2014 July

Friday, July 18, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

I just heard on the radio that Seahorse Campground is closing down and everyone will have to move out soon. Now where will I go to buy my ‘party’ supplies?
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[Johnny Winter Dead] Master of the slide guitar. Arguably this is the best album he ever made playing a Grand National steel guitar!

Johnny Winter – The Progressive Blues Experiment

I was coming to the last marker on Kemp Channel, Oceanside, last evening going about 30 mph in a 21 foot boat when I got yelled at by the captain of a 50’ yacht barely making way (at first I thought he was stopped at the channel entrance and I slowed down). I don’t think my little boat was capable of making a big enough wake to harm him so what was he yelling at? His yacht appeared to be filled with youthful reef-huggers and I suspect the captain was trying to impress them.

Around here there are different local customs in addition to the Rules Of The Road (just like on local roads it’s okay to drive 5 mph over the speed limit. Everyone does it). Local rules prevail in this area because there are so many long channels that we drive back and forth that if we were to travel at no-wake speed It would take us the better part of an hour to go from the ocean to the Gulf instead of the fifteen minutes it takes while on a plane.

We all drive on plane in channels around here, even the Marine Patrol, unless of course there is a smaller boat that could be swamped or rocked by our wakes.

[Roofer From Hell] I used one of the businesses that appears in the Business Directory to do a minor roof repair and the result proved disastrous with substantial damage done and additional leaks.

Two roofers have since come to give bids on the damage and both stated the person who did the work was, at best, a hack and that the entire roof on my double carport will now need to be replaced (lowest bid was $4,800) because of the damage done. I have pictures that show the guy got tar on his shoes and tracked it across the roof, mangled the roof flashing on the house, and left a mess. One of the roofers told me that the “hack” has botched other jobs!

[Artificial Sweeteners] I’ve taken two Prilosec capsules a day to calm my stomach until I learned about artificial sweeteners. It’s been a couple of months since I replaced all sweeteners with agave sweetener and I no longer need to take the pills. Also the inflammation around my knee and elbow are completely gone. That is not a coincidence. I didn’t quite believe the person who told me about the sweeteners, but anything is better than pain so I tried it and it worked. It started working for my stomach after only a week and after about a month I noticed my joints were less troubling. Now after two months I feel like dancing!

Leo Sayer–I Feel Like Dancing

[Tragedy in the Sky] Ukrainian separatists shot down a Malaysian Airline Boeing 777 killing 298 souls including 18 children and 3 babies. This is the second airline disaster in just a few months for Malaysian Airline (still looking for MA370) and they had no way of avoiding either of them. I wonder what the world will say or do? Video
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rainbow flag waving[Same-Sex Marriage Ban Overturned] “This court is aware that the majority of voters oppose same-sex marriage, but it is our country’s proud history to protect the rights of the individual, the rights of the unpopular and the rights of the powerless, even at the cost of offending the majority. Whether it’s the NRA protecting our right to bear arms when the city of Chicago attempted to ban handguns within its city limits; or when Nazi supremacists won the right to march in Skokie, Ill. a predominantly Jewish neighborhood; or when a black woman wanted to marry a white man in Virginia; or when black children wanted to go an all-white school, the Constitution guarantees and protects ALL (emphasis his) of its citizens from government interference with those rights. All laws passed whether by the legislature or by popular support must pass the scrutiny of the United States Constitution, to do otherwise diminishes the Constitution to just a historical piece of paper.” ~Judge Luis Garcia (Keys Judge)
Thanks Deer Run B&B for the information on compost toilets, etc. We all agree that our county politicians are very self serving. we need to figure out how to get them replaced with caring people
This is the most dangerous animal in the world. It is responsible for millions of deaths every year. It’s man, not the Great White Shark!
[“Funeral Expenses”] The Mayor Cates post was another cheap shot. Prove to us that it’s true. If it was, did the burial expenses include a trip to wherever the homeless man came from or some other excessive expense?
This is election season so since there is no other reason for that post, it’s pretty clear that it’s purpose is to make Mayor Cates look bad. If that’s all you got, you made him look better to me.
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Fresh water
was brought down from the mainland in huge cisterns aboard the trains. We had one of the cisterns at the Lower Keys Chamber building for a long time in the 90’s while they were working on the concept of restoring the Maggie Attwel house.
So, yes, they did have, and use, fresh water for the construction of the bridges. There is no “conch-rete”.
[Malaysian Airline Murders] It’s no use watching TV today, all that’s on is the Ukrainians shooting down the civilian plane.
In the last election I had decided to vote for Danny Coll based on what I could find out about him. I changed my mind after reading things in the CT that I learned after the election were untrue. Now I see that the character assassination is starting again. You are not going to fool me again. If you want to say something about any candidate, don’t use insinuation. Say it up front and give some evidence or logic to support your statement. Attack ads and statements don’t belong in any election. The idea is to show that your candidate is a better fit for the voters. Negativity tells us more about you than it does about your victim.
[Johnny Winter Dead]
Blues musician who inspired John Lennon, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards dies aged 70. Link
[Joke Friday–The Dinner] She wanted to serve her guests mushroom – smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, “Why don’t you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?

“No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.”
“Well, I see squirrels eating them and they’re OK.”
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite. All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn’t affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success. After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, “Mom, Spot is dead.” Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, “That’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I’ll call for an ambulance and I’ll be there as quickly as I can.  We’ll give everyone enemas and we’ll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine.  Just keep them calm.”

Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road. The paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was done the doctor came out and said, “Everything will be okay now,” and with that he left.

The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mom, “I can’t believe that guy!”
“What guy?”

“You know, that one who ran over Spot; he never even slowed down.”

[Easements] Why is the easement to FKAA for the County’s sewer equipment installation on your property? Because it can be assigned (or sold) to anybody.  (Think Water Resources Technologies- the E-1 grinder distributor).  It seems likely to me that WRT will be doing all the service work at some point, regardless of who holds the easement. That seems to be how it has played in other communities. Maybe a revocable lease instead of an easement would be fairer.

I believe this easement and forced grinder pump is a property “taking” that can be the subject of a class action suit for damages. I am guessing it is worth about $60k each, and the privacy value might run it higher still. Is it then still not worth the extra bucks to go all gravity (or vacuum)? A win of a takings case would be a big income boost for a “consignment” attorney

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TGIF from Springers Bar and Grill. Today we have a couple specials, ceviche with chips and mahi mahi with a mango curry cream sauce. So delicious you won’t want to choose so have both for the perfect dinning experience.
really hot sauce

We have another special going on because that crazy Texan, Springer, is always up to something. He loves things hot and spicy and now he’s added xxx hot sauce for his famous buffalo wings. He challenges anyone to try it — if you dare! If you can eat 10 of these fiery hot wings, like you’re suppose to, with your hands, no utensils, he will give you a free drink of your choice to wash it down. Who’s up for the challenge?

Tonight we also have our karaoke dance party with DJ Nick. So join us to sing and dance the night away under the stars. There’s always something special at Springer’s!

[“Hunter S Thompson quote”] I thought everyone’s favorite ladies man, Ben Franklin, put a clause in the Declaration of Independence that any man could vote. Other founders only wanted property owners to vote, like in the ‘old country’.
RIP Johnny Winter 1944-2014. I’m going to miss those nimble fingers and riffs.
an_rocket long[Kid gets tooth pulled by rocket] Why women don’t let us men take care of the children. Video
[“Conch-rete”] In the old days the life of concrete, generally speaking, was 100 years to fully harden and another 100 years to deteriorate to powder. Modern concrete is much improved
The Key West Golf Course Homeowners Association will be hosting a Mayoral Candidates Question and Answer Forum on Tuesday, July 29th at 6:30pm. This event is open to all citizens of Key West.

The Forum will be held at the Key West Golf Course’s clubhouse. There will be a cash bar available and the event is anticipated to last approximately 90 minutes.

Jenna Stauffer of WEYW-TV, the co-host and co-producer of “Good Morning Florida Keys with Rick and Jenna”, will act as moderator for the Forum. She will field questions from the floor. All the Candidates will answer each question. This will be a great way for the people of Key West to learn where each candidate stands on a particular issue and their views for the future of Key West.

All three candidates have been invited to participate. Candidates Sloan Bashinsky and Margaret Romero have accepted the invitation to participate. The Homeowners Association was disappointed to learn today that Mayor Cates declined the invitation, citing a conflict with “previous engagements”.

For further information please contact the Key West Golf Club HOA at Link

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diet soda18[“Sweeteners”]There are now artificial sweeteners that are so powerful that they can be added to products in quantities small enough that they do not need to be listed on the label. But they are still powerful and toxic.
Studies have shown that aspartame sweetened drinks actually increase weight gain more than sugar sweetened. Did you ever wonder why the big companies advertise just the diet versions of their drinks? It’s because the chemicals are cheaper than sugar.
There are rules when captaining a boat. The vessel “In Denial”, a go-fast boat appximately 28 ft. and running 3 big, black outboards, needs a refresher course! I believe it came out of Venture Out Resort. You, sir, are an accident waiting to happen. You are reckless and very capable of doing a great deal of damage. Think about what you’re doing, skipper. You have a big, fast boat, don’t run it like kid.
[Water Fee] I have been eating at BP coffee shop for over 20 years, but not in the last few months. I’ve been told that they now charge 50 cents for a glass of water. Is this true? It’s not because I’m cheap, I always tip 20%+. I just prefer water.
past due18[County Loses Lawsuit] So the County has agreed to pay $45,000 in damages to Stand Up For Animals (SUFA). They’re trying to couch it as a “business decision”, but don’t kid yourself, how many plaintiffs ever offer a settlement to a defendant in a lawsuit? None, that I’ve ever heard of. They filed the suit and yet they are the ones who end up paying the cash. We really shouldn’t be surprised, though, I guess. If you read the depositions of Dent Pierce (Head of Public Works) and County Manager Roman (Get-me-an-iPhone) Gastesi it’s obvious that they have no clue about what went on when a Commissioner went on the campaign against SUFA.

Hopefully, this will bring an end to one of the most shameless witch hunts in county history. It could almost be amusing except for the fact that it’s our money they are paying out.

Johnny Winter dying at 70 proves that heroin doesn’t kill. Only heroin overdoses kill.
Having ascertained that the belief in Atheism is indeed a religion, would the poster posting that ‘religion is an attempt to control the masses’ also apply this interpretation to Atheism?
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an_mosquito5[Mosquito Virus] Health officials are reporting that for the first time, U.S. mosquitoes are spreading a virus that has been tearing through the Caribbean. Two people in West Palm Beach, Florida have domestically-acquired chikungunya (chik-en-GUN-ye) infections, officials said Thursday. In both cases, they said, a person infected with the virus after visiting the Caribbean was then bitten again by an uninfected mosquito in Florida, which then transmitted the illness further.
[“Conch-rete”] The old Seven Mile Bridge’s concrete wasn’t from Germany, however the engineer who did the formulation was. His name was Chrome as in Chrome Ave in Homestead. Where there is steel in the columns you can see the bleed through. Originally the old bridges were to be removed to restore water flow. The formulation is so hard that the destruction of most of the old bridges was abandoned. The made up reason was that they could be re-purposed as fishing bridges. The real reason was that they were too expensive to remove with the concrete having had over ninety years to cure to an incredible hardness.
[“Gaza City–Arabs sitting around hating Jews”] Sounds more like a New York City cab stand
[Getting ink in the early 1940’s] Obviously you had to strip down to your underwear to help with the blood circulation!
[Religion] Their are many folks that seems religion is all they have and it brings many of those souls, many in squalid circumstances, a measure of comfort. So why do some others seem to take such delight in destroying perhaps their only source of hope.

Atheism being declared a religion, by our courts via a  set of beliefs (a belief in no supreme being is a belief) it can be construed as one religion versus another. If kept on this plane could make for an interesting conversation, could it not?

[Eating Bugs, Etc] Disturbing facts you wish you didn’t know. Video
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[No Name Key Bum Seats] First the power poles, now public seating! These were not here yesterday morning. This is where Watson dead ends at the big rocks.
[“No Rebar in old bridges”] Than what are those rusted steel things poking through the conch-rete on the Old Seven Mile Bridge?
[Government] Here are some of the many different kinds of government you can choose from. Good luck. Link
[Peter Anderson Dies of Cancer] CRN is the Conch Republic Navy, of which I am proudly “Commander RoyBoy”. Read the Keynoter article that gives details of “Sir Peter” and a brief story of the Conch Republic. Sir Peter will be sorely missed by all Conchs, and all who ever met him. Condolences to my fellow members of the CRN. Link
If the court of public opinion is that FTR is an old, white, and racist, he is okay with that. Would he not require the accusers of proof? I would. I prefer the justice system to ferret out the guilty rather than us old white guys with way too much time on our hands.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
[“Illegals”] That was a cute story about senior citizens that a poster used to make his point about illegal immigrants getting Federal benefits. The problem is, the seniors were wasting their time because that whole right wing story about illegals getting benefits is untrue. No? Turn off Fox News and read this link from Mario Rubio. Link
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[Russians] I had a high-end charter business in KW a few years ago and was chartered several times by wealthy Russians. Of all the foreigners I took out, they were the most demanding and arrogant people. They say there are two groups of Russians, the poor and the rich. The rich think that there s**t doesn’t stink. I do not want anything to do with Russia. I wish the U.S. would impose everything possible to not do business with them.
A good site to price hotels and motels for traveling, but as always, call the hotel for their direct lowest price deal and the room details you need, or else get what they give you! Link.
[Joke Friday] Mexicans taking back the Southwest. A U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?” One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, “We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800’s.”

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.

When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, “Just the four of you?” The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, “No, we’re the last four. The other 12 million are already there!

[New Smoking Facts] Most smokers in the US are dumber and poorer than those who don’t. 80% of Blacks who smoke, smoke menthol cigarettes.
[Business’s Sewers] The commercial properties in this area have no idea how very much it is going to cost them to make their sewer connection with the current design. The design is restricted to only being able to accept a very high pressure, very slow pumping grinder pump. It must be an explosion proof design to meet electrical code, not a residential pump, and the wiring must be explosion proof. There is a bunch of raw sewage that is trying to blow back at the business, so the check valves need to be capable and rated for high back pressure. If the power goes out, either the business has a back up generator big enough to run the sewage pumps as well as the usual stuff or they will need to close up shop- maybe quickly, depending on the business. They are faced with buying their own pump station and maintaining the cursed thing forever. Some thought that the sewer assessment was hard, but wait until they start with three times their current water bill, and steadily increasing to pay for the poorly designed, high maintenance system. This could have been a simple gravity connection, relatively cheap to make, even if vacuum sewers were used. FKAA is being really quiet about this, hoping the businesses will wake up after it is too late. The current design will absolutely not work with everyone connected. The engineers are just pretending everything is fine and trying to hang onto their jobs a little longer (plus collect a commission from the grinder pump salesman?)

So far as I know, there is still only one group fighting grinders, Dump the Pumps, and I know they could use some help. Commercial property owners should help with their legal fees since they already have a court date and a damned good case (that just got a whole lot better with new information nobody is talking about). They also now have professional engineers willing to help and who agree that the system is a wreck and a disgrace. Even a delay in construction completion can pay back a donation to them just in the saved sewer bill, so throw a few bucks in the hat to save much more later

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[KW Goombay Festival] The last 2 years of Goombay sucked. I was very disappointed. The food was all the same Spanish/Cuban type food. There was no link to African or Bahamian heritage. I will not be attending.
[“Republicans never approved of democracy”] The Founders also disapproved of democracy, rightly regarding it as mob rule. That is why they created a representative republic
[“Illegals under Obama 1/3 those of Bush; Deportations more than last 4 Presidents combined.” (My figures are probably messed up as I am just trying to remember the facts from the TV and newspaper.)] –FTR didn’t like the way Obama counted– that’s all he could find after checking out all his anti-government sites for the presidents record on illegals.
[“Republicans never approved of democracy”] The sentence should continue to mention they don’t approve of Democracy, but do approve of Capitalism.
from the right
YESTERDAY, A POSTER, APPARENTLY IN HIGH DUDGEON WROTE: “FTR tells posters to be civil and in one sentence he insults the entire female population of a state! I think he owes an apology to over 4.5 million people.”

i love woman18FTR’S RESONSE: I’m stumped, I have no idea what the complainer is woofing about concerning my alleged insult to the entire female population of a state. Nor do I have any clue as to which 4.5 million people the complainer mentions. The complainer likened this Olde Fart to the Muppet character Oscar the Grouch. That’s not a bad thing, in fact, Oscar was kind of lovable. It’s enlightening to know that the complainer is fully acquainted with the Muppet characters even though the show has been off the air since ‘81. Perhaps that’s his/her primary news/opinion source. I just wish that I was getting Oscar’s residuals.

PART 2, Spent yesterday in Ft. Laud., had conversations with some old Democrat politicos that I know. They claim that Hillary will not be a candidate in ’16. They say that during a recent colonoscopy it was discovered that the brain trauma from her falls was more serious than first reported. Oh well, we should all wish her good health and bon voyage in her foray into civilian life. After all, she certainly did a mahvelous, just mahvelous job as Secy. State. Take a quiet moment and reflect on her successes as Secy. State. Mahvelous! It will only take a scant second.

Part 3) We can all be sure that the people in the Gaza Strip, Israel, Ukraine, the loved ones of Malaysian flight MH370 passengers, the Central American refugees attempting to enter the USA, the Syrians, the Iranians and all the world is sleeping well tonight knowing that Team Obama has declared that the world is a more tranquil place today thanks to Mr. Obama