2013 April

Thursday, April 14, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Like Letters To The Editor With Pictures

Classified Ads     Bulletin Board     Business Directory      Contact Us      More …    

an cam borg

[Bombings] In the wake of the bombings, I predict that will will now allow Homeland Security to have a camera covering every inch of development like London does.

Cameras in London: 1 for every 32 people!

[Corn and Digestion] As per yesterday’s corn, accompany Michael Mosley into the strange and mysterious world of the human stomach. Video

an half mast sm[Flags at half-mast] The tragedy in Boston was a horrific event. However, why do we need to lower our American flags to half-mast because of what happened? I realize that may sound insensitive. Three innocent people died but the person or persons responsible gets validation as to the terror caused when we make it so important that we lower the American flag. An average of forty people are murdered each day in the United States. Perhaps we should just keep the American flags at half-mast every day. I proudly fly my American flag at my house 365 days per year.

Trivia question: Why does it take longer to put an American flag at half-mast than at full height? Because to properly put an American flag at half-mast it must first be raised to full height then lowered to half-mast. 

Regarding the assault rifle used at Newtown: The shooter used the Bushmaster .223 to murder 20 children and six adults inside the school; he used a handgun to take his own life inside the school. No other weapons were used in this crime.

Get the facts from the Connecticut State Police. Link

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 



Al Gore is ostracized by the Right and a topic of ridicule for trying to save the planet by unconventional means. 

[County Park] The county whines about not having enough money to do the things they want to do, yet continues to piss away cash like it’s going out of style.

Now they are talking about buying an unused marina.  This, in spite of the fact that they’ve never been able to unload their previous ill-advised real estate purchases.

an_lawnmowing[Misuse of Money] Two weeks ago Public Works sent two tractors with mowers mounted, trailers and trucks and spent two whole days driving up and down Key Deer Blvd.  Since it’s only rained about once a month for the last four months, they didn’t cut six blades of grass between the two of them.

Last week they showed up on Fern Avenue with a tractor and a full chipper crew and spent two entire days trimming back roadside plants that didn’t need trimming in the first place.  If it was not a waste of our money, it would have been comical.  The guy on the tractor made about four passes in each direction trimming back stuff about an inch and a half each time.  Since he really wasn’t trimming anything, the chipper crew had nothing to do and spent most of their time sitting in the air conditioned cab of the truck with the engine running.


Residents of Monroe County are going to have to dig deeper into their pockets for Hickory House II.


[Gun Nuts] The day before yesterday more people in Boston were killed by pressure cookers than guns. I think Obama should get a panel together headed by Biden to draw up a plan to outlaw pressure cookers.

I just saw a Jeep ad on TV shot on the 7 Mile Bridge showing Pigeon Key in the background for about one second.   Perfect reason to spend millions of our tax dollars on that BS bridge-ramp re-building project so the gang that runs the place can drive their trucks out there while laughing at the rest of us suckers.   Keep the Pigeon Key bridge for pedestrians or golf carts as it is now.  Doesn’t anybody notice that Pigeon Key is, on a daily basis, for the most part, deserted?  I hate to be a spoil sport, but  we taxpayers are already flushing $250,000 per year, down the drain, for a ferry boat that mostly just sits there behind the train exhibit.  

If they rebuild the bridge it won’t look like the exciting narrow road many of us remember driving in years past.  But the Pigeon Key mafia is not concerned with any of that.  The rest of us are just a  bunch of sheep to be sheared.


I love the breeze in the Keys? Get some more of this wind!


I got my first bill from Comcast. Three pages of numbers to try to decipher. Impossible. They billed me for two months, but didn’t bother to tell me when I signed up. I hate them already, well I hated them even before I signed up.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.  

an_paul revere lantern

In 1775 Paul Revere began his famous ride, shouting the warning, “The British are  coming!” 

[Key Largo Privatizing Fire] If the public does not take an immediate stance on this, our legislator’s votes will be bought by lobbyists seeking to replace our local fire and ambulance squads with the commercial expensive for-profit companies. Look to the north to see the snow storm coming. New York State’s very capable network of local town Emergency Medical Service squads have been virtually legislated out of business by lobbyists representing Empire, the big guys. They charge $5,000 instead of the old $200 for an ambulance call. And they’ll take your house if you don’t pay the bill within 30 days. The NY legislature gave them that much clout because I think they received kickbacks to do it. Speak now or lose your local squads! That’s what they’re up to in the background. 
[Disgruntled Revolutionary] It seems that SHARK’s board is not too happy with my words. It seems that they think I have gotten my information from somewhere besides my own head. Maybe I forgot to mention that I was your longest running employee besides Katie, but who would expect you to know that. You all never showed your faces. It is a fact that I hold more information on the founding and operations of SHARK than all the board members combined, and my words are factual. It is a fact that I eventually left, due to conflict between the director and myself concerning the bumbling and ignorant nature of the Board, combined with my low wages, set by the board.

It is a fact that the board has put more energy in the past two days in keeping the truth from coming out, than they have put in in the past two years concerning the shelter. It is a fact, as I stated before in my letter on the 16th of April, that the Board was filled with well-to-dos and people of local power. Hence, why the Keynoter was given the full story at their own request, but left out all the bullet points from my letter. It is a fact that the local radio stations were quick to want to seek the truth, and even quicker to back out. Why? Why is it that US 1 Radio is placing a Board member on air this coming Friday, but will not offer me a chance to tell the truth? Why is it that our mayor backed out of support? Why is it that Pirate Radio made initial contact with us in order to set up a petition, just to back out.

What is going on here? Politics at it’s best? There is no place like Monroe County. I am a Florida native, I know when something smells fishy. Is something greater being hidden here? Why is it that SHARK has requested towels (bedding) coming into the summer months, when we never had room for the bedding already there? Why would SHARK want to ship out our animals? Why do you need bedding if you are deporting our dogs? Why are people carrying out sacks of old bedding under the pretenses of washing them at home (posted on SHARK’s facebook)? There is a washer and dryer on premises that even when bedding was piled out into the adjoining room, this washer and dryer was always sufficient, especially seeing that the shelter is currently closed to the public. WTF?

Most of all, why after firing her on the 12th and reading my posting on the Telegraph on the 16th, were board members harassing Katie Bentley from the evening hours of the 16th until 4:30 in the morning on the 17th of April? Telling her she should not have contacted the media, Rather she should have made a plea to the Board? Are you serious? or just stupid? Did they harass the media as well. A late night campaign for damage control? If Katie Bentley was the problem, why stifle her story? It is I who contacted the media, and will continue to do so. It is I that wanted to involve the media 18 months ago, to be stopped by Katie. She had faith in her Board, I certainly did not. It is I that wanted the public to know the lack of presence of this Board of Directors. The lack of support. The lack of compassion for others.

I still know the truth. Harass me. Shut me up.

Not long at all after Katherine Dunn took a position on the Board, Board members attempted to steer the director to send all veterinary care to Dunn’s clinic. The director stated that would not be proper business. Conflict of interest. I say absolutely, especially seeing that Katherine Dunn was present at Katie Bentley’s termination. It is odd that so many were initially supporting Katie Bentley, just to change their tune. It however is not odd that once the Board learned how much info that I posses (I have told only a fraction), and that I am not quiet or meek, that they would go to such lengths to stifle the media, newspapers and radio. Good luck stifling the Internet! Good luck stifling me, I fear you not at all. I have seen your spine. All praises to the Coconut Telegraph!   ~John Wyckoff

P.S. Numerous animals were saved by SHARK employees, I would like to know how many SHARK animals the Board members are currently caring for? Hell, they can’t even call their names. A Board of Directors is not meant to be a club, for those to esteem themselves at the expense of others. 



[Smarter Than You Think Department] Dolphin (the real Flipper not Dorado) asks diver for help. Manta ray night dive, Hawaii. Video

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.  

[Gun Law] “Why bother with any laws because some people are going to break them anyway?”  This is the Senate argument against stricter gun laws.

Mayor Craig Cates, seeking an abbreviated third term of one year, drew more than 250 people to his re-election kickoff party Tuesday evening despite not having an opponent in sight.

If re-elected, the mayoral term will be for one year instead of the typical two, a decision Key West voters made in order to get the city in sync with statewide elections, including the governor’s race. Key West has a four-term, or eight-year, term limit for the mayor’s seat.

As of Tuesday evening, Cates said he hadn’t heard of anyone planning to run against him in October. In his most recent election in 2011, Cates handily defeated two political newcomers with a 70 percent victory, or 2,779 votes.

Cates first took the mayor’s office in 2009, when he defeated fellow Conch, and then-incumbent former Mayor Morgan McPherson with 51 percent of the vote.

an beefburger

[Corn Fed or Grass Fed Beef] Speaking of eating corn check this out. Link 

The Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce April Business Social is Wednesday, April 24 from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.

Co-hosted by Artists in Paradise and PizzaWorks,at Artists In Paradise at the Winn Dixie Shopping Plaza on Big Pine Key. There will be live music featuring Bobby D’ and the No Slack Living Room Bank, libations, hot and cold hors d’oeuvres provided by PizzaWorks and dessert provided by Artists In Paradise. New this year, there will not be a $10.00 charge for admission as decided by the Board of Directors at their last Board Meeting.  Business card and 50/50 drawings will add to the fun.  Please come out and enjoy the opportunity to network with other Lower Keys Chamber businessmen and women.  If you haven’t been to Artist in Paradise Gallery lately, now is the time to take the time and see what these artists have been up to.  

For more information Bulletin Board


[Gun Cuckoos Rule]  That’s cool, we all know there are way too many people on this ball anyway.


Bondage is so much easier now we’re older. I used to have to blindfold her, now I just hide her glasses.


Why should I press 1 for English when you’re just go transfer me to some who doesn’t speak it.

Billy has 32 pieces of bacon. He eats 28. What does he have now? Happiness. Billy has happines!

When I was a kid they didn’t call it Behavioral Disorder. They called it being a brat and you got spanked! 



Key West Orchid Society will have renowned grower, lecturer & guide, Steve Arthur on Sunday at 1 p.m. at the West Martello Tower in K.W.,1100 Atlantic Blvd. The public is welcome.

The prisoners at Gitmo, Cuba are on a hunger strike. Dear Lord, what are we to do! Maybe we should let them suffer and starve to death! But no, we can’t do that, can we?

ct4.18[Captain Doom and Gloom]  “I hope to someday soon see my canal back to its 1980 condition” I hope to see the canals back their original design in 1492, when they WERE NOT DUG OUT FOR DEVELOPMENT! Just  think what these Keys would be like if the developers had finished their digging and house building, Levittown South?  Yacht City?  Tin Can Resorts Inc? Dog save the Keys!

Le County: Why is not our money spent on the necessities of life instead of ridiculous pet projects of the inept junta who want their names to go down in the historically stupid history books as false contributors to our well being? It seems to be the trend to spend the hard earned money of others to glorify their egos rather then support the needed things like sewer systems, except for the proposed hotel hook-ups, the Keys development projects and the Beautification scam…er… project, which leads to the bubba payments for aluminum railings, non-indigenous plantings, ridiculously over painted highways, signage everywhere, dog parks and peasant housing to degrade our million dollar property values so the next league of developers can drive us out for one cent on the dollar. It has been said that the people who live in the Keys do not deserve to live here, but newbie’s are eager to deepen the canals, re-route the proposed four lane monstrosity roadway to the ports and prepare for the coming tourist flow to Cuba as soon as it opens its doors. Don’t you people realize you have elected (if that is the right word) those who are there for the Big Guys and their plans? Don’t you realize you are fodder in their path? No, we the sheeple will not last another five or ten years here, but the rich and infamous will. Enjoy it now, for tomorrow brings higher prices, higher taxes, higher fees for everything and less of what you moved here for. It was nice while it lasted! Where to now, friends? 


[“Things that happened while Ed enjoyed his vacation that FTR will never share”] David Stockman, a Republican wrote in an editorial, “This dynamic reinforced the Reaganite shibboleth that “deficits don’t matter” and the fact that nearly $5 trillion of the nation’s $12 trillion in ‘publicly held’debt is actually sequestered in the vaults of central banks. The destruction of fiscal rectitude under Ronald Reagan — one reason I resigned as his budget chief in 1985 — was the greatest of his many dramatic acts. It created a template for the Republicans’ utter abandonment of the balanced-budget policies of Calvin Coolidge and allowed George W. Bush to dive into the deep end, bankrupting the nation through two misbegotten and unfinanced wars, a giant expansion of Medicare and a tax-cutting spree for the wealthy that turned K Street lobbyists into the de facto office of national tax policy. In effect, the G.O.P. embraced Keynesianism — for the wealthy.”

an lie bible


[Gun Law] If the Right didn’t lie about the bill it would have passed. I went into a gun store and the conversation was alarming. The things they were saying that they believed was the truth were alarming. I don’t believe any one of them knew what was in the bill.

The goofball Republican Senator are “launching” yet another “high level” investigation into Benghazi [ remember that?].  While they are at it why don’t they launch one into why in the Hell we ever invaded Iraq and stayed there for ten years.
[Gun Law] During the State of the Union, President Obama called for a reasonable debate on a set of commonsense measures to help protect our kids by reducing gun violence. That night, Congress stood up and applauded. But now that the cameras are off and they aren’t forced to look the families of Newtown in the face, some in Congress backed up that show of support with action and defeated the measure.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 

Of course Michelle Bachman is a loon, along with all the others who voted for her, as long as they have a different ideology than yours that automatically seems to put them in the “loon” territory.

an_writing99[Becoming Illegal] Dear Senator Harkin (Iowa), My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2008 and 2009.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

[Sign at a Gun Show]  A friend and his brother went to a Gun Show at Reliant Center Saturday, Mar.23, 2013. An all-day big show and lots of guns. Looked like people buying mostly hand guns and a lot were just looking, as they were. Thousands of people were there abd hundreds were signing up and joining the NRA – wow! The best sign they saw at a booth read


Now this is a real background check!

I was wondering how FTR was going to blame the Boston bombings on Obama. Folks, please do some easy research on the Obama/Ayers/Dorhn relationship and if you didn’t think FTR was misleading you before, you will now. This is the first (and probably last) time in a year I’ve commented on FTR’s intentionally misleading and careless posts, many of which contain outright lies. I just wonder why he bothers


right only grey

[Errata] Yesterday I posted that the Obamacare “navigators” were to be paid between $20 and $48 dollars a week. I goofed, it should have read per hour rather than per week.

an_oil-spillPart 1) The posting about an oil spill yesterday was fascinating. That oil spill, or any oil spill, is an assault on our environment. The government licenses all of the pipelines and the government sets standards that are supposed to make such events nearly impossible. The government has the responsibility to regularly inspect all pipelines and to ensure that the operators are hewing to tough standards. We all remember the very recent Deepwater Horizon debacle in the Gulf of Mexico which spewed millions of barrels of crude into the ecosystem. That could not have happened if the Obama government had been properly regulating and enforcing standards.  Certainly the operators are not without blame, but we pay the government to keep us safe.  They failed miserably in the Deepwater Horizon spill and they failed in the Enbridge spills. What the use of paying cops if the cops let the bad guys run rampant?  In the Deepwater Horizon incident the investigation disclosed that Team Obama’s regulators had failed miserably.

I suggest to yesterday’s poster that before he/she gets too lathered up with ecological righteousness that he/she contemplate life without petroleum. Kiss your car, your boat, your airplane, many of your medications, electrical power, and nearly every damned thing that you own or use goodbye. Were there no petroleum that poster would not have been able to post because there would be no CT. Without oil, and lots of it, we would be living in the early 19th century. Petroleum is as essential to our civilization as blood is to your life.

an defeat

Part 2: Whoops, I almost forgot to mention that the latest assault on our constitutional right to keep and bear arms has been defeated. Aside from the constitutional assault, the bill, which would have called for enhanced background checks would have accomplished nothing. Nothing! The hue and cry was that it was supposed to weed out persons who were mentally ill.  Deer Friends, there is no database, no registry of mentally ill persons.  Not a single component of the bill would have prevented any of the recent spate of mass shootings. The supporters of the bill presented it so that they could “feel good”.

Respectfully submitted: