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Published on Tuesdays and Fridays.
(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)
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 Everyone, the time has come! Wetstsock 20 – 2 Days of Peace & Music – The Last Blast
we have 6 great bands over two days this Saturday & Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. We have a special surprise as my friend Cal will be streaming this event live on his platforms and the best part is you are the camera crew. There will be a QR code on the live screen for all to join in. All phone cameras go to a remote editor, and they broadcast any given camera at any given time around the world from Cal’s on-site screen. Who knew 20 years ago these things were possible. Saturday May 24: Bo Fodor and the Hitchhikers featuring Bubba Low Notes Sunday May 25: Bobby Howard & The Ukeholics (when have you heard Psycho Killer on ukuleles?) |
 Jupiter was once twice as large as it is today. Examining the gas giant’s primordial stages is key to understanding our solar system’s evolution. Link |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] You know this rock is falling down, when you send a joke to everyone on your email list and only two understand the punch line. But the really sad part is having to explain it several times to the majority. Sad, very sad.
The ultimate destruction of mankind will be from a AI robot that is a physical duplicate of Bet Midler – naked! |
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| [Friday Joke] Wife: Can you take the kitchen trash out? Me: Let me rest a bit. I’m still tired from all the crossfit this morning. Wife: It’s pronounced ‘croissant’ and you ate 4 of them. |
 Your eyes can reveal the accuracy of your memories. New research suggests your pupils may reflect how clearly you remember something. Link |
| [Censorship] Microsoft employees say emails with ‘Gaza,’ ‘Palestine,’ or ‘genocide’ won’t send. Link |
 I searched ‘illegal dumping 33043’ and Waste Management’s site says call the Sheriff. I called the sheriff and they said to call another number. I called the other number and the person gave me the last Sheriff’s number to call. Exasperated, I hung up after saying, “No wonder no one reports illegal dumping.” |
| [Idiot] “Your Honor, my client is a Drongo.” Man tries to scale cruise ship in Sydney. Video |
 Computer Club meeting this Sat, May 24, 10:30am , Community Center, Winn Dixie Plaza. Let’s solve some problems with your phones or laptops. |
| How to hook your cellphone to your TV. Video |
 [Hit Song Snippets] Every Billboard #1 hit from1960 – 1969 with short video.The Beatles had the most #1 Billboard Hot 100 hits between January 1, 1960, and December 31, 1969, with 18 songs reach the top spot. They also held the longest time at the top of the chart during that period, with 55 weeks. The Supremes, a Motown group, also achieved significant success, recording 12 US #1 hits between 1964 and 1969, spending 22 weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Video |
| [Friday Joke] A tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally checking his map to get back on track. After some time, he realizes he is lost. Fortunately, he spots a cab and hails it. He instructs the driver to take him to the most popular tourist spot. The cabbie turns around and says, “No problem, mate. Here we are!” |
 [Big Pine Book Club] For June we selected The People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks. We will be meeting on June 21st. Inspired by a true story, People of the Book is at once a novel of sweeping historical grandeur and intimate emotional intensity, an ambitious, electrifying work by an acclaimed and beloved author. Full Menu > Book Club |
| [Secret Code] I invented a simple secret code. But it doesn’t work. You type your message using long pushes. The problem is keyboards are not all configured the same. Pixel translates this message: )>$÷ ?!_ ,o/ n;e /&e ]!=/y ×÷ ÷’]÷”/÷# ÷ As: L8f3 mà6 ñ95 b3 5h3 0à456. So I guess it won’t be adopted for war time. |
 [Icebreakers] This badass American ship once ruled the arctic. can the U.S. build new icebreakers before a Russian takeover? As tensions rise to grab Arctic resources, the U.S. is racing to construct a new icebreaker vessel that can secure a foothold in the north first. Link |
| AI will double the human lifespan by 2030. Is this the dawn of immortality? If humans make it to 150 years old—known as aging “escape velocity”—we could choose exactly how long we’d like to live. Link |
 [Memorial Day Service] A Memorial Day Ceremony will be held on Monday, May 26th in the auditorium of the Upper Keys Murray Nelson Government Center at 11am. The doors of this facility will be opened at 9:30am, in order to accommodate all those requiring time to set up and prepare for the event.Our plans at this time include the magnificent performance of our Florida Keys Community Concert Band, Flag presentation by the Daughters of the American Revolution, Scout Color Guard, Inspirational Videos and insightful Veteran and Civilian Guest Speakers. Immediately following the Memorial Day Ceremony free hot dogs, burgers, fries and discounted beverages will be served at the VFW Post 10211’s new and beautiful remodeled restaurant, “The Armory Speakeasy”, which is located directly adjacent to the Murray Nelson Government Center on the Northbound side of US1. We hope you’ll be able to take some time from your busy day, to honor and remember with us the sacrifices of our many “Soldiers Killed In Action”. |
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| [Cruise Scam] Carnival Cruise Line sounds the alarm on new scam. There’s something about the joy of booking a cruise that leaves people open to being taken advantage of. It’s almost like consumers are so excited to get away on their cruise that they leave themselves open to cons. Link |
 Customizable Psychedelic Trips Are on the Horizon, Scientists Say. Thank the ‘Second Brain’ in Your Gut. Scientists want to study the way your body’s gut microbes react and interact with psychedelic substances like magic mushrooms. Link |
| [Friday Joke] Tea is an evil substance. Tea is much more dangerous then beer. Please avoid drinking tea. I discovered this last night. I had drunk I4 beers up until 3 am at the pub while my wife was just drinking tea at home. You should have seen how angry and violent she was when I got home. I was peaceful, silent and headed to bed as she shouted at me, all night long, and even into the morning. Please ladies, if you can’t handle your tea, please don’t drink it. |
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 [Pet Peeve] I wish drivers would activate their directionals some distance before the turn and not when they are turning the steering wheel. |
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| [Double Trouble] Rare two-headed snake is surprisingly thriving. The second head breathes, flicks its tongue, and allegedly can get mad when provoked. Link |
 [Friday Joke] A big-city lawyer went duck hunting in rural areas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you’re not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I’m one of the best trial attorneys in the city, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in the countryside. We settle ill disagreements with the Three Kick Rule. The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.” The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old coot. Now it’s my turn.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.” |
 [Boat For Sale] 2012 Key West 216 Bay Reef with a 2015 250HP Suzuki outboard. 25′ trailer. $25,000. Link |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 5/23/25 at 8:25 am. |