2014 October

Thursday, October 16, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsAnonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

[Holocaust Denier?] As American Citizens we have the right to deny the Holocaust if we wish. It’s illegal to do in 17 other countries of the world. I don’t deny it happened, only deny the misrepresentation that it was only 6 million Jews targeted. Over 5 million other people deemed unfit to exist were also killed as part of the Final Solution. The whole Nazi thing was about race purification and eugenics, so they targeted anyone who didn’t fit the profile. Jews just happened to be the majority and the most hated, thus it was rather easy to brand anyone they didn’t like a Jew, even those who fit their profile, but they didn’t like for other reasons. Many of those who fit their profile and took orders were sent to the front lines to die as their more purer blond hair-blue eyed types, or Aryans, stayed back and bred children in secret. So if everyone would please get off the “6 million Jews” bandwagon and figure in the other 5 million plus. All those who were duped took orders and died at the front, the figure is considerably higher. Link
[“18 tons of Crisco stolen”] New Jersey law enforcement agencies were closing in on the Crisco thieves after a large grease slick was sighted off the beach at Atlantic City.  Witness statements described the sighting of a number of large creatures wallowing in the surf near shore and were originally thought to be a pod of whales trying to beach themselves.  Nearby security cameras identified the sighting as four Jersey women.  Before the culprits could be apprehended they slipped through the perimeter.  A marine environmental expert said that the slick was so large it may reach as far south as Florida and could possibly reach the Keys by December.
[Whistleblower] Listen to nurses who blow the whistle on shoddy Ebola care. Now you should be scared! Link
For sale 2001 Yamaha 250, Saltwater model outboard motor, 600 hrs, runs excellent, asking $3500. Classified Ads > Boats
How it used to be is exactly why Eleanor McAdams is running for Commissioner. She thinks the Keys are heading in the wrong direction and wants to turn it around.
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impatient tap finger waiting
[Waiting] Have you ever noticed that the people that are late are much jollier than the people that waited for them?
Gov. Rick Scott has asked for 100 special suits from the federal government as well as 30 additional Ebola testing kits but the request has not been granted. Scott previously called on hospitals to hold mandatory training to prepare their employees for Ebola. The department reported Wednesday that only 39 hospitals in Florida have reported that their training is complete.
[Lost Bug Contract] The Florida Keys Mosquito Control District board decided Wednesday it will not appeal the loss of the $600,000 Navy contract, but the agency’s executive director did not leave the meeting unscathed. Former Comptroller William Southcott, who oversaw the Navy contract for years, blamed Executive Director Michael Doyle for the loss of the contract.
grim reaper16[The Borowitz Report] The president of CNN Worldwide, Jeff Zucker, attempted on Wednesday to defuse the brewing controversy over his decision to change the network’s official slogan from “The Most Trusted Name in News” to “Holy Crap, We’re All Gonna Die.” “This exciting new slogan is just one piece of our over-all rebranding strategy,” Zucker said. “Going forward, we want CNN to be synonymous with the threat of imminent death.” He added that the network expected to see strong ratings growth as a result of having the words “Holy Crap, We’re All Gonna Die” on-screen twenty-four hours a day. Part of Zucker’s new strategy was on display during Tuesday’s edition of the network’s signature program, “The Situation Room,” in which a visibly ill-at-ease Wolf Blitzer appeared dressed as The Grim Reaper. “That’s a work in progress,” Zucker said about Blitzer’s makeover. “But once Wolf gets comfortable swinging that scythe, he’s going to be amazing.”
[President Obama Signs Waterways Bill] On June 11, President Obama signed the Water Resources Reform and Development Act (WRBDA) into law. The mea­sure, which has been called “The Highway Bill For Boaters,” is the funding mechanism for the nation’s waterway infra­structure and makes funds available for the maintenance of vital boating spots nationwide. Although the bill focuses on major ports and thoroughfares critical to our nation’s shipping economy, this reauthorization is particularly important to recreational boaters as well. The bill signed into law addresses the maintenance and dredging for small harbors and shallow-draft channels, which has been chronically underfunded.For years many channels and inlets, as well as locks and dams, have not qualified for funding because of the measurement tool used by the Army Corps of Engineers. Historically the Corps has prioritized fund­ing needs by total tonnage going through the areas, rather than considering the other various uses of the nation’s waterways. The 2013 WRPDA directs the Army Corps of Engineers to consider factors beyond total tonnage shipped when making dredging funding decisions. It also requires that not less than 10 percent of the value of opera­tion and maintenance funds be given to “Emerging Harbors” or those that have less than 1 million tons of cargo shipped annu­ally, and directs the Army Corps to report to Congress on the maintenance needs of the Atlantic Intracoastal Waterway.
Ed, In the past month the CT has really expanded. I really enjoy reading and posting on it. Thank you everyone for sending in such varied posts. Keep it up!
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conch-shell-beach16[“How it use to be”] Before the completion of the 7 Mile Bridge, traffic of any kind did not exist in the lower Keys. The tourist season ran from Christmas through Easter — period. Before the mangroves grew up, driving down US 1 from Key Largo to Key West presented endless Gulf and Atlantic water views. Attendance at the first Fantasy Festival involved maybe 5000 people, all of whom were in costume and high spirits. The vibrant fish and coral colors at Looe Key and Pennecamp took your breath away. Conch shells and sponges were everywhere on the ocean floor. Joe Roth’s Holiday Isle was the place to be for live entertainment on weekends. Long Key had the Little Italy restaurant. Duck Key had Indies Inn. Grassy Key featured Flippers Sea School, seaplane rides to Fort Jefferson, Joe Joe’s, Grassy Key Dairy Bar and Gallagher’s. Marathon had 4 reliable airlines servicing its airport plus it had The Buccaneer, Pancho’s, The Quay, and a bowling alley and a skating rink. Big Pine had The Mariners Resort, Baltimore Oyster House, Cedar Inn and Montego Bay.Cruise ship passengers and cheap T-shirt shops did not exist in Key West. Rents and home prices were reasonable. Insurance rates were affordable, the police force friendly, neighbors helped neighbors, crime was minimal, and peace was plentiful. There’s always been the bubba system so that hasn’t changed. I will end with the happy attitude most residents had for being able to live in this area — one of the wonders of the world!
At last night’s governor debate the only memory I took away was Scott side-stepping questions.
[Second nurse gets Ebola] A second Dallas nurse caught the disease from a patient and flew across the Midwest aboard an airliner the day before she fell ill, even though government guidelines should have kept her off the plane. She called the CDC and asked if she could fly and they said yes. Link
[Fantasy Fest] A Disney family-themed cruise ship will be docking at Mallory Pier during Fantasy Fest. That should be interesting
[“The way it used to be in the Keys”] A poster asked what I liked about the old days. One big thing is there was no traffic. One time on the old Seven Mile Bridge my roof blew off and I was able to stop on the bridge, retrieve the roof, and fix it. During that whole episode not one car was seen. Today someone would be dead and traffic would be backed up for hours in both directions.
The Turks are finally showing their true colors. They just attacked our Kurdish friends. Our only friends
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[Governor Debate] Both governor candidates failed to answer if they thought the world was 6,000 years old. Both evaded the answer for fear of the religious Right. That’s a sin.
[Bottled Water] Has anyone else noticed that the bottled Winn Dixie Spring Water has a plastic or unpleasant taste?
quarantine symbol15
] Why can’t we quarantine anyone coming in from another country for 22 days? We quarantine pets coming in for six weeks to prevent the spread of rabies unless the country we bring them from has been rabies free for 10 years. Quarantine would be costly and inconvenient, but not as inconvenient as an epidemic or dying.
[“The way it used to be in the Keys“] Specifically, but not in any random order: For starters, it was really laid back because U.S. 1 had a lot less traffic. Only the brave dared the chance at swapping mirrors along the old bridges. There were more vacant lots between houses, the canal water was bluer, there were lots of angelfish, parrot fish, lobster, and small tropical fish in the canals.So few folks lived in Key West, you only dialed 5 numbers to ring a phone there — the area code and 29 prefix were assumed.It was affordable here. Fishing was a good job and you got served fresh locally caught fillets of dolphin, cobia or wahoo regularly when you went out. Fish and shrimp were so cheap and plentiful that restaurants offered all-you-can-eat nights. That’s something I really miss, knowing I was getting Keys caught seafood. Sadly, most of what we see now is flown from South America or Asia to MIA and trucked down here before it is cut into portions and distributed. R.I.P. Monte’s on Summerland, K.D.’s on Big Pine and the good ol’ way-too-late-nights at Mangrove Mommas. Oh and Bobalou’s. I miss Lucy’s key lime pies too.I could go on, but as we all know things change and paradise for those new here should be as exciting as it once was for a different generation
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table fan
[Last Night’s Debate] Florida Gov. Rick Scott delayed the start of a debate because of an electric fan below Democratic challenger Charlie Crist’s podium. Crist was alone on the stage for about five minutes Wednesday night at Broward College because Scott said Crist’s fan violated a rule against the use of electronic devices. Crist always uses an electronic fan at public appearances to avoid sweating. He called Scott’s position ridiculous. Today Scott is denying the facts — again.
The Republic can survive a fool for a president. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their president.
Could you be immune to Ebola? Scientists claim those naturally protected from virus could play a vital role in stopping its spread. Experts in the US say a study into a past Ebola outbreak found 71% of people who had close contact with a victim and tested positive never fell ill. Another showed 46% who came into close contact and did not get sick had evidence of infection with the Ebola virus. Team at universities of Texas and Florida believe the virus is silently immunizing a significant portion of the West African population. If they can be identified it could be vital in helping stop the spread of disease. They could be recruited as health workers to care for the sick. Natural immunity could mean they can offer blood transfusions as treatment.
wrecked-on-reef16Discovery Saturday — Wrecked on the Reef
Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center 35 East Quay Road, Key West, FL
Saturday, October 18th
10:00 am – 11:00 amKids in kindergarten through fifth grade are invited to join the free, fun-filled Discovery Saturday at the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center (35 East Quay Road, Key West) on Saturday, October 18th from 10:00 am — 11:00 am. Discover the history of treasures lost and found as you learn about pirates, shipwrecks, and how the Keys’ wreckers worked for a living. Make your own nautical flag to take home!  Free admission and free parking. For more information contact 305-809-4750.
[“Flashlight App”] A cybersecurity threat that could be lurking on your phone. If you own a smart phone or tablet you best listen and view this information. Video
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[Lost in Space
] I’m now convinced that most Americans couldn’t find their butt with a map and a GPS.
[“Only 3 more Sunday editions of the Coconut Telegraph”] Ahh, come on Ed., we need that fix on Sundays to off-set the churchers and holy rollers. We understand why Saturdays were cut, it’s a Jewish holy day. How about cutting Friday’s too for our raghead brothers?
Oasis Of The Seas is the world’s largest cruise ship. What’s next? Imagine if it comes here! Can’t wait to see it tied up at Mallory Square.  There won’t be enough tee shirts on Duval for all those passengers. Link
rocket riveted
[Space Survival Conspiracy
] What it is no one is saying for obvious reasons, but there is so much not being said? There’s so much being done in space lately that the chosen few will be watching from way up there. Oh well, nothing lasts forever and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. So when the time comes, grab a case of hooch, and jump into a pile of virgin nuns and party your ass off!
[Secret Military Space Plane] this plane was in orbit for more than 600 days. Space cams, or zappers, or both! Didn’t Orwell write about this? Link
[“The way it used to be in the Keys”] We used to only have 5 numbers to dial on our phones. That’s where 5 Sixes Cabs got their name. You could just dial 66666 and a cab would come
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[Gas $2.79] Greetings from Greenville SC. And this is not using “Fuel Perks”. I hope this is going to last or get even better.
[“The way it used to be in the Keys“] 56-60 shrimp was $1.04 a pound if you bought it from Singleton’s.
You can always tell when you are hearing  a new disc jockey on any local radio station.  They don’t know what to say so they tell you the temperatures up and down the Keys about every five minutes.
[Desert Storm 3] If you want American troops dragged into the Islamic civil war within the Muslim religion, if you want boots on the ground by the tens of thousands –vote Republican. We all know it’s what they want. War’s their solution. Ask Senator John McCain the past Presidential candidate or House Speaker John Boehner. I’m not even including the Republican kooks!
[Neugent] For all those folks who vote or will vote this November let me give you a simple example so you can make your choice. I, as a new resident, purchased a home here 3 years ago and I am still waiting for George to respond to my 4 emails and 3 phone calls. I’ve been waiting for at least two years. To those who talk to George all the time, I’d like to know why you seem to have his ear, while many of us never have had George even
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pull finger to fart
[Confession of a Fart] I’m a toot. I relieve gastric discomfort. I make a nice little trumpet sound. I heat your body with my music.. So don’t run away from me. Run toward me. Waft me into your loved ones. Waft me into the skies and over the seas. Embrace my onion miasma. Because I’m your creation. I’m your Little toot baby. And I Love you
[“The way it used to be in the Keys”] Rents were from $150 to $600 a month and there was parking in old town
[Secret fan prompts Crist during debate] Scott refused to go on! At the beginning of last nights debate a man announced on the air that Governor Scott would not be taking part in the debate because Charlie Crist had a fan, an “electronic device” (a violation of debate rules), under his podium. (CNN, Al Jazeera, NBC)
The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club holds its monthly Show & Shine CAR SHOW this Sunday, October, 19th. Noon to 4pm. This event is for the lovers of classic, custom, and street rod automobiles of all years and makes. Fords, Chevys, trucks, sports cars, and chrome loaded motorcycles. If it cool and on wheels it will be here. This fun event at our great location at the Sugarloaf Lodge, MM17, on Sugarloaf Key will have Prizes, 50/50 raffle, and opportunity to vote for “The People’s Choice”.  That classic will take home a beautiful plaque. Southernmost Car Club shirts are only  $10  &  $12. Cold beverages are available for purchase at the Tiki Bar. Bring the kids to enjoy these beautiful relics of the auto world. This is a free event.Club members are seeking new members for a full schedule of Club events.   For more information contact Dick Moody 305-942-1758
[Ebola] Coming soon to a neighbor near you!
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vote rotate
Every day on CT someone whines and moans and bitches about the sewers and grinder pumps.  Well, your chance is coming to do something about it. It’s called election day. Get off your lazy can and vote!  You already have what you voted for last election.  Either vote in some new people or shut your pie holes.
This present contagion of “Factious”  which has reached epidemic proportions in the Keys, and seems to be running rampant on the C.T. is certainly cause for alarm. It appears that after trashing F.T.R. the victims have now zeroed in on Fox News. I have personally appealed to F.T.R to slightly begin to spin his numerous facts, but realistically doubt that I could have any effect on Fox News. We will all suffer if this constant barrage of realism and facts continues. As we all well know, those complaining about these facts have a loose grip on reality to begin with, and our various institutions are all pretty well swelled to capacity.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
Anger management classes piss me off! THEY’RE A WASTE OF TIME!!!!
drunk16Keys Disease Cocktail
3 parts Loneliness
2 parts Frustration
1 part Withdrawal
4 parts Alcohol
1 twist of RealityPour over ice, shake or stir until mixed and serve in a large shatter proof glass.
[“ISIS not afraid to die“] Let me know when the imams start strapping on bomb vests.
[“The way it used to be in the Keys“] You could tell a local from a tourist because all Monroe County license plates started with 38.
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[Captain doom and Gloom
] “Ann Romney: If Mitt had been elected president, ‘I do not believe there would have been an invasion in Ukraine’” This is a riot. The balls of these people to think a Texas idiot holy roller could possibly compete with Putin.  They have to be the most inept morons ever! Link“National Coalition to Seek Federal Support for New Water Supplies” Current members of the Coalition include American Water, Eastern Municipal Water District (CA), El Dorado Irrigation District (CA), Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority, Honolulu Board of Water Supply, JEA Jacksonville, FL, Metropolitan Water District of Southern California, San Diego County Water Authority, San Gabriel Basin Water Quality Authority (CA). Follow the money! LinkDEF: EBOLA SUIT, n, A simple minded contraption to fictionally protect the wearer form death until the wearer has to take a dump!
The Jersey girl basher needs to get a life. Get over whatever she did to you–you probably deserved it. By the way, Jersey girl basher, are you a female?
The Obama Administration’s response to the Ebola outbreak in Dallas reminds me of the response by Communist authorities to the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster. In both cases, authorities were ill prepared, lied that everything was OK and respective heroic first responders died. And we derided the Communists for their failure. Yet, our government’s Ebola response appears as inept, duplicitous, with people dying. It appears we have become them!
Why should the Dems bother to worry about the GOP taking over the Senate?  What more could they do than they  already has done for the past 6 years in jamming up everything Obama has tried to do for the American people?
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[“No reply”] The reason you see few or no responses to political comment is not that no one cares, it’s that political foolishness belongs down at the end if the CT where FTR’s musings are, and no one with any common sense ever goes ‘below the beltline’ to read that nonsense.
The human mind is a wonderous thing — use yours for reason. Don’t waste your brain cells reading stupid political opinions written by zealots or political koo koos. (perhaps the same thing). Politics makes our nation great. Political commentary by extremist lunatics makes out nation a loser.
from the right
BUSH LIED AND PEOPLE DIED……..The cries were and still are shrill and hysterical. BUSH LIED AND PEOPLE DIED was shrieked with as much fervor and self-righteousness as those who shriek Allahu Akbar.Today, more than a decade later those words are Democrat Dogma. Even some Republicans, Independents, and Tea Party types have been convinced that Saddam did not have an arsenal of WMD, specifically chemical warfare munitions. That is the dogma even though it has been fully and totally proven that he did possess and use WMD to butcher thousands of civilians. In 1988 he killed or wounded about 15k residents of a Kurdish town. He used Chem weapons in his war against Iran.The dogma persists even though Saddam bragged of having WMD. The leftist party line is that GWB fabricated the notion that Saddam had WMD so as to justify the invasion of Iraq.Yesterday the New York Times, that bulwark of liberality, the Great Gray Lady, published an exposé that proves that WMD was present in Saddam’s Iraq at the time of invasion.   Their expose’ tells us that thousands of WMD chem weapons have been discovered in Iraq since the end of the war. But, being the voice of the liberals, it claims that the weapons were out of date and of no military significance.

Nonetheless, Saddam’s WMD managed to wound American service personnel. The NYT reported: “From 2004 to 2011, American and American-trained Iraqi troops repeatedly encountered, and on at least six occasions were wounded by, chemical weapons remaining from years earlier in Saddam Hussein’s rule.”

“In all, American troops secretly reported finding roughly 5,000 chemical warheads, shells or aviation bombs, according to interviews with dozens of participants, Iraqi and American officials, and heavily redacted intelligence documents obtained under the Freedom of Information Act.”

The NYT investigation found 17 American service members and seven Iraqi police officers who were exposed to nerve or mustard agents after 2003. But, the NYT also learned that the actual toll was higher. Our government refused to release the data, claiming it was “classified.” I urge you to read the entire article. Link

Perhaps you’re wondering why it matters now. It matters because ISIS now controls much of the Iraq real estate that nearly certainly harbors even more of Saddam’s WMD. As recently as 2011 hundreds of WMD rounds were discovered. They still can be used to wreak terror.