2018 November

Friday, November 2, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​​

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Deer Fence Irma damage. The fence has been cut to allow jerks to pass. Save our Key deer. The existing problem is that since then nothing has been done to the Big Pine Key Deer Fence. The initially great fixes are failing in places due to the degradation of materials (e.g. plastic zip toes) which are now failing and thus opening new gateways for the deer to enter the US-1 Highway death corridor.  We understand that much erosion occurred along this road stretch, so it is not a simple “re-erect a fence fix”. However, in view of how much money the original project had cost us tax-payers (by far mostly in raising the road to allow for the under-passes) and its success until Irma, we urge FDOT and related agencies to follow-up and repair the fence! There’s not much use for the underpasses when most of the deer are dead.

~Valerie Preziosi, President, Save Our Key Deer, Inc. 760-807-9064,

[Restaurant Review] For those of you who haven’t tried Milagro, the new restaurant on BPK, you’re missing a very nice dining opportunity.  The grilled octopus, tortilla and French onion soup, Caesar salad, tacos al pastor, and the fresh fish are excellent.  I wish them great success and will be visiting often.



[Immigrant Caravan]This is not what your great-grandparents’ caravan looked like. This one will be by-passing Ellis Island.

Hogfish harvest in Keys ended November 1. Link
[Free Press] In 1776, the second year of the American Revolutionary War, the Virginia Colonial legislature passed a Declaration of Rights which stated, “The freedom of the press is one of the greatest bulwarks of liberty and can never be restrained but by despotic governments”.

This philosophy was captured in the US Bill of Rights, First Amendment to the Constitution, which specifically prohibits restricting the freedom of the press. However, we have come to a point in history where the leader of our nation routinely states and apparently believes “The press is the enemy of the people” and half the populace support this view. God help us.

[Mosquito Control] Deer Friends in just a few days we will be voting in a very important local election.  In one of the local races, we will select a Commissioner on the Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority, District 2.

One of the candidates was an employee of the Authority a number of years ago.  That candidate, Ralph DePalma, was by his own description considered to be one of the very worst performing of all of the Authority’s employees.  Essentially, he quit before he was fired.  He was disciplined for tardiness, and even for failing to show up for work.  He was gigged for failing to complete assigned tasks.  He was faulted for failing to assist his co-workers. He was chastised for using Authority equipment for personal uses.  All in all, he was a crappy employee.

But now, his ads in support of his candidacy, declare that his “competency” is positive and that he is imbued with “integrity”.  His personnel file tells a different story.  It appears that Ralph DePalma simply needs a job.  Currently, Mr. DePalma claims that he is a guitar player, a photographer, and is selling a book about local musicians that he authored.

But what of the other candidate, Phil Goodman?  Mr. Goodman has an absolutely exemplary record as a Commissioner on the Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority.  Mr. Goodman early in his service on the Board led the charge to cut the salary of the Board Members.  He then managed to save our county residents millions by leading the charge to eliminate free health care for life for Board members and all employees.  He then managed to lead the charge to impose term limits for Board members.  That, Deer friends is an exemplary record.

That is a record that cries out for one final term of public service for Phil Goodman on the Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority.


[Friday Joke]On a cold winter day in Minnesota a woman called her husband. Wife: “The car is not starting. Dashboard shows the sign of a person sitting on toilet. Husband: “What? Send me a picture.”

[Begin The Beguine] What the hell does that mean!
Artie Shaw — Begin the Beguine
[Friday Joke] A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, “I think my friend’s dead! What do I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says, “lust take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, and then a shot is heard. The guy comes back on the line: “OK, now what?”


[Communism] Nikita Khrushchev was speaking truth to the American people. John F. Kennedy confronted him & the Russians during the Cuban missile crisis. Very near the start of World War 3, which will take just a few minutes from start to finish & destroy the world as we know it. Your vote is needed to stop the movement of Socialism into our government, schools, health care system & polluting our great America. Don’t be fooled, this is the most important election in your life and the life of your kids & grand kids. Vote wisely.

[Everglades Reservoir] Having secured federal authorization, Florida Bay and Everglades advocates now turn their focus to securing money and slashing the timeline for the $1.6 billion Everglades Agricultural Area Reservoir. Link
[FantasyFest] The Konk Life link showing the Parade was the best.   Thanks for posting it. Link
[Vote For Beth] Tuesday (Oct. 30th) was my last day as your Keys Energy advisory committee representative. It has been an honor to represent our community these past 7 years! The 7 years I spent on the advisory committee has provided me valuable insight and knowledge of the detailed workings of the utility, and the particulars of the Utility Board itself. This experience, coupled with my 11 years successfully advancing our County’s local utility and conservation policies, and my 4 years serving as your County Planning Commissioner, has uniquely prepared me for the seat on the Keys Energy Utility Board that I am running for.

I humbly ask for your support and your vote on Nov 6th.  ~Beth

Beth Ramsay-Vickrey for KW Utility Board Seat D  -or-

Bad news for anglers: Red tide causes snook and redfish restrictions to be extended. Video




The person in blue shirt at the bottom right died in 2013. His wife is now remarried and pissed. Let her forget.

[Election Woes] Yes, what is up with all the hoopla over the utility board seat?  So much advertising.  We have all been forced to look at ugly, excessive campaign signs for months – tons of them.  The mugs of these candidates are strewn up and around intersections, across homeowner’s yards, on business properties, telephone poles, fencing, etc.  Some egotistical candidates have even enlarged their signs to overshadow the others.  Enough is enough.  It will be nice when the elections are over and all this garbage will be properly disposed of, clearing and beautifying our highway and back streets again.  I hope (please, please) all candidates ensure their signs are removed in a timely manner!



[Hats] From the liberty cap to the pussy hat: a history of radical objects. How subversives through the ages have expressed dissent. Link

[New Musical] ‘Havana Music Hall’: universal, and Cuban, tale. Link
[“Grandparents Caravan”] Do you mean those group of immigrants that arrived in the U.S legally via Ellis Island?  Exactly what is your point?
[“Those sexual assault claims for ass-grabbing will only drive guys to prostitutes”] This is why companies have been working day and night on developing a realistic functional sex robot or “fem-bot.” If Elon Musk starts working on these the human race will be extinct in about 50 years. Some women have already caught on to the threat and are taking steps to have these fem-bots banned. Check out this link for a look at what’s coming (no pun intended) Link



My hobbies are smoking lots of marijuana and rescuing stray cats.

[Friday Joke] What causes arthritis? A drunk man, who smelled of liquor, sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, ‘Say, do you know what causes arthritis?’

The priest replies, “Sir, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”

The drunk muttered in response, ‘Well, I   have been taken.’ Then he returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”

The drunk answered, “I don’t have it, I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

Moral: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Caravan migrants headed to the US refuse Mexico’s offer for schooling, jobs, healthcare and more. Link
[Madam Secretary] Watch Elizabeth’s Stirring season 5 premiere speech. Video
An eyewitness to the false DUI arrest at a Big Pine Burger joint posted here that “no one at the restaurant or the owners encouraged the arrest of this woman.”
Well, I have the official arrest report which reads (with names and personal data removed for publication):
“I asked (Victim) if she had anything to drink or if she was taking any medications, to which she replied that she had not drunk anything and had just picked up her prescriptions today as she was hospitalized two days ago… I then made contact with two witnesses, (L…) who is a waitress at the Sports Bar. (L) told me that (Victim) did not eat or drink anything, just requested a menu. She observed that (victim) appeared disoriented and was swaying as she stood and walked, almost falling as she left. This created enough concern that (L) was about to call the Sheriff’s Office to report (victim). (L) provided a written sworn statement to the above.”Volunteering a witness statement and saying she thought about reporting a walk-in to the Sheriff’s department seems way overzealous to me. The victim was indeed having a hard time standing and walking. The Deputy did note in his report that her feet were swollen. The victim is very thin, weighing only about 80 lbs. The photo is of her feet-painfully swollen because of her liver malfunction. She had not yet filled her new Oxycodone prescription, which is prescribed for every 6 hours, and she had taken her last hospital pill about 17 hours previous to this incident. You bet she had trouble walking! But she was certainly not stoned. And her hospital release papers allowed driving.
Did the purported eyewitness hear the bar owner telling the cops they should crime tape around the victim’s car so she would not leave the scene of the crime (like tape would stop her from making a run for it)? Did the eyewitness hear the owner demanding that the victim’s car be immediately towed instead of having a friend come for it and cost $597 extra to retrieve this 2018 towed car that only had a scuff on the bumper. I was an easy walking distance from the bar when this all went down and could have been there faster than the tow truck. Even the tow driver asked, “Why are we towing this?” I think the eyewitness’ posting here is the owner just denying everything he did to crucify this innocent ailing victim.



New glasses needed before giving a flu shot!

Osama Bin Laden didn’t fly planes into the World Trade Center. He worked his followers into a frenzy and they did it for him.
[Troika Of Tyranny] America is putting the screws to Cuba again because they are a socialist society, so they must be punished. It’s still surprising how, supposedly smart, people can’t distinguish between Socialism and Communism. Link
[Download Winn Dixie’s Mobile App] Get even more exclusive savings and deals personalized just for you. Link
[A-B-C Words] Recently Kim Kardashian was reported to use the “R” word. What gives with people using letters instead of actually saying the actual word? How idiotic are people getting? There’s the “A” word, the “B” word, the “C” word, the “D” word, the “F” word, etc, why are celebrity’s afraid to actually use the English language? And if they’re afraid that they might hurt someone’s feelings, just keep their mouths shut!
The United Way of the Florida Keys recently announced the addition of Lynsey Saunders and Nikki Bell to its Board of Directors. Both members bring expertise that will help further the organization’s mission serving working families in Monroe County.

Ms. Saunders works as the Communications and Community Relations Coordinator for the Monroe County School District.  Ms. Bell is the Marketing Director at Ocean Sotheby’s International Realty.

If anyone welcomes the illegal immigrants into the Keys they will be banned from happy hours everywhere!
[Captain Doom and Gloom] Take a closer look at the immigrant caravan. They are all in shape or fat, have nice clothes, high end sneakers, $100 back packs, too many kids, and white teeth. It’s all a con to get these invaders to crash America. I have zero pity for these useless eaters. They will come here and wreck it for all of us just as the EU is being trashed. They don’t have the brains to fix their own country, kill off the gangsters in their governments, and get down to working for their keep, Don’t kid yourself, this is a real invasion and it has only started. Wait until the bleeding hearts and holy rollers start housing these mutants then watch everything turn into a nationwide Detroit in a year! Either we close the gate or bend over.



Key Largo Bridge Run November 9 & 10. Video

I hear some new South American Airlines are serving fresh cooked burgers in-flight with several charcoal grills going up and down the isle?[?]
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