2013 April

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Like Letters To The Editor With Pictures

Classified Ads     Bulletin Board     Business Directory      Contact Us      More …    


[Bombs] The two bombs at the Boston Marathon accomplished nothing but hurt and fear. Is that their purpose? I can’t think of any other. Yes I know the –get out of the Mideast reason,  but we all know that’s just an excuse to kill. If we get out of the Mideast they’ll keep bombing anyway until we convert.  Is it for retribution like Timothy McFey’s bombing in Oklahoma City? I’m going with the hurt and fear reason.







[On a Happier Note] Swiss chemist Albert Hoffman discovered the hallucinogenic effects of LSD on this date in 1943.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 

[Do Nothings] SHARK’S board of directors from the president on down to the non voting members have displayed zero interest in supporting the day to day activities at the Marathon animal shelter. The only outside fundraising events that any of the board members have ever shown their face at were held at the extravagant home of the president herself, more of a gathering of the who’s who and the self serving elitists of the Marathon area. In the two years that SHARK has operated the shelter, all the board members combined, have darkened the doorway to the shelter itself less times than the number of fingers I posses on my right hand. Not one board member ever lifted a finger to establish, bid for, or help to run the animal shelter itself. They haven’t walked, washed, fed or scooped poop to even one animal at the shelter… (See: Long Winded Tomes below)

[Rowell’s Marina] I don’t like the idea of buying any land to be used for parks at this time, but the dilemma is the County had better buy it before it’s sold for condos. That desirable waterfront property will be good for the locals and tourists alike. Can’t they make some kind of deal to delay the purchase until the County gets back on it’s purse.
sheep19[Be a Sheeple] Absent normal communication, humans can be as impressionable as a flock of sheep. If one member of a walking group is instructed to move toward a target, though other mem­bers may not know the target – or even that there is a target – the whole group will eventually be shepherded in its direction.

Toughest or dumbest gooses on the planet? Link




Depths of major shipwrecks. 

I learned something from watching  TV’s Cops too. Never do a drug deal in a grocery store parking lot in south Florida. It is always a sting. 

Freshman Congressman Holly Rashcein co-sponsor of Community Cat bill. First she showed that she’s in Balfour Beatty’s pocket; now she shows that she’s in Ocean Reef’s pocket. Looks as if this was kept quiet by local media. Link

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 



On April 14, 1944 Eisenhower Chastises Patton. 49 days before D Day Eisenhower summons General Patton and chastises him over his ignorant comment to the press that “Anglo-Saxons to Rule Post War World.” Patton almost got sent home.

[Dredging For T-Shirts] Three million to dredge the canal so they can get mega cruise ships, larger than Key West, to visit and buy a t-shirt. Why don’t they just mechanize this former fishing city.


an_earth_day2Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center celebrates Earth Day this Saturday. In celebration of Earth Day,Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary will show a series of six, ocean-themed short films highlighting ocean climate, energy and biodiversity on Saturday, April 20 at the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center in Key West. The films, produced by the World Ocean Observatory and Compass Light Films, will be shown at the top of the hour from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Also on Saturday, kids in kindergarten through fifth grade are invited to join the free, fun-filled Discovery Saturday at the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. This month’s theme is “Turtle Talk,” during which time youngsters will play a game of turtle hurdles and make their own sea turtle puppet while learning about the importance of protecting these endangered animals. Discovery Saturday is held the third Saturday of every month. For more information Bulletin Board

[Political Correctness] Being PC is out of control. California Attorney General Kamala Harris is declining to address President Barack Obama’s comments that sparked a national discussion about whether compliments paid to a woman detract from her accomplishments. Obama called Harris the nation’s “best-looking” attorney general at a fundraiser. He also described her as brilliant, dedicated and tough, but commenting on her appearance has gotten a lot of anals up in arms. It seems he should not have noticed that she was good looking even though it was spoken at a fundraiser where the mood was merry and light.

an down market

[Bombs] The stock market went down 256 points after the Boston bombing was announced!  And there was a rush to buy bonds. 

“Men, you have two choices: Let us win the argument, then apologize; or win the argument, watch us cry, then apologize.” ~Women



[“Stolen sand dollar pave”] When my son was born we put a baby conch shell on a stick and put it in the front yard as we were told was customary when a cronch baby was born. Then a day later someone had stolen both shell and stick. The shell was really old and belonged to a very old woman from a founding conch family whose house we had purchased.

Sharp Dressed Man (Walt Disney’s New World Zorro). The original Zorro was a snappier dresser than the Disney one. Video

ZZ Top – Sharp Dressed Man

bakeryscan[Barcoding Fresh Baked] Japanese bakeries are known for their myriad types of bread-sweet bean bun, tuna cheese bread, custard pastry-and lots of them look alike. So how do you train clerks to memorize the names and prices of more than a hundred varieties? If you’re a popu- lar bakery chain like DonQ where employee turnover is high, you don’t.

One of its Tokyo locations now uses a system that relies on a smart cash register capable of identifying treats by sight rather than depending on a flunky cashier who can’t. The solution wasn’t obvious right away. A pilot test at another Japanese bakery proved that offering more kinds of bread meant earning more dough, but employees couldn’t remember all the prices. So the shop tried wrapping each item in cellophane and slapping on a barcode sticker.

Custom­ers didn’t like their bread prepackaged, though, so sales dropped by two-thirds. It’s impossible to put a barcode directly on the pastries. Called Bakery-Scan, it’s a camera perched above a backlit countertop. The software compares images of each snack to those of all the goods for sale-it can even correctly identify one that’s a bit overdone. Once it finds a match, it coughs up a price. Success rate: 98 percent. Sure, this seems like a lot of effort for bean buns, but the researchers behind the technol­ogy say the premise could work with other items too, like fresh produce and medicine. The team at Brain hopes to market Bakery-Scan stateside soon (for just $20,000 per machine). The ultimate goal: to replace the barcode entirely 

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.  

pants16[Fashion Police] If you’re a fan of saggy pants,  avoid the town of Terrebonne Parish, LA as the trend there is now illegal. The Terrebonne Parish council recently voted to outlaw saggy pants, vowing to fine anyone caught with their pants drooping below their waist.

First time offenders will reportedly be fined $50, while a second offense will cost them $100.

Despite advocates’ claim saying that wearing saggy pants was freedom of expression and banning it would be unconstitutional, the council voted eight to one in favor of the ordinance. Link

[Canals] I have a neighbor that thinks the canal is a place to get rid of whatever he has.  One day he was digging large holes to plant some new plants so the wheel barrow loads of dirt got dumped in the canal. 

cicada16[Cicadas] Brood II, as ento­mologists call the specific swarm of cicadas, is set to reemerge after 17 years of living underground. The bugs will swarm the eastern seaboard. The largest swarms will be from New York to North Carolina. There will be cicadas in the billions in a slow-motion mating ritual that guar­antees no number of hungry birds (or twisted suburban kids) will be able to threaten the spe­cies’ survival. will be the de facto command center, offering a forum where photos and videos from like-minded Magici­cada aficionados will document the arrival of the winged insects.

After nearly two decades of feeding on tree roots, Brood II cicadas will disinter themselves, anchor to a branch, molt, sing, mate, and die. The next generation will then make its way underground, biding its time until 2030.

Brood III will be turning up in Iowa sometime next year. Link

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.  

Check out the Everglades restoration update and boater education in the News & Notes section. Link



Up to date geopolitical map of Florida.

Please ring the Peace Bell at the Community Peace Park in Key West at West Martello Tower, at the top of the hill overlooking the ocean. Peace now!




[Rowell’s Marina] I can not believe that with the county’s real estate experience with the Hickory House and the economic condition of our budget that our commissioners are considering another land purchase. 

[Deleting Information from Electronic Media] This method to erase everything from a Floppy Disk to a Cube Storage Unit and works 99%. The only thing that works 100% is a welder’s torch! Link


an_help-wanted-smFull or part time pizza chef. Day or night shift. Food handler card a plus. Will train the right person. Pay based on experience, up to $12 an hr. 305-872-7444 ask for Jim. Classified Ads > Help Wanted

[Kudos to Marathon] The plantings going on in the medians of Marathon are great. It beautifies the road and shows that someone in the County/City Office takes pride in how the town looks.

I guess the Key Deer would eat them all if the plants were planted in Big Pine, wouldn’t they?



Eh? … what’s that noise!

[Captain Doom and Gloom] “politically correct” What a joke the holies are making out our country. While shopping in a KW supermarket, I noticed all the magazines that have girls in swimsuits on the check out magazine racks have censor covers over the girls so our little mutant kiddies do not see a titty or two. What is this country coming to, a castrated bunch of sissies? Enough with the censor crap. Just maybe your little darling billy will grow up to be a man instead of a wimp!


[“Things that happened while Ed enjoyed his vacation that FTR will never share (to be continued)”] Alan Hays, a Republican state senator in Florida, is a co-sponsor of a bill in Florida, that has seen little movement in the state legislature due to the lack of any precedent that would warrant the need to ban Sharia law. Such measures have contributed to the deterioration of relations between the GOP and Muslim voters, who were once considered a swing constituency but have overwhelmingly supported Democratic candidates since the 2008 presidential election just before Obama was going to impose Sharia law by executive order.

Rubio gets his marching orders from the Drudge Report.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 

I agree that Nancy Pelosi is a bit strange, but the craziest politician on the planet is Michelle Bachmann. Talk about a loon.

[Mortgage Rates Continue to Accommodate] A month or so ago, we thought rising mortgage rates (or at least rates maintaining a higher plateau) would be the norm.

So much for prognostications: Mortgage rates dropped again this week; this time, on a disappointing jobs report, which showed the economy in March created far fewer jobs than most economists had expected. Jobs reflect economic growth, and if the economy isn’t growing neither is loan demand… and neither will interest rates.

The Federal Reserve remains determined to keep mortgage rates low for the relevant future. Minutes of the most recent meeting of the Fed governors reveals most still support the on-going policy of purchasing $85 billion in longer-term Treasury and mortgage-backed securities each month.

The Fed’s demand for these securities helps keep mortgage rates low because private buyers know there is a ready market for these securities, thus mitigating interest-rate risk – the risk of capital loss should interest rates rise.


right only grey

an pig shadesYesterday’s item that spoke to people quitting the work force had a tiny nugget of merit. The poster was right in his/her belief that quitting the work force is often a personal decision. The poster was wrong in suggesting that Mr. Obama and our government have no fault in the matter. They do. While acting good faith, with good intentions, they have morphed our societal safety nets into comfortable hammocks. That governance has resulted in many families being on welfare for several generations. I personally have interacted with families that have been on welfare for 4 generations. Liberal  governance now provides fairly comfortable compensation for those who are capable of work, but who choose not to work. Currently people can collect u/e compensation for nearly 2 years.  The number of persons claiming disability payments from Social Security has skyrocketed. Food stamp usage is at record highs, and the Obama admin is advertising food stamps so as to increase the number of people who claim them. All forms of welfare have become so comfortable that many simply choose to take the hand out rather than work.

Our welfare/safety net has become far too comfortable for far too many people. For many the lure of “free” living is irresistible. We have spawned generations of people who have become completely convinced that the government owes them a living. Free food of all kinds, free housing, free telephones, free medical care, free dental care, free vision care, “supplemental income” checks which are rebates on income taxes that the recipient did not pay to begin with.  The freebie menu is long and varied: free college grants, free Internet service, free school lunches, free cash — they all beckon to a “poverty” lifestyle unlike any in the history of mankind.

As Americans, we have come to consider prosperity and freedom as our birthright. But in an amazingly prescient quote, Thomas, Jefferson is reported to have said, “The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.”

Currently, more than 40 million people in the U.S. receive food stamps, that’s more than the population of many nations.  57 million are on Medicaid, and about an additional 30 million will be covered by Obamacare. Virtually none of the above will contribute even a single tax dollar. We are getting dangerously close to having a majority of our voters as wards of the federal government. When that day arrives, sooner rather than later, our “birthright” of prosperity and freedom will be only a memory.

 No Name Key Electric

Has No Name Key got electric permits to hook to the lines outside their homes yet ? If not, who’s holding the permits up?


(continued from above)…They haven’t walked, washed, fed or scooped poop to even one animal at the shelter.

Every member was brought into the fold by the hard working woman that did put in all the effort and start up cost to establishing a not for profit corporation. One board member, a local accountant, even outright lied and blamed the director for lack of proper book keeping when she time and time again requested his help, which he had previously promised. Saved e-mails brought to light his uselessness and lying nature, to which no one ever held him accountable. After this the board promised the director a book keeper but would not let her hire one herself, and to this day 18 months later, there is still no book keeper. I have been behind the scenes since before the inception of SHARK. Although I turned down a spot on the board I was a driving factor to the founding of this project, until the day I read the proposed contract with the county. Being that it was totally unfair and one sided favoring the county of Monroe, I plead with the director not to sign it. She didn’t care how badly she would be funded by the county, her passion was for the animals. After a year of service in which the board had set wages lower than that of the previous contractor and had spent about 3/4 of what the county!

had committed, they made no adjustment in order to get closer to the contracted amount. In my belief the wages at that time should have been raised so that SHARK employees would make a living wage, but I guess that the board enjoys saving the county money at the expense of their own employees. I could write a letter filling the whole keynoter about the useless nature and inadequacies of this board, which I may have already done, but I would like to see this letter in print. Maybe I have been a little hard on the board, for they did show plenty of interest in the words of detractors and individuals who enjoy slandering others. I know for a fact that altleast one disgruntled ex employee went on a campaign of lies and slander in an attempt to cost the director her job after he had been fired. And what employee would not be disgruntled working like a dog for 20 grand a year, full time. I guess it worked, for the only adjustment that the board made for the animal shelter was one of complete ignorance, but you can only expect ignorance from those who not only ignore their duties, but ignore truth as well. The SHARK board of directors pushed Katie Bentley from her position on the 12th of April, without any warning or valid reasoning, citing animal neglect which is not only unfounded, but preposterous, and citing the fact that individuals with extremely weak reasons for surrendering their animals were not sent away with cake and roses. What a joke? It is a shame that such passionless people with next to nil experience in the animal shelter world would push out the only individual in Monroe county that not only put in the time to get this off the ground, but literally put all the blood, sweat and tears she had to offer into this venture. Her only mistake was to have faith in her board! This instance leaves me with the memory of words last said to me over two years ago when this journey began. After coming down hard on Linda Gottwald for the way she ran the shelter and for effectively taking complete control of! A non profit, which by law control remains with the board. One of her supporters and I believe an employee of hers said to me “Do you know how hard it is to find board members in Monroe county who will do what they say they will and lend a helping hand with the operation of the shelter? Just wait, you’ll see.” My eyes have been opened and I now see. You have my sincere apologies Linda Gottwald. ~With concern, John W.

P.S. It has come to my attention that Mathew Showalter has claimed to be the driving force behind the termination of Katie Bentley. Mathew as of April 12 was not even an employee of SHARK. His wife Jennifer was at that time a part time employee. Mathew is now in effect running the animal shelter with absolutely zero experience. Him and his wife are recent transplants from Oklahoma and within 3 days have already been seen as people who have no idea how to run a shelter, but neither does the board. It is a match made in heaven. They are not even close to being considered locals. What a shame. Furthermore SHARK was founded as a NO KILL shelter, and at this time Mathew and the Board are attempting to ship out numerous animals, and they are attempting to so before the shelter is reopened to the public. In that manner they are keeping the local public from having the chance to step in and adopt some of these animals. If the Board allows this transplant to have his way, which they have already done, It is a slap in the face of our whole community and any other individual supporting the no kill concept. As many of the animals kept at the shelter are of the bulldog nature, they will surely be euthanized. I for one do not trust the board to make good decisions as they have shown no interest before and have certainly shown a propensity for ignorance and arrogance. Ignorance and arrogance when bred together are able to create an astonishingly amount of stupidity. In this case it has gone far beyond stupidity. They have shown themselves to be ablolute A– Holes. Mathew Showalter is an outright liar and a slanderous individual. In the keys we are met with transplants almost daily. Many of these individuals are searching for happiness, something that only comes from within. In saying that, these types of individuals end up leaving a trail of wreckage everywhere they go. The wreckage begins. Do we really want our community full of these types of people. I say not. We who actually care about SHARK and what it stands for are appalled. The fore bearers of this project saw it as a great benefit that the Board was filled with well to do citizens of the Marathon area. It did not take long for it to be apparent that it was the worst move that could have ever been made for this foundation. I plead with Katie Bentley for over a year to call them out for the inadequacies and shame them into the place that they belong. I warned her that her own board would be her downfall due to their arrogance and inactivity with the shelter, combined with their aloofness and propensity to shoot first and question later, if they question at all. I believe the board of directors should be shipped out of county for euthanasia, not the animals that have been loved and cared for by the Marathon animal shelter for as many as eight years. Just because careless transplants arrive on our shores it does not mean that we make room for them by shipping our animals out. Animals who before now were guaranteed a place to live out their lives. Off with the boards heads and ship the okies home. Keep our animals in their homes, and let the locals run the community. Contact you local Government! Thanks!