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(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)
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| [Flooding] How on God’s green earth does raising roadways stop flooding? Will water flood on to resident’s property and keep roads dry? I lived in the Avenues for years and there was a mite bit of “puddling” at times, but raising the roads begs the question: where is the water gonna go? |
 [Generals] In WWII we had 1 general for every 6,000 men. Today we have 1 general for every 1400 men. Bureaucracy does two things: 1. Continuously grow. 2. Makes it harder to do anything. |
| [We’re the Government and Here To Help You] The Real ID Act was passed twenty years ago in 2005. It was one of the many measures rolled out in the wake of the 9/11 attacks that was presented to the public as being necessary to ensure that similar attacks would never happen again. If these new ID requirements were as crucial to the safety of air travelers—and the American public at large—as the federal government has claimed, the sheer time it’s taken to implement would be unacceptable. That alone is a sign that, perhaps, the federal government’s motivations are not what they say. Link |
 [Alcatraz] Escape from the Rock. How the only successful Alcatraz prison break in history was torn from the pages of Popular Mechanics. Link |
| [Computer Club Meeting] Sat, May10, 10:30am , Community Center, Winn Dixie Plaza Let’s solve some problems. Full Menu > Ongoing Events > Computer Club |
 Leo XIV elected as first American pope. Link |
| I hope the new pope is modern enough to remove Latin as the language of the Church and pharmacies. |
 [Amtrak] What happens if Amtrak gets privatized? Experts warn it would lead to higher prices, worse service, and a major reduction in rural routes. Link |
| [Do-it-yourself Hovercraft] The cab of a 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee and seats from a Volkswagen Jetta are just a few of the repurposed parts used for the project. Link |
 [Bar of Expectation] No matter how much or how many times I lower the bar of expectation, people manage to roll under it. |
| Mother’s Day is for moms, not men in dresses. Their day is April 1st. |
 [Teleportation Is Real] Scientists just proved teleportation is real—and unlocked the most powerful internet yet. In a groundbreaking experiment three decades in the making, scientists teleported a particle over 18 miles. Link |
| [NATO vs. Russia] What would World War III look like? Video |
 [Cuba] China is improving its spying capabilities in Cuba. First, we had the Russians and their missiles and now we have China and it’s spying on us. Forget Greenland and Canada, Cuba should be our 51st state. It is vital to our security and the others are not, though politicians don’t seem to see that. We could really help Cuba recover from their failed attempt at making a country. |
| [Three Key West Restaurants Close] Three Key West Restaurants, Bob’s Place, Pinchers, and I- hop have all closed? |
 [Fire Closes US1] The 18-mile stretch into the Florida Keys has partially reopened Friday morning, while Card Sound Road reopened to leave the Keys as fire crews continue to battle a brush fire. Around 2:40 p.m. Thursday, Miami-Dade Fire Rescue and the Florida Forest Service rushed to a grass fire near Card Sound Road and Southwest 392 Street. Since then, helicopters have been performing water drops, and water tender truckers arrived to help extinguish the blaze, according to fire rescue. Over 20 fire crews are in the area working to contain it. Link |
 Mercury retrograde is blamed for a whole host of problems in astrologically inclined people’s lives: flight delays, malfunctioning electronics, fights with your spouse, and more. This phenomenon happens a few times each year. From August 5th to 27th, we’re about to experience retrograde yet again. But how could a tiny planet like Mercury—the smallest in our solar system, only a third of Earth’s size—cause so much havoc from afar? Link |
| [New Pope] Catholics have elected a new pope. Solving the problem of pedophile priests is easier then you may think. Just let them marry. Catholics take young men who have never had sex with a woman, sequester them with other young men and are surprised when they become pedophiles. This is a recipe for abnormal behavior. These same pedophiles then act as marriage counselors and advisors on a subject they are totally clueless about. The only woman the Catholics revere is a prostitute. |
 [Bird Feeders] Are backyard bird feeders safe? How to stop illness and intruders. Proper hygiene can help stop the spread of bacteria and viruses like bird flu. Link |
| [Phoning] I’ve been told hundreds of times that my call may be recorded and used for training purposes, but I’ve never seen a dime of compensation. I might call Morgan and Morgan. |
 [The Illusion of a Listening Universe] For centuries, humans have sought comfort in the belief that the universe is somehow attuned to our needs and desires. This idea often stems from the age-old human tendency to anthropomorphize the natural world, attributing human traits to non-human entities. People have long imagined the cosmos as a vast, benevolent entity that listens and responds to our pleas. However, the harsh reality is that the universe operates on principles of physics and mathematics, indifferent to individual aspirations or struggles. It’s like expecting the ocean to care about the ships sailing on its surface; the waves will continue their course regardless of human presence. Link |
| [Friday Joke] Joe and Jill went up the hill, they each had a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two and a half, they didn’t go up for water! |
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| [Deception] I am with a local janitorial company and would love to give you a professional cleaning quote. We’re working with several businesses in Florida, and everyone seems to love our work because of our attention to detail. May I give you more information and a no-obligation cleaning quote? -Regal Refresh Cleaning (Editor: they are not local. They are in Hialeah.) |
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 There are more collect phone calls made on Father’s Day than any other. The careless child calls their dad only once a year and they make him pay for it. jerks. |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] I am not surprised so many KW restaurants close. Their foods sucks. Real low rent garbage! We just had breakfast at Goldman’s and it was the worst breakfast I ever had there in 20+ years. When the corporate places close up, that area is usually going down the tubes. KW has been doing that for many years, ever since the gonifs took over and made it their pot of gold tourist trap. The only thing that will happen now is real-estate values will crash and the big housing corporations will eat our islands and turn them into kiddy play grounds and holy roller nesting sites; or if the bad guys take over the sand dunes, then the construction gurus will dig deep canals all over the place, like in the rest of Florida, and turn us into Condoville and gambling hotel brothels. |
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 [Underground Bunkers] Here’s how much they actually cost & who can build them for you. Link |
| [Friday Joke] There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence. He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn’t he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn’t realize his enormous size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN. |
 [Tariffs] Exact date US supermarkets will be hit with shortages and empty shelves according to expert. As stores scramble to find workarounds to President Donald Trump’s trade tariffs, one retail expert has revealed when consumers can expect to feel the impact. It’s time to start stocking up. Link |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 5/9/25 at 9:14 am. |