2013 August

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


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an mr turd[Toilet News] Are “courtesy flushes” useful — or healthy? “It may shock you, but get this: There has never been a widespread study conducted on the sanitation or the necessity of the courtesy flush. Before we nod knowingly about how it’s just like Big Toilet to cover up the facts, you should know that we do have some ancillary information that might just give us a glimpse into the science of the courtesy flush.”

In 2012, for instance, a study found that flushing the toilet with the lid up can cause a bathroom space to be sprayed with Clostridium difficile bacteria (also known as nasty little germs that cause serious diarrhea and inflammation of the colon). Ergo, one can assume that unless you are standing up, closing the lid, flushing and sitting back down for more — well, you might be coating your hindquarters with a fine mist of bacteria. Frankly, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unsanitary. If you’re staying clean and hygienic (and your immune system is healthy), you’re probably not going to suffer from C. difficile. 


[Conspiracy] I overheard a conspiracist yesterday saying the reason the plugged canals on Big Pine Key are not unplugged is because the politicians are waiting for the prices of homes there to go down so they can buy them cheap. What the conspirator hadn’t thought through was how the politicians who bought the cheap homes are going to get the canals unplugged. The canals have been plugged since before the politicians could vote and won’t be unplugged in their lifetimes. Another factor overlooked is that home prices are going up dismissing any thought of cheap plugged canal homes..

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jail heart



They met on the Internet. He said he lived in a gated community in the Keys.

America can’t collapse. We’re as powerful as ancient Rome.  ~Homer Simpson


[Global Warming] There is a catastrophe that is playing out in slow motion, measured out over the course of years, decades, and centuries. And it’s happening now. The culprit is not so much nature as ourselves. Our catastrophe has to do with dependence on fossil fuels, which has sparked a chain of events that has warmed the atmosphere and oceans and melted glaciers and continental ice sheets, and consequently raised sea levels.

Coincidentally on this day in 1859, the  first successful oil well in the United States was drilled by Edwin L. Drake near Titusville, Pa. starting the whole mess.



[Vanilla Ice Cream] Chef Conch, since you like recipes with fresh ingredients, I have the grand slam, par excellence recipe for your collection.  You’ve heard of the hundred year flood?  This is the hundred year ice cream!  Best ever of all.  It’s a family recipe handed down for at least that long and I have yet to taste anything better. Something this good should be shared with all.  Enjoy.

Vanilla Ice Cream for 1 gallon hand freezer. Hand cranking was all that was available at the time.

4 eggs/2 c sugar/ 1 quart half & half/1/2 pint whipping cream/ 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla, not artificial (very important)/1/2 teaspoon salt/Enough milk to fill freezer to ‘fill’ line.

Beat eggs together with sugar, gradually add cream, half & half, vanilla, salt.  Add milk last.

[Paradise Lost  ~Milton] Some heavy summer reading.

“Of Man’s first disobedience, and the fruit Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste Brought death into the world, and all our woe, with loss of Eden, till one greater Man Restore us, and regain the blissful seat, sing, Heavenly Muse, that, on the secret top Of Oreb, or of sinai, didst inspire that shepherd who first taught the chosen seed.” Link


[Sea Pain] Speaking of lionfish stings and urchin stabs has anyone been stung by sea lice this year. I hadn’t heard of any last year either. They usually appear around the end of August when the water is as warm as it gets.

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[Fraking] Today there was a minor earthquake in S. Texas caused by fracking. 
isaksen-flood 4.23.13
[Obamacare Primer] Ambulatory Patient Services. This is the most common form of health care, often called outpatient care. You walk into a doctor’s office, get treated and then walk out. Nearly all health insurance plans already provide this coverage. Details about the plans’ networks and access to doctors will vary, but the law says the networks’ size must be “sufficient.” 

Mitchell Denker, 66, formerly of Key West and Big Pine Key passed away on Saturday, Aug. 24, in Leland, N.C. He was the lawyer for the famous Big Pine 29 drug bust and latter lost his right to practice law due to other adventures he was involved in.

Please share memories and condolences to the family at Sign in to the Guest Book

Openly gay journalist James Kirchick goes on tirade against Russia’s anti-gay law on RT.

RT television is owned and controlled by the Russian government? Formerly it was called Russia Today. Video

fork27Potatoes baked in a microwave taste microwavy.  Not good.  Here’s how I do the Captain Conch potato bake.  Peel a potato and slice it down the middle then slice it into chips.  Put shrimp forks in slices to separate them so the melted butter, olive oil and sea salt can drizzle into the slices.  Remove forks.  Cook at 425 for 40 minutes.  Remove from oven, drain the sauce and turn over the potato, add a dollop of butter on top, generous sea salt and cook for another 25 minutes.  Remove and turn it over again, add salt and cook another 5 minutes.  I make several at a time for future dinners.  I just had one for breakfast and reheated it in the microwave which ruined it.  Should have slowly reheated the masterpiece in the regular oven.  The idea of adding garlic is good – so would adding some cheese and scallions.  

(Chef Bubba Conch: Try our oven fries at Menu > Recipes > Oven Fries)

[Cell Phone Service] I don’t know what region you’re looking for service in (probably the Keys, duh), but my personal experience from Plattsburgh area NY to Key West down the I-95 route or the scenic one through western Virginia, Tennessee, NC or Atlanta – the only cell provider who I have no problem with service from all the way was Verizon.. All the rest are very hit or miss, some doing severe price gouging when roaming most of the time on their nationwide lines. One to steer clear of is  AARP’s one Consumer Cellular. They plain don’t have service anywhere. You can’t even get price gouged because you can’t connect in the first place. Sprint is 2nd best to Verizon for service areas, but Sprint charges you a fortune in roaming fees. Verizon isn’t cheap at all, very expensive as a matter of fact, but they do have the best network along the east coast. Don’t know how they work in the rest of the country. Our nation’s cell phone providers are all full of crap and ridiculously expensive and intentionally confusing.



More than 10 years after her death, Linda Lovelace probably remains America’s best known porn star (apologies to Jenna Jameson and Traci Lords). It’s an unlikely distinction given that Lovelace — by her own estimation — only spent a total of two and a half weeks working in the adult film industry. But those two and a half weeks included shooting “Deep Throat,” the X-rated film that turned into a pop culture phenomenon after its release in 1972. It became the first adult film to cross over to mainstream audiences, earning an astounding $600 million.

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[Syria Retaliation] I can just see one of our old Tomahawk Cruise missiles going haywire and blowing away some Syrian kids’ hospital. “Pictures at 7:00”.

[Cell Phone Service] At&T has the greatest complete coverage in the lower Keys. Also if you travel overseas you can switch on that service when needed. 

an_waving happy

[Maine Lobster] In 2005, Maine lobster was selling for almost six dollars a pound wholesale. By 2009, it cost just half that, and, in the past couple of summers, huge lobster harvests, believed by some to be a result of global warming,(good grief) have glutted the market, sending prices tumbling further. This month, lobster off the boat is selling for as low as $2.20 a pound. 

[Cell Phone Service] Pay as I go, 10 cents a minute and I buy 400 minutes every 2 and half to three months or so on average. The phone is of decent quality, battery lasts three days without a charge and fits in a pocket. Network is AT&T but its not from them. Phone cost $30 and it’s a local number, so if it’s lost or broken I can get a new one and decide to carry the old number or get a new one and only give the number to those I want to talk to. It’s a great solution for those who don’t talk much and rather use a real computer for their “smart” activity and not have a dead battery or $150 a month phone bills. (Ed: The poster is probably using Consumer Cingular. Link)



With flu season fast approaching it seems my Irish wife has found some economical flu shots!

[“Do Lionfish stings have the same effect on all people”]  Like old people’s underwear, it depends.  It depends on the individual’s ability to endure and tolerate pain and discomfort.  It also depends on the level or amount of envenomation (the amount of venom injected into the tissues.)  No matter what, you’re going to be a very unhappy person for at least a couple of days, the first being the worst.  My friend, who got hit on the hand, is one steely tough mother f***er and said he never felt pain that intense.  The bottom line is, you’re going to hurt somewhere on your body big time.  Be careful!


[Cell Phone Service] I have Sprint and it sucks in parts of the Keys, but it’s the cheapest of all of them if you buy the service from Ting. I pay about sixteen dollars a month for texting, Internet, phone and hotspot, but I don’t use it too much. Link



[Miley Cyrus] Satire site The Onion Newsroom, 2008 reported: “Sources Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013.” After the other night’s VMA performance, this old video is making the rounds. Video

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My brand new, expensive vacuum cleaner really sucks.




Soylant green processed? 

Sometimes, I feel more confused than a mood ring on a paranoid, bi-polar, schizophrenic, chameleon in a bag of Skittles.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

[Cell Phone Service] If your Sprint service is bad where you are, they will give you an airave which is like having a tower in your house. It has 3 power settings, apt, house and mansion. You must have a high speed Internet connection for this to work. I have one and its great. There is a 4 dollar a month tax on it if you get it from them or you can buy your own. They are available for sprint and Verizon and maybe more. It gives me good phone and 3G within 80 feet from the unit. You talk right through the Internet. The technology is called VOIP — voice over internet protocol a la MagicJack.




Carol Barth of Big Pine Key was welcomed into Heaven on August 14, 2013 after nearly 2 years of battling cancer. A memorial service will be held at 2 PM, Saturday, August 31st at the Vineyard Church, 100 County Road, Big Pine Key.

[Bridge] If everyone in Marathon pledges just $3500 apiece they can come up with the $30 million cost of rebuilding the old Seven Mile Bridge from the ground up and do whatever they want with it without impacting the rest of the Monroe County taxpayers who couldn’t care less.


[Sewers] I would like to know why, after the Big Coppitt and Shark Key sewer installations, FKAA has decided that much of the rest of the lower Keys need grinder pumps? There must be a reason.

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Redneck mansion 

[Cell Phone Service] I have used Sprint for years. I have never been to a place where I could not get reception, except when dropped it in the toilet.

tarps bungee cords

Huge military hovercraft lands on Russian beach stunning sunbathers. Video



[Back to School Sale] Bulletproof whiteboards are university’s answer to school shootings. Hardwire has sold 200 bulletproof whiteboards (which also come in blue and pink) to the University of Maryland Eastern Shore as a last-ditch defense against school shootings.

[Cell Phone Service] I have Virgin Mobile and can go online and purchase minutes or just drop into Radio Shack and they will go online for you and purchase them. If you put $100 on your account you do not have to do anything else for a year — that is a little less than $8.50 per month. I get the phones at Walmart and they are usually $5.95 to $8.95 for a little flip phone. No contract, no minimum. If you would prefer you can put $30 on each quarter and that would be $120 per year. The little phone works way out beyond the reef and so far everywhere around the Keys. It does not pick up very well in the house and I have to go outside to really hear well, but that is the only drawback. So far it is the best for me, but I use the phone only for emergencies and not chatting about nothing for hours. The other good thing is that it also works in Virginia for the 5 months that I am up here!

If you just use your phone for important stuff this is the way to go. Can’t get on the Internet, but I have a laptop for that so why do I need more


[Sewers] Yes, you are correct, Shark Key gets a discount on sewers. Big Pine Key will not because, I’m told that, it is in retaliation to constant complaints.


[Cellphone Service]  My husband & I have Verizon Wireless, and it is as good as it gets.  There are a few dead spots between Sugarloaf & Cudjoe, but overall it performs nicely.  We use their hotspot feature for Internet access where there is no other wireless.  Our plans are reasonably priced, and Verizon’s customer services is outstanding.

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[“Gourmet Palate”] Yesterday’s post was right on. Recently I went out to eat with friends who were raving about the low quality, crappy food we were served because there was so much of it and it was mostly fried.

A while back a poster claimed he could tell fresh from frozen fish and was criticized for it by someone with an undeveloped palate. I can tell the difference with my eyes closed. It doesn’t take a refined palate either, just a lot of experience eating fresh fish (I guess that’s the same thing). 

Americans were raised on junk food, some of us escaped the trap and discovered real food.

[Sewers]  The Shark Key sewer deal was not fraud. It was a prime example of bubbaism. You know, membership has its privileges.


[Cell Phone Service] AT&T is the only provider with full coverage in the Keys. All the rest are spotty.



[Captain Doom and Gloom]“Same-Sex Mil-Benefits to Start Sept. 3” What a country!  Read and weep!  The YMCA and Boy Scouts have nothing over the US Military. What’s next, multi-colored rainbow uniforms? Dildos replacing bayonets? Blank ammo? High heel combat boots? Kilts?  We are falling down, people! We are not going to make it!  No wonder the USA is the laughing stock. Link

[Phony fish]  There is no such thing as phony duck. Try some at Takara.

[“Media coverage of Australian baseballer”] Not much media coverage of this World War 11 vet either. Link

religion politics zone
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from the right

Lines-in-the-sandObama is firmly impaled on both horns of a dilemma that was created by Obama and Hillary Clinton.  Now he has no good choice as to whether or not to intervene in Syria. We lose with either choice. Either way will increase the influence of Islam.  As we watch the drama in Syria and the Arab world unfold we must remember that the turmoil we now witness and worry about have been exacerbated by Obama and Hillary Clinton’s feckless foreign policy, coupled with his strange reluctance to even attempt to halt the spread of the power of the Muslim Brotherhood.

For example it was on August 20th 2012 when Obama declared his “red line” on any further use of chemical weapons by Syria’s Assad. He solemnly intoned that there would be grave consequences if Assad again used chem warfare. A year later, to the day, Syria’s dictator Assad again used chemical warfare to murder nearly 2000 dissidents. It could not be any clearer that Assad is peeing on Obama’s custom made shoes hand crafted by shoemaker to the uber wealthy, Perry Ercolino. One of the most expensive shoe makers in the world.

Perhaps Obama’s biggest error was not to assist the democrat/secular dissidents who demanded a regime change in Iran early on in his career. It convinced the Muslim Fundamentalists that Obama lacked the resolve or even the inclination to seriously combat the Islamic lust for a world ruled by Islamic hegemony.

It’s true, and to his credit, that he has launched assassinations against terrorist leadership, but that is a tactic, not a strategy. Strategy, not tactics win wars. During the Obama presidency the scope of the influence, reach, and power of the politics of fundamentalist Islam has grown exponentially. Each and every day Iran gets closer to being a nuclear power. We wait, submissively. Libya is firmly in the hands of the Muslim Brotherhood. We helped put them there. We dither.  For years Egypt had been ruled by a dictator, Murbarack. He was a solid ally of America but he opposed Islamic fundamentalism and favored a diplomatic relationship with Israel, which created stability in the Middle East. His government controlled the Suez Canal and allowed it to remain open to U.S. commerce.

Egypt is now afire. Murbarak was deposed by the Muslim Brotherhood which was subsequently rousted in a military coup. The country is currently ruled by a military dictator who is friendly to the USA, but it is nearly certain to again soon fall to the rule of the Muslim Brotherhood. We vacillate.

behead27Deer Friends, please think about the fact that we have heard of no foreign policy strategy by this President to curtail the ascendancy of worldwide fundamentalist Islamism. Please reflect on the fact that we have heard Team Obama denounce terrorism, but not a word that denounces the Sharia politics of fundamentalist Islamism. Please remember that the terrorists, who Obama pursues, are simply and nothing more than the foot soldiers of fundamentalist Islam.

This isn’t politics, but it’s fascinating. Link