The Coconut Telegraph
Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures
The Original Unsocial Media – Daily Since 2002
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, children of all ages, Wetstock 9 will be Sunday September 1, Labor Day Weekend. Moose & The Bullet Proof Band and The Ray West Band are currently lined up. Maybe one or two more guests will be appearing. Maybe Ed can come up with another cool logo. One day of Peace & Music–EverydaySee you there, your friend, Flip Flop Bob |
[God’s Will] Key West–A Bahama Village pastor accused of stealing more than $54,000 from his church was arrested Tuesday. John Wesley McKenzie, 50, pastor of St. James Missionary Church at 312 Olivia St., was charged with second degree felony larceny of more than $20,000 and less than $100,000 — a crime punishable by a maximum of 15 years in prison. |
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I don’t know what a Big Pine crack rock costs. It was, however, funny when the Big Pine taxi got caught delivering drugs to your house with just a phone call. Hence the riddle: What do you call a Big Pine taxi? Answer: A Craxie cab! Ha ha. |
[“The reefs around here look like they do because of know-it-all divers like you”] What was wrong with the diver writing, “We are not going down to rape the ocean, or be gouged at twenty four hundred dollars a day, …”. I wish there were more divers like him that worried about the reef than writers like you who criticize them. |
[Sewers] I was at the county meeting yesterday to watch our elected officials make decisions how to spend my tax money. The sewer thing came up and the room was full of concerned citizens who worried about the proposed pumping or gravity systems and how to pay for it. As usual the political dark cloud loomed overhead in its money green din. Many speakers remarked how good one system was over another and why FKAA will do this and that. Of course nothing changed and we the people got it up the wallet again. |
[Rowell’s Marina] I have what is a very practical suggestion for our County Commissioners. Instead of dumping more than six million dollars into another real estate investment. Let one of the developers you have in your back pocket purchase and develop Rowell’s Marina. This way millions of dollars would not be taken off the tax rolls. A private developer could actually do something with this eight acres of bay front property that the public could use in our lifetime, instead of another parcel decaying away like the Hickory House. By being a developed piece of property the tax base would actually increase. This would be a win win for all involved. Instead of costing us millions of dollars we could actually be collecting millions of dollars, while at the same time getting something we all could use.
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[Captain’s License] Just as an aside to the person looking for a private trip to the Tortugas. It is illegal for a person who is not a Coast Guard certified Captain to accept anything for taking your experienced self out on the water. This includes fuel, beer or cash for that matter. If someone goes through the trouble to become legal and the boat is registered commercial and insured as such why would they ever even consider taking a long and expensive trip with someone who they don’t even know. |
[Climate Fail] NOAA report on Arctic sea ice melt and proof of unprecedented warming. “The Arctic seems to be warming up. Reports from fishermen, seal hunters, and explorers who sail the seas about Spitzbergen and the eastern Arctic, all point to a radical change in climatic conditions, and hitherto un- heard-of high temperatures in that part of the earth’s surface. The oceanographic observations have, however, been even more interesting. Ice conditions were exceptional. In fact, so little ice has never before been noted. The expedition all but established a record, sailing as far north its Sl0 29′ in ice-free water. This is the farthest north ever reached with modern oceanographic apparatus. The character of the waters of the great polar basin has heretofore been practically unknown. Dr. Hoel reports that he made a section of the Gulf Stream at 81′ north latitude and took soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters. These show the Gulf Stream very warm,and it could be traced as a surface current till beyond the 81st parallel. The warmth of the waters makes it notable that the favorable ice conditions will continue for some time. In connection with Dr. Hoel’s report, it is of interest to note the unusually warm summer in Arctic Norway and the observations of Capt. Martin Ingebrigtsen, who has sailed the eastern Arctic for 54 years past. He says that he first noted warmer conditions in 1915, that since that time it has steadily gotten warmer, and that to-day the Arctic of that region is not recognizable as the same region of 1865 to 1917. Many old landmarks are changed as to be unrecognizable. Where formerly great masses of ice were found there are now often moraines, accumulations of earth and stones. At many points where glaciers once extended into the sea, they have entirely disappeared. The changes in temperature have also brought about great changes in the flora and fauna. This summer they sought for white fish. Formerly great shoals of them could be found. This year saw none though all the old fishing grounds had been visited. October 10, 1922 the American consul at Bergen Norway, submitted to the state department. Link |
[Gardening in the Keys] A perennial is a flower that, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year. |
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[Conspiracy Man] I’ve been researching for a while now, the mysterious appearances of what is known as Skunk Ape, Sasquatch or Bigfoot. To my amazement, I discovered that there is a lot of information that is not being reported by the government and the National Parks Dept. The 1st thing is that all witnesses have claimed, and all have in common, is that before they had spotted a Bigfoot, they had seen a bright flash in the woods. After the flash, a very strong persistent sulfur like odor immediately follows the bright flash. Then soon after the Bigfoot appears. Numerous witnesses that have spotted a Bigfoot, have reported the same circumstances when going after one, and suddenly disappears into thin air, but before the Bigfoot disappeared, they reported a bright flash and a strong sulfur like odor. It is believed that this may be the primary reason why these mysterious beings have been so elusive, leaving no evidence except for their footprints on the ground, and suddenly their tracks just stop. There are multitudes of sightings throughout the entire North American Continent, not just in the Pacific Northwest as we’re led to believe. According to my research The National parks dept. are fully knowledgeable of the existence of Bigfoot but have been threatened, by the government, and their superiors, not to disclose any reports, sightings or information to the public. Research shows that there is a possible link, or evidence between Bigfoot and UFO sightings. Another related hidden fact concerning Bigfoot, is that there are hundreds, if not thousands of disappearances of hikers and campers. Including men, women and children. In some instances, people have claimed that all they did was turn their back on someone that was there with them for just a few seconds, and when they turned back to continue what they were doing, the person was gone! There was an incident where a family, Mother & father, 10 year old daughter and a 2 year old son, had gone camping at a National park, and the night before while having dinner, they saw a bright flash in the nearby woods and a foul sulfur like odor. They continued to hear these strange squeals, that Bigfoot is known for. So they went into their camper for the rest of the night. The next morning they were preparing breakfast. The father was getting the fire started, while the Mom and daughter were setting the table. The 2 year-old was no less than 10 feet away from them. All they did was turn their attention to what they were doing for only a few seconds, and all of a sudden the baby was missing. They called the park rangers and a search rescue had taken place with people on the ground and helicopters. Five hours later the baby was found 10 miles away. It was found with all it’s clothes and sneakers on, yet, it had a mysterious 2 inch hole in it’s abdomen and all the baby’s internal organs were missing, and all blood was drained out of the body. Yet, there were no signs or traces of blood anywhere near the child, or throughout the route. The baby’s muscle tissue in the entire body was deflated and his skin looked like that of a corpse who had been dead for over a year. The puzzling question is how was it possible for this child to reach 10 miles in such a short time frame, and what could have caused the physical condition in which they found this baby? There weren’t any tire tracks anywhere near the child. It was like if he just fell from the sky. According to the park rangers there weren’t any other campers registered near this family or where the baby was found. Any foul play suspected towards the family, or anyone else was quickly dismissed. There have been countless incidents, in which many missing persons were found under similar physical conditions, and extremely far from where they were last spotted. According to witnesses, before these people went missing, there were Bigfoot sightings earlier. These disappearances are never reported to local news or news papers. Surviving family members are told not to disclose any information to anyone, due to the fact that it may hinder the investigation. Families that have refused, have been threatened by government officials in many different forms, that the families obeyed. |
[Car Look-Alikes] The wind tunnel is the reason cars look alike, in particular the ugly rear end. That’s where the most drag is and they found that a blunt rear end was the best design for improved gas mileage. A lot of the “wind tunnels” are computer simulations. |
[“Dry Tortuga Charter guy”] just go out to Marvin Key or Picnic Island any weekend for all that stuff [except the diving part]. |
Forgotten Felines of the Florida Keys] We have a very exciting announcement! Richie Moretti, founder of Marathon’s Turtle Hospital, has offered to make a “donation match” for up to $5000! A tentative date for having a “pledge day” will be June 28th with the opportunity to make donations via phone or Paypal/credit through our website on that day. We should have the date confirmed within the next 24-48 hours. |
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I want to start; using more semicolons; on here; where do they go? |
Where can I read the list of State and County projects in work or in planning? The full list and who the money handlers are. |
What’s wrong with our local government? There’s more in the news about wasting a ton of our tax money on a stupid bridge to an island [Pigeon Key] that almost nobody goes to so a few people can drive their cars out there then there is about repairing the falling apart highway that people actually need to drive on every day. Are there any plans to repair US1? If there are let’s see the time table in the news. |
How to change a #1 into a #2. |
[Abortion] I say no longer than 6 weeks gestation for abortion unless it is a medical reason. There are so much birth control methods out there, why not use them. Now we have Plan B; time will tell how that will work. |
[BumperSticker] The trouble with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard. |
Fox cub comes to people for help with a stuck head. Video |
I don’t think there is going to be a Wetstock this July. Flip Flop Bob, the Wetstock organizer, was fired from the Moondogs, the band he started and produced! |
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[Cars] I drive a Hyundai, my wife does, and we have for years. Hyundai is made in Alabama. Huge plant, we drove by it when it was under construction, and now that it’s built the place is absolutely massive! It employs hundreds of us. Same-o with the Honda plants and all the other Japanese or Korean sounding names. They build them here with our labor. A whole lot of uninformed people think we import these cars from overseas-nope, they’re built right here by American workers. So if the new guys here, like Hyundai, can build a car using American labor and offer a 100,000 mile, 10 year warranty for nearly half the price of the old you-know-the-names manufacturers that only offer half that warranty, why in the world would any informed person buy a double-priced, half-warranted vehicle built by the same competent Americans as the competition? Do the old guys do that because my damned payroll taxes subsidize them? Yep! That’s what elected representatives do, screw us with their favoritism laws. |
[Fetus Masturbation] I bet the female fetus getting herself off is faking it, just practicing for later on in life. |
Two family yard sale, Saturday, 217 Shore ave behind Boba-Lu’s, Big Coppitt Key. Lots of clothes all sizes $5 bagful, household items, computer stuff, animals, tools, all priced to go. Classified Ads > Yard Sale |
Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer! |
[Musicologist] The Eagles formed after the core of the band broke up as Linda Ronstadt’s backing band the added multi instrumentalist and lead guitarist Bearnie Leadon fresh out of the Flying Burrito Brothers. Bitter Creek is the best song the Eagles did, then they went Hollywood up against Steely Dan. Fagan said, “Turn up the Eagles the neighbors might be listening “ Henley retorted,”they stab it with their Steely knives but they just can’t kill the beast. “ Gram Parsons said the “(Eagles ) are as plastic as a dry f**k. And I have to agree after they refused Bernie at the induction ceremony to the Rock and roll Hall of Fame. The Eagles — Bitter Creek Another great track. The Eagles “On the border”. Bernie Leadon’s track dedicated to his old mate Gram Parsons. |
[Wetstock] I just wanted to know if anyone down there knows what day Wetstock is this year? |
[Power and Perception: Drugs] One of the biggest and on going problems for American society has been drug use and drug abuse. One of the biggest failures of government has been the war on drugs. Marijuana grows in every state from Arizona to Maine; from Alaska to right here in Florida. Throw a few seeds in your back yard and you don’t even need to water. It is literally a weed. The argument that someone might pay for it to be grown by someone else and the government might be able to tax it is not realistic. No pot smoker is going to buy something he can grow for himself tax and government free. Methamphetamine can be made in a five gallon bucket with some over the counter cold medicine and a few solvents, again anywhere. It too is un-taxable. And taxing will do nothing to stop the crime of the users who wish to buy this drug. “Tweekers” are not working consistently and some times will not work at all so have no money to purchase taxable government meth. They will still be stealing copper and anything else they can get their hands on in order to fulfill their addiction. Legalization will do nothing to stop meth crime. The same is true with heroin. The average American may not know that Heroin comes from a poppy which easily grows in much of America (look at the hostile growing environment of Afghanistan) but I guarantee that the drug abuser does know. There is no processing of the opiate sap required. There is no taxation or regulation of “legal” heroin. On the other hand regulating alcohol works reasonably well in that it is a fairly complicated task to make a fifth of Jack Daniels. Even home made beer is beyond the ability of the average teen. Tobacco too is taxable in that it only grows in a select region of this country; namely the south. You are not going to grow a smokeable quality of tobacco in most of America. Drug abusers tend to be of the anti-establishment mentality. Not folks generally interested in the rule of law. Why would someone as narcissistic and self-centered as a drug user want the government to know what he or she is up too anyway? The most infuriating aspect of the “make drugs legal now” crowd is the incensing notions of entitlement. “My body my choice” they tell America; it is my right to pursue my own notions of fulfillment and sure, this is a reasonable argument in the abstract. But this isn’t the whole picture. They don’t just clamor for government to make drugs legal. The rest of America, the hard working taxpayer, is also required to provide for the children of drug abusers. Provide assistance for housing, food, health care and re-hab. Imagine opening your door to someone in genuine need. And this person decides his notions of freedom allow him to smoke in your home. You ask him not too. And he refuses insisting he has a right to smoke. And your response, “Not in my home! I pay the bills. I pay the taxes and the utilities. I buy the food and baby sit your children. If you want to smoke, go rent your own apartment. You pay for your own utilities; you buy food for your children. You take responsibility for your life and your choices. If I am going to pay your way then I am going to make the rules. And I don’t have to be fair and I am under no requirement to reasonable about this.” If I want drugs to be illegal, then they will be illegal. If you want government to legalize them then you take responsibility for your life and the consequences of your choices and I will join you in your cause. The legalize drugs crowd does not just want access to the drugs of their choice they want America to accept their choice as an equal lifestyle and an inherent American right. Until these folks stand up and say, “I want drugs to be legal and I want to pay for my own health care, I want to provide a home for my children I want to pay taxes and work hard I want to take responsibility for my life”, then the people who do take responsibility will make the decisions. The government’s war on drugs has been a dismal failure. But what we can not do is confuse this failure with the automatic assumption that legalizing drugs is the correct answer. In the face of bad policy, the opposite is not automatically correct. |
[New Old Swimming Hole] I remember swimming in the Blue Hole way back before too many people lived on Big Pine; it was nice. |
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[Swimming Hole] What improvements do you think will be made with the million dollars set aside for the swimming hole? Will there be a smoking area? Will there be a bathhouse for taking off your clothes? Will there be a lifeguard and police protection? I frankly like it like it is. |
[Captain Doom and Gloom] Looks like we got screwed again on this sewage fiasco. We tax payers, who pay our maintenance personnel to do our bidding, have lost to the deep pocket crowd again. Logic says, -their logic-, a ton of parts for a low pressure pumping system is cheaper than a few lengths of plastic pipe with no moving parts and zero maintenance. Logical? Hardly, but profit making to a few, most certainly! The costs of this poop spin will escalate until it will be more economical to ship your crap by Next Day Air to the Governors office than to flush. You voted them in, remember? The Bike Path was started by the Bicycle Coalition of America back in the late 80’s and 95% of it is finished except for the areas in big cities that politicos control for their own projects. The Path was supposed to use old RR tracks, old hiking trails and other off road trails. Now the Beautification Gurus have taken over the task to Make Purity and bring The Wilderness to the masses. What that means is you the taxpayer will be paying out of you arse for years to come for something 1% of the people might use. Enough with the waste of our blood sweat and tears. Get the sewers done and done cheaply! “$57 million in capital projects” Whose 57 million? Finish the freaking sewers first and quit screwing around with our lives for your stupid money wasting pet projects so you guys can have your 15 seconds of fame. No wonder politicos were neutered in old Rome! |
[Bong Ban Bogus] By now, you have likely heard the news about the Governor signing a bill banning your bong. A lot is being said about the bill, but much of it is hyperbole or just plain wrong. The government of Florida is not coming to take your bong away. If you are possessing a bong (or any other form of smoking device – yes, an apple could be paraphernalia) for any purpose other than smoking tobacco, that bong or pipe was already illegal. Link |
[Un American] Whenever one disagrees with the ideology of the Left, why are they immediately labeled or stigmatized as being subversive? Why is wanting to be responsible for ones own actions called un American? |
[Berlin] Almost five years after Obama’s last speech, Germans have undergone “a brutal sobering up” with regard to Mr. Obama, said Ralf Fücks [that’s a name you don’t toy with], who heads the board of the Heinrich Böll Foundation, a nonprofit political organization in Berlin. It is, he said, as overdone as the euphoria of 2008, but also a bit alarming. Link |
Islam’s Greatest Mosque to become a Christian Cathederal. Leftist media coverage and outrage exposes hypocrisy. Link |
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FROM THE RIGHT |
Sorry about missing school yesterday, we were off the rock for a couple days and I was just too tired to do anything when we got home. The testimony of National Security Agency Director General Keith Alexander was impressive, he is a man of impeccable reputation and reeks of credibility. But I’ve got real problems with much of his testimony. One of my issues is the media claim that the program thwarted at least 50 terrorist plots. That’s an interesting take on his testimony but it’s not what he said. He said that the program had helped in thwarting about 50 plots in the US and on foreign shores. Please remember that he did not identify a single plot that was actually discovered by the program. On the other hand, the hard fact is that data from the program was a help to NSA, but not the determining factor in the cases. Nearly every detective has at one time or another used phone company records, or a trap and trace, or a wire tap to bolster an investigation. Those practices are a help in building a case, but nearly never actually discover or prevent a crime. Frankly, the cold hard fact is that the program failed, utterly failed, to identify the danger presented to us by the Boston Bombers, by the Fort Hood terrorist, the Times Square bomber, the underwear bomber, and a host of other plots. I was troubled by the testimony that claimed that emails were not being scanned for content. Hopefully some readers will remember that it was not too many years ago that the government was admitting to a host of “operations” that even then were scanning emails for content. For example way back in ’97 there was “Carnivore”. Carnivore was a system implemented by the Federal Bureau of Investigation that was designed to monitor email and electronic communications. It used a customizable packet sniffer that can monitor all of a target user’s Internet traffic. Carnivore was implemented in October 1997. By 2005 it had been replaced with improved commercial software such as NarusInsight. Then in 2003 we learned of “Prodigal”. — the Proactive Discovery of Insider Threats Using Graph Analysis and Learning — which has been built to scan IMs, texts and emails . . . and can read approximately a quarter billion of them a day. “Every time someone logs on or off, sends an email or text, touches a file or plugs in a USB key, these records are collected within the organization,” reported David Bader, a professor at the Georgia Tech School of Computational Science and Engineering. PRODIGAL scans those records for behavior — emails to unusual recipients, certain words cropping up, files transferred from unexpected servers — that changes over time as an employee “goes rogue.” The system was developed at Georgia Tech in conjunction with the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). In 2005, Forbes Magazine reported that the DHS has been forced to release a list of keywords and phrases it uses to monitor various social networking sites. Did you get that, as long ago 8 years ago the government was scanning social networking sites? The list provides a glimpse into what DHS describes as “signs of terrorist or other threats against the U.S.” Deer Friends even though many are nearly hysterical at the purported “revelations” of the traitor Snowden, the fact of government snooping is old, very old news. It is very disturbing news. This administration will forever be known as the administration that actively tried to crush the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. Hells Belles, yesterday FBI Director Mueller actually testified that the Feds are using drones to spy on Americans in America. Perhaps worse he also testified that the FBI had not yet formalized a set of rules and regulations to regulate the practice.e Part 2) Let’s think about Presidential vacations and the spending of tax payer money for the amusement of the President and his family. While we think about it, we have to think about it in the context of the times. Now we are in horrible fiscal times. When GWB was president, at least until the Democrats took Congress in 2007, we were prospering. Now we are mired in a moribund economy, even experiencing cuts in service from our government. We have furloughs of federal employees, we can’t even have tours of the White House., Team Obama has even decided to cut veterans services. Our debt is unimaginable, we pay about $300 billion per year in interest payments on our debt. Interest payments alone are the 4th biggest expense that we have, only Medicare, Medicaid and the Department of Defense exceed them. Nonetheless Obama continues to burn tons of tax money in pursuit of fun times for him and his family. Yesterday a poster defending Obama’s many travels crowed that Bush had spent $20 million of tax dollars on Air Force One to travel to and from GWB’s own ranch in Texas over the course of his entire 8 year term. No doubt about it, Bush did spend a lot of time at Crawford, but, while there he worked every single day on national issues. As far as I can remember every one of his “vacations” were always at his own property or at the property of his parents. As far as I can recall he never took royal style vacations. The Obama family are polar opposites, they seem to consider themselves above the masses and they have no understanding as to how angry their behavior can make folks like you and I who are just getting along. Bush was a blue collar President who actually respected his constituents, Obama fancies himself as some sort of royalty. Please think about the fact that Obama is spending $100 million for this single business/vacation adventure for him and his family. This single trip alone costs us five times as much as Bush spent in 8 years in his travels to his own property. While Bush spent time at his own home. Obama and Michelle have literally traveled the globe on vacations thinly disguised as official trips. Remember Hawaii? That alone cost at least $1.5 Mil. Remember Martha’s Vineyard, and the entire list of fun spots they’ve visisted on your dime. I especially hope you’ll remember his and Michell’s much heralded “date night.” During a week when GM filed for bankruptcy after firing thousands of autoworkers, President Barack Obama took the First Lady on a “date night” to New York City for dinner and a Broadway show. That cost us over a million dollars.
Deer Friends, GWB went home for vacation, not so the Obama’s. What follows is a list of their vacations as of April ’12. — President’s Day 2012, Michelle and the first daughters in Aspen, Colorado to ski.– Christmas 2011, the first family in Hawaii for an extended vacation.– Summer 2011, in Martha’s Vineyard, Mass., for the annual beach break. — June 2011, the first lady, her mother and daughters traveled to South Africa and Botswana.– President’s Day 2011, the first lady and first daughters travel to Vail to ski.– Christmas 2010, in Hawaii. — August 2010, the first family traveled to Panama City Beach, Fla., for some sun and fun at the beach. — August 2010, Obama spent the weekend alone in Chicago for his 49th birthday bash. — August 2010, the first lady and daughter Sasha traveled to Spain for a mother-daughter vacation. — August 2010, summer vacation again at Martha’s Vineyard. — July 2010, the first family went to Mount Desert Island, Maine. – May 2010, the first family had a four-day trip to Chicago. — March 2010, first lady and daughter spend Spring Break in New York City. — Christmas 2009, Hawaii again for the annual break. — August 2009, at Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Canyon for a short vacation. — August 2009, their first summer vacation as first family at Martha’s Vineyard, Mass. |