Friday, March 15, 2013

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(The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays March 16, 2013)
tech15(Ed: My Deer friends, I hate computers! Sorry for yesterday’s absence, but I tried, from 7am until noon, to post the CT.

My biggest concern for publishing the Coconut Telegraph is that my computer won’t work or the Internet won’t work. I bought a backup laptop to solve the first problem and a $587 smart phone that can be used as a wi-fi hotspot to solve the second problem.

Yesterday morning AT&T’s internet went down in my area and didn’t come back until 6am this morning. I thought no problem, I have this fancy mobile hot spot I can use to connect the laptop to the internet and publish the CT– not! My smartphone hot spot uses Sprint and it didn’t have enough signal strength bars (they said I need at least 3 bars and I only get 1) so no hot spot, no CT. I hate computers!)

I’m calling Comcast today to see if they have Internet service for my area and At&T for new cell phone service as they are the only ones that have a strong signal at our corporate headquarters.)

[Raft in Cudjoe Bay] Anyone know what’s up with the blue raft on the west edge of Cudjoe Bay (in the Mangroves on Sugarloaf)? It sure looks like a refuge raft, but there hasn’t been any news on it. I let the sheriff know, and they are investigating it along with FWC. Any idea what happened? Any new Cubans on Sugarloaf? 


The election of Pope Francis is the first good news to come out of the Catholic church in many years. Kudos to the Cardinals for electing the first Pope from the Americas. I suspect it wouldn’t have happened if he weren’t half Italian, the Italians have a hard time trusting anyone else. It would be wonderful if Pope Francis continued the work of Saint Francis of Assisi whose job it was to rebuild the Catholic Church as per God’s personal memo. 

[Shotgun in wheelchair]  That was very noble of the poster to run this scientific study on the role of guns in harming people. But I think everyone would agree a sample size of a few hours isn’t a very valid statistically relevant sample (nobody said guns always kill people immediately). I’d suggest they leave it on their porch for a more representative period – say a year – and lets see how many crimes it’s involved in. Maybe another poster with the same scientific inclinations could run a companion test with a loaded assault rifle. 
[Cats and Dogs] Unless you are age 5 or under, don’t call them “doggies” or “kitties”.  And they are not your children–they’re pets.



[Name That Flower] Any idea what this thing is? 

I have a neighbor across the street from my rental. He parks his stuff on my property when the house is not occupied without my permission. I just discovered that he tells prospective renters not to rent from a “nut case” like me. I have lost a lot of prospective renters. Sounds like legal issue to me. 
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[Mexican-American War] In 1916, President Woodrow  Wilson sent 4,800 U.S.  troops into Mexico to capture  revolutionary Pancho Villa. 

[Hickory House Revisited] I can not believe that the Monroe County Commission is actually considering the purchase of Rowell’s Marina, 8 acres of bayfront property at Mile Marker 104.  How could they even think about such a purchase after the Hickory House? 
Someone asked what the wood boardwalk is that is going through the woodlands on US1 on Summerland Key.
It is the connector for the heritage trail. I do think they could have found a better place to cut through to old US1 that was a little less intrusive, but it’s kind of cool.
an_scratch-post[There’s nothing quite like having a cat in the house]  Little Puff-Puff wakes from her nap, stretches and rakes the carpet with her claws.  Then a nice big dump and wizz in the good old litter box.  After scratching around to bury the new deposits, she drags her ass along the rug leaving a nice 6 inch skid mark.  She then strolls to the kitchen and jumps up on the counter with her little litter box feet and walks across the spot where you will later make your ham sandwich.  Finding nothing of interest she jumps back to the floor and gags up a big, healthy hair ball for you to step on with your bare feet.  Then on to the food dish where she has a nice canned meal of Happpy Cat Liver and Fish flavor that smells like a rotted goat head.  Time now for another nap, but not before she shreds the arm of the new $1500 sofa and giving it a little squirt to mark her territory.  Lets not forget  the delighful aroma of cat piss that competes with the Pine Forest air freshener the owner uses to cover up the aforementioned odor.  Yep, there’s nothing quite like having a cat in the house.  Meow! 
A cat food recall was issued for several Diamond Pet Foods products in 25 states. The products in question were recalled over a low level of thiamine (Vitamin B1).The vitamin is essential to cats for maintaining a normal nervous system. Thiamine deficiency can include decreased appetite, salivation, vomiting, and weight loss. If the deficiency continues, it can lead to the feline’s death. Meow. Link
Paper is not dear. Video
[Felines & Spinsters] Wow, what a bitter person!  And who are you calling a spinster?  I am a cat colony benefactor, I am not old, I am happily married to a wonderful man, I am not at all depressed, actually quite positive, and I don’t have a nasty cat-smelly house.  This neighborhood’s cat colony used to be the greeters at a motel that closed down several years ago, and they were left behind.  All spayed and neutered, just older and needing some help.  My lovely friend and neighbor was the designated volunteer caregiver when I moved into the neighborhood some years ago, then after a year or so she passed away suddenly.  What’s a person to do?  I helped her brother and friends clean out her apartment, adopted her two pet cats (as my aging cat had recently passed away), and accepted the duty of caregiver for the colony with the local feline assistance organization.  

The ex-resort cats are a wonderful group of cats, all friendly, non-aggressive, and happy to get a bit of attention every day.  Our two in/outside cats don’t even use the litter box I keep available in case they were stuck inside the house all day, they want out. Countered everything you said.  

I think the only reason you are getting scratched and bitten as you say, as no self-respecting cat would ever willing go near a person with such a mean disposition like you, is that you are very likely the commercial fisherman who is catching cats and using them for bait in your traps.  There are a lot of people looking for you.  What you are doing is a criminal offense.  Truly you are a miserable person, I hope you don’t choke on your own bile someday, but it’s highly possible.  I hope you do jail time for your crimes of animal abuse.   

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[Game over] Twins who are Amsterdam’s oldest prostitutes retire after 50 years selling sex. Sisters Louise and Martine Fokkens, 70, have decided they are too old after bedding a total of 355,000 men. 

As a young man Benjamin Franklin was once almost arrested under suspicion for being a fugitive white slave. A vote to end white slavery of both convicted and kidnapped whites failed in the Virginia House of Burgess in 1748 over phraseology. I bet your teacher never taught you that.

The British colonial government was not adverse to calling on unlikely policeman to suppress White slave revolts –Blacks.

Blacks were admitted to the colonial militia responsible for policing White slaves. The aristocratic planters had felt the necessity to “arm the blackmen” to assist in suppressing White slave revolts.

Armed Black Militias patrolled the Carolina’s from the end of the 17th century to at least 1710 when Thomas Nairne reported that Blacks continued to be members of British colonial militias organized by local governments.

In Maryland in 1715, a reward was offered to American Indians who were recruited as bounty hunters to capture runaway Whites and return them to their masters, “for the better discovery of and encouragement of our neighbor Indians to seize, apprehend or take up any runaway servants.” It was decreed that for every fugitive White laborer the Indians caught and brought “before the magistrate, they shall, for a reward have a match-coat paid him or them, or the value thereof…” Link 


You’ve got enough girls to look at. Us women like eye-candy too, we just don’t drool when we stare. If the Bar is changing, that new breakfast guy is a certainly a step in the right direction. Yum-me! I’d let him kiss my grits! 

All Fools, Jokers and Pranksters! That Hippie Band is playing a great April Fool’s Day Soiree to benefit the Bahama Village Music Program. Starting at 7pm on Monday, April 1st at the Sugarloaf Lodge Tiki Bar, there will be great food, Silent Auction, 50/50 Raffle and of course, jammin’ music. Bahama Village Music Program gives free music lessons to kids.  For more information or to donate a silent auction item, call 292-9628. Bulletin Board
[Clean Up] Does anyone know the name of the group that periodically does the shoreline cleanup at the south end of the Bahia Honda bridge? I’d like to help. 



Fanci Seafood just finished making a new batch of  Stone Crab Cakes. Come and get them while they last! They’re so delicious and full of stone crab. 

[Rick Scott Day] Tricky Rick Scott is going to be in Islamorada for a village council meeting today. For some reason they are honoring him with Rick Scott day. They should chose Halloween because this guy really creeps me out.
an_einstien_head“I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own—a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism. It is enough for me to contemplate the mystery of conscious life perpetuating itself through all eternity, to reflect upon the marvelous structure of the universe which we can dimly perceive, and to try humbly to comprehend even an infinitesimal part of the intelligence manifested in nature.”

Good thinking,Einstein! Happy birthday! (March 14) 

[Felines & Spinsters] Whoa! After reading that rant, I don’t think it’s the cat ladies who are the ones with serious issues.



Grateful Dead lyricist Robert Hunter’s 10 commandments for the music business. 

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,  compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant  of the weak and the strong. Because, someday in life you will have been all of these.  ~George Washington Carver 


Actor Will Sampson (he always plays the Indian) has two very talented sons. Link 

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There should be one line at Winn Dixie for people who have their shit together.



I miss you Boo, I know you don’t think of me. Maybe in another life. Be safe. Ciao. 

Why are there so many tv commercials for toilet paper? Who is not buying it? 
 [.38 special cowboy gun] Go to to see prices, pictures, and reviews of the weapons from actual owners.



Fashion designer creates drone-proof clothing for privacy. Link 

NNK Electric, my goodness let it go. The county commissioners are doing what they are paid to do. The best they can. You’re the pain in the butt with all your whining, not the BOCC. If everything you are saying is true. You would have power. It’s not. You don’t. It will continue through the courts until it’s done. You may very well lose. You may very well have to remove those big ugly cement  poles you installed knowing there was going to be litigation. Put your big boy pants on and stop your whining please. 

an charred

Electric fence experiment ends as expected. Video

Nice Music ♪ Only nice people may click! Mishka, “Ocean Is My Potion” 

[“Yes, Winkers, you tear that man’s calf open”]  The person who wrote that would not be welcome around my person, my family, my pets or my property.  Talk about attitude!  Worried about a cat looking “judgmental”?  Paranoid, much?



Fresh, delicious Smoked Kingfish is in the case at Fanci Seafood on Cudjoe Key.

[No CT Thursday] Technical difficulties? See, I really think the world did end in December and the government has been covering it up. Ed is uncovering this!



Please join my team for the Redbone Island Walk at Founders Park in Islamorada on Saturday, March 23. You can sign up to walk or you can donate toward the important research to find a cure for this debilitating disease that shortens the life expectancy of its victims.  ~Thank you, Susan K. Miller Bulletin Board

Regarding the lease. A landlord can put anything it wants in its lease agreement but home repairs and upkeep are strictly the landlords responsibility. What’s next Mister Landlord in Chicago – we will pay your taxes? Hiccup.  

Deer Renter, That addendum is not enforceable in court. Landlord pays entire upkeep on your shack unless you are negligent and flush little kittens down the toilet.  Have the repairs done and have the vendor send the entire bill to the fat landlord who will end up taking your entire deposit no matter how nice you are.

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The pot at the end of the rainbow. Happy St Patrick’s Day!

[Trolling to Upset] I was walking my dog early the other morning at Watson field and I witnessed a full grown black cat kill a small brown rabbit. The rabbit was just sitting there eating some grass when out of no where the cat appeared running a full speed charge towards the rabbit, I don’t think the rabbit saw the killer heading its way. The cat hit the rabbit hard and sent it tumbling through the grass. The cat instantly turned, charged again and this time the cat was able to latch hold with its teeth around the rabbits head. The cat gave the rabbit a few good shakes and the rabbit went limp, probably from a broken neck. The cat then dragged the dead rabbit off into the underbrush surrounding the field. The cat was wearing a small pink collar and was probably taking its prize home to show its master. One dead endangered marsh rabbit thanks to another one of those irresponsible cat owners that are constantly in denial as to the killing power of their house cats. 


“We wish we had approval ratings in the 40s  at the end of our terms”.
~The First Tea Party Congress and G.W. Bush 
[Obama bad] Must be true. Link 
The part of the 2nd Amendment that the NRA types always skip over is the lead in line that speaks of  “a well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state.”   To me that means a trained, organized group like today’s National Guard or Army Reserve units,  that could be called together and lessen the need for a large, expensive standing army.  I think it is obvious that is what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote this,  recognizing that a disorganized untrained armed mob would be more dangerous to itself than any foe and more likely to be defeated.  This is the underlying reason for the existence of this amendment, in my book.
[“Why should Romney get a tax credit for feeding his own animal”] Because it was a legally allowed (insert blame for the party you hate here) business deduction. Can you say that you’ve never taken any legal exemptions or deductions on your taxes? By your logic, whether it’s a deduction for a business, a house, medical bills, student loans or your children, it’s “your animal, you feed it”. You sound like one who demands that everyone pay their fair share, unless it is you. And I agree, your conversation is ridiculous. Feel free to pitch in a little extra. 
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[Never forget Bush got us into this deep recession] Actually it was the Congressional Budget Office that showed a government surplus is why the Bush tax cuts were done. Then it was the Federal Reserve who kept prime interest rates down to spur the economy out of a deflationary trend caused by the massive exportation of cheap Chinese goods on our economy is what caused the real estate bubble. And like all real estate bubbles there is a post real estate bubble recession which would have only lasted about a year if it wasn’t for the Frank/Dodd controlled Democratic Congress getting the government deeply into socialized sub prime mortgage lending which failed miserably to the tune of 7.5 trillion dollars for the resulting economic bailout. Obama hasn’t done jack squat except ObamaCare which is socialized medicine designed to assist the government to bail out the sub prime mortgage mess. In the meanwhile the Federal Government now owns most of California, Arizona, Nevada, Detroit, Florida and the good portion of the northeast area because 85% of those homeowners don’t own their own home outright and over 95% of all home mortgages are held by Uncle Sammy. In the meanwhile most of the middle of the country own their own homes outright where mostly conservatives reside. Never forget? Heck I never forget, what’s your excuse for forgetting Demoncrat? 
Romney and a million others, utilized a tax credit that was established by the infamous Jimmy Carter.


[Republican Sleaze]  Bush and that other oilman Cheney (former Halliburton executive) exempted the oil industry at Halliburton’s request from the Clean Water Act. You can always trust Republicans to put American’s profit above America’s welfare.

[Crooks] “Cash For Clunkers” I am aware of several people (some advised by dealers) to go buy a $500 car and get over $4,000 for it in trade from the government.

[Tax Credit] It wasn’t Bush’s fault either. Jimmuh Cawtuh caused all of it.

There’s a new Pope.  Do you think Francis will blame Benedict for all the problems he’s facing? 


right only grey

[Yesterday’s FTR] Certainly we will all remember the chin music from the left about how The Obama had improved our national image overseas. They told us that The Obama is wildly popular overseas.  Well, that was then, this is 4 years later. has just published a Gallup poll on that very issue. Here’s the first few lines from the article: “Worldwide approval of U.S. leadership dipped considerably during President Barack Obama’s fourth year in office — but it increased in Mexico (Gee I wonder why). The median approval rating for U.S. leadership for 130 countries was 41 percent in 2012, down 8 percentage points from the 49 percent approval during Obama’s first year in office.”

an_tongue24Part 2) Team Obama keeps stepping on its tongue about the White House tours debacle. First The Obama sternly told us that he had not ordered the WH tours shut down. He and his told us that it was the Secret Service that had canceled the tours. He told us it was the only option if they were to avoid furloughs. Please remember that when the tours were canceled, the staff conducting the tours was either moved to other duties, or furloughed.

Then yesterday, The Obama’s mouthpiece, Carney, assured us that it was The Obama himself who had made the decision to shut down the tours. Carney expanded on that by saying that the tours are labor intensive.  But he didn’t tell us that if The Obama would only cut one golfing trip, thousands of kids could have toured for 3 months. Or perhaps some of his mega donors who have paid $500k to meet with him, might ante up.  Deer Friends, the truth matters. It matters to all except Team Obama. Or perhaps if we didn’t fund research as to find out why lesbians tend to be fat (do they really), then we might be able to take kids on tours of the Peoples House.

[Today’s FTR]  Former Az Congresswoman Gabby Gifford was horribly wounded by a pistol wielded by clinically insane stalker a few years ago. Her wounds physically devastated her and ended her stellar public service career. Her husband is Mark Kelly, famed astronaut.  Recently Gifford and Kelly have become highly visible passionate advocates for gun control. It’s interesting that Kelly recently visited an Arizona gun store and bought a faux assault rifle, an AR15 lookalike.  The rifle is not an assault rifle because it’s only capable of semi auto fire like many classic hunting rifles. He said that he was buying it as a device to demonstrate how easy it is to buy rifles that look like assault rifles.  He said that he intended to give the rifle to the police after he takes delivery of it.  That is very interesting.  Kelly also purchased a .45 cal pistol. He intends to keep that gun, perhaps for protection. That certainly is understandable and proper. Buying and possessing firearms is a right that must never be abrogated.

Speaking of gun control, yesterday a poster wrote: “91% are in favor of universal gun control.” That statement is not true. What is true, according to polling, is that 91% favor background checks for gun purchases.   We already have background checks for gun purchases from dealers. That law is not enforced. The have been hardly any prosecutions for violation of the existing law. The Democrats, by 79%/17%, favor STRICTER gun control.  Republicans oppose it by 68%/24%. Link. The real kicker is that Independents also oppose stricter gun control by 48%/46%. That certainly shows that most of us have decided that they can put up with the current level of government intrusion into our 2nd Amendment rights. But that a many, if not a plurality, of us don’t want any further erosion of our rights.

an_burdonPart 2) Let’s think about money, your money.

Obamacare is going to cost us nearly double the tax money then was initially promised. The Joint Committee on Taxation recently released a report on taxes and Obamacare.  It concludes that 21 tax increases included in Obamacare, actually will total an increase in taxation of $1.580 trillion. That’s nearly twice the $569 billion promised by Team Obama. Couple that with the February 2013 report by the Government Accounting Office that Obamacare will not reduce the cost of health care but will actually add $6.2 trillion dollars to our debt, and you have more excellent reasons to scrap Obamacare and to replace with a program that will actually bring down the cost of health care.

Speaking of Obamacare: AP is reporting that the draft web application for Obamacare is at least 15 pages long and is as daunting as doing a long form tax return. So much for the promise that it will be easy and simple to enroll.

The Senate Democrats have put forward a budget to compete with the House Budget just passed. The House Budget will balance the budget in 10 years. The Senate budget calls for never balancing the budget; it demands ongoing deficits and debt.
The Democrat Senate budget calls for the Department of Defense to overpay contractors by 5%. It funds $154 million for the military for “alternative energy research”. It pays $26 per gallon for that alternate fuel.

Attn pet owners: CBS Miami is reporting that Obamacare will be driving up veterinarian fees and costs. Many of the medicines and devices developed for humans are also used on animals.  The increases in Obamacare taxes on medical materials will be passed on to pet owners.

Part 3) I disagree with yesterday’s poster who claimed that GWB got us into the current mess. I urge that poster to take the time to examine the record. If he does he will find that GWB and the Republican controlled Congress led us out of the recession that was in place when GWB took office. The record also reveals that in spite of 9/11 and rebuilding our military, by 2006 our economy was booming. Federal tax revenues were increasing. From 2004-2007, the last year of Republican controlled spending, our deficit declined each and every year. In just the first year of Democrat controlled spending, 2008, our deficit nearly tripled.  That geometric increase in spending and debt It has continued each and every year since then. The slide into the current recession started in late 2007 just one year after the Democrats took control of Congress.  Link

Respectfully submitted: