2013 April

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Like Letters To The Editor With Pictures

Classified Ads     Bulletin Board     Business Directory      Contact Us      More …    

There must be two Pigeon Keys.  One you can see from the Seven Mile bridge that mostly stands empty and a second one out of sight somewhere with lots of people on it every day.


[“Clean ceramic sharpener”]  I use Comet cleanser to clean my ceramic sharpener.



Ceramic Steel knife sharpeners can be cleaned with common scrubbers and Comet type household cleaners. Make a paste of the Comet and water and scrub with an abrasive cleaning pad. It will take about 80% of the residue out of the pores of the ceramic steel.

[Illegal Immigrants] It’s actually a pretty simple scam. If they earn money, illegal immigrants have to file returns. Since they’re not supposed to have social security numbers, the IRS gives them an ITIN, or “Individual Taxpayer Identification Number.” Because the ITIN isn’t tied specifically to their, or anyone’s, identity the way a social security number is, they have a lot of room to maneuver and maneuver they do. Link
When I grow up I want to be Betty White.

[“SHARK Shelter”] Where does animal control go from here? In the middle keys animal control is ran by SHARK. It has been for the past two years. When they were awarded the contract, it was one individual that held all the experience and positions necessary for them to be awarded the contract. That individual was Kathleen Bentley. They have since forced her out. Now they have absolutely no one with the experience or even the knowledge to run animal control in the middle keys.

This has been apparent in the community already. The only animal control officer that they retain has a maximum of 60 days experience as such. She has already been writing tickets in our community without following the proper procedures. An elderly gentleman who can barely get around left his dogs in his car with the windows down while he picked up a few goods at Publix. He returned to a 200 dollar ticket being written to him by an animal control officer who in turn would not provide him with her information.

Not only was the procedure wrong, but I believe that any officer of the law is required to state who they are when asked, and provide their badge# or any other identifying documentation that they possess! She did not. Furthermore she should have had him paged in Publix and then offered a warning first. If it in fact was illegal, the warning would go on file so that a fine could be issued if it happened again. This has been the procedure under SHARK and previous contractors. But no one currently involved with SHARK knows the law, or the procedure.

Being that there are only 4 animal control officers in the Marathon area. The current employee of shark, Liz, who who does not posses the knowledge to do the job. Kathleen Bentley which they have terminated. And two others that I will not name. One who has “retired” from the middle keys shelter, had around 15 yrs experience there. And the last who has been fired twice from SHARK.

I question where they will get a qualified applicant. From across the bridges, where all employees have been groomed under a kill philosophy, where those shelters have had euthanasia ratios in the forty and fifty percentiles in the past. How frightening! Furthermore, where will they find a director who has as vast of a knowledge of animal control as Kathleen Bentley did? A director familiar with animal control may not be a necessity under the current contract, but in a small community like ours, it is very necessary!

I suggest that they will only be able to fill their employee needs from outside of our community. A travesty at best. It is unfortunately already a travesty. For their complete current staff are all outsiders making decisions for our community. It is definitely an issue that the county as well as the cities of Marathon and Key Colony Beach should be concerned with. The islands north and south of Big Pine and community of Layton and other small towns should be concerned as well. We all know well what happens to our communities when outsiders gain control.

I ask that you all get involved and let your leaders now what you think, as only former leaders have stepped in to offer their condolences to Kathleen. And she does deserve some respect as well as condolences, as this is essentially a death in her family. numerous deaths. No one in this community cares for those animals as she does. Certainly no one now associated with this foundation that Kathleen alone founded, just to step down from in order to take the position of Director. Her organization has been hijacked. Her baby has been taken from her, kidnapped! Those who have committed this crime against her walk around with their noses held high, refusing to explain to the public the nature of their decision.

This is a charitable organization, a non profit, which by it’s nature as defined by the federal government is beholden to the community. Their excuses for confidentiality do not hold credit. Has anyone ever heard the Red Cross claim such BS. 



I cleaned under the bed for you. You’re welcome.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 
[“Things that happened while Ed enjoyed his vacation that FTR will never share”] I had 7 more issues to share, but enough is enough. The Republican Party as I knew it is dead. The kooks have taken it over, FTR included. Their position on many issues have no chance of winning. I was the dumb one to attempt to have a dialog with FTR. My fault. From this day forward, no more. Time to find pleasant things to share on the top part (“above the fold”) of the CT.

[Old Age] Remembering the words to every song from the 80s but forgetting why you walked into the next room.

The  phrase Big Box Store reminds me of Big Boss Man by Jimmy Reed.



(You have to be a certain age to get this.) 

Your Local Authorized DirectTV Representative. Sales, Installation, SERVICE!

Tired of your cable and U-Verse bills going up? Call SammySam the DirectTV man, don’t call the DirecTV 800 number.  I am your local authorized DirecTV provider. Lock in your price for 2 years. I’ll come to you for sales, service and installations.

Free NFL Sunday Ticket & MLB. Free HBO, ShowTime, Starz & Encore. Get the Entertainment package with over 140 channels and locals for only $29.99 a month for 1 year. Call SammySam 305-896-3017

[Toilet Paper] Man, I feel so out of the toilet paper  loop. I have never analyzed it, I just dump, wipe and run.



[Antares Rocket Launches] The Orbital Sciences Corporation Antares rocket is seen as it launches from Pad-0A of the Mid-Atlantic Regional Spaceport (MARS) at the NASA Wallops Flight Facility in Virginia, Sunday, April 21. The test launch marked the first flight of Antares and the first rocket launch from Pad-0A. The Antares rocket delivered the equivalent mass of a spacecraft, a so-called mass simulated payload, into Earth’s orbit.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.  

[Big box stores] It’s always the same; a Walmart comes in and soon all the smaller business close and the area becomes a ghost town.

No wait, it’s not like that at all! That’s the bull shit myth. The reality is that when a Walmart comes in many new business open up all around the new Walmart. Look at any Walmart that was built on the outskirts of any town and the area is booming with all kinds of small, medium and large business. The only ones that close are those that are on their last legs and would have closed anyway. 


[Religious Tolerance] If your religion requires you to kill me to get to heaven, I don’t have to tolerate that.


[“Cleaning ceramic steel”] Use cleanser like Comet or Soft Scrub, something with a little grit.


Mondays don’t suck, your job does!


[Nut Control] I’ll tell you where we need more gun control. We need it on loose cannons like Ted Nugent. Video

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.  

[Box Store] There will be lots of jobs to be had at a new box store on Rockland,  most of them part time with no benefits or overtime pay.  This is the future of employment in the Plutocratic States Of America.  I hope you like living in a box.

[“Haggling”] Really? You’re saying I can go to Winn Dixie and haggle over the prices of my groceries?




Arbor Day is April 26th. Plant a tree.

How come you didn’t publish the article I submitted yesterday objecting to Big Box Stores? Could it be that you don’t agree




[Murder] It’s Christians who’ve murdered the most innocents in the last century not the Muslims.

[“Upside Down Shark”] Thanks to whoever posted the comment about the shark photo. I made the exact same comment and was told that not only was it not upside down, but that the dorsal fin was in the right place. Okaaaaaay, thought maybe it was just me or maybe my iPhone.


[The United States of ALEC] Bill Moyers on the Secretive Corporate-Legislative Body Writing Our Laws. These are the guys with the big lobbyists and the big pocketbooks , like Balfour Beatty, who jam their special interest laws into the legislature just like the bills in Tallahassee to exempt Balfour from the property taxes everyone else pays. Senator Thrasher , sponsor of the Senate bill is State Chairman of Florida ALEC. See the Video.

solarmovie23[No Commercials] Cut the cord and fling the dish in the ocean; just log in to SolarMovie. EU free new movie tons of free TV and no commercials. Yea, I am going to feel bad the studio fat cats will only be able to buy one jet this year, but I will live. Link

Volunteers Wanted. Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary is seeking volunteers at the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center in Key West to interact with and educate visitors about the Florida Keys marine environment. Interested applicants should be able to contribute a minimum of four hours per week, have an outgoing personality and enjoy meeting people from all over the world. Duties include greeting visitors and answering questions about Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary and adjacent National Parks. For more information and to apply, contact Center Manager Craig Wanous at or 305-809-4700 x276. Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center is located at 35 East Quay Road, on the Truman waterfront in Key West. Center hours are Tuesday through Saturday, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Could someone tell me how to get to “the cathedral” on Big Pine?



Okay, so I was wrong about you getting a hobby. We need to find you a new boyfriend.

It seems most web sites that take feedback or suggestions only do so by having you sign in to Facebook or some other BS connection and demand your complete ID history. Very few take direct comments and almost none now take direct email input. Some do not take any input at all and do not care what customers think or want.



[The Rube Goldberg of Advertising] HEMA is a Dutch department store. The first store opened on November 4, 1926, in Amsterdam. Now there are 150 stores all over the Netherlands. Take a look at HEMA’s product page – just wait a couple of seconds and watch what happens. Don’t click on any of the items in the picture, just wait. This company has a sense of humor and a great computer programmer. Video

[America] We are all truly blessed to be living in such a great land as the United States of America the land where most citizens, Democrats and Republicans, etc. realize that with honest hard work and a good sprinkling of thoughtful ingenuity one can be successful and lead a reasonably happy life. What dismays most American citizens is when criminal types like Al Capone,  Bernie Madoff,  are able to accumulate vast fortunes by preying on gullible folks by employing nefarious schemes and outright chicanery, this is indeed one of the facts which come with the territory of living in a free country, our law enforcement agencies must be ever vigilant when dealing with such types of individuals as most Americans go about planning their private lives.


After reading everything FTR  posted about the Boston Bomb Brothers, I just wanted to know WTF? The ‘elder brother’ didn’t have a girlfriend he has a wife. Where do you get this ridiculous info? Your source please, because it isn’t even close to factual information.

FTR writes: “We know that AQI and its allies are winning in Afghanistan, they are surging through the mideast and Africa. Iraq will soon be in the complete control of Muslim fundamentalists. Face it folks, Muslim fundamentalism is winning.”
Why, yes, they are, and will always be. As someone who has worn the uniform for this county in that area of the world, and spent quite some time on the diplomatic side for this country in that area as well, this country doesn’t and cannot understand the culture, the history and the determination of peoples in that part of the world. Most historians know, but most historians do not participate in the government or military or policing agencies here in the good old USA. If they did, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. It’s one hell of a lot older than Tehran in 1979!
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 


right only grey


Part 1) A critic yesterday again chose to disparage Senator Marco Rubio. This is the same poster who denied that Rubio is an “American son” and to defame recent Cuban immigrants in general. Yesterday the poster chose to damn all politicians claiming that politicos are taking bribes from “corporate America” so as to allow illegal immigration. Naturally the poster offered no evidence to support his accusation.

Immigration23It is very interesting that the critic chooses to harangue Senator Rubio inasmuch as Rubio is pushing hard to pass legislation that will ameliorate the chaos that is currently in place.  Rubio is one of the authors of that legislation.  The legislation is the product of a group of 4 Democrats and 4 Republicans. The legislation will finally secure our southern border, and will provide a path to citizenship for most of the undocumented aliens that currently flood our nation. Rubio’s legislation will provide that anybody living illegally in the United States and attempting to get a visa would face a long list of qualifications, which includes paying taxes, a fine and an application fee as well as having a job and waiting for at least 10 years. Rubio tells us that achieving citizenship through the new plan would be harder than under the existing plan. It will be cheaper, faster and easier for people to go back home and wait 10 years than it will be to go through the process he outlined.

Rubio is fully committed to reforming our current system, his position is that our current system results in millions of aliens not eventually being able to apply for the full benefits of citizenship, and the current system is wildly expensive in social costs and consequences. He and I are of the view that the current policy has been tried and failed, and it has had disastrous social consequences.

Politifact reports: “Rubio’s bill would allow people to seek “Registered Provisional Immigrant Status,” by demonstrating residence in the United States prior to Dec. 31, 2011, having no felony convictions and not more than two misdemeanors and paying a $500 penalty plus back taxes. Another $500 would be required after six years. After 10 years under Registered Provisional Immigrant Status, a person could pay $1,000 and seek a green card using a new merit-based system. People brought here illegally as minors, known as “Dreamers,” and workers in an agricultural program would get green cards in five years, versus the 10 for everyone else who qualifies.”

Rubio says of his legislation: “This is not amnesty. Amnesty is the forgiveness of something.”… “We’re going to create an alternative that says, ‘OK, you want to stay here, you’ll have to wait more than 10 years, you’ll have to pay this fine, you’ll have to pay your registration fee, you’ll have to be gainfully employed, you won’t qualify for any federal benefits, and then after all of that you don’t get to apply for anything until the enforcement mechanisms are in place.’”

Deer Friends, that sure sounds like a fair and balanced way out of the immigration forest.


Part 2) Certainly you have heard that airline flights are being slowed and delayed. The Democrats blame it on the sequester. That’s a pretty stupid ploy on their part because the sequester was an invention of Mr. Obama. Then there is the fact that the FAA has received about an additional $650 million in this years budget over the 2009 funding.  That while the total number of flights has dramatically declined because of the recession. Now the FAA is spending more to do less. The cuts in staffing by Team Obama are nothing more than a naked political stunt. Team Obama is purposefully making the traveling public suffer.