2014 March

Monday, March 31, 2014

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media
Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures
Published Daily by Noon Since 2002 – No Saturday Edition

font31[“Font size”] Yes, a larger font will be appreciated.  Thanks.

I’m not complaining, but if you were to make the print one or two cute hairs bigger, I won’t be upset, thanks.

Yes, please, larger font size.

Yes please if you could go one size larger in font.  I’m squinting and I have my glasses on! Love the new colors —calm, cool and Keysey.

Ed, yes the new font size is way too small and for some reason un-expandable on a iPad or IPhone as it used to be. What was wrong with it before? It is not improved, but ruined. Hopefully  it’s  temporary. Most of your readers are vision challenged simply because of age. Me too. Thanks for reconsidering this because you’re CT is generally awesome.

Please use a larger font. Perhaps bold would make it even easier to read?  I appreciate your hard work. Have a great week!

Dear Ed, Yes to a larger font!  14 pt is all right–18 is wonderful. Demographic answer:   I’m #2.   I live in Lower Keys

I would vote for the font to be a little larger also. It does seem smaller than before.

If you don’t like the font size on this site go back up North where you came from.  To heck with you people who come down here and whine and try to change things.

CT Font size: 12 point is fine, but with the darker background, the fonts should be 255 Black. You could also try Arial Bold for a day. Also teach those people how to reset their Windows to see larger fonts.

Would the rest of you readers like a larger font? Yes, please!

One size larger might be nice but my posts don’t seem to matter anyway so just ignore this one too.

(Ed: These are some of the reader’s comments requesting a larger font size. I get it, and will try, but I think you’ll be scrolling until your fingers hurt.)

Chamber-ad 760w

Some of you guys have to learn the difference between “gun nuts” and “nuts with guns”.

water drop dancing

[Water] Big Pine Key uses an average of over 370,000 gallons per day of fresh water piped about 100 miles down from Florida City. That 370,000 gallons a day gets fairly evenly distributed near the surface through irrigation, car washing, and the drain fields of on site wastewater treatment systems, be they septic or aerobic. That 370,000 gallons per day serves to replenish the freshwater lens on Big Pine or provides substitute freshwater for the daily vegetation uptake and transpiration.

Any central sewer collection system at all on Big Pine will remove 370,000 gallons per day of vital fresh water, rain or shine, dry season or wet. The impact gets worse when you consider that the most water of that average is distributed during the winter dry season when it is most needed. Look for big environmental changes and the extinction of endangered species as FKAA meddles with the existing ground water balance to make more money while they claim to be helping the environment. It’s always only about the money when you dig deep enough.

DEF: Captain Doom and Gloom n, Someone who is so insecure, he has to bash everything and everyone so he can get at least the tiniest twinge in his pants.

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Key West sunrise.

[“Keys survivalist should have seeds stockpiled for a survival garden”]  Then go buy a few hundred tons of growing dirt from the mainland and a few hundred pots to grow in. Sand and coral don’t make it for a garden. Oh yeah, I forgot: and pray for rain!

Nira-Tocco 760w

[Ukraine] America defending Russians from Russia? I never thought I’d see the day.



[“Keys survivalist garden”] The soil in the Keys is poor for growing most food, except perhaps coconuts, papaya, Spanish and Key limes. Also there is a certain amount of acreage required to support one person, not to mention the fresh water required. What the Keys could do is trade fish, shellfish, some fruit, perhaps a few deer steaks, plenty of chickens and iguana tails — for vegetables, grains and other meat like pork and beef in Homestead. Many of the huge sugarcane fields up near Lake Okeechobee region would likely be converted to various food production and there likely would be a huge population shift to that area.

Anyway, if stores run out of food it would be a rough time until something was grown and produced, likely a lot of fish, coconuts and papaya in the Keys until then. Of course the real Keys survivalist will have excellent fishing skills, a desalination system and lots of Soylent on hand to laugh while everyone else runs to the mainland.

This is from a relative who lives close to the mud disaster in Washington State:

I would guess you have been hearing about the latest Washington mudslide. It is about the worst disaster I can ever remember and ranks with a couple of the hurricanes that have hit Florida and the gulf coast –and Mt. St Helens.   This morning they are reporting 17 confirmed dead, a few more found and still to be identified, and 90 people on the missing list!   Hugh crews of volunteers, and emergency personnel are still digging through the mud – many dead will never be found.   There was a report yesterday that search dogs seemed confused, apparently because they were detecting so many dead people still buried.

The slide was due east of us about 30 miles in the Darrington, Arlington, Oso area.   The little town of Oso was completely wiped out.   Apparently the side of the hill that collapsed was completely saturated due to our never ending rains this year.   When the collapse occurred the wall of mud is almost like water and flows quickly downhill – people had no chance to get out of the path of the flowing mud.   Huge trees flowed with the mud and rocks.   Homes were no match for the flowing mud and were easily swept away to become part of the river of mud. The slide flowed across and blocked a river for a time and there were worries that water would build up and form a lake up river and could trigger another disaster when it broke through the slide.   That didn’t happen as the river cut a new path through the mud slide.  The disasters here and across the country never seem to end.  

The web site link is a before and after picture of the area affected. Link



[Code Enforcement] Here’s a good example of a property owner who needs to trim back his foliage from over the canal.

[“Seven Mile Bridge”] It was made into an obsolete junk pile years ago when the new bridge was built. The only reason to keep dumping our hard earned tax dollars into that pathway, is to support the junta and their buddies with easy made profits, just like the dog parks, the beautification scams, the ridiculous changes to the original bike paths, and any other scams they can stick up our cans to make us poorer. When are they going to tell us that all the new hotels and abusement parks will be paid for by the locals?


[Oil] what happens if I put too much oil in my car when I changed the oil? I put in about a quart too much.



Who says the chickens are gone from Winn dixie. I took this photo yesterday.

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[“Little Torch cottages are a vast improvement over the RVs”]  Now this is an oxymoron if ever.  Which is worse, trailer trash or shack trash?


[Seeds] Every Keys survivalist should have a gun, several guns, long guns, shot guns and hand guns. Why, to protect your seeds. Pay attention Polly-Anna. You better remember one thing. There are mean folks out there. They will take your stuff and hurt your family. This is not up for a vote or discussion. It is the way it is.

[Dating in the Keys] Put some cocaine around your nose when you go out.  That will attract a lot of women to you.


[Elect George] I’ll also likely vote for George too – I know the grinder pump folks have an axe to grind, but I think they’ve been heard out.  I remember all George did to counter the ‘gang of three’ and sincerely believe he’s trying his best, but none of us are perfect



Jim DeFede, host of TV’s Sunday morning Facing South Florida, is so fat that only his mouth moves while the rest of him remains immobile. That aside, he is a very good talk show host and it is a very good program. He was a good reporter until the Miami Herald fired him for illegally taping a conversation.

[“Seven Mile Bridge”] The way I learned it was that if you used data, you started by telling everyone where it came from, how it was gathered and gave references that could be checked. Data “told by Friends of the Seven Mile Bridge ” hardly inspires confidence.

That brings to my mind the picture of a cigarette salesman telling me  that his data shows no link between smoking and health. (By the way, that negative comment about my reading ability designed to make people doubt my credibility is an elementary school debating tactic.)

Try it for yourself,  take your “data”, the number of days in a year, hours of daylight in a day, number of rainy days, days in the tourist season etc., put them all in your calculator in as many sensible ways as you can, and see if your results pass the “smell test”. If that doesn’t work for you, then continue insulting the people who disagree with you.

elephant happy


[“What do elephants eat”] Watching the video of the elephant eating a cellphone reminded me of the time I fed an elephant. I bought a hand of bananas from the elephant vendor and sauntered up to the elephant and offered him a banana, holding the rest of the hand behind my back. The elephant ignored the offered banana and almost knocked me over when it reached behind me to grab the hand. I learned that feeding elephants is not the same as feeding a gentle Key deer and elephants are big and strong, really big, and really strong!

 [“Cure found for global warming”]  It has already started with the meltdowns of the nuclear reactors.

Flea-Market 760w

[Hates Marathon] People that go on the 7 Mile Bridge should at least be given an opportunity to give a contribution towards the bridge’s maintenance. The City of Marathon, no matter how much they spend will always look like a dump.  They need to be more selective about the types of businesses they’ll allow to be located on US1.  Also they need to stop allowing the dump trucks to park on US1. Marathon reminds me of that old saying, “Putting lipstick on a monkey, it’s still a monkey.” Planting new landscaping in Marathon does not change it’s dump status.

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[Escape Convict] Did they ever catch the felon who escaped from the Big Pine Road Prison last year or the year before?

How does it happen that 4 of the 5 Monroe County Commissioners reside in incorporated cities? That is like Mexicans making laws, passing taxes, and authorizing expenditures for the US, with some of those expenditures going to Mexico. The Seven Mile Bridge renovation expenditure and future commitment on a bridge to nowhere with one end in Marathon is a good example. They can pass an onerous unincorporated County Ordinance that does not even apply to them.

That being said, thank God we have Danny Kohlage and Heather Carruthers doing a decent  to commendable job in fairly representing outside of their neighborhood. You can’t say that for the new “gang of three”, but at least the two others have ethics.

Manley-deBoer 760w

Is it true that gov Chris Christie hired a bunch of lawyers to exonerate him for Trafficgate and they did just that? 

lobster waving


Lobster season ends tonight at midnight. Goodbye fresh lobster and all the fun we had catching you this year.

CheapShots will be in the Keys April 4-7 doing their low cost veterinary services. There is a $25 rebate on their already low price on a year’s worth of Comfortis flea meds for their clients. Call 305-390-0325 or go to for more info and schedules.

Dennis-Ward 760w

Happy birthday Al Gore. Thank you for trying to make people aware of the environment.



Dump the Pumps, Inc has been accepted as a client by a mainland law firm who is well experienced and successful at handling this sort of lawsuit. DEP has not even answered simple questions so no doubt the lawsuit will be authorized this week. Also the permits for Big Pine will be challenged, successfully. Let’s see what EPA thinks of DEP not enforcing rules handed down by EPA in a National Marine Sanctuary using EPA funding. All this will take money to keep feeding the legal system.

The extra expense of grinders in the system will cost everyone in their rates, so regardless of what system you are slated for it is in your best interest to fight grinders.At least donate $100 if you can. If litigation can delay the sewers for only 75 days, it would mean a savings of $100 to you in sewer fees if you only use a thousand gallons of water a month. Excess money will be refunded proportional to the donation. Donations should be tax deductible because it is a non-profit and the appropriate papers are being filed. You can donate with a check or on line at  All of us volunteers are working for free, for you. Make it worthwhile by feeding the legal machine to finish the fight. Thanks, neighbor.

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[“Catholic church on the hot seat”] Someone didn’t believe the Church has problems because I failed to provide fifty years of proof, transcripts, and other documentation to prove my assertion. Sir, the Coconut Telegraph is not a court of law or ecumenical council, it is simply opinion based on years of information and observation. Calling for proof goes beyond this forum. If you aren’t aware of the Church’s many problems you haven’t been paying attention.


[Dumbing Down of America] In 100 years we have gone from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to remedial English in college.

help wanted sm

[Help Wanted] “Old people seeking employment” Do not give up people over (any age insert here). I’m over that age and still rock. All it takes to get a job is be positive, honest, and in most cases, show up for what you signed on for. Come on in, dress decent, speak clearly, be able to fill out a job app., love life and realize you get what you give. I do not require an employee to be tech savvy, quite the opposite as you have no one on one with customers staring at a screen all day, doing personal business, texts, etc..  And I pay more than most. Apply at Summerland Sandal & Surf. Summerland Key. Classified Ads > Help Wanted

Feeding sharks in state water is only illegal as it applies to shark diving operations.  Dumping of fish carcases into open water has never been deemed illegal.  No one ever said that it was Illegal to kill the sharks, only that it was wasteful, childish and tragic. Fortunately the vast majority of anglers are repulsed by that kind of behavior.

Springers 760w

[“Lucky’s Landing”] Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I too think the Lucky’s Landing houses, just like the development on Stock Island, are nice.  Affordable housing is tough, but it’s nice when it’s done very responsibly.

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lady looking over jail bars[“Big bull shark”] Not only might it be fun (not for me) to feed sharks by hand, or Key Deer by hand or even toss alligators marshmallows, it is wrong, probably against the law and if an FWC officer sees you doing any of the above you are going to be toast.

Nice to enjoy Florida nature, but please do it as an informed citizen and viewer.  Hand feeding is against Mother Nature, wrong and destructive to Native animals in their habitat – all native animals. By human feeding if animals lose fear of humans and expect food when they see one  = equals = bite.

Please citizens of Florida don’t be stupid all the time. Be a nature steward and watch, don’t touch and never, ever feed.

I now live upstate near Homosassa Springs no longer in Eden Pines.  Those of us that live here in Homosassa don’t speed our boats through Manatee idle zones. If you choose to be an idiot FWC, NPS or some other agency officer will resolve your rudeness, carelessness and brain farts and show you to a nice cell

Johnsons 760w

[“Curious as to the demographics of the CT readers”] This poster lives in Eden Pines in a house the family built in 1962. I’ve been a snowbird ever since and love it, but only Oct to May.


Hiding the Lockheed plant during World War II in plain view. Link

Accurate 760w

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And no doubt they are big ones.

If you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges.

politics-zone 760w

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from the right

police writing ticketLast week Florida news outlets were reporting that the Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles was considering giving bonuses to FHP Troopers who wrote the most tickets. The reports suggested that the more tickets written, the bigger the bonus.

The news reached Governor Rick Scott. He squashed the idea. He said: “”The idea that FHP would tie officer bonuses to the number of tickets they write is absolutely outrageous and wrong.” “All state worker bonuses should be based on better – not worse – outcomes for the people of Florida who pay the taxes to fund state government.” It’s worth noting that the Florida Police Benevolent Association, a police union also spoke out against the idea.

Part 2) Governor Scott has just announced a huge increase in funding for cancer research in Florida. Scott included $80 million for cancer research in his budget proposal, a $30 million increase, most of it aimed at helping cancer research hospitals in Florida attain the National Cancer Institute designation as a comprehensive cancer center. Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa is currently the only such center in the state, and one of 41 in the nation.  During Charlie Crist’s term as Florida’s governor, cancer research funding was slashed. Link

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