2013 October

Friday, October 4, 2013


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(Saturday, October 5, 2013 The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays.)

transformer sparks


[Keys Energy Bad] Three months ago one of Keys Energy’s transformers went bad and fried a lot of my stuff. I have complained and am seeking payment for the damage which was clearly their fault as it wasn’t lightning or other acts of God. Their response so far has been that I “should have known that the transformer was going bad and reported it”. Like I’m an electrical engineer? So far they are ignoring my claim. It’s bad enough that they are charging for credit card payments, but not to take responsibility for this is just plain bad customer service. Anybody have a similar story? Or a happy ending to this situation?


[Zaza’s] The food and service was very good when it first opened, despite being pricy and in poor location (physically and logically) as well as being too fancy, too much money spent on the renovations. It appears it was created to be quickly sold for a profit, not building a viable money making business from the ground up.

What might have occurred is the owners read about the success of the Sunset Grill, which did complete building and sold shortly after. Thus thought their concept would be successful in what perhaps appeared to them as a rich market without enough variety of good restaurants.

What I’m waiting for is the next shoe to drop encompassing the entire Sugarloaf Lodge property, I get the feeling they want out. Perhaps a retirement home for aging Italy mobsters escaping the poor economy and Zaza’s is the first step of a master plan?

subway4[Chain Stores on Big Pine] Subway on BPK coming as soon as the contractor finishes Tom Thumb in Marathon they will be coming to the one on BPK.

[“We’re all Florida Keys Electric Coop customers and vote for FKEC board members”] Wrong-o poster! Keys Energy Service serves everyone below the Seven Mile Bridge. 


[“Affordable Care Act Facebook page”] How much would their insurance be without Obamacare with type I diabetes? Yeah, I thought so.

loch ness monster

Massive sea monster spotted on deep sea oil rig camera. Video 

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nira tocco realtor 9.12

[“Ground level house in the Keys”] Real estate agents sell with a straight face much like motorcycle salesman or cell phone carriers do assuming you’re intelligent and/or informed to know about the physical, privacy (gov. recording your location) or financial risks involved. There are many who want to enjoy the Keys life and willing to accept the higher risk as they can afford to do so. It’s not like they plan on their ground level Keys home being their only one, certainly not to be in it during a major storm.

With adequate surge protection most Keys homes can survive a 5ft flood as the water just goes up and down. Just look at all old homes that have survived many past storms. Concrete floors and walls with tile will suffer little, with fast clean up be liveable in a week, so the downside is minimal and ground level homes are very appealing to many who tire or can’t climb stairs.

It’s up to the buyer to sit down and do their homework to satisfy their needs and wants, plan their purchase carefully.


[Sputnik] Today in 1957 the Soviet Union launched the first artificial satellite, Sputnik, into orbit around the earth, ushering in the Space Age and Space Race.

The original voice of Siri revealed. Video


Texting and driving became illegal in FL Oct 1st.


The Key West Sail & Power Squadron is offering America’s Boating Course at the Key West Sail & Power Squadron Building, 5205 College Avenue, Stock Island. This two week course covers boat handling, elementary seamanship, navigation aids, weather, marine radios, Florida boating regulations and more. Completion satisfies Florida State boating certification requirements. The course dates are Saturday, October 12th and Saturday, October 19th. For More information see Events.

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tarps bungee cords

[Dredging] Whoever came up with the “It’s only a study” campaign gave the pro-dredging coalition exactly what they deserved — their collective clocks were cleaned.  Such Bravo Sierra [BS] was an insult to the intelligence of every Key West citizen.  Jennifer Hulse then added a back-hand by stating “people misunderstood”.  The arrogance of some is immeasurable.  People understood perfectly what was at stake with this referendum.  The results should speak volumes to those commissioners who, when polled, stated they would have voted for approval. Beware of future attempts to subvert the will of The People on this issue.


The SUV driver in New York was most likely in fear for his life and the lives of his family when he was surrounded by that biker mob.   Who says that the stand your ground laws and self defense laws should apply only to our precious guns when you are defending yourself.  Use whatever is at hand, even your SUV  Besides that,  don’t they say that the smart thing to do is to flee danger?  That’s what he was trying to do.


[More bar wisdom] I’m passed out drunk on the side of the road to success.

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[“Federal Worker sob story”] What? Do they really get back pay for the time they didn’t work? I was hoping our income taxes wouldn’t be collected or, at least, pro-rated! 



TSA Pre-check has been around for a while and there’s lots of airports that have it already, like Miami. It comes with Global Entry or Nexus for international travel and is really sweet. You don’t need to remove shoes, belts, laptops, liquids, etc. Just put you bags on the belt and walk thru.  I’ve never waited in line at any of the TSA Pre-check locations. Just get the trusted traveler approval. It’s easier than getting a visa, you need to sign up online and they do a background check, and then a short interview. This is one time the government is improving the process a lot  and I really appreciate it!

[Anthrax] On this date in 2001 authorities confirmed a tabloid editor in Florida had contracted anthrax. He died the next day.


[“Buying a ground level house”] If I had my druthers I’d buy a ground level home. It’s so nice to walk out your door and sit in your yard and not have to climb steps a hundred times a day. And maintenance is so much easier than having to get scaffolding or long ladders to maintain a stilt house.

bevis5[“Keys diseased youths”] Yeah, it’s sad. I just had the same conversation with a 4th generation Conch now in his thirties. One of his friends, since diapers, was recently arrested for a horrific crime. My explanation to him was that some survive the swim of life and others drown. While his friend is going to be doing hard time, my Conch buddy is a successful Key West business owner. The only difference is in the parenting and apparently your kid had better parenting than his friends. Good job! 
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Radio Shack Ad pixlr9.16.13
[Dredging Vote] I’m glad the “study” was so roundly defeated. It shows that the citizens of KW want to keep what little they have left of the town’s charm and not sell out for a few more t-shirt sales and a lot more fat tourists. 

ants corners an

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, “Twist to open.”

[“How could a real estate agent sell someone a ground level house and keep a straight face”] I’m a local realtor and I sell honestly, as do 99.999% of my peers down here. I disclose everything, including how much water was in my home during Wilma and Georges. I also provide buyers with adequate written disclosures and phone numbers to multiple insurance sources. In the end, the buyer decides what they’d like to buy. 

an frankenstein

[Sammysam the Bongo-man] Come join us at the Looe Key Tiki Bar this Saturday Oct. 5th from 7 – 11pm with the Ray West Band and Sammysam the Bongo-man doing his “Bongo Magic”! Also don’t forget the “Votes for Notes, Habitat for Humanity Benefit” being held at the Looe Key Tiki Bar this coming Monday Oct. 7Th from 6 -9 P.M. hosted by Ray West! Bands running for votes are The Billy Brown Band, The Moondogs, Phoenix, and others. So come on down for good music, fun and drinks. But most importantly, come on down and show your support for all of our local bands & benefits. 

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isaksen-flood 4.23.13
[Abortion] I don’t know how any human being can condone or defend late term abortions, much less killing a newborn that survives an abortion attempt.  It’s sick and represents a new low for humanity.  Yes, it’s a woman’s choice, but why would anyone take that long to decide? 



Grinder pump plan is illegal.  The Islamorada village plan to require approximately 500 homeowners to install and maintain grinder pumps that are to be connected to the town’s central sewer isn’t legal, the Florida Department of Environmental Protection informed officials last week. Link

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Does Capt. Doom and Gloom really think anybody can take him seriously? His very first sentence quips that govt workers’ pay is more than 99% than that of all other Americans. He continues to tell us they only work 20 hrs weekly, do no work, have no expenses, etc. All this in one sentence. Granted it was an extremely long sentence–47 words, but that is a lot of b.s. in one line! 


How to connect your laptop to your TV. Video

coconuts lounge and liquor 9.12
[Sanctuary Friends Membership Drive] Sanctuary Friends Foundation of the Florida Keys is holding its annual Membership Drive now until January 31, 2014. Memberships start at $50. New members will receive a Tropical Connections: South Florida’s Marine Environment book.The mission of Sanctuary Friends is to support the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary in the preservation, restoration, and sustainable use of our coral reef ecosystem through development of community support and advancement of public awareness, education, outreach and scientific research. For more information, visit, or mail a check to Sanctuary Friends Foundation, P.O. Box 504301, Marathon, FL 33050. 



[Captain Doom and Gloom] “Affordable Care Act Facebook page” If what was posted here is true, then the BO healthcare issue is kaput for sure. No one in their right mind will let themselves be had like this.



religion politics zone

Fox News is reporting that  21 National top media outlets are blaming the Republicans for the Government shutdown and nobody is blaming the Democrats (except Fox).  Their usual delusional conclusion is that there is obviously a nationwide media conspiracy against the Republicans.

[Shutdown] The Obama administration is purposefully trying to make this shutdown hurt to win political points. That is a provable fact. Evidence:
1) The Obama Administration spent money pointlessly closing popular memorials, but left others open:
2) Obama Admin took several websites (NASA, FTC) offline even though they don’t cost anything to leave up:
3) NPS ordered closing of a farm that receives no federal funding and has remained open in the past:
4) Despite them using private funds, gov’t ordered the Air force v. Navy game to be cancelled because of “optics”:
5) NPS closed the Mt. Vernon Parking Lot because Mt. Vernon itself could not be closed due to it being private:
These aren’t the only examples. It’s clear this administration is playing games to score political points.

[Republican Compromise]Can I burn your house down?
Just the second floor?
Can we sit down and talk about what we can burn down?
That’s not fair, why won’t you negotiate?

[I got mine–how you doin’?] Republican Congresswoman Renee Ellmers voted to shut down the government, but is too damn important to give up her own paycheck. “The thing is, I need my paycheck.”she said.  Stay classy Republican Party.


The best thing about being a Democrat is that you don’t have to try and make Republicans look bad. They shoot themselves in the same foot everyday. Their extremist have taken control and we love it.

Did you know the President isn’t an American?

[Fatso] For the big government lefty who was annoyed with the accurate fork to gun analogy the Surgeon General of the United States estimates nearly 300,000 people die from obesity each year in this country costing in excess of 147 billion dollars annually. Arizonas share would be nearly 6000 deaths not eleven and cost almost 3 billion. Unless you believe these forks jumped up and shoved unwanted food into the mouths of unsuspecting victims the analogy holds true. Since you are also most likely a lefty who supports the killing of Innocent unborn children and almost certainly agree these deaths should be carried out with impunity spare us all the worthlessly fallacious effort for moral relevance with your absurd attacks on the rights of American citizens. Link



This is the Republican Party in a nutshell. See corporation are people too and the republicans a dole out corporate welfare and deny it exists by telling big fat lies. This is the Republican Party in a nutshell. See corporations are people too and the Republicans dole out corporate welfare and deny it exists by telling big fat lies as they do about everything that matters.

Americans voted for Obama and Obamacare and the losers have been trying to go against the democratic vote since. A few extremists have hijacked the Republican Party and shut down the government hurting everyone but themselves, just to stop Americans from getting health insurance.

old-forge4Forget just for a forget moment all the crap that’s going on in DC and contemplate the beauty around us. Around The Rock we have the incredible beauty of endless skies, towering clouds, flats teeming with life, the Florida Current that roars past just a few miles off shore. Think about the incredible rush that accompanies a school of dolphin that are hungry. Think about the heart stopping moments that follow the strike of any billfish. Think about the screaming reel that follows a Wahoo strike. Think about the pure beauty of a flag Yellowtail. Think about the incredible beauty of our reefs, our mangroves, and our deer. And never forget our sunsets and sunrises that make our heart ache with their beauty. We live in paradise.

But we are not the only inhabitants of paradise. Please consider the Adirondacks. Please think about the summer months when the silence and the cool  cathedral like ambiance of the forest wraps you. Please think about the incredible beauty of the scent of a pine forest. Think about winter’s stark black and white beauty and think of the brusque calls of the crows echoing throughout the woods.

We’ve been in Old Forge, NY,  for the last few days and have had the great privilege of again seeing the change of colors in the woods. We’re about a week late for peak color, but it’s still breathtaking.  As usual, the tiny town is filled with tourists like us on weekends, the roads are busy, but the scenery is awe inspiring. We’ve had the good fortune to renew old friendships and have some really delicious meals at the Knotty Pine restaurant, which has been in business for 75 years, longer than I am. Hope you enjoy the attachment.