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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days:
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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![]() [July 4th] The Declaration of Independence was adopted by the 13 colonies on July 4, 1776. A year later in 1777, Philadelphia shot off 13 fireworks and had a 13-gun salute in honor of the 13 colonies. |
[Wanted: Depth Finder Installation] I’m looking for a reliable, experienced marine electronics installer for my 26′ boat in Big Pine. I want to replace an old Furuno depthfinder/chartplotter with Garmin. bobbaum28@aol.com |
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[I’m Sick Of Hearing] “I just want to touch bases with you” “This will make it pop” “think outside of the box” |
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[Friday Joke] What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off. |
![]() The US is at risk for dengue fever. The buzz surrounding the mosquito-borne illness. Link |
[Smaller Products Warning] Supermarkets in France will now be required to put stickers on products that have been victims of shrinkflation (when the amount of goods offered is reduced while the price stays the same or increases). “Shrinkflation is a rip-off,” said Finance Minister Bruno Le Maire. “We’re putting an end to it.” |
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[Americans No Longer Proud] American pride remains near record lows, according to a new Gallup survey. The survey found that 67% of Americans are either “extremely proud” or “very proud” to be American, just 4 points above the record low of 63% in 2020. This is a large drop from 2001 through 2017, when no fewer than 75% of Americans were extremely or very proud. |
![]() How many hot dogs would it take to kill you? Frankly, we’d be surprised if you made it past a dozen. Link |
H.G. Wells had a fondness for mysterious questions. They would get him ‘going’. |
![]() John Donnelly, MS President of the Board of Directors The M Ensemble Theater Company |
[Friday Joke] My wife and I were talking last night and I asked her how she really felt about me after 49 years together. She said, ‘Well, the six-pack has gone, and I’m left with the barrel it came in’. When she asked me the same, I said, ‘Well you were a nymphomaniac, but the nympho has gone and I’m left with the maniac’ |
![]() Why some cats scratch more than others. A small study looks into what makes certain domestic cats scratch so much–and how to stop it. Link |
[Perverted Sex] It’s over. When the country you live in has made spitting in people’s face cool because a girl said “Hawk tua” to make a man happy while performing a sex act it has hit rock bottom. She is even selling a container she spits in for hundreds of dollars. R.I.P. America. It was a nice run. |
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[Cutting the Arts] The 32 million dollars in budgetary cuts to the Cultural Arts Programs in the State of Florida by Governor Ron DeSantis, will cause children to be driven from their enriching skill centered activities, back into the streets. They’ll be swept up and initiated into the inescapable gangs that have perennially plagued their impoverished neighborhoods.
The life-saving, aptitude enhancing and mind expanding alternatives that we’ve been providing for these “at risk” children, are being unwisely stripped away from them. These children will now seek attention, validation and peer-pressure approval via the unsupervised and dangerous activities, which will be pressed upon them by their street overlords. The children we’ve been providing a “Theatrical Summer Camp Experience” for at our Theater Company, come from economically depressed neighborhoods riddled with crime and violence. These children have been acquiring academic and technical skills, as they shed the yokes of poverty, achieving and advancing themselves towards a bright and positive future. Now, these innocent and eager to learn children will be stricken from their pursuits, as they become the next casualties of these injurious budget cuts. These types of destructive scenarios have become the “new norm” and “standard” that will propagate the forthcoming “toxic reality”, which is being imposed upon the Children of Florida as relegated by Governor Ron DeSantis. |
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[Captain Doom and Gloom] “Air conditioning the Olympics” Oh, gee whiz, the poor useless athletes will have to sweat just like their ancestors did for the last few thousand years. What a pity. Just think how bad it must be for office workers and other BS time wasters. Ask a steel worker or road repair guy what heat is all about. The only difference is how much the champs stink in their locker room. |
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[Amazon Delivery Van] I was in Kendall Sunday, lost in a residential neighborhood, where I saw an Amazon delivery truck delivering—on a Sunday! We can’t even get deliveries down here on Saturday, never mind Sunday. |
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[Friday Joke] A man goes to his doctor for his first prostate exam. Doctor-“remove your pants and bend over the table” as he proceeds to put on a rubber glove and lubes it up. The doctor inserts his finger and begins to probe. Doctor- “You shouldn’t feel any pain and don’t mind the erection” Patient- “Doctor I don’t have an erection” Doctor- “I wasn’t talking about you” |
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Keys Funk Rock band. Voodu Sol will be playing the Looe Key Tiki Bar Saturday night, July 6. Come on out and get your funk on. Dancing will be encouraged, and you might not be able to help yourself. You are sure to have a good time, Free your mind and your ass will follow. |
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[Bogus Claim] A fashion stylist who claims dust from construction work at her neighbor’s apartment destroyed her vintage handbag collection is seeking $315,000 in damages. Maria Serra told London’s High Court that the renovations made her home unlivable and ruined 26 designer bags worth $18,300. Lawyers for Serra’s neighbors said the claimant had “grossly inflated” the collection’s value and the items can easily be cleaned. |
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[Saks buys Neiman Marcus in $2.65B deal] Hudson’s Bay Company, which owns Saks Fifth Avenue, will buy Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman in a $2.65 billion deal announced Thursday. The luxury retailers will be combined under a new entity, Saks Global, but will continue to operate under their existing brand names. Amazon and Salesforce will have minority stakes in the new company. |
![]() Watch a carpenter ant chew off another’s wounded leg to try to save its life. Video |
[Junk Food Gets Cheaper] The summer of food deals. Restaurant chains like McDonald’s, Burger King and Starbucks are promoting affordability, offering $5 bargain combos to entice inflation-weary Americans back to the drive-thrus. Prices at the chains are up 31% since the pandemic, which priced out many who turned to fast-food restaurants as a cheaper alternative. |
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The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 7/5/24 at 9:55 am. |