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(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)
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 [Country Life Foods] Your chopped dates don’t come in a plastic bag like all other companies do, and spill all over, when the shipping box is opened. Also you dates are loaded with pits and pieces of pits that broke one of my teeth. ~b33043@outlook.com |
| [Friday Joke] I’m a drunk, but do you know the difference between acholic and a drunk? An alcoholic wants to quit. I knocked on the door of Alcoholics Anonymous and a man answered. I asked, “Is this Alcoholics Anonymous?” He said, “Yes, would you like to join?” I said, “No, I want to resign.” |
 [“Tucker Carlson was mauled by a demon while in bed”] I knew he was a nut, but I always thought he knew the difference between a demon and his cat scratching him when he rolled over on it in his sleep. He was probably dreaming of demons at the time because of all the evil and lies he spouts. I’ll wager he never dreams of bluebirds and butterflies. Evil minds don’t have sweet dreams. |
| [Fatbergs] The battle against fatbergs has a new weapon. An experimental zinc coating may reduce the build-up of fat, oil, and grease clumps in sewer pipes. Fatbergs are a pretty disgusting threat lurking below cities and towns around the world. These buildups of fats, oil, and grease–or FOG–can mix with the calcium and water in sewer systems and form these giant blockages that solidify inside pipes and concrete sewers. Link |
 [Real Knobs] Goodbye, annoying touchscreens. Welcome back, buttons? Why some carmakers are bringing back your beloved knobs. I bought a new car with a great sound system but there’s no volume button, just a + or – touch place. I like an actual knob that I can instantly wind up and blast music while driving without taking my eyes off the road. Link |
| [Go To Answer] My “go to” from now on when I don’t understand or can’t do something is “Please be patient with me. I’m from the 1900’s” |
 This year’s Veterans Day Ceremony held at the Upper Keys Murray Nelson Government Center was spectacular in every way, shape and form. “Everyday Veterans” assembled and shared parts of their personal life, about what being a Veteran means to them. It was potent and powerful. Breathtaking in its content and delivery.The United States Coast Guard Color Guard, Islamorada Station, marched with meticulous precision into the auditorium opening our event. Their detailed-oriented symmetry was magnificently coordinated. Our superbly accomplished musicians, again performed brilliantly as part of our Community Band. Providing the audience with beautifully played selections, along with the “Armed Forces Medley”. Monroe County Veterans Affairs Director Cathy Crane, State Attorney and Commander of the VFW Post 10211 Dennis Ward worked together to make certain that we continued to have this event. Commanding Officer Matthew James and Chief Salvador Ruiz of the United States Coast Guard, Islamorada Station; along with Mayor Holly Raschein were recognized for their many years of devoted service and support of Veterans. “Everyday Veterans” from all walks of life, stepped up to the podium and shared from their souls, on what being a Veteran has meant to them. They were absolutely extraordinary. Their heart-stopping accounts were spellbinding. All of the technical support and auditorium preparation on that day was performed by Leonardo Morin (Leo). He was an “Army of One” and assisted us in every way possible. Of course, there was all of the intense coordination required behind the scenes by our exceptional Veterans Service Officers, Kevin Perham and James Carey, along with our extremely competent Executive Assistant Zenia Leonteva and TV/Multimedia Manager Jethon Williams; which culminated in the creation and production of our Veterans Day Event . Also, with a loving and supportive audience, a dignified and illustrious Veterans Day Ceremony was set forth, which rocked the house, second to none. Thank you so very much. Sincerely, John Donnelly |
 [Kwanzaa] Are our brown brothers and sisters still going to celebrate Kwanzaa or has that fabricated holiday faded away due to lack of interest. Link |
| [Friday Joke] A mom took her young son to church with her one Sunday. During the middle of service her little boy looked at her and informed her that he had to pee. The mother, upset with her son, firmly told him that it’s not acceptable to say ‘pee’ in church and that the next time he has to go to the bathroom he needs to tell her that he has to ‘whisper’. The following Sunday the same boy went to church again, this time with both of his parents. He leaned over to his father during the middle of service and said, “Daddy, I have to whisper,” to which his father replied, “Go ahead and whisper in my ear, son.” |
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| [Hypnagogic Jerks] What causes you to jolt awake right before falling asleep? Hypnagogic jerks are as common as they are mysterious. Link |
 [Bummer] Hispanics are at greater risk of lung cancer. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death worldwide, but in the Hispanic community, the risks are even greater. Hispanics are more likely to be diagnosed with lung cancer at an advanced stage compared to other groups, and they are often less likely to be referred for life-saving early screenings. This disparity puts many at a higher risk of dying from lung cancer simply because the disease is caught too late. Video |
| [Cat Houses] How to upcycle campaign signs into cat shelters. When the election ends, don’t trash your signs use them to make cat houses. Link |
 [Sick Society] Dress like a poor person for $425. If you are a rich person and want to look poor these stupid jeans are for you. If you want to be poor, give me your money! |
| Health myths you’ve been told and shouldn’t believe. Slides |
 The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club is holding our 2nd SHOW & SHINE of the 24-25 season on Sunday, Nov 17th Noon to 3PM at the Sugarloaf Lodge MM17.All monthly shows are the 3rd Sunday of each month at Sugarloaf Lodge. EXCEPT the Holiday December Show will be Sunday, December 17th at the Conch Republic Seafood Co. at the end of Elizabeth Street from 11-3PM. Bring an unwrapped toy for the Domestic Abuse Shelter. Our toy donation lasts the Shelter for an entire year. This is always a free event to all lovers of classic, custom, sports and street rod automobiles of all years and makes. There is plenty of room for parking show cars and outdoor seating in the grass under the trees with prizes and a plaque for People’s Choice and 50’s and 60’s music from our new sound system. Bring the kids to enjoy these beautiful relics of the auto world. Remember that Robbie will have his food truck “Loafin Around Café” at the show to provide you with his specialties, snacks and non-alcoholic beverages. Let’s support Robbie so he will support us. Bring your own coolers if you wish. We have new Car Club koozies, Women’s shirts and newly designed T-shirts for sale. Yeah! The Club is seeking new members. Join at the show and receive a club T-shirt and club sticker. For more information contact Lance Stehman 305-797-6782 |
 [Trifecta of Wrong] I’m not sure what is more frightening. The car accident, grandma still in the car, or grandpa’s pants. |
| [Diabetes] What you need to know about diabetes. We invite you to join our diabetes experts for a free informational webinar, hosted by award-winning journalist and television personality, Ileana Bravo. Wednesday, November 20th, 2024 6:00 – 7:00 p.m. Register Here |
 If vegetables are so good, explain to me why vegans are always trying to make them taste like meat? |
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 What does alcohol do to your body (besides making you lie down in the most wrong places)? You’d be hard-pressed to think of something in your body that isn’t impacted by alcohol. Alcohol affects three main systems in your body: Link |
| [Big Pine Book Club] Saturday is the third Saturday of the month! We will be meeting at 10:00 am to discuss Positivity by Barbara L Fredrickson. Full Menu > Book Club |
 [Stink] Scientists crack the mystery of why the corpse flower smells like death. On a chemical level, it is similar to rotting meat. I walked into a special area of L.A.’s historic greenhouse and was almost knocked over by the terrible smell of this plant that was in full bloom. The flower must have been about six feet in diameter. It was gigantic with a gigantic smell. Link |
| I’m 80 and the best advice I can offer is to always have a plan B. |
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 I tried warning you that it was hunting season, bitch. But no, Madame had to go see her sister by the lake side. |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 11/15/24 at 9:26 am. |