2013 June

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media – Daily Since 2002

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(Ed: If I’m late publishing the CT today it’s because my computer had a relapse. The motherboard I just replaced four months ago passed away in it’s sleep last night. It took me a while to dust off the old Gateway hand cranked laptop.)



I voted for our new sheriff and I hope he doesn’t settle into a “business as usual” mentality hoping nobody will notice.  I want to see an aggressive approach to crime and public safety issues.  I want to see him working and leading – out in the open, earning the pile of money we are paying him.  

I recently instigated a call to the non 911 sheriff’s number about suspicious activity at an owner-absent house across the street from me and by the time a deputy showed up the suspects were long gone.  The deputy said he was sorry, but he had two other calls ahead of that one.  

Should 911 have been called initially?  What is the criteria for these situations?  We need a crackdown and a better response time on these occurrences.  We are paying these guys a lot of money.



[New Old Swimming Hole] County approves initial OK to $57 million in capital projects. $1 million for BPK swimming hole! Link

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Does anyone know why baby diapers are called Luvs and Huggies, while old people diapers are called Depends? Well, it’s because if a baby craps in their pants, you are still going to Luv them and Hug them. If an old person craps in their pants, will they still be Luv’ed or Hugged? Well, that Depends on if you’re in the Will or not.

Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) tentatively agreed to put more money toward retrofitting the Old Seven Mile Bridge, so our commissioners have decided in taking over the Old Seven Mile Bridge from the state.  The staff at FDOT surely understand the liabilities in maintaining the OSMB.

The owners of Rowell’s Marina are more than likely crossing their fingers that our commission can make the same mistake they made in purchasing the Hickory House.

The logic behind both of these decisions certainly are mind boggling when there are so many more projects that our tax dollars could be used on.  Actually, why do our tax dollars need to be spent at all?  Why not reduce the budget at the benefit to all of us?  Who do the commissioners think is footing the bill from FDOT as well?



[Hairy Leg Tights] Anti-rape invention measures in China–fake hairy leg tights to thwart rape. Wouldn’t work for Eskimos, probably be a turn on! 


Those who don’t know me, think I’m on drugs. Those who do, think I should be.

an_chinese_bucketsIn 1411, the Forbidden City was under construction in Beijing, then the largest city in the world.

In 1453, the Ottomans captured Constantinople.

The future imperial powers of Europe accounted for about 10% of the world’s surface and 16% of its population.

By 1914, 11 Western empires controlled nearly three-fifths of the world’s territory and population, and a staggering 79% of economic output.

By 1990 the average American was 73 times richer than the average Chinese.

Why? Competition, science, property, medicine, consumption and work!

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Yo, Ed, What happened to the Photo Gallery? I went to look at the old pics of Wetstock and have told many, many people to check them out. What happened? (Ed: No one ever looked at them anymore, so I never bothered to replace them when I switched formats. people stopped sending pictures of themselves when social media took over. If there’s enough interest I can put them back, but it’ll be a big time consuming effort for something no one’s noticed was missing for a year.)


[Sewers Meeting] Grinder pumps vs gravity. Meeting today, Wed. 3:30 p.m. Marathon Gov. Center. Attend. Link


Key West’s Drug Court gets a new home. Link

[“New cars look alike”] The aerodynamic side of this does hold some merit but the major part is that all the low line, Kia, Hyundai, Japan, and Asian makers all make their cars to be knock-offs of high line stuff like BMW, JAG, etc, similar to how Chrysler tries to replicate Bentley. It’s an ego driven economy and its all about me, my status, what I think I look like and out of my way. Look around and wonder what that crap looks like after it has some miles on it and resale numbers. I see lots of old Chevys and fords on the road all the time. I don’t see many if any old jap or Korean stuff and not too many Chrysler products that aren’t falling apart or looking bad. Knobs falling off, trim hanging off, a/c broken crappy looking junk. You can’t beat a new GM or Most fords for reliability and value. If you want a vehicle that’s gonna least and serve you well, choose a domestic pickup built the way you need it for economy and service. All the best stuff and tested equipment goes into the trucks because that if the core repeat buyers that keeps the manufactures pumping. You alienate a truck guy or buisiness owner and he switches so that market is very important to them. I have never had a problem aside from a gas cap on my Silverado and have 145k on it. Still has original brakes, exhaust etc. Think I replaced a brake light bulb in it once , V8 and I still get 24 mpg on the highway and 19-20 in stop and go and it still looks brand new.



I believe I have an addiction.  I find it necessary for me to look at the Coconut Telegraph each afternoon.

[FKAA and Sewers] I have all the confidence in the world with us getting a good quality supply of drinking water but that does not necessarily mean these same people can make the best decisions regarding our future sewage treatment facilities.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

[Profitable Non-profits] Every time I hear the words non-profit I grab my wallet, and not for a donation but to keep tabs on my money. If you think no one profits from non-profits you are a sucker. Check their salaries, pay packages and expense accounts. 
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an_aquarium fish sub


Another Cousteau dives in. In a tribute to his renowned grandfather, a Cousteau plans to launch the longest mission ever undertaken aboard the Aquarius, the undersea habitat at the Florida Keys reef. Link

[“Dive Charter Inquiry’] Try looking at Restless Native Charters in Key West. They have a 44′ lagoon cat and Cpt. Mark is a cool guy.


AbyssDiveCenter_BlueStarNOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary welcomes Abyss Dive Center of Marathon, Fla. as the newest participant in the Sanctuary’s Blue Star education and conservation program. Abyss Dive Center is the 15th charter recognized by the program and the second business participating from the middle Florida Keys.

Launched in 2009, Blue Star salutes charter companies that help protect the Florida Keys coral reef ecosystem by promoting responsible snorkeling and diving practices, and educating their patrons on the role humans play in reef health. Unlike some of the more global causes of reef decline — such as climate change — damage to reefs from snorkeling and diving is considered easily preventable through education and experience.

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The American form of government explained. It’s worth the watch. Link

Just wondering, what’s the average price of a crack rock on Big Pine these days?

nasa6.19In the foreground, is Crater Lake — a caldera created by volcanism on planet Earth about 7,700 years ago. Next, inside the lake, is water. Although the origin of the water in the crater is melted snowfall, the origin of water on Earth more generally is unclear, but possibly related to ancient Earthly-impacts of icy bodies. Next, the green glow in the sky is airglow, light emitted by atoms high in the Earth’s atmosphere as they recombine at night after being separated during the day by energetic sunlight. The many points of light in the sky are stars, glowing by nuclear fusion. They are far above the atmosphere but nearby to our Sun in the Milky Way Galaxy. Finally, the bright arch across the image is the central band of the Milky Way, much further away, on the average, than the nearby stars, and shaped mostly by gravity. Contrary to appearances, the Milky Way band glows by itself and is not illuminated by the airglow. The above image is a six-frame panorama taken during about two weeks ago in Oregon, USA.




Does anyone have any information about Wetstock 2013? When, where, who’s playing?

Should I look for a new home owner insurance company? My present companies’ office managers are Mr. Pauli, Guido, and Bruno. Kind of makes one nervous.

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Up here in Washington A.C., we have legal weed. Yay! However you have to get an MD, pay about $100 to say that you need it. Then you get to drive an hour or more to go to a dispensary where everyone is ripped and calls you “Honey, or Baby” wait, my name is … nevermind.

Also we are installing roundabouts. Europe got used to them in tiny cars and streets, now alas, we must follow suit. Here is the best instructions. I’m a natural blonde. Yes.

[“Dry Tortuga Charter”] If you’re going to be drunk, cussing, smoking and naked (I’m assuming a beer belly is included) you need to tip the crew a lot more than 15% for putting up with you and cleaning up after you. If you want cheaper, buy your own boat. 


I got so drunk last night. I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and I won the dance contest.

Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


 A celebration of reading. George and Barbara Bush. Video



Who’s leading the arms race? In this striking infographic James Ball and Valentina D’Efilippo visualise the relative size of different countries’ armies – taking into account personnel, weaponry and budget. So whose army is the biggest? Link

[Sewers] What happened? Did the junta change the time for the Wednesday sewer meeting in Marathon from 3:30 PM to 9 AM today? Smart move to screw over the tax paying peasants guys. Wait until next election, we will have humans in office next time.


Let’s eat! Music video by Julieta Venegas performing Bien o Mal.


My favorite color is bacon.


Florida boy recovers from Eastern Diamondback’s bite, and gets hide as trophy. Eleven-year-old Benjamin Smith of Newberry received what doctors said may be a record 80 vials of antivenin at University of Florida Health Shands Hospital for a bite on his right leg from a five-foot long eastern diamondback rattlesnake.

According to National Geographic, The eastern diamondback rattlesnake is the largest venomous snake in North America. They can reach up to eight feet in length and weigh up to 10 pounds.  Its venom is a powerful hemotoxin that kills red blood cells and causes tissue damage. Bites can potentially be fatal in humans. Link

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[Captain Doom and Gloom] “New Cars Look Alike” Wind tunnel tests? What a crock this post is. Sure body shape and size matter, but nowhere near what tire hardness, HP generation, and weight does.

[“Looking for charter. “We are not going down to rape the ocean, or be gouged at twenty four hundred dollars a day, nor do we wish to be harassed or policed by …”] From now on when people asked why I quit teaching SCUBA and taking charters, I’m gonna show them this. The reefs around here look like they do because of know-it-all divers like you!

religion politics zone

[“Right Wing Blogger, Keith Koffler, Takes Offense with First Lady …”] Oh FTR, You’re so predictable! Try a different approach next time. Your credibility is as easy to shoot down as a gnat with a broom.

Personally, I’d rather be spied on by Bush than Obama. If someone had to read your e mails, wouldn’t you pick the idiot?  ~Bill Maher


A wholly owned subsidiary of big business.

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Remember when KFC offered a “Hillary” meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs? Now KFC is offering the “Obama Cabinet Bucket.” It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken shit.



I find it that FTR thinks The First Lady of the United States of America should stay at a Days Inn or something less than a five-star hotel. Would she still have to stay at the Bates Motel if she were a Republican?

[Early Starters] Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas) said Monday that abortion should be banned as early as 15 weeks after conception because he has witnessed male fetuses masturbate at that stage.

RH Reality Check first reported Burgess’ comments, which came during a late-night House Rules Committee hearing on a GOP bill that would ban abortions starting at 20 weeks after conception.

“This is a subject that I do know something about,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. “There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20 weeks after conception can feel pain. The fact of the matter is, I argue with the chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be setting this at 15 weeks, 16 weeks.” 

Obama, “I’m not a socialist” Link 


[“Bush and Clinton did go to Africa, and it did cost about the same”] Quote from Mike Huckabee: The Washington Post obtained an internal planning document showing that it will require hundreds of Secret Service agents, a Navy ship with fully-staffed hospital standing by at all times, 24-hour fly-overs by fighter jets to protect his air space, and 56 vehicles flown in by military cargo planes, including 14 limousines and three trucks loaded with sheets of bulletproof glass to cover the windows of the first family’s hotels. Estimated cost: between 60 and 100 million dollars. That’s actually in line with previous tours of Africa taken by Clinton and Bush.

The big difference is that while they were gone, the White House wasn’t shut down because we didn’t even have the money to keep the building tours open. Meanwhile, the queen [The First Lady] is in Ireland in a $3,300 a night room enjoying the sights, accompanied by Air Force One and Air Force Two plus security. And it’s all shoved right in your face with a big s**t-eating grin.

Camouflaging the Vietnam War. How textbooks continue to keep the Pentagon Papers a secret. Link

an_beach-blanketIm glad our local bad news guy brought up vacations/trips  of our President so I thought I would do a little research and see if his hinted  rhetoric of Democrats abusing vacations and their costs add up. lets just compare our most recent Republican President to other Presidents. That seems like the fairest way.

First off I don’t remember Bushs vacations ever being a subject of note concerning time off and cost from our right wing neighbors. That’s kind of interesting on its own.

Turns out according to several Presidential Libraries that G.W. Bush was on Vacation more then any other President in American history. A stunning 1,020 Days. I guess you need a rest when your country is involved in 2 wars.Bush was on Vacation even more then Franklin D. Roosevelt who was in office 12 years. Bush even bested Lyndon Johnson who spent only 484 at his ranch in Texas.

The numbers are hard to confirm but Bushs frequent visits to Crawford Texas are believed to have  cost taxpayers over $20 million. Yet we never read on here 1 single time that those taxpayer funded vacations were the subject of anyones ire. Interesting when we are lead to think that our posters are only thinking towards fiscal responsibility.

I would think that with the Bush administration losing what turned out to be 4 million jobs (his responsibility like Obamas is today its claimed) He may have stayed home more and created more jobs. (again we are told the President creates jobs). I never believed that but if the Republicans think that way who am I to challenge them?

Fact is the last sitting Republican President took the longest vacation of any President in 36 years. Bush took 5 weeks off. Jobs being lost by the millions and the Republican President takes more then a month off. How nice. Yep, you got it, not I single peep from the right. Another fact is that Bush who was responsible for the 2 longest and most costliest wars in American history both at the same time  missed over 32% of his time in office on vacation. I wish I was making this up but nope these are the realities. Its kind of funny but Bush actually had more vacation time then JFK had in office.

So the moral of the story should be don’t throw partisan rocks at peoples house because it gives them stones to throw back.

So enjoy your chance to see the sights and spend time with the people of Ireland Mrs. Obama its nice to see some Americans not being looked at as the Ugly Americans from the Euros but its a bit sad to see our own citizens calling our Presidents family the ugly Americans without having the courage of using those exact words.

Fox News should be labeled as a subversive organization and kept under surveillance due it’s constant undermining and obstruction of our Government.   They are doing more damage to this country with their biased opinion than Russia, Iran, the NRA and China combined.

Ann Althouse comments about pro-abortion-rights bloggers mocking the statement of Rep. Michael Burgess, a former OB/GYN, who commented on the “purposeful” motions of 15-week-old unborns who may “stroke their face” and “have their hand between their legs.” Link