St. Patrick’s Day with a hangover? The advertisers will figure something to grab viewers to buy their products.

Slavery. What the world was like before Unions came.

Welfare. What the world is like after Unions went.

Fat Albert is going, going … , but who cares? With all the satellites that can read your fingerprints from 250 miles up, day or night, what do we need drug traffic radar for anymore?

“Unhappy Women” This happens when man’s manhood is cut off at the stump and men’s guts are ripped out by lawyers and divorce courts and priests and governments and sissies in power and other nice ways to castrate men who would be men again if given the right to be, by woman. Yes, guys it is your fault that women are running crazy, totally frustrated and close to doing without us altogether. We let this happen because men gave in to the marketing whims and political moves of losers who couldn’t get any. Want control again? Want a home with a real wife and real kids that obey you? Better move to Iran, cause it is not going to happen in the good old US of A!

Do you know why all homes in the Keys have two or more bathrooms? Ever dine out down here?

I peeked into the Country Wild Life Refuge and all I saw were a bunch of terminally hung-over locals!

It’s Season and the R/S values are going up again, but just wait until April when they crash again!

People still FAX, which went out with Broderick Crawford back in 1955. Try email people, it works and attachments do not harm your computer unless you screw up and do not keep your virus software up to date daily and email does not cost you stupid fees and trees.

Is there a con game going on with real estate lately?  All this auction stuff leads to no where it seems. Some wind up being a legal manipulation of the laws so the banks or property owners can play the tax or loan games.  



Maybe this will get FTR to finally understand what I have been attempting to tell him.. if it doesn’t, he isn’t in any reality known to living man, and no, FTR., you can’t blame President Obama any further. Link 

an up stock



[Stocks Rise] I wonder how FTR will blame Obama for the stock markets fantastic rise. Good news for him to be bitter about.

an wedgie




What’s got Mr FTR so riled over the news media not listing New Orleans’ ex-mayor Nagin’s political affiliation and political history in their reports about his arrest? His history has nothing to do with his corruption. Most politicians are corrupt on both sides of the aisle. Nagin’s political party or beliefs had nothing to do with the story. Get a grip, sir.


right only grey

Deer Friends, this is absolutely incredible, but it is incredibly true.  Biden, in the video linked here, tells the world that a shot gun is a much better killing machine than is a so called “assault rifle”.  You’ve got to see and hear it to believe it. Link

Y’know asking Joe Biden about home security makes about as much sense as asking Hillary Clinton about embassy security.

an_collection-platePart 2) The liberals/Democrats/progressives amongst us have convinced themselves that Republicans are evil, greedy, old people.  But what does the evidence show? First let’s take a look at philanthropy: According to U.S. Census data the eight states where residents gave the highest share of income to charity went for John McCain in 2008. The seven-lowest ranking states supported Barack Obama. The study found that a key factor in charitable giving is religion. Regions of the country that are deeply religious are more generous than those that are not.

Yep: Red states – Republican-voting states – are more generous than blue states – Democratic-voting states.

But what of the snide liberal grin that Republicans are all olde farts?  The theme of that puerile nonsense is that as one ages, one loses the ability to reason. The facts don’t support that contention.  Last year Pew did a study that the average age of Republicans is only 2 years older for Reps than Dems (49.7/47.7)

Now, let’s examine some facts about the candidates in the recent Presidential election that might shed some light on their personal greed. Greed: Rich businessman Mitt Romney gave more than 16% of his income to charity last year. Before he became a Presidential aspirant, Barack and Michelle Obama gave less than 1% of theirs. Aren’t Republicans supposed to be the heartless ones? According to their tax returns, the Obamas gave to charitable causes just $10,772 of the $1.2 million they earned from 2000 through 2004. In 2005 and 2006, they boosted their giving a bit to 5%. How about Vice President Joe Biden? Surely he could top the Obamas and save some face for the party that purports to be all about helping the poor. But no.

Biden and his wife gave an average of $369 a year to charity for the decade preceding his vice presidency.  Mrs. Veep Biden is a very successful surgeon. That amounted to 0.3% of their income. They haven’t been much more generous since Biden became veep. In 2010, they gave $5,350, or roughly 1.4%.

Let’s examine some facts about personal giving. Arthur Brooks, the author of a book on donors to charity, “Who Really Cares,” cites data that households headed by conservatives give 30 percent more to charity than households headed by liberals. A study by Google found an even greater disproportion: average annual contributions reported by conservatives were almost double those of liberals. The upshot is that Democrats, who speak passionately about the hungry and homeless, personally fork over less money to charity than Republicans. 

Conservatives also appear to be more generous than liberals in non financial ways. People in red states are considerably more likely to volunteer for good causes, and conservatives give blood more often. If liberals and moderates gave blood as often as conservatives, Mr. Brooks said, the American blood supply would increase by 45 percent.

Earlier this year, Bank of America and the Institute on Philanthropy of Indiana University published their annual survey about charitable giving among high-net-worth households and found that faith in the government to help society was rather limited. Of the respondents, 91 percent said they trusted nonprofits’ ability to solve societal problems. Only 56 percent trusted the federal government to do so.

The Democrats wail that Republicans are rich-greedy predators of the poor. But is that true?  The facts say no! The Top 3 “richest” people in the country are all Democrats. This list includes: Bill Gates, Warren Buffett & Larry Ellison are all Democrats. Together, they are worth $126 Billion Dollars.  An analysis of the Top 20 Richest People in America (from Forbes Top 100) reveals that a full 60% are actually Democrats. Furthermore, if you look at it from a “family” point of view and not as individuals, that ratio widens even further to:  25% Republican / 75% Democrat. Further analysis of the “20” list shows that Democrats are a lot more stingy with their money when it comes to campaign contributions. Republicans coughed up $5.2 million while Democrats squirted out only $2.1 Million. In this Top 20 group, Democrats have a combined net worth of $263.1 billion dollars while the Republicans have a combined net worth of only $143.9 billion dollars – almost half that of Democrats.

So the next time you hear some Liberal regurgitate the “Evil Rich Republican” donkey dung, remind them and everyone around, that it is the Democrats who are those “Evil Rich People”, not the Republicans. Then stand back and watch their head spin.

Respectfully submitted: