The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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|This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Give your Mom a hug, buy her a coffee , or just talk to her. Relive a happy event. And God bless all Moms no longer with us!|
|[Free] Reverse phone number lookup. Enter 10 digit number. Link|
|[Letter to the White House] President Biden looked like he was dead during his speech Tuesday night, he looked like a pale cardboard cutout. He needs a makeover badly. He needs a new tailor too; his suit was old style and ill-fitting. His tie was blah and too narrow, his shirt had an old-style collar. But most of all he looked dead. Couldn’t they spray some tan on his face like Trump (but not use the same orange). He even looked paler than Anderson Cooper. How about giving him a throat lozenge to stop his coughing?
The only way he’ll win the election is from people voting against Trump. If he had chosen a Biden/Chaney ticket he would have been a shoo-in. I’m the same age as the President and at least have some color in my face. Can’t you set him outside for fifteen minutes a day, signing papers or something, so he can get some color. Most people don’t care about the great things he’s done, they want someone alive and up to date. ~email@example.com
|[“Gun lesson post”] What a pompous diatribe. The main lesson in self-defense is not to display the gun until you are going to shoot it; or the bad guy might take it away. A gun it not to threaten, but to kill.|
|[Misogynist] “Controlling woman” Somebody has to! You broads are wrecking this rock and cutting off any manhood left with your, “I’m better than men” attitudes! Get back in the damn kitchen where you belong!|
|[“Indians and wheels”] Wiki’s explanation for no wheels on the Indian travois is all wrong. The wheel was available since the 4th millennium BC. And it would have made travel through narrow spaces and rough terrain easier not harder|
|[Friday Joke] A band of squirrels had become quite a problem, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
The Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
And not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
|[“Gun lesson”] Feedback: Are you kidding with that firearm? A woman with a gun is not dangerous unless she is untrained and emotionally unstable. What women are not? To arm a female with a portable howitzer is ludicrous. A simple .22 pistol with 8 rounds will stop or scare anyone off without leveling the neighborhood.|
|[Lost in Translation] When one language is translated into another language and the tool or person does not correct for miss defining the words and structure of the statement, wars have started simply because of misunderstandings. Also, you must allow for the political view of the translator, the countries, and the misquotes or spin that can push a big red button!
English: Want to have a snowball fight?
Russian: Хотите поиграть в снежки?
Russian back to English: Do you want to play snowballs?
|Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what’s your plan?|
|[Antivirus Software] Hi people! Be careful with email and forwarding because the hackers are going nuts. Make sure your Microsoft and Apple OS antivirus software is up to date and set correctly! If you do not know how to set it, ask someone who does. Don’t take the chance of forwarding contaminated email. (Editor: As far as I know Apple doesn’t need an antivirus app. Windows’ is called Defender and it works very well.)|
[“Rotting sushi at Chappy’s”] Hope that you are on the mend. Food poisoning, or any variation of it, is a distressing and horrible affliction. I had to seek medical assistance to get over it. It took a little time. Don’t worry, you will get better
|[Trump Guilty] Jury sides with writer who says that trump sexually abused her. A jury found Donald Trump liable for the sexual abuse and defamation of E. Jean Carroll in a civil trial but rejected her rape accusation. The jury awarded Ms. Carroll a total of $5 million in damages.|
Less flamboyant relative of the Boom Chachalaca.
|[Friday Joke] After 50 years of marriage my wife revealed to me her fantasy was to have 3 men at once. One cooking, one cleaning, and one fixing all the stuff she’s asked me to do.|
|[A Quick Guide to Medicinal Mushrooms] These guides never talk about the main reason to eat those mushrooms—to get high. Just like medical marijuana. It’s to get high. Sure there are other benefits, but the main reason is to get high. Why don’t they talk about that? Link|
|[“Rotting sushi at Chappy’s”] Chappy’s is now called the Sunset Grill.|
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|[Captain Doom and Gloom Grammar Challenge] People are not only stupid, but in the Keys the merchants are the greediest bastards I’ve ever seem. Just because the cost of living goes up 1% they automatically rase prices to the max. Instead of staying stable or even lowing prices a few cents so the locals can still live here, they whore us all. Don’t give me the BS about wholesale verses retail, it’s pure greed. Then the junta gods tell us we cannot have gardens. There is no mercy when the rulers want the land. Then you wonder why people buy online. Guillitene time!|
|[Dementia] The right amount of online scrolling could decrease your risk of dementia. There are countless studies and copious amounts of research delving into how the internet can negatively impact your mind. But, new data indicates that there’s one way online time could actually benefit the brain. According to findings recently published from a team at NYU, it appears that regular internet usage may significantly reduce the risk of dementia in older populations. Link|
|[“America’s strong military”] It would be nice to have a reference. The statics the author states seem high to me. I’m not saying that they are incorrect, I just would like to know where they come from. I’m reminded of my nephew quoting a college president on something to make a point. Researching it I found that the college was un-credited. It was an online school that advertised “no classes longer than ten minutes.” I tend to think that anything posted without reference is bogus.|
|As a man of a certain age, I find myself yelling at young whippersnappers when they’re talking too loud in public, driving erratically, or being rude. “Get off your phone!” is the new “Get off my lawn!”|
|[“Gun lesson”] What a foolish post. The writer just wanted to show his obsession with guns. These are the people that need regulating. As long as a woman can lift the gun a flurry of any size bullets will do the job.|
|[Friday Joke] I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out “So, I’m guessing you’re not Happy“?|
|Someone called the Kentucky Derby “Amish NASCAR” and my day hasn’t been the same|
|The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 5/12/23 at 8:01 am.|