2014 March

Thursday, March 27, 2014

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media
Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures
Published Daily by Noon Since 2002 – No Saturday Edition

shark follows scuba


I am so sad for the loss of the big bull shark.  I believe my husband and I met him while spearfishing several times last year.  We were hunting east of the patch reef off of Little Palm in July when we first saw him.  The water was fairly murky and he came within a few yards of me — just checking me out.  The next time we saw him was about a week later and we thought it was the same shark, a large bull with the emphasis on large.  The final time was in September when my husband and I were looking for lobster west of the patch reef.  This time he came so close my husband had to poke him in the eye with his tickle stick to get him to move on.  He never seemed aggressive, just curious.  Your description of him having been regularly fed will explain a lot about his behavior around us.   I have come to love sharks with a sense of awe while tempering my passion with a healthy dose of respect.  I will mourn the loss of this magnificent creature. What a shame.

Chamber-ad 760w
[Grinder Pump Solution] There wouldn’t be so much, if any, hubbub about grinder pumps if Commissioner Neugent insisted they be placed in the right-of-way insteading of burdening homeowners with them. The problem would just go away.
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County Commis­sioner George Neugent is seek a fifth term on the county commission. The Republican filed the necessary paperwork with the Monroe County Supervisor of Elections Office to run for a district that runs from Marathon through Big Coppitt Key.

[Texting Hazard] While I ride my bicycle on the bike path it is crazy how many people I see that are texting and driving. The bike path makes you cross the road several times and ride on the shoulder. Most people give you extra room. A lot do not. Several have veered toward me on bridges and as I stopped with nowhere to go. They suddenly look up from their phones and jerk back into their lanes. Most of the dump truck drivers are not very courteous. 
Nira-Tocco 760w

[“Vacation Rental Crooks”] It’s not just Keys vacation rentals. I have some rental homes upstate and have had three occasions where crooks hijacked a Craigslist posting, substituted a dramatically low rent and attempted to solicit a deposit from the “it’s too good to be true” sheeple.

I know of no way to prevent this type of activity. My first indication was when a departing tenant called me and complained people were ringing their doorbell asking to look at the attractively priced rental. “Why is it so cheap?” and my tenants were still living there!

Buyer beware and be careful of sending money anywhere — ever.

lion king proud


[Old Seven Mile Bridge] The 100,000 number for visitors is low. In season, there are well over 600 people per day that visit. In the summer there are probably 200 – 250 per day that walk the bridge. Without the bridge the number of visitors to Marathon would drop significantly. This would result in less tax revenues from lodging. That also means that there would be fewer people eating, snorkeling, fishing, shopping, etc. All would mean less revenue for the people in the area, and tax revenues for the County and State.

That is why the state is paying the lion’s share of the construction and maintenance costs. The State gets the lion’s share of the 12.5% sales tax on all lodging, as well as the lion’s share of all sales taxes collected.

Once you take the time to learn about what’s going on, and how it’s being paid for, you don’t have to worry about making incorrect conclusions, based on erroneous ideas that you make up.

Are woman held to unrealistic standards? I telepathically asked my wife, but for some reason she hasn’t answered.
[“Toe sucking”] I don’t understand the attraction. I’ve done many kinky things in my time, but just don’t understand that one. Yuk!
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Game fish, all kinds of game fish are a very big deal. Why? Money. Anglers will pay for charter boats,fishing gear,meals,drinks,rooms and have a great time catching fish. That’s clean money, no factory spewing gook into the air or creating mountains of waste. Clean jobs and sports fishing/tourist related jobs. We are blessed with clean money. So my friends treat your fish well. Consider catch and release. If you’re not going to eat it or use it in some way, release it. Take a photo and let it go. Enjoy the Fabulous Florida Keys & our very special ocean. Treat it with respect and it will be there for a very long time. Have a blessed day.  ~Coconut’s Joe

Thanks for making the CT easier to read on a mobile phone, but I have one small issue.  The white background actually makes it harder to read (at least on my Samsung which admittedly has many quality issues).  Perhaps it is just me but I would appreciate it if you would see what others think. Thanks again for the time you take to get the CT out early each day. It has become one of our morning routines.

(Ed: Thanks for your comment. I changed the background on today’s CT to a very pale beige. I hope that helps.)

[Irony] The government allows credit card companies to process transactions from hate groups like the Aryan Brotherhood, biker gangs and militias whose mission is to do bad, but the government won’t let them process transactions from Wikileaks whose mission is to do good by exposing government misdeeds.

Antler Chandelier


I’d like to have a log cabin home one day, but I wouldn’t grace it with any of those tacky antler chandeliers or some of the other tacky furniture made form animal parts.

[Gala Under the Stars] Grimal Grove is a refurbished organic farm that was neglected for years, and for the last two years it has been reclaimed and given lots of TLC. The project is a non-profit that is looking to help sustain the Keys and teach the youth of the community about organic and sustainable living.

This event is today, Thursday, March 27. Your ticket includes a fresh, five course meal catered by Key West’s Help Yourself, a tour of the grove and a chocolate and wine pairing to finish off the evening. We will also provide transportation to and from the event for our Key West guests!  Transforming communities through sustainable agriculture.  Link



…and absolutely no returns!

After reading Donnelly’s letter that appeared in The Key West Citizen: “Eimers’ death deserves independent investigation”, it dawned on me that a number of serious mishaps have occurred on Chief Lee’s watch. The latest being the alleged child molestation charge against one of Lee’s officers.

Who hired this chief and why hasn’t anyone called upon him to give a full account of the systemic problems that continue in his department? It appears that he is going to be an extremely costly liability for the citizens of Key West.

Flea-Market 760w
[“Grinder pump costs and maintenance”]  Is there financial  a firewall between FKAA and the CRWS? In other words are the generator trucks, maintenance  and such paid for by all FKAA users, or are such expenses tacked on only to the CRWS  “customers”? If the first, then everybody should be concerned, and if the second then we are paying more for their Mickey Mouse engineering than everybody else.  How do you separate the new employees and equipment expenses from FKKA? Everybody should be asking this question.

chicken tnt explode


[Missing Chickens] Has anyone noticed the chickens in the Winn Dixie parking lot are gone? Does anyone know what happened to them and who is responsible? Is it the new owners?

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Another “cottage” being delivered to Little Torch Cottages’ site, formerly Lucky’s Landing. How many more are they going to squeeze in there? Habitat’s development on BPK looks better than this overcrowded mess.

[Conspiracy] I find it highly suspicious that the C.T. and Facebook changed their format on the same day and at the same time! I smell a conspiracy here.
Manley-deBoer 760w

[Neugent seeks fifth term on the county commission] “Friends have badgered me to throw my hat in the ring for one more,” Neugent said. “And there are some loose ends that need to be tied up.”  (Keynoter)

That’s right George, we’re going to hand you your hat, that’s the loose end. Thanks for you service and all, but bye bye!

frankenstein congo drums


I’m looking for a drummer and bass player in the Big Pine area to play parties and just have fun making music. Please no Keys diseased people. Any level of play welcome to join in (blues/ rock). Email me for more info. Classified Ad > Music

[Words] I second the request of yesterday’s poster for Deer Ed to give us a list of words that we can use to describe those lame brained pencil necks, mouth breathing morons, and brainless turds who disagree with our political wisdom.
Dennis-Ward 760w
Who will run against Neugent? The only way he will win a fifth term is if no one runs against him.


No, It’s not what you think it is. It’s a Vietnamese pumpkin. I wonder what the neighbors will say when you plant some of these along the fence next year?

[“Pedophile”] Locals are shocked that a 15 year veteran of the Key West Police may be a pedophile, but he pales in comparison to this 25 year FBI bomb expert who leaked classified information and had child pornography on his computer too. Why is it that some of those who enforce the law somehow think they are above or exclude themselves from it? Don’t they know that in prison, neither cops nor sex offenders have any friends? Link
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Why would terrorists want to bomb Fantasy Fest? If it is their goal to bring down the US, by letting morons who attend the event reproduce and multiply would be just the thing to accomplish their goals.

fool me once punch

[Fools]I did a math exercise similar to that of yesterday’s post dealing with the 7 mile bridge. I was so astounded by the taxpayer cost of a single visitor’s walk on the bridge, even on the rosiest assumptions, that I figured that once the County figured it out, they would drop the whole thing. Boy, did I get a surprise. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can’t ride you unless your back is bent.  ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Springers 760w

[Bureaucracy] My daughter has signed a contract with the US Navy to serve our country. She is an immigrant, and has her residence card aka green card. It does not expire until 2017. She got this card when she was 12 years old, she is 20 years old now. The picture on her card is when she was 12 years old. The Navy requires a current picture on the residence card. So she contacted INS, and they informed her it would take 9 months to re-issue the card with an updated picture, but that she could request expedited services for $375, so she did that. She faxed her signed, fingerprinted, contract with the Navy to INS requesting expedited services due to the fact she is scheduled to go to boot camp in July. She has already gone to INS Tampa, to get re fingerprinted and her current picture taken, and it is now in a computer somewhere in the system. We spoke with an INS officer yesterday on the phone in Missouri who stated if her request for expedited services is approved it will take up to 45 days! And the Navy requires about 2 months lead time on scheduled boot camps for all the paperwork to be in order. If not, boot camp will be pushed back even further.

My daughter is extremely frustrated, and after hearing the INS officer on the phone yesterday, I am pissed. How the hell can it take 45 days, or 9 months to update a picture on a residence card that won’t even expire for another 3 years? I think a call to my Congressman may be in order, or to a local TV station, to document this BS. And we wonder why immigrants can’t get legalized in this country? Part of the reason is the INS in my opinion–well, two government agencies, the Navy and INS. The funny thing about this is once she completes boot camp the Navy will process her citizenship quickly. People can’t understand why some are against bigger government?

country fried steak


Happy Thursday From Springer’s Bar & Grill. Our Special today is an all time favorite — Country Fried Steak with 2 side orders. Choose from mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries and many more…
We’ll see you for lunch.

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[“Toe sucking, misdemeanor or felony”] Felony assault if one doesn’t have the owners consent. Nothing if you do! However if you are sucking yours in public, that should be a crime punishable by a equally disgusting death.
Johnsons 760w
[“Vacation Rental Crooks”] My cousin wanted to visit, but rent his own place. He found a great oceanfront place on Big Pine that was reasonably priced. He asked me to ride over to take a look at it. I repeatedly called the number on the website and no one answered or returned my call. I emailed them and the reply said I couldn’t look at the place with no explanation as to why. Crooks.

look down barrel


Responsible gun owners, known by those with a different ideology as gun  nuts, are not the problem. They never have been. Indeed, the truth be known, they have been one of our steadiest deterrents to crimes that we possess. However those with a different line of thought describe them as morons engaging in asinine behavior. They seem to consistently delight in the use of language which I suspect is merely a way of venting their anger over those not agreeing with them, and does nothing to make a coherent discussion , but only reflect the laziness of the poster to try to explain his reasons for his post.

George Neugent is running for commissioner again to punish us.
Accurate 760w
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japan art[Japan’s high standards] Japanese children clean their schools every day for a quarter of an hour with teachers. This led to the emergence of a Japanese generation who is modest and keen on cleanliness.
-Any Japanese citizen who has a dog must carry special bags to pick up dog droppings.  Hygiene and their eagerness to address cleanliness is part of Japanese ethics.  
-A hygiene worker in Japan is called “health engineer” and can command salary of USD 5000 to 8000 per month, and a cleaner is subjected to written and oral tests.
-Japan does not have any natural resources, and they are exposed to hundreds of earthquakes a year, but this has not prevented its becoming the second largest economy in the world.
-In just ten years Hiroshima returned to what it was economically vibrant before the fall of the atomic bomb.
-Japan prevents the use of mobile phones in trains, restaurants and indoors.
-For first to sixth primary year Japanese students must learn ethics in dealing with people.
-Even though one of the richest people in the world, the Japanese do not have servants.  The parents are responsible for the house and children.
-There is no examination from the first to the third primary level because the goal of education is to instill concepts and character building.
-If you go to a buffet restaurant in Japan you will notice people only eat as much as they need without any waste because food must not be wasted.
-The rate of delayed trains in Japan is about 7 seconds per year. The Japanese appreciate the value of time and are very punctual to minutes and seconds.
-Children in schools brush their teeth and clean their teeth after a meal at school, teaching them to maintain their health from an early age.  

The Japanese focus on maintaining their own culture.  Therefore no political leader or a prime minister from an Islamic nation has visited Japan — not the Ayatollah of Iran, the King of Saudi Arabia or even a Saudi Prince. Japan is a country keeping Islam at bay by putting strict restrictions on Islam and all Muslims.

politics-zone 760w
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from the right

Yesterday a poster commented on Florida granting nearly $21 million in incentives to a “mystery” company to induce it to come to Florida.  The company was only identified as “The Magellan Project”. The Magellan Project involves bringing a new major aerospace manufacturer to the Melbourne Florida airport. Brevard County has announced that it is offering over $200k in incentives.

The project’s first phase calls for the construction of a 216,000-square foot building and creation of 300 jobs by the end of 2015. The second phase involves construction of a 500,000-square-foot building and 1,500 additional jobs. The jobs are high end jobs, according to the Brevard County Commission, the average salary will be about $100k. The company plans to make a $500 million overall capital investment.

All of that certainly reeks of aircraft and allied products manufacturing.

The Joint Legislative Budget Commission unanimously approved the request by Gov. Rick Scott and the Florida Department of Economic Opportunity for $20.8 million for Project Magellan. The Florida Senate minority leader, a democrat, Chris Smith, endorsed the project.

magellan logoAll of that is great news for Florida’s economy, but the mystery is who is the “Magellan Project”?  My guess is that it is Magellan Aerospace Corporation. It is one of the worlds most integrated and comprehensive aerospace industry suppliers. Magellan designs, engineers, and manufactures aeroengine and aerostructure assemblies and components for aerospace markets, advanced products for military and space markets, and complementary specialty products. Magellan has many manufacturing facilities throughout America. One is in New York. We all know that New York has exorbitant taxes business taxes. Perhaps the Magellan Project portends a move from New York to Florida. It makes sense. It also makes sense that the company that is the “Magellan Project” would have good reason to keep their identity under wraps until the deal is all wrapped up. You can be certain the Joint Legislative Budget Commission has done an in-depth investigation of the company before granting the incentives.  Good work Governor Scott. More industry and jobs for Florida is a very good thing.

Part 2) Holy crap, when will it ever end. Once again Team Obama has gone back on its word. This time they swore that March 31 was the dead…dead…deadline.  They even claimed that to extend the deadline was against the law. But, Team Obama has once again pushed the not so deadline back another two weeks. The rule of law means nothing to Team Obama if it impedes their pursuit of their agenda.  It’s nearly unbelievable but they have out of hand reset deadlines, changed the rules, and just generally dicked with the law at least 30 times without any statutory ability to do so. This time to avoid penalty all the citizen has to do is check a box on a computer screen and claim that signing up would present a “hardship”. No proof needed, or even asked for.  Why aren’t our taxes set up like that?

Far too few people to permit the law to properly function have signed up, and the number of those who have not paid is closely hidden by Team Obama. Even worse the percentage of young to older signups is way out of whack. The number of youths signing up is less than 25%, about 40%  is needed to offset the older signups. Obama is beginning it’s widely forecast death spiral.  It’s you and I who will have to pay to bail them out. Team Obama must have known that this would happen, because they built bailouts into the law so that insurance companies would not be harmed by the bill. The law is a mess, the website is an abortion, and the implementation of the law would have been better managed by Mrs. Gokey’s 3rd grade class.

Even Democrat campaign “experts” are urging their clients to run away from the law, they urge them to say that “we knew that the law was flawed when we passed it, but we planned to fix it later.”  The Democrat governance of our nation since 2007 will go down in history as one of the worst periods of our history.


Part 3) Once again I urge those who read these humble postings to send their comments and opinions. Our Deer Ed has arranged so that your opinion will be anonymous, I will not have your email address or your name. I’ll publish any email that is even remotely cogent. Don’t bother to send insults or profanity, that junk will be junked. I ask our liberal/progressive/democrat friends if they have the courage of their “convictions.”

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(Ed: Please hold off on using this form today because I screwed it up, but will correct it today.)