2013 December

Sunday, December 29, 2013

CT-Banner7.3.13No Saturday Edition

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champagne balloons


[I Resolve] Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. It’s getting close my friends.

The FKAA has publicly acknowledged that it is totally possible to furnish every home in the Keys with an all gravity system.   So let’s do it and get this grinder pump issue behind us.  After 20 or 30 years of our elected officials jacking around with this thing we are finally nearing the finish line and what happens?  The latest ones manage to find one last way to screw it up.  Give the people what they want not what the BOCC wants.  We are all in this together. 



Coconut water is so similar to blood plasma it can be used intravenously to treat dehydration.

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[Man of the Year] I vote Edward Snowden for Man of the Year of 2013. We all knew we were being spied on, but no one ever guessed the extent of that spying until the brave Snowden told us. That takes bravery knowing that his life will be ruined. Everyone knows that if he used the internal Whistleblower mechanism inside the NSA that we still would not know the extent of their spying. He might have even disappeared. Snowden is a true patriot who is trying to save America from itself.

[Crappy Coffee] People pay a premium for coffee beans excreted by civets. Link
[Spies like US] A mathematician explains how the NSA and hackers crack your encryption used in everyday products. Video

drop splash


A rain drop that falls at the beginning of the Mississippi River will take 90 days to reach the Gulf of Mexico. 

[“Keys guys wearing beards with it being so hot”] Year rounders are accumulated to the higher temperatures. Many of them are retired or already married, thus don’t have a need to impress anyone by being clean shaven. There are more guys than women in the Keys, perhaps guys feel they don’t need to look as young and inviting. Many guys have jobs that looks doesn’t matter or razors irritate their skin. Many of them that are homeless don’t have daily access to bathrooms, razors and mirrors to clean up. With older guys the shaving gets harder as the hairs thicken and grow faster. Some guys girlfriends prefer a bit of a tickle. Lastly it’s just a more relaxed environment in the Keys and one less daily chore the better.
nira tocco realtor 9.12
Bud Clydesdale commercials. Video
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One tree, four years of work and an indescribable amount of talent: that’s what it took to create this incredible masterpiece. A famous Chinese wood carver chopped down a single tree and tirelessly worked on it for over four years to make this piece. Link 

Its reported that 70% of Americans suffer from hemorrhoids. I guess the other 30% enjoy them! 

mosquito giant bites man


[Mosquito Control] Maybe someone from Mosquito Control or the Health Department reads The Coconut. The Big Pine Motel’s pool has a little water in the bottom and looks like a good breeding ground for mosquitoes and doesn’t look like it’s being maintained.  I know there is someone who lives across the street from the pool from Mosquito Control. Please check it out. Thanks.

isaksen-flood-roof 4.23.13
Hey Ed, Since you dumped the Political Section and have all that extra time on your hands, why not bring back Saturday? (just kidding) 
lights_long2360 days til Christmas and my damn fool neighbors already have their decorations up. 



[“Next hurricane leaving vehicle at lowest place”] Insurance companies don’t lose, they just charge more in premiums. And it’s probably not illegal to share claim data with other insurance companies in the interest of fighting fraud and intentional abuse.

[“Keys Guys With Beards in this heat”] I’ve had a neatly trimmed beard since I was 21. I just hate shaving. I’ve never noticed any heat problem on my face. Now as to my crotch, that’s a different story.
For years now we’ve been told to dance like no one’s watching. Turns out an entire government agency has been watching. 

smelly garbage can


[Political Correctness] “Garbage men must hate the days after Christmas” Meaning the holiday’s aftermath. I’m sure these persons hate being referred to as garbage men even more. Since my conscience was raised many years ago I am offended for Trash Collectors, perhaps as much as they are offended, by the less attractive term, garbage men. My trash collector is a friendly, if not jolly fellow, who I enjoy greeting on diurnal rounds. My wife usually gives him a cake or cookies, and I give him a token of my appreciation, additionally. I hope you will henceforth refer to him in a more respectful manner since you obviously are sensitive to his additional workload after the holidays. 

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Grinder Pump Meetings. There are three more grinder pump meetings scheduled. What are they expecting? Every meeting so far has been packed with unhappy citizens protesting the pumps on their lawns. What are they expecting to be different in these next 3 meetings? If they don’t ‘get it’ by now they never will. Dump the pumps!

[Freeware downloads] I use all of these pgs and never had and problems. The YouTube MP3 concerter is particularly useful for adding to my music collection. Link



Fishing out of Parmer’s Resort yesterday. Not as interesting laying on a table, but it was way too rough to stop for photo ops Saturday. But Funyet Charters pulled it out of our … hat.

[Dead Prisoner] Key West’s blue paper reports Thanksgiving Day suspected homeless tourist died of asphyxiation under local police officers, but doubts orchestrated cover up.

mistletoe bear


New Year desktop wallpaper fun. Link 

[Citizen Of The Day Says] She hopes to step up her spearfishing game. ‘I always enjoy coming home to ride around town in search of local color.’ 


Scorpionfish venom put to good use.  Link



New Year’s Eve has a decidedly different take in the Keys. Link

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tower people[WiFi] When two nearby transmitters are using the same frequency, they slow each other down. It could even break network connections altogether. NetStumbler is a free download that lets you see each network around you. It shows the name, signal strength, frequency and more useful info. (Click the blue “netstumbler 0.4.0” link on the right side of the page. It’s under the “downloads” heading.)  When you run NetStumbler, you’ll see all the nearby signals your receiver is picking up. It will list the signal router’s MAC address, SSID, name, channel and speed. You can filter out the networks you see using the Filter tool in the left-hand frame. NetStumbler can also be used to manage and connect to the Wi-Fi signal of your choice. Link

[Snapchat website insecure] Released in September 2011, quickly rose to be a highly used social media service for taking pictures and sending to friends. The snaps (aka: pictures) are really only hidden, not deleted in ten seconds.

The encryption used is flawed, hackers have working exploit. The users, address Book phone numbers uploaded as a “find friends” feature poses security and privacy risk. Snapchat contacted four months ago about multiple vulnerabilities/privacy issues, has refused to comment or fix any of them. Sounds like another tech company + NSA backdoor discovered by hackers. Link 


[“Garbagemen must hate the days after Christmas”] Not my guy. I drop a Benjamin ($100) on him every year at Christmas, and I get great service all year round. No matter how much or little I put out.



Friday’s rainbow over Coconuts.

[FKAA Rebellion] What’s going to happen when the FKAA gestapo shows up at my “NO TRESPASSING” posted property and I don’t allow them access to place a grinder pump on the premises.  Do they just go away?  Do I get arrested?  Do they get a court order allowing them to violate my private property rights?  What if they, against my rights to be secure on and within my property, install the thing anyway and I then refuse to hire an electrical and/or plumbing contractor to do the hook-ups and just leave the thing sit?  Are there plans for punishing homeowners (liens against your property or fines) for failure to comply with their forced grinder pump installation?  What if hundreds of homeowners banded together and rebelled, all agreeing to not allow entry to their property for grinder pump installation?  These things we should know.

anchor golden


[Anchorage] Short shelf life for designated new anchoring areas? A statewide pilot program that allowed creation of the new areas expires in July unless the Florida Legislature acts this spring. Link

This is a Native American Indian weather broadcast straight off of the reservation’s TV station in North Dakota. Finally, a weather report that doesn’t take 10 minutes to explain with multiple graphics and words that you have no clue as to what they mean. This is direct and to the point. Very direct! Video
[“Bearded Ones”] The hair fell off the top of our head and got stuck on our face.
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Duck Dynasty’s recipe for Fried Alligator Balls. Link 

[“How we made it through Wilma”] No one mentioned the most important thing of all, you can buy a small room air conditioner, 110 volts, temporarily hook it up in your bedroom window and run it off your generator for sleeping when everything else is turned off.  Another is, you can turn the fridge off for 8 hours while you sleep, then when you wake, unplug the ac and plug in the fridge. Howver ever since then, I have never even looked at another can of Spaghetti Os. Seems like that was all FEMA had in the way of rations. I also switched to propane for my oven and stove 10 years ago, so I can cook everything without electricity, and it is easy to light.
Aurora over Norway. Video

string phone cans


Ways kids entertained themselves before video games. Link

Misspelling of the Year 2013. Link


[Foot Race] No Name 5k enters 14th year on Jan.11th.  Events

Seasonal grouper closure starts Jan. 1 in Atlantic, Monroe County waters. Several species of grouper will close to recreational and commercial harvest starting Jan. 1 in Florida state waters of the Atlantic, including Monroe County. This seasonal closure includes gag, black, red, yellowmouth, yellowfin and tiger grouper; scamp; red hind; rock hind; coney; and graysby. State waters in the Atlantic are from shore out to 3 nautical miles.

The harvest of these species of grouper in Atlantic state waters will remain closed through April 30, reopening May 1. The harvest closure was established to ensure the long-term sustainability of Atlantic grouper species.

A similar closure will also occur in federal waters of the Atlantic. Tiger grouper is not included in the federal closure.Grouper information, including Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic grouper regulations, is available online. Link

[Hurricanes] Amazingly enough, I made it through an entire week without electricity after Georges.  It was hot and I needed to keep the windows open. Listening to the constant wail of all the generators for a week was nearly as bad as the hurricane itself.  One guy had this huge diesel powered one that made this low frequency throb that made you nauseous after a while.
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[Success is Bad] Extending the unemployment benefits time limit is a good way to redistribute wealth.  The people receiving those benefits will surely go out and spend every bit of that money in your sacred businesses and buy the products your sainted company makes, thus benefiting the serfs that work for you and increasing your blessed profits so you can build an even bigger monstrosity of a house to go with the ones you already have.  How can anyone be against that?
Maybe now that the duck nut guy is back on the air he can say something about Muslims and get the Middle East more fired up than it already is.



This poem was forwarded to me by someone I love. Forward this to your loved ones to share a smile. Happy New Year 2014!

[Some people just didn’t get it] When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand.  Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she’s dating a pussy.  ~Marine Corps General James N. Mattis 
from the right

Deer Friends, the real effects of the ACA aka Democare are nearly upon us.  Prepare to batten down the hatches because a hurricane of canceled policies and pissed off people who can’t see their Docs is about to sweep the land. But that is a topic for another day.  Today, let’s just think about Democare taxes.

med292014 ushers in a wave of new taxes that will be added to your insurance premiums, and onto your income tax bill.  In Alabama, Blue Cross Blue Shield admits that it is adding “Affordable Care Act Fees and Taxes” to customers’ bills. I mention BCBS Ala because most other insurance carriers are not mentioning the tax but are simply folding it into your premium. Look for about a $24 per month hike in the premium.

The new taxes and fees include a 2 percent levy on every health plan, which is expected to net about $8 billion for the government in 2014 and increase to $14.3 billion in 2018.  Then there’s also a $2 fee per policy that goes into a new medical-research trust fund called the Patient Centered Outcomes Research Institute. Insurers pay a 3.5 percent user fee to sell medical plans on the Web site, that fee gets passed on to you.

Americans also will pay hidden taxes, such as the 2.3 percent medical-device tax that will inflate the cost of items such as pacemakers, stents and prosthetic limbs. Those with high out-of-pocket medical expenses also will get smaller income-tax deductions.

The rapacious appetite of d Democrats to raise taxes is insatiable. Until Democare, Americans have been able to deduct medical expenses that exceed 7.5 percent of their annual income. The threshold jumps to 10 percent under ObamaCare, costing taxpayers about $15 billion over 10 years.

If you are a big “earner”, you are selected for special treatment by Democare tax laws.  It’s the new Medicare tax.  Under ObamaCare, individual tax filers earning more than $200,000 and families earning more than $250,000 will pay an added 0.9 percent Medicare surtax on top of the existing 1.45 percent Medicare payroll tax. They’ll also pay an extra 3.8 percent Medicare tax on unearned income, such as investment dividends, rental income and capital gains.  Not too many of us will be impacted by that new tax, but it still takes money out of circulation and further bloats the government.

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