2023 October

Friday, October 27, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[R.I.P.  Jeffery Yerxa] I grew up in Big Pine, way the hell back in Port Pine Heights on Landers Street. I lived there until I was ten and then we moved to Key West and I stayed until I was 20. My father passed away a couple months ago and I thought this would be a good place for anyone that I don’t know that he knew to hear what happened. My father, Jeffery Yerxa passed away. He had a heart attack and passed away on the 29th of august. He was a great man and I couldn’t have asked for a better father.
I’ll miss you every day and I love you forever.  ~David Yerxa
[Arrested for Putting Out Fire] On Friday October 13, 2023 a longtime resident and Big Pine Key property owner was arrested by a USFWS officer for putting several buckets of water on some fire at the edge of a fire trail adjacent to his property. The resident was transported to the county detention center where he was jailed for two days. He was released on Sunday October 15, but had to report to a preliminary hearing on Monday October 16.
[Latest Mass Shooting] There is something deeply hypocritical about praying for a problem you are unwilling to resolve.
[FantastayFest Rules] Public nudity is absolutely prohibited in Key West. Male and female genitalia must not be exposed. Female breasts cannot be exposed. Breasts painted with body paint will only be considered as covered when in the Fantasy Zone. Body paint cannot be applied in public. It must be applied in an enclosed area, out of the public view. Sex acts in pubic are absolutely prohibited.
[Dumbing Down of America] Oregon school chiefs suspend need for high schoolers to prove math, reading and writing skills to graduate for five more years – to bolster minority students who ‘don’t test well’. The State Board of Education ruled that students will no longer have to fulfill an essential skills requirement in order to graduate. Link

[Computer Club] The next meeting is Sat., October 28, 10:30am at the BPK Library. Want to learn about apps?

[Friday Joke] The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS Auditor: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”
Boat Owner: “Well, there’s Clarence, my deckhand, he’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board.  Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweiser’s every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally.”
IRS Auditor: “That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one”.
Boat Owner: “That would be me. What would you like to know?”
[Art] Is this art? I think not. If the artist has to spend five minutes explaining a piece — it’s not art—it’s a project. Art stands alone and needs no explanation. Does Van Gough, Monet or Jackson Pollock need explanations? Either you like it or you don’t. This stupid fake art by Shilpa Gupta is just that—stupid.
[The Beer Economy] Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  I think it is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.  ~ Babe Ruth
Armed robot with the M72 Light Anti-Tank Weapon. This and drones are the future of warfare. Link
[Mirror Dimension] There might be a dark biosphere—a whole ecosystem of mirror-image life forms. The molecules most central to life twist one way or the other. Your most famous molecule, DNA, a spiraling helix like the thread of a screw, is right-handed. The molecules encoded by your DNA, proteins, are left-handed. Even humble sugars like glucose have a twist to their shape. Link

[Friday Joke] I choked on a carrot this morning, and all I could think of was, “I’ll bet a doughnut wouldn’t have done this to me.”

Where are the cool hangouts in the Florida Keys? How to find them and what to do there. Video

[Jerks On The Lose] Someone shot a spear through a loggerhead sea turtle’s head in the Keys. Then doctors went to work. Link

[Friday Joke] A man decided to have a facelift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the salesclerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”
“About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, “Oh you look about 29.”
“I am actually 47.” This makes him feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 75 years old, but when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If you let me put my hand down your pants and play with your manhood for 10 minutes, I will tell your exact age.”
As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, “OK, I’m done. You are 47.”
Stunned the man says, “That was amazing! How did you do that?” The old lady replies, “I was behind you in McDonalds.”

[Joseon] The First Cyber Nation-State recognized by a UN Member Nation. Joseon is the non-territorial successor state to the Joseon Empire which was founded in 1392. Video
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Squirrel gets drunk after eating fermented pears. Video

One of my wife‘s main hobbies is writing works of short fiction. That’s what I call it. She calls it honey-do lists.

: I’m here to remove the demon that has possessed you.
Me: I didn’t call you!
Demon: I did.
[Fentanyl Kingpin] While Melvin Howard, 56 sat in Monroe County jail on the drug charges, a grand jury Friday indicted him on a capital murder charge in the September 2022 overdose death of a Grassy Key woman. Howard is being held in county jail on a $1.3 million bond on murder, fentanyl trafficking and conspiracy charges, as well as a charge of using a two-way communication device to facilitate a felony. Link
[Friday Joke] Wife on the phone in Target parking lot, “My car is getting hot. What should I do?”
Me on porch drinking beer, “Tell it you have a headache.”
[Islands Closed For KW Race Week] Key West National Wildlife Refuge Temporary Closures – November 8th-12th, 2023.The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service will be closing Boca Grande Key, Woman Key, and the Marquesas Keys in Key West National Wildlife Refuge from November 8 th -12th, 2023. All beach access will be closed to the public to protect wildlife and critical habitat from disturbance. These islands are all part of the Federal Wilderness System. Historically there has been extreme disturbance from boaters at this time of year in these areas and these closures aim to eliminate such impacts. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service along with partnering agencies will have an increased law enforcement presence at these locations to enforce the temporary closures. Anyone found violating these closures is subject to criminal prosecution by federal authorities and may be fined up to $5,000 and or six months imprisonment.

[This Weeks Mass Shooting] Maine: 16 murdered. They should record all the useless platitudes, that way they wouldn’t have to repeat themselves every week. “Oh, we should do something about the killings”, etc… Link
[Key West Days Past] Ah, the old days of Key West.  Fast Buck Freddie’s, Nancy’s Secret Garden, Atlantic Shores, as well as the favorite, La Concha rooftop.
I caught a bit of Tampa vs Buffalo NFL football game last night.  Commercials showing pretty, illuminated Buffalo/Niagara Falls NY pictures and videos. Very pretty, but guess what?  No people.  I grew up in that rust belt — it’s a mess. Taxes, bone chilling cold, flowers and shrubs only 1/2 a year, highly polluted waters, unions killing the workforce.  Fools are still there for one of two reasons, or both:  Family and occupation armpit of the east!
[Bioluminescence] The scientific world is on a journey of discovery about biofluorescent communication. It has been documented among marine organisms including sharks for a while but until recently it was not known that many mammals glow with biofluorescence. North American flying squirrels shine brilliant pink, and Australian researchers this month revealed that 86% of 125 mammals studied had fur that glowed under UV light. Link

[Beer Can Chicken] This tasty fowl replaces the gamy-tasting turkey for Thanksgiving. Just don’t forget to remove the can.
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 10/27/23 at 7:51 am.