2013 June

Monday, June 17, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media – Daily Since 2002

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Blue Monday — Fats Domino

Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


big-obama[Giving Up Our Rights] Do you know what bites my arse? When I hear comments like, “As long as you don’t do anything wrong, or anything to hide, you shouldn’t have to worry about the government monitoring your emails or phone calls.” For one thing, I’ve read many comments here about peoples Internet accounts being hacked by some outside source. It has happened to me several times. Even my cell phone has been hacked, and not just mine but several other people too, that I know of.

Now, do you really think that a terrorist is going to be stupid enough to use his or her own Internet and phone account? No. They will most likely hack into someone else’s account, without the knowledge of the actual account holder. In today’s technology it has become so simple for these events to occur. It’s as easy as identity theft. I wasn’t aware that someone had stolen my identity until about 3 years later.

Now, according to the Patriot Act, if you are suspected of any type of terrorist involvement, law enforcement can enter your home without a warrant, you will not be read your Miranda Rights, have no right to an attorney and can be held in a detention center for an undetermined, or indefinite amount of time, with no set date for a hearing. And you have no right to face your accuser.

But, you’re innocent! You haven’t the slightest clue as to what you’re being accused of and being held for. All you will be told is that the FBI, NSA, DHS etc. has proof of documentation, and records against you, showing that you have been involved, and guilty of some illegal terrorist activity.

Now, what proof do you have, that the whole incident is a mistake? What are you going to do, call Verizon or Yahoo and request for them to send you your records? The government already did that. That’s why you’re being held. The government is not perfect as we already know and have seen countless times, and they make many mistakes. Just look at local law enforcement alone. How many innocent people have been found guilty and sent to prison by, 1st the police officers, or detectives. 2nd by the prosecutor. 3rd by the jury. 4th by the Justice system? Now, this is just local law enforcement. Can you imagine what the percentage would be like for national, and international law enforcement?

OK, they made a mistake and they realized it, but the news has already been circulated that you have been arrested for being a terrorist all over the nation by the news media. Do you think they’re just going to say, “I’m sorry, my bad”? No. They’re not going to admit any mistakes to anyone, and will keep that knowledge only to themselves. Just like it has happened countless times with innocent Arabs, and American citizens who are being held while the government knows they’re innocent and these people have never committed any wrong. That’s what you have to think about.

Another possibility is that, let’s say they want to target you for one reason or another. Let’s say the government declares that the NRA (for example) is a threat to Americans freedoms and the NRA is now considered a domestic terrorist threat, and  anyone who is a member of the NRA is now considered a domestic terrorist. Or conservatives, or liberals, or Christians, or atheists, or blacks, or Hispanics, or Amish — what ever! They can easily fabricate any documentation that shows whatever evidence they need for their purpose and or agenda. What proof will you have again? It may not be you, but it could be your Mom, or Dad, or brother or sister, or your son or daughter.

People who think that because they aren’t doing anything wrong they should not protect their privacy are just aiding and helping with the violations against our Constitutional rights, committed by the powers that be. It will only get worse. 


[Dolphins] Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much the wheel, New York, wars and so on whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man for precisely the same reason.

You may be lucky to live here, but I got here by working my ass off. I never was lucky at anything.


I just had dinner at Springer’sl, excellent food and great service. Give the place a try, you will like it!

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[Dry Tortuga Vacation] I am a yacht charter captain and would love to have you aboard my 50′ sailing cat yacht and you can do all the smoking drinking and running around naked for the week you mentioned. Standard 7 day charter is $14,000 a week all inclusive. Please don’t forget to tip the crew 15%. 

[No No Name Stuff] I damn near fell out of my chair when I reached the bottom of Sunday’s edition of Coconut Telegraph. Following FTR’s article … Nothing! I assume that since No Name Key still has no name, it’s not worth mentioning anymore. It’s about time! Thank you.


[Sewers] If all the residents on our street were to leave town except for me, would my little pump (that is equivalent to a 60 watt light bulb) be powerful enough to push all my crap to where ever it has to end up?  I am going to assume that it would have to make it somewhere down the line to a pumping station.



[Hip Classics] I have just discovered a whole new dimension to classical sculpture. If you dress the sculptures as hipsters it gives them an awesome new look. They become contemporary and totally badass. Needless to say, they look a lot more human. They look like people who we can picture in our lives. Link

[Unfettered Travel] I suggest you try Island WindJammers. They run sailing vessels that carry about 100 – 120 passengers and they go to the smaller Caribbean islands that the cruise ships can not get to. Link



Elizabeth Warner receiving award from Liz Young The Key West Writers Guild is pleased to announce that Elizabeth Warner has garnered this year’s writing award for her novel, “The Interview.” The work is a provocative and compelling story of a bi-racial relationship set in Flint, Michigan against the background of the 1960’s civil rights struggle. Elizabeth has Published a Novella, Perdita, “The Lost One” on Amazon. Link

I believe that Mosquito Control has finally gained some control in Eden Pines. (Ed: At corporate headquarters too! I can go out and water the poppy fields again.)

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Why you probably aren’t getting the internet speeds you’re paying for and how to tell. Link


Is it just me or do all the new cars look alike?



[How to back up a boat trailer] When backing the boat trailer, put your hand on the bottom of the steering wheel. When your hand moves left or right, the trailer will go in the same direction.

[Developers] I would really like to give Rick Scott the benefit of the doubt as to why he vetoed the Balfour Beatty tax exemption bill. So glad he did. Did he really see how unfair it is to retroactively exempt this billion dollar corporation from paying its fair share of property taxes and was as sickened as some of us by the legislatures cave in to Balfour Beatty’s lobbyists with that bill. I wonder how much they could sell their Southernmost Point housing for or what they might put there if they redevelop that waterfront property.Great place for a swanky new hotel that would be “economic development “. Totally evading the normal GSA process of accessing properties.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years.

mouse trap an



Redneck mouse trap.

[Narcissistic personality disorder] After you read this you will definitely know we have to fire everybody in our government and half the bartenders we know! Link

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In 1885 the Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City in pieces as a do-it-yourself kit.

[“I met the Capt. Doom and Gloom Guy”] I doubt it if he walks upright!

If your wife or girlfriend ever asks, “If I was to arrange a threesome for you for your birthday, who would you like me to invite?” Never give her two names. Ever!




[Water Building Resort] Dubai: Solar-powered teardrop building to suck water from air. Link

I didn’t plant trees under power lines! The trees were there a 100 years before the line were installed, you nit.

flamingo drink an

[Gin and Tonic] The first known treatment (and preventative) for malaria was quinine-a bitter substance derived from the bark of the cinchona tree. When British troops stationed in India balked at drinking a bitter dose of water laced with quinine, the British East India Company created a cocktail to help the medicine go down. This cocktail, a mixture of water, sugar, lime juice, and gin, became the beloved modern cocktail, the Gin and Tonic. If you’re trying to fight off malaria with a trip to the bar, however, we’d suggest a stop by the pharmacist’s first. Modern tonic water contains radically less quinine than its historical counterpart. 

Deer Ed, Per your own rules, don’t you have the publish the email of the person who wrote in about the “Mosquito Control Leadership”? Are you protecting a friend from losing their job at Mosquito Control? (Ed: I erred.)


To the person looking for the unfettered cruise try Alaska it is nothing like the things you mentioned

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[Captain Doom and Gloom] I agree to a national sales tax, but not to a flat income tax. Actually both are barely workable because the low renters will start an underground barter system and the government will still go broke. The real problem is there is no national debt, it is just a shifting of power structures to keep us peasants in tow. Demand to see this unpaid debt online. Just like the Yellow Pages, 90% of the entries are useless eaters.

This is not the NWO, it is and always has been the Old World Order and will continue forever because the Rulers want it this way and we sheeple cannot do a damn thing about it and should not because we do not have the brains to run our own lives or to dream about running this planet efficiently!  Live with it and do not make waves!  Link

What is the difference between an artist, a politician, an entertainer, a bartender, a holy man, your boss, Ed, and a farmer? The farmer is the only  important item in the list.

religion politics zone

Donald Trump was on Fox News and he said that all you people are not “focusing” enough on all of the Obama “scandals” that are going on right now.  So you better learn to multi-task and work on your attention spans, too.

Syria announced today they are sending troops to the US to back two disparate groups who have waged war against the US. “It is similar to what we face at home with the western backed rebels and the anti-western jihadists,” Assad said while watching a football game on the pitch. Enemies of the US agree with Assad. Russia’s Putin said, “We back Syria. Any football owner that accuses a head of state of stealing a Super Bowl ring should have his country’s leadership destroyed.

The US rebels, the urban gangs and the 2nd amendment gun nuts agree. A joint declaration of the thugs released the following: “While some liberals may think we do not have anything in common, our love of guns far outweighs our differences. God bless America.”

an_book_dead[No Bible] On this date in 1963, the U.S. Supreme Court issued its decision in Abington Town School District v. Schempp, 374 U.S. 203, barring bible reading in public schools. The case, brought by Ed Schempp and his family, challenged a Pennsylvania law requiring that “at least ten verses from the Holy Bible shall be read, without comment, at the opening of each public school on each school day. Any child shall be excused from such Bible reading, or attending such Bible reading, upon the written request of his parent or guardian.” Ed, with his wife Sidney and two of their three children, brought suit. (The eldest, Ellery, graduated from high school so was dismissed from the case, but was the original instigator of the complaint.) The religious exercises were broadcast into each class through a public address system, and were conducted under the supervision of a teacher by students. The broadcasts concluded with a recitation of the Lord’s Prayer, with students asked to stand and repeat the prayer in unison, following a flag salute. Joined to the Abington case wasMurray v. Curlett, challenging a similar practice adopted by the Baltimore school board requiring reading, without comment, a chapter from the “Holy Bible” and/or the Lord’s Prayer to open the school day. The Abington decision followed the 1962 Engel v. Vitale Supreme Court decision, ruling classroom prayer unconstitutional in public schools.

“The place of religion in our society is an exalted one, achieved through a long tradition of reliance on the home, the church and the inviolable citadel of the individual heart and mind. We have come to recognize through bitter experience that it is not within the power of government to invade that citadel, whether its purpose or effect be to aid or oppose, to advance or retard. In the relationship between man and religion, the State is firmly committed to a position of neutrality.” —Justice Clark, delivering the majority opinion in Abington Town School District v. Schempp (1963). 

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right only grey

Yessir, you’ve just gotta love the caliber of Democrat governance. Here’s just a few things to “love”.

In Chicago, a city ruled by Democrats, with some of the toughest gun laws in the US, there were 7 murdered and 30 wounded in a variety of crime scenes over the weekend, through 11:30 AM Sunday.  As you read this the number has probably grown.

privacy_500Over the weekend we learned that Obama’s National Security Agency has announced that it does not need court authorization to listen to domestic phone calls. NSA has deemed that the contents of a phone call can be accessed “simply based on an analyst deciding that.” If the NSA wants “to listen to the phone,” an analyst’s decision is sufficient, without any other legal authorization required. Deer Friends, that is shocking, but it gets worse.

Because the same legal standards that apply to phone calls also apply to e-mail messages, text messages, and instant messages, NSA analysts can also access the contents of Internet communications without going before a court and seeking approval. Damn these Democrat hi jinks are so fun.

Then there is the comedy that is playing out in Indiana. Four officials of the Indiana Democrat party, all obviously huge Obama fans, colluded prior to the 2008 Presidential primary. They decided that they really wanted Obama on the ticket to oppose Hillary. So they got together and forged thousands of names on the primary petition. They all have been convicted or plead guilty. Sentencing will be this week, they face up to 75 years in prison.  Man, you’ve really got to love Obama to risk that. Some Hoosiers call the affair an act of a long standing Democrat culture of corruption in that neck of the woods. One must wonder who would now be our President if only these 4 Democrat officials had obeyed the law.

Last, but certainly not least, you’ve really got to be mesmerized by Obama’s upcoming trip to Africa. Deer Friends, it will not be a visit, it will be an invasion. It is estimated that it will cost one hundred million dollars.

Some of the logistics are very interesting.

The Obama invasion will require many military cargo planes airlifting 56 support vehicles, including 14 limousines, and three trucks to carry bulletproof glass panels to cover the windows where the first family is set to stay. A Navy aircraft carrier or amphibious ship with a fully staffed medical trauma center will be stationed offshore in case of an emergency.

Fighter jets will fly in shifts to provide around-the-clock protection over the president’s airspace. The trip will reportedly involve hundreds of Secret Service agents. What the hell, it’s only money. “It’s great the King” (thanks Mel Brooks)

Speaking of money, long time Democrat controlled Detroit is in nose deep trouble. It’s out of money and it’s trying to negotiate huge debt write offs from its creditors.  Detroit’s pension funds are on the edge of collapse, pensioners can expect up to a 90% cut in their pensions.  That’s not funny. It looks nearly certain that Detroit will be forced to join many other Democrat governed governmental entities in bankruptcy. For more on this check out: Link

4th17Part 2) While you’re trying to decide whether the at will wire tapping and snooping of Obama’s NSA is appropriate, please read the 4th Article of our Bill of Rights:

“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”

FYI, the issue of if telephone interceptions is a search and seizure has been settled. In Katz vs the US (1967), the Supreme Court ruled that an illegal search had occurred when the government wiretapped a telephone booth without judicial authorization.. The Court’s reasoning was that 1) Charles Katz expected that his phone booth conversation would not be broadcast to the wider world and 2) society believes that expectation is reasonable.

Please think about it. Personally, I was a lukewarm supporter of the Patriot Act, but now the Obama administrations implementation has turned it into a monster that is swallowing our liberties.

Respectfully submitted: