2015 August

Saturday, August 29, 2015


Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)

national politics an(Click here)



Wetstock 11, Sunday Sept 6. Be there or be square!

Those of us living in the Lower Keys soon succumb to severe potation, or “Keys Disease“.
richard-lionheart[Richard Lion-Heart and the Third Crusade 1191] “Most sacred Sultan, saving your Majesty, this charge is unjust, for we fought with all our strength and did our best to destroy them. We met their fiercest attacks, but it was of no avail. They are armed in impenetrable armour which no weapon can pierce so that our blows fell as it were upon a rock of flint. And further, there is one among their number superior to any man we have ever seen; he always charges before the rest, slaying and destroying our men. He is the first in every enterprise, and is a most brave and excellent soldier; no one can resist him or escape out of his hands. They call him Melech Ric (King Richard). Such a king as he seems born to command the whole earth; what then could we do more against so formidable an enemy?”

Such is the description which Geoffrey, in his hero-worship, puts into the mouth of the vanquished leaders of the Saracens, and Saladin, no longer making light of the danger that threatened his realm, promptly destroyed all his more important fortresses, such as Joppa and Ascalon, for fear Melech Ric should occupy them. Link

Today is the tenth anniversary of hurricane Katrina, the hurricane that cleansed New Orleans making it a better place today.


A cop was murdered while getting gas in Texas. The murderer shot him in the back and while the cop lay dying on the ground the coward kept shooting him. My innate prejudice assumed the killer was black.

I’m upset that the black community riots when an armed black man is killed by police during a confrontation, but is mute when a white cop is shot in the back while the cop is getting gas. Video

[FKAA Crooks] Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority (FKAA) board member Melva Wagner has not attended in person about eight of the last 20 board meetings in the past two years and she is receiving a homestead property exemption on the home where she lives in Naples. Wagner was absent for two of those eight meetings and participated via conference call in the other six meetings. Board members earn $439 a meeting and receive health benefits.
ben franklin electricity[How to Get Electricity] Make a small cross of two light strips of cedar, the arms so long as to reach to the four corners of a large, thin silk handkerchief when extended; tie the corners of the handkerchief to the extremities of the cross, so you have the body of a kite; which being properly accommodated with a tail, loop, and string, will rise in the air, like those made of paper; but this being of silk, is fitter to bear the wet and wind of a thunder-gust without tearing. To the top of the upright stick of the cross is to be fixed a very sharp-pointed wire, rising a foot or more above the wood. To the end of the twine, next the hand, is to be tied a silk ribbon, and where the silk and twine join, a key may be fastened. This kite is to be raised when a thunder-gust appears to be coming on, and the person who holds the string must stand within a door or window, or under some cover, so that the silk ribbon may not be wet and care must be taken that the twine does not touch the frame of the door or window. As soon as any of the thunder clouds come over the kite, the pointed wire will draw the electric fire from them, and the kite, with all the twine will be electrified, and the loose filaments of the twine will stand out every way and be attracted by an approaching finger. And when the rain has wet the kite and twine, so that it can conduct the electric fire freely, you will find it stream out plentifully from the key on the approach of your knuckle. At this key the phial may be charged: and from electric fire thus obtained, spirits may be kindled, and all the electric experiments which are usually done by the help of a rubbed glass globe or tube, and thereby the sameness of the electric matter with that of lightning completely demonstrated. ~B. Franklin
[Tennessee Williams Photos] Wendy Tucker, guardian of the late Don Pinder’s professional photograph collection, recently presented Dennis Beaver, curator, Tennessee Williams Exhibit, with formal permission to use Pinder’s photographs of Tennessee Williams in the Exhibit.  Pinder, Chief Photographer for The Key West Citizen for many years,  bequeathed his extensive collection of photographs to Tucker for safe keeping and for use for historical purposes.  Many of the photos are on view at the Exhibit that is open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Saturday at 513 Truman Avenue.  For more information, go to


Hopefully Tropical Storm Erica will be a mere nuisance rather than a real menace. Be careful friends and remember, it’s not an emergency until you run out of rum!

[FKAA Automatic Payment Reminder] This is a reminder of your upcoming automatic payment:
Account Number: 8475465-43843274584376, Payment Date: September 21, 2015, Payment Amount: $10,181,200.40
[Legalize Prostitution Key West Style] That ‘art of enlightenment’ has been going on ever since a chick could barter for free food, shelter and get a horny dummy to protect her. Then the chicks turned it into ‘marriage’ because only the good looking ones could barter and the uglies had to slave. Today it is no different except they can get all they want by manipulating someone called a lawyer. Taxes are the ticket for legalizing prostitution not rights, or to make them safer or freer. Don’t forget the male escorts too! Who is kidding who about this scam? I cannot wait to see the holiday rates, the volume discounts, the Black Friday sale prices. Happy Hours will be something else.
shinola29Be aware of the Shinola Gang.  They have managed to infiltrate every crook and cranny of our local, state and federal governments through elections, appointments, nepotism and cronyism.  This group of thugs derives its name from the Shinola Shoe Polish due to their belief the average citizens does not know shit from shinola.  (The early shoe polish product had the look, color and texture of human feces.)  Members of the Shinola Gang are so certain their perspectives and opinions are the correct one that no amount of facts will convince them otherwise.  These like-minded gang members have little regard for the rule of law and work very diligently to circumvent the law any time it gets in the way of their vision.  These gang members only care about their own individual and collective agendas and have total disregard for ethics, public service and good government.  The Shinola Gang numbers and their arrogance have increased dramatically over the last decade and they have now taken control of every aspect of the American way of life from their elected and bureaucratic positions of power.  Here in Monroe County, some of us are waking up from our shinola snooze and now realize just how seriously how local government has been infiltrated
[VA] I’m going to get one doctor’s appointment this year and I was looking forward to it. I finally got a good doctor that didn’t try to kill me like the last one when I got a phone call from the V.A. yesterday telling me that my doctor had been transferred to another clinic. I said, “No problem, I’ll just go there.” They told me that he had taken over another doctor’s caseload and I was being assigned to another doctor. Some female named Shah. Probably with offshore credentials. Needless to say, I’m pissed. Basically, I’m on my own. VA healthcare is a f**king joke. A sad joke, but a joke nonetheless. I’d be better off as an illegal immigrant. Oh well, this is just one more difficulty to get thru, and I will. But I’m not going quietly.


Chopped 1993 Saab

What a joy reading the CT – between Frida, Tents, and the crucifix it was very funny. I’d say more, but I’m still hitting the 1 button for this hotline.


When an atheist called him a “moron” for believing in God, Dr. Ben Carson responded with one brilliant line that put the atheist in his place. “I believe I came from God, and you believe you came from a monkey,” he told the individual, “and you’ve convinced me you’re right.”

Did you know it is illegal to record audio of a cop when he confronts you, but it is perfectly legal to film him. How odd?


UFO caught on tape.

[Storm Claims] As we enter the Hurricane Season, all of us at Johnsons Insurance Services are prepared to assist you in the claims/recovery process should our area be affected by a storm event. As part of our disaster recovery plan, in the event our phone system is damaged or down, our calls will be forwarded to us so that we may serve you in the same courteous efficient manner that you have grown accustomed to. Link
[Key West: World’s Largest Outdoor Insane Asylum] Sometimes I sit and wonder why I’m not in a mental institution. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize maybe I already am.


Don’t forget the Ukulele DIY Orchestra at Coconuts.

[Preparation] As we enjoy the quiet time down here, be aware that they are coming. Not the walking dead but something much worse: snowbirds. Right now it is getting cooler up north and they have begun their preparations for the annual trek south. The yip dogs and wife have been groomed, the 200 pounds of Bob Evans sausages and other northern necessities have been purchased. The black socks and sandals have been packed as well as the XL tank tops and stained baggy shorts. Forget prep for hurricanes, begin your prep for the snowbirds now.


Trump pinata

Neighbors weigh in on Las Vegas medical marijuana dispensary opening. Video



Redneck selfie stick

The doctor told me to stop masturbating and when I asked why he said, “Because I am trying to examine you.”
Everyone knows the solution to Congressional do-nothings is term-limits. With term limits politicians will work at governing and not on their reelection. Term limits will never happen unless the American people force it to happen.


1957 Chevrolet Nomad. Not your daddy’s station wagon!

I noticed that on the 8/26/15 FKAA Board meeting, they finally approved $50k to connect to Marathon central sewers, so maybe they will finally go off the cesspits and septic tanks. Also they approved a contract for an independent audit! I guess bad press is their only motivation to do the right thing. “Whatever works”, I say.


[Horny] This Asian beauty was at a local watering hole last night. All the usual suspects were hitting on her. I think she said she was a little horny.

[New Reef] This week, a team of university, state, and federal scientists is exploring a little known deep reef, Pulley Ridge, where spectacular plate coral colonies blanket the seafloor and red groupers actually help create habitat.

Scientists believe this ecosystem, which lies 33 miles northwest of the western most boundary of the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary, serves as a source of invertebrate and fish larvae riding the Loop Current’s easterly and southward curvature from Florida’s coast to the sanctuary.

The deepest known photosynthetic coral reef off the continental U.S., Pulley Ridge is home to giant barrel sponges and largely undisturbed plate corals. Nearby, pits in the seafloor created by red groupers make for a complex habitat that supports a wide range of other species – including colorful fish such as the purple reef fish and tasty ones such as vermillion snapper. Link



Whenever you get too worked up about politics, religion, money or life overall just remember where you are.

dump-blackout[Dump] The person that compiled the great list of environmental crimes in the Cudjoe Regional wastewater system on the 8-19-15 CT asked why the Cudjoe landfill is on the National Radiation Monitoring database. I would sure like to know, too, although I have a couple of ideas why. I went looking for the database that listed Cudjoe but had no success finding it. Would the person who posted that please leave a link or source for further investigation?

Speaking of mysteries, if you go to Google earth and zoom into the Cudjoe plant, you will see 2013 imagery. If you go to the lower left and request 2014 imagery, you will find that the treatment plant is still blacked out!

What I did discover in searching is that the Cudjoe blimp packs a 100,000 watt radar! Those plant operators may slow-cook? Also, this same site had details about distressed marine life that the author seemed to imply was linked to the blimp. Here it is: Link



You know you’re too drunk to drive when the tree you swerve to miss is actually you air freshener.

NJ-Muslim[Know Thine Enemy] Allah is great, and that there is nothing else great. He is Reality. Wooden idols are not real; but He is real He made us and protects us; hence We must submit to Allah, and strive after righteousness.” This was to be the keynote of the faith to be known as Islam. After this revelation had come to him, Mohammed continued his life       of thought and meditation for some time, until he was nearly forty years of age. He may have spoken of his conviction to his friends, but he does not seem to have gained much sympathy, and rather he appears to have earned the reputation of a dreamer.

From about 610 the vocation of Mohammed was clear. He was to go forth and preach to a nation of idolaters that there was one God, and only one, who might claim their worship. Never again did he hesitate, nor, on the other hand, did he begin his work in haste. He still sojourned among the mountains, where he was visited by his uncle, Abu Talib, and by the little son of the latter, a boy called Ali.

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to

national politics an(Click here)