2018 October

Friday, October 26, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​​

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[“Marathon Airport 75th “Celebration”] We checked out the much anticipated Marathon International Airport’s 75th Year Celebration this past Saturday.  From the print ads and hyped radio promotions, we were excited to make an afternoon of it, but there was no celebration of any sort.  Unfortunately, it took us less than an hour to view the planes, check out the vendors, music, animal petting zoo, and antique cars, of which, there were none.  What a major disappointment.  There were very few people attending this event.  Most of the planes did not display their specs and were locked up tight.  There were just five animals, a skunk, sloth, ferret, baby alligator, and tortoise, to pet under a six by six tent, only one food and one drink vendor, no music and no cars.  And the museum is a joke.  The best part of the event was sampling the delicious new appetizers from Faro Blanco.

Also, I agree with the postings in Tuesday’s CT about the “international” status of this mostly private airport.  If Marathon really wants to be a destination with all their new hotels and such, they’ll have to provide an air hub to be successful.  Hopefully the City of Marathon will take their heads out of the sand and come to this simple realization.

[Immigration] According to the NYT’s perspective, if half the 5,000 strong caravan reaches the border, during that same time, if the caravan proceeds by foot at 2 miles per hour, during that journey, 16,800 American citizens will die from drugs, 690,000 Americans will become homeless, including 267,000 American kids, 8,850 will die from guns, suicides and murder, and 9,000 Americans will die from lack of health insurance.

The real National Emergency is drugs, homelessness, gun death and lack of insurance.





Immigration simplified — using only gumballs. Video

[DUI avoidance] Having just had a totally sober friend with serious medical conditions (who was not on drugs) arrested for DUI, I did some research on how to avoid a similar occurrence for myself and friends. Number 1 is do not talk to police much beyond identifying yourself. You have the right to remain silent, so assert that right to shut up. The cop is not just being sociable, they are looking for anything to escalate that bad license plate light into a DUI or drug bust. That’s where the money is, and everything is always about the money. Admit nothing. Even if you only had one drink hours ago, simply decline conversation politely. “No” is the correct answer for “Do you know why I pulled you over”. Never, ever, take a field sobriety test. The odds of not providing at least some subjective evidence of impairment is really low, as a study using totally sober people and real cops demonstrated. Link

The cops are allowed to lie and threaten. They are allowed to try to provoke you. Stay calm and polite, but do not waive any right to decline being interviewed or to take a sobriety test. If not under arrest, they cannot lawfully order you to move your vehicle any significant distance beyond being out of traffic danger. If you flunk a field sobriety test but blow a zero BAC, they can just arrest you as a druggie DUI and it will cost you a lot of money to get bail and have an expensive lawyer vindicate you (as my friend discovered). You will still have a DUI arrest on your record which will not help background searches or insurance premiums. It will also put you on the suspected list for years.

Never, ever consent to a search of you or your vehicle without a written warrant, regardless of how sure you are that there is nothing to find. If asked to get out of the car, roll up the window and lock it. Funny how some cop will always “smell marijuana” even though there has never been any in your car. Be sure to ask often if you are free to go, and always have a recorder going on any police encounter. A good choice is to have your friend on their phone recording it all. Better yet, if your friend is a good lawyer. It may save you a call later, which by the way is cut extremely short. Get the badge number and name(s) on the recorded message.

[“Bamboo” Flooring] I floored a small room with Home Depot’s laminate bamboo flooring and within a couple of weeks there appeared a water stain where someone evidently spilled a drink and was slow to clean it up. Then the corner by the door where rain must have gotten in stained. Now the other side of the room is staining. Maybe I’ve got too many leaks, but I don’t think bamboo should stain. I’ve heard so many good things about bamboo flooring. Maybe they were talking about solid bamboo. My sister re-did her whole house in oak laminate and there’s a big stain in the kitchen where the dog peed. She said she wiped it up as soon as she saw it, but it stained. I would not use any laminate flooring again because of the staining. Tile is still the way to go. That’s what I have to do after I tear out the laminate.
[“California now gets a third of its energy from renewable sources”] This is true but only part of the story- renewables almost always are more expensive than standard power plants so they cause electrical rates go up. If they ever get a good storage system than renewables will be workable- otherwise they will cost more money that some families can afford.  Unicorns are great to dream about but they have to eat and poop somewhere. Link
I finally did it. I bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles. No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen.
[Friday Joke] My son was flunking out of college, so I told him, “You will marry the girl I selected.” He said, “No.”
I told him, “She is Bill Gates’ daughter.” He said, “Yes.”
I called Bill Gates and said, “I want your daughter to marry my son.” Bill Gates said, “No.”
I told Bill Gates, “My son is the CEO of the World Bank.” Bill Gates said, “Ok.”
I called the president of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. He said, “No.”
I told him, “My son is Bill Gates’ son-in-law.” He said, “Ok.”
[Vote for Beth Ramsay-Vickrey for Utility Board] The function of the Kw Utility Board is to form policy, guide the financial business, and represent the community. Beth is the only utility board candidate with real experience:

On policy:  Beth is the only candidate with 10+ years and nearly 300 public meetings, successfully advancing our local utility and conservation policies. Finances:  Beth is the only candidate who is a successful businessperson (retired), experienced in dealing with multi-million-dollar financial contracts. On community:  Beth is the only candidate who is actively involved in our lower Keys community, participating in hundreds of community events from Big Pine through Key West. More than 160 this year alone!

Please vote for Beth Ramsay-Vickrey, the Utility Board candidate who will advocate for lowering customer costs, our community, and expanding conservation.  -&-

[You Are What You Eat] Scary food supply problems. Recall hits millions of pounds of food from Harris Teeter, 7-Eleven, Kroger, Walmart and more. Ready-to-eat foods at retailers have been recalled over risk of listeria and salmonella contamination. Video
[Foreigners Can’t Tell If A Person’s Drunk] Regarding the lady a day out of hospital who was unsteadily walking on swollen feet and got the DUI charge at the urging of the Paradise BSB people (in spite of blowing a zero alcohol): Paradises’ side of the story is right on the police report along with the names, addresses, ages, and country of origin of the two willing witnesses swearing she was drunk. You read that right, they are not even of this country. Maybe everybody is perfectly healthy “in the old country.” As for entering the bar drunk, the victim of the police with her dead liver asked me, “Do you think I would take my last ever drink in that joint?” She even decided not to eat there. I only had one meal there, and that was enough to last me through this owner. I ate there often when it was Springer’s and also as Rob’s.




[Vacation] This pregnant lady tourist was having the time of her life at the Bahia Honda swimming hole.

[R.I.P. Jeff Sturges] Jeff Sturges And Universe — Rice Pudding (Live, not dead)
[Lawyerly Sense of Humor] Rebuilding New Orleans after Katrina often caused residents to be challenged to prove home titles back hundreds of years. That is because of community history stretching back over two centuries during which houses were passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish a paper trail of ownership.
Writing on behalf of his client, a lawyer made a loan application that was subsequently rejected by the bank. How this lawyer responded was absolutely funny. Link



[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

The woman who created the green bean casserole has died. Society will never be the same. Link
I know politicians are preying on stupid people right now. I just wish they didn’t have such a plentiful supply.


Does anyone know how much radiation we get in the Keys? A doctor in Miami told me to get checked!

[Crooks] New York sues ExxonMobil, saying it ‘misled’ investors about climate change risks. The attorney general’s lawsuit alleges the oil giant lied about how it was calculating potential carbon costs. Link

Today’s theory on what killed the dinosaurs. It is hard to imagine billions of tons of rock suddenly start to splosh about like a liquid – but that is what happened when an asteroid struck the Earth 66 million years ago. Scientists have now put together a detailed picture of the minutes following the giant impact. This, remember, is the colossal event that wiped out the dinosaurs. The analysis of rocks drilled in 2016 from the leftover crater show they underwent a process of fluidisation. Link

Fantasy Fest’s pet masquerade is a G-rated event in a week filled with anything but. Video
[Fall Festival and Haunted House] The Big Pine & Lower Keys Rotary is hosting a Fall Festival and Haunted House October 28, 29, and 30 at Watson field. We are in need of volunteers for all three nights from 6-9 helping at the event and also to be scarers in the haunted house.

If you can give some time to help us put on the event for the kids of Big Pine and surrounding areas, we would greatly appreciate it. Please reply to me if you can volunteer any or all 3 nights. And please spread the word, so we have a great turn out!

[Navy Training] A press release announcing the Record of Decision for the Atlantic Fleet Training and Testing Environmental Impact Statement is attached.  The Record of Decision is attached as well. Final AFTT ROD Signed 10-19-18 and 22-18 AFTT EIS Record of Decision
Don’t miss the Fall Harvest at in Marathon’s Crane Point October 28. Video

[Back-up Sensor] Lots of the newer cars have a back-up sensor that warns the driver before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something.  Who invented this sensor?   I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler, No? then how about Mercedes Benz, or possibly the French or Italians?   No. It was a Chinese farmer.  His invention was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitch squeal before the vehicle backs into something. Here’s his first prototype.

[No More Recycled Waste To China] More than two-thirds of the world’s plastics were being shipped to China until it raised its contamination threshold for cleaner plastics and paper materials earlier this year. Monroe County’s recycling program and fees so far remain the same despite China’s refusal of the United States’ recycled plastic, paper and packaging material as part of a new crackdown on contaminants. Link




Skimpy costumes, racy parties. Fantasy Fest lets it all hang out (but no sex, please. Ha ha) Video

[Oil Pipeline] Citizens connected with groups opposed to the Line 5 oil pipeline in the Straits of Mackinac demonstrated at the Shepler’s ferry dock Tuesday in Mackinaw City. Neither the State nor Line 5 operator Enbridge have environmental track records to brag about. So why not shut the oil company out of the Great Lakes? Video
[Flogging Through the Fleet 17th-18th Century] This punishment is never inflicted without due trial and sentence by a court-martial, for some aggravated offence. After the offender is thus sentenced, and the day arrives appointed by his judges for its execution, the unhappy wretch is conducted into the ship’s launch a large boat which has been previously rigged up with poles and grating, to which he is seized up; he is attended by the ship’s surgeon, whose duty it is to decide when the power of nature’s endurance has been taxed to its utmost. A boat from every ship in the fleet is also present, each carrying one or two officers and two marines fully armed. These boats   are connected by tow lines to the launch.  These preparations made, the crew of the victim’s ship are ordered to man the rigging, while the boatswain commences the tragedy.  When he has administered one, two or three dozen lashes, according to the number of ships in the fleet, the prisoner’s shirt is thrown over his gory back; the boatswain returns on board, the hands are piped down, the drummer beats   mournful melody, called the Rogue’s March, and the melancholy procession moves on. Arriving at the side of another ship, the brutal scene is repeated, until every crew in the fleet has witnessed it, and from one to three hundred lashes have lacerated the back of the broken-spirited tar to a bleeding pulp.
Davis leads Islamorada council candidates in contributions. Link


More weed killer found in breakfast cereals, snack bars. Over two dozen breakfast items have tested positive with the main ingredient in weed killer. Video

[The Massive Gulf Stream Is Slowing] Anyone who has crossed in the Gulf Stream knows its power. Boaters may suddenly find themselves in a placid warm northbound “river” in the Atlantic Ocean, or they could be tossed about like a cork in a storm if even a moderate wind opposes the 3- to 5-knot current. But two recent independent studies concluded that the mighty Gulf Stream is slowing down — by about 15 percent.

The reason seems to be to due, at least partly, to huge amounts of melting Arctic ice. That giant rush of freshwater on the surface reduces the density of the water and disrupts the sinking flow that drives the giant current. More melting will likely further slow the Gulf Stream.

Regardless of what’s causing the slowdown, there are some concerns for boaters along the East Coast. The Gulf Stream is often thought of as a conveyor of heat, bringing warm equatorial water to colder arctic areas and vice versa. As in most things climate-related, it doesn’t take much to upset our weather’s equilibrium. A slower Gulf Stream is a warmer Gulf Stream, which may affect the size and intensity of Atlantic hurricanes and may cause sea levels to rise faster along the East Coast.

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer & Smartphone Club is coming up this Saturday, October 27, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events


Tonight, Tueday, is the Boondocks/FKSPCA pet costume contest and Beth will be judging!

[Stuff The Bus] United Way of the Florida Keys would like to thank the community for again helping set our local students up for a great academic year by generously donating to help provide school and classroom supplies for 8,500 Monroe County students!

With the community’s support, UWFK directly raised $17,270 and an additional $32,360 was raised through the Publix ‘Tools for Back to School’ campaign in their checkout lines…that means $49,630 was raised to purchase supplies that students need to succeed!

Stuff the Bus was changed to monetary donations only this year, in response to input from the school principals because of the overwhelming school supply donations after Irma.  Teachers and administrators have all been thrilled to be able to purchase the kinds of supplies that are exactly what they and the students need. Link

[“Marathon International Airport”] It’s not a joke. It was built for the rich and infamous and their toys. Same as Sugarloaf Airport.




Beautiful pictures show giant white whales dancing in unison with their trainers in underwater show at Chinese aquarium. Link

[“Creating zombie slaves”] That is exactly what is happening especially in the South by a specific group of individuals. Their motto being “Keep them dumb, Keep them down.” That is one reason the teachers are underpaid and another reason why our kids score so poorly on standardized and entrance exams.
Over the last two months I have been trying to understand and compare the qualifications of the two candidates for Utility Board Seat D. I considered experience, education, understanding of the issues and most importantly, a demonstrated willingness to understand all sides of an issue. After, this consideration, Robert Barrios is clearly the best candidate for Utility Board Seat D. He has 20+ years of experience within many positions with Keys Energy. While I initially thought this was a disadvantage, after talking to him on many occasions, I now see it as a relative positive. He is well educated, with both college work and many utility related technical courses. More importantly, when I discussed some of the major issues Keys Energy faces, he both understood them and seemed to be willing to address them. Finally, he is a well-grounded individual, universally liked, and with a sense of gravitas that a successful board member needs. He does not go off the handle on every little issue, weighs his words before speaking, and is willing to move from his initial position to reach a consensus. ~Walt Drabinski [former candidate for Seat D]
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