2023 September

Friday, September 8, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

It’s 2am Tuesday September 12, 2023. There will not be a Coconut Telegraph today as I’m on the way to Cuba. Be back Saturday.

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[Gordon’s Ashes] Found in Florida! One of the owners of a hotel, Judi, was walking on the beach this morning cleaning up the junk that washed into shore and finds a bottle with a message in it. There is also some sand and 2 one dollar bills. Once we get it open and read the notes we find out that it is in fact not sand. It is the ashes of this woman’s husband of 70 years named Gordon. She writes that He loved to travel so she sent him traveling in a bottle with a note and money for someone to call home and tell her where he landed. He started at Big Pine Key in March of 2012 and then went to Islamorada where someone found him.
They added a note and sent him traveling again and he landed on our beach in Key Colony. Judi called the wife in Tennessee who was excited to know of Gordon’s travels! Judi added her note, we put him in a rum bottle (you know, to add a little fun to his trip) with the three notes. We added another dollar in case Gordon travels far and a long-distance call is needed. We will be having a memorial service or celebration of his life on our beach later today before sending him on his way again.
[Being Safe] He told the scared little bird, “l will keep you safe. I will feed you. I will give you a home. l will ensure no one has more than you.”
And, he did. Soon all the scared little birds were safe, and all it had cost was their freedom.
BMW’s $12,000 electric scooter will hit 75 mph and has motorcycle vibes. This futuristic take on an electric two-wheeler is a 509-pound driving machine with an 80-mile range.
We had Mexican pizza the other night. It’s much better than what is coming out of the local pizza shops in the Keys. The only thing that turned us off was the small bare footprints when I looked at the underside of the crust!
The “Orgone Accumulator” was a device sold in the 1950s. Its inventor claimed it allowed a person sitting inside to attract orgone, a massless “healing energy.” When the FDA was investigating the device, they noted that one purchaser, a college professor, knew it was “phony” but found it “helpful because his wife sat quietly in it for four hours every day.

My system for solving Rubik’s cube. Link

[Manned Hamster Wheel] Man spotted floating in giant hamster wheel faces federal charges in Miami. Here’s why. Link

Biggest clean energy disaster in years. UK auction secures no offshore windfarms. Lack of interest was widely expected after government failed to heed warnings about soaring costs. Link

Play Moonlight Sonata on your computer’s keyboard or mouse. No experience necessary. Active Link

[Spelunker Rescue Attempt] More than 150 rescuers join effort to free ill American from Turkish cave. In video brought to surface, Mark Dickey says he was ‘very close to the edge’ after falling ill 1km down. Video
I spotted this scientific device yesterday off Looe Key reef. I think it was attached to the orange ball that is tethered to the seafloor and has a solar cell to power it—whatever it does. The temperature of the waste was 92° at 18 feet. Do any of you know what it is?
No more Ripple, Silver Satin, Bali High, MD 20/20 or Wild Irish Rose. What are whinos going to do?
An old song: “White port, silver satin, Bali high
That’s the pattern.
Drink some wine, boy.”
[Nature] As you can see, the larger trucks form a protective barrier around the infants of the herd. Nature is beautiful.
[Privacy] Your car could be capturing data on your sex life. Mozilla Foundation’s review of 25 major automakers’ privacy policies is a disconcerting look into vehicle tech security. Link
Mexico decriminalizes abortion, extending Latin American trend of widening access to procedure. Link
This should be done from Alaska to Argentina. In fact, the whole planet! Next: Ban all welfare and food stamps, then reopen the draft for 5-year hitches.
With Amazon Clinic’s new skin condition visits, you can start a video visit with a doctor or nurse practitioner 24/7 to get diagnosis and treatment for skin concerns from bumps and bites to rashes and burns. No more guessing, “Why is my skin so flaky and dry?” And no more waiting days for an appointment while a rash gets worse. You’ll also find help for aging skin, hair loss, and more. Upfront pricing. No appointment needed. Link
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[Malware] The strange story of the teens behind the Mirai Botnet. Their DDoS malware threatened the entire Internet. Link
Andy Rooney (Mr Eyebrows) once said: “I don’t think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America.
Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens….Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game. I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.
I have the right ‘NOT’ to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.
[Friday Joke] Two priests died and went to heaven. The pearly gates were locked, and they couldn’t get in. The angel apologized, stating the computers were down, and they would have to return to earth, but they could not go back as priests. The first priest said, “I would like to be an eagle and fly over the Rocky Mountains”. The second priest said, “I have always wanted to be a stud”. Both priests left. Two weeks later the first priest was notified the computer was fixed and he could return to heaven. The priest asked where the other priest was, and the angel replied, “I don’t really know for sure, but I think he is in a snow tire somewhere in N. Dakota.
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 9/8/23 at 8:27 am.