2016 May

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

correction-shark-selling[Accused of Buying Fish Without License] I have attached an article written by Tim O’Hara of The Key West Citizen.  I am also including some email correspondences with him, regarding the misinformation in his article.  He graciously said he would print a retraction.  This is also included.  I hope you can read it; it is very small. And it certainly was not on the front page with pictures! I have also included all of the licenses needed to collect and sell sharks, and the statute that we were using as a rule.  NOAA is prosecuting us as you know from these articles.  Although I can’t go into specifics I can tell you we were in no way trying to skirt any laws intentionally.  Many of you who know us know we are passionate about our work and protecting the environment.  Please do not believe all that you may read in the media regarding this case.  Phil and I are always happy to answer any questions you may have.

We would also appreciate any character letters or opinions you may have on this issue, good or bad.  All will be submitted to the Judge when we appear in Key West on May 9th, 2016.  If you able to attend we would love and appreciate your support. Many thanks in advance for your kind support.  ~Phil and Leah Gould

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[Grinder Pumps] Maybe we could get Monroe county to acquire these bomb shelter makeshift barrel toilets from Montana. They could be given to grinder pump households for the inevitable failures during the extended power outages in storm season. Link
cruise ship moves right[“Affordable housing”] I agree with your assessment of ‘city thinking’ and the cruise ship solution. Dock it at a deep water pier, hook it up to city, or county, water, electricity, sewerage; rent out the rooms, perhaps have city, or housing authority staff, in the kitchen cooking meals, maintaining the swimming pool and other obvious familiar amenities. A big hurricane might cause a dither though? Meanwhile, they need to be partnering with the Housing Authority to build cheap rental housing using the city’s ROGO building rights, which are called something else now. However, the local developers and realtors and their lawyers and the chambers of commerce will go into anaphylactic shock. Which, ironically, or poetically, could lead to an affordable housing glut around these parts.
[Illegal Fish] Thanks for that info about fishboy & fish girl, Phil & Leah Wilde-Gould. It sure is about time since I called several entities about their illegal fish gathering processes. They were also involved with many other unethical issues. Code enforcement would not write them up for their multiple and blatant wrong doings as they were protected by the code & building inspectors. Maybe their old skanky friends can pull them out of this doodoo and they can all swirl further down the toilet with their pals where they belong.

They have been doing this kind of monkey business for years and it is sad they just now got busted. Think how many sharks were taken and died for these greedy, evil people. The ‘lady of the house’ would share with us how so many of the fishies she ripped from the sea would die in transport. They never showed any respect or compassion for any living creature, whether on land or sea. They probably took turtles and did shark fining too, like the little Cuban man who bragged about it to me one night at the Key West Moose Lodge. Many reports were made and it is a big ocean and the good guys are celebrating that a little bit of justice has been served and we get to witness this. They should never be allowed to fish again after a prison sentence of the maximum allowance. Fishies belong in the ocean and not in some icky tank held prisoner. Hope they are enjoying their circle of karma. We most certainly are.



[Big Fish Stories Getting Littler] I think the first photo is Capt Tony, the second and third photos are Capt Tommy Lones. Link

[“Brouhaha in North Carolina over He-she room restrooms”] It’s called misdirection. Magicians and politicians share a common trick based on the idea that if they can focus people’s attention on one thing, they can do something else and get away with it. For magicians, it’s all in good fun. No harm; no foul. With politicians, on the other hand …
It amazes me that people will focus on Oxitec’s claim of eliminating 90% of the target mosquito species in the test area of Brazil, but not notice that the target disease (Dengue) increased 190% at the same time in the same area. At the same time, virtually unknown Zika became epidemic in the exact same area. So let’s try it in the Keys, duh?
If elimination of the disease is the goal, then one would expect disease reduction to be the criteria upon which success is judged. I was told tonight at a local bar by a Cudjoe resident that mosquitoes are heavy in Cudjoe Gardens, so this person called Mosquito Control and was told that they can’t afford to spray because the spray budget for Cudjoe has been diverted to the Oxitec experiment in Key Haven! Looks like the deal is done and screw the protests. I smell graft. Sniff, sniff …
arrest-deer-on-beachmugly-other[FTR] An old friend of mine with the Bay County Sheriffs, knew that this olde fart lived on Big Pine Key, he emailed me this picture.  He told me that the subject in custody was trying to do a doe on Pensacola Beach.  The Deputy said that he kept saying that he was a pal of FTR, and kept saying that he was “Deer Ed” so he shouldn’t be arrested.  My buddy sent a picture of the arrest and the booking photo.
[Motorcyclethink] Loud pipes save lives!


Is this a monarch butterfly before the transformation? I caught it eating about fifty milkweed plants as it was climbing down one of the naked stalks.

[Bad Water] Last week, Michigan Attorney General, Bill Schuette filed criminal indictments against a Flint city official and two state officials in the Department of Environmental Quality. Each of the state employees is charged with three felonies and two misdemeanors, including violations of the Safe Drinking Water Act, altering test results, tampering with evidence and misconduct in office. It is unlikely that these three mid-level managers engineered this public health disaster on their own. So Schuette has promised ‘These charges are only the beginning and there will be more to come. That I can guarantee you.

Criminal charges for environmental malfeasance by public employees is a rare event. In this instance it flows from the volcanic public demand for accountability for poisoning Flint’s drinking water. The prospect of governmental environmental managers facing criminal liability – and prison time – should cause public employees at all levels to sit up and take notice. Unfortunately, Florida’s Attorney General Pam Bondi is part of the problem, claiming no jurisdiction over FKAA when alerted to illegalities and malfeasance. That is pure cop-out BS. FKAA answers to the Governor and she is within “The Office of the Governor”. Maybe when the environmental disasters lurking in the Cudjoe Regional make national news is when Ms. Bondi finally puts down the doughnut and prosecutes the perps responsible

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[“Selling illegal fish accusation”] Phil and Leah Gould are fast becoming the victims of an overly aggressive prosecutor and a reporter who indulges in unproven sensationalism. An indictment is in no way is a guilty verdict. Phil and Leah have worked and sacrificed for years to build their business. Neither of them would deliberately do anything to jeopardize their investment. They are honest people and good citizens who care deeply about preserving the delicate balance of the Keys environment. Don’t believe everything you read. Let them have their day in court instead of letting the press be their judge and jury
talking mouth

[Fast Camera] Japanese scientists claim to have created a camera with a shutter so fast, they can now photograph woman with her mouth shut!

Confederate memorial at Kentucky University to be removed. We don’t consider ourselves in Louisville to be part of the South. Video


Mister and Missus Cormorant were seen building a nest. I heard she’s expecting, now here’s proof.

Clean and sober just means I’m showered and going to the liquor store.
Trailer Park Boys: Countdown to Liquor Day
drinking-in-kwThe Keys are a little different — to say the least. Folks work all year to spend a week or so with us. Us working folks are a 24 hr work force. Coconuts opens at 7am, why? Well fishing trips start early, the midnight to 8 am shift starts their Happy Hour at 8:01 am. We close at 4 am, why? All the service folks that cook your dinner, bus your tables, clean up after you’re all done start to unwind at midnight. So consider this when you see folks having a cool one at 7 am –it’s their Happy Hour. Yes, the Keys, the Lower Keys more so than most are.

“Incredibly, absolutely, extremely, supremely, unbelievably different” and Blessed for just that reason.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store

Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
[“Cruise ship, affordable housing, no need for engines”] How are all these rooms and restaurants powered? And how long will the hull last without being regularly dry docked and refurbished.


When going fishing, take an action figure with you. It will make your catch look amazing!

To the individual looking for Norma, formerly at Nadine’s, she is now at A Caribbean Dream on Big Pine Key, Oceanside, just before the street light.



[Made For Each Other] Look at it, you’ll get it.

I don’t understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
ceiling-hooksThe idea is to use the treadmill to work your legs, hips and arms and to stretch the back. The Bungee cords give a negative pressure on the upper torso and lift the back This will give a very slight stretching action to the spine and especially the lower back. It acts like the stretch bed, but with more blood circulation and leg work
[Pipe Down!] I know most Harley riders will ignore this because they like the attention that loud pipes get, but it is time to get over that and be courteous to the people around you. Harley-Davidson Motor Company President and CEO Jim McCaslin tackles the issue of motorcycle noise and the increasing backlash motorcycling is experiencing as the result of loud pipes. Citing a four-fold increase in negative media coverage during the last decade, bans on motorcycles in some communities, attempts to curtail major motorcycle events, anti-tamper legislation, and other limitations of freedom for motorcyclists as the result of complaints about loud pipes, McCaslin says, “We all, every Hog lovin’ one of us, must do everything we can to protect our sport and keep it as strong as it is today.”

In other words, it’s time to pipe down. Link



The final speaker of the KW Orchid Society will be Sunday, May 8 at 1 pm, W. Martello Gardens, KW.  Tom Kuligowski, an expert on Angraecum orchid culture gives his first talk in KW on these wonderful, star shaped orchids that make a stunning display with their oft time long trailing tendril and snowy white color. Show and tell plants, raffles and orchids for sale are offered. As always, the public is welcome to all Orchid Society meetings. Bring in your orchid for all to see! For more info. Link or phone Marie 305.509.7744 .  Treat Mom with a spectacular orchid

Does the new Key West commissioner (Margaret) ever make a decision?  I hear the ‘research’ and listening, and lord knows there’s criticism, but nothing decided by her.   Seems like the commissioners should represent their districts with decisions, and not blanket ‘party of no’ positions.
boat-rampBPK Fishing Lodge & your boat ramp problem. Question, what if they said, “Heck yah, use the boat ramp. The fee is 25 bucks.” Would you have paid or felt you were being ripped off? It’s not your boat ramp. Big Pine Fish camp has been here a very, very long time. They have built a great business. They also have helped & supported our Islands’ needs whenever asked. We have free public boat ramps paid for and maintained by our tax dollars. I’m sorry that they were busy weeding.
[“$15.00 minimum wage”] The free market should set the wages. Cost & demand. I pay what I can afford to pay. If your unhappy with what I pay, give your 2 weeks’ notice, hopefully after you find a new job paying more. That’s the way it works.
[“Affordable housing”] OK, so enough bitching about how there’s no housing for middle class in BPK/Marathon.  Here’s a suggestion:  If a developer could purchase the old Marathon Manor or some of the small old hotels i.e. SeaDell or Siesta or Anchor Inn and make them housing for locals that would help.   They could make it like Seaward next to Kirk of the Keys, just cleaner.

Somebody with some clout ought to be reading


[Crooks] What a phone scammer wants is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of your card. Don’t give it to them. They already have your credit card number and expiration date. Under no circumstance give anyone your PIN number. Instead, tell them you’ll call VISA or Master Card directly for verification of their conversation.

[Peter Principle] I am convinced that if all the money in America was taken away from the folks that have it, was split evenly between every man, woman & child, in a few years the folks that had it to start with would have it again. Why? the Peter Principle. The Peter principle is an observation that in an organizational hierarchy, every employee will rise or get promoted to his or her level of incompetence. The Peter Principle is based on the notion that employees will get promoted as long as they are competent, but at some point will fail to get promoted beyond a certain job because it has become too challenging for them. Employees rise to their level of incompetence and stay there. Over time, every position in the hierarchy will be filled by someone who is not competent enough to carry out his or her new duties. So goes life
slaves-bark-Wildfire-KW-1860[“Cruise Ship Key West Affordable Housing”] Ha, a cruise ship for low renters is the biggest joke. The city cannot even fix its sewers let alone maintain a huge steel ship. I can see the clothes lines now and the screaming playgrounds on board. The only way to fix the labor problem in the Keys is to lower the rents and pay the workers more money, but that will kill greedy sales and profits. Bring back slavery and chain them in the basement!
Everyone’s invited to join in the fun at the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce Business WalkAbout & Auctions this Saturday, May 7 from 9am – 2pm at Boondocks Grille & Draft House on Ramrod Key.  Various businesses will be promoting their products and services while guests bid for bargains during the auctions.   Enjoy Boondocks’ special breakfast sandwiches and start the day off right with a Bloody Mary (or two!).

The Silent Auction runs from 9 – 2 and features gift certificates from many restaurants from Marathon through Key West; boat rentals; boat trips; jewelry; accessories; artwork; entertainment – over 200 valuable items.  The 11 am live auction, hosted by local celebrity Steve Estes, will feature a very special Solo Skiff donated by Lower Keys Tackle; also hotel & resort stays, upscale restaurant gift certificates and fishing/boating necessities.

Enjoy your favorite foods from Boondocks’ exclusive menu all day long, then sample some wines from “Down Under” at 12 noon and some Aussie beers at 1pm.  Plan on spending the day with the Lower Keys Chamber . . . you may even want to get in a round or two of miniature golf!  FREE admission, plenty of parking and guaranteed Chamber of Commerce weather.  Don’t miss it!

jet ski bounce[Idiots and Jerks] While fishing my favorite secret snapper spot we were assaulted by two idiot a**holes on jet skis.  They roared in and circled the boat about 50 feet off for a couple of turns and then buzzed us closer.  At one point one of the idiots came within 10 feet of my port side and then turned sharply spraying the boat with water. Any mistake in his timing would have resulted in a collision with my boat and likely serious injuries. Waving them off did no good.  It appeared that they were going to make another near pass so I retrieved my on-board shotgun and pointed at them as they approached.  That did the trick.  They left the area in a hurry.  I would not normally resort to that extreme but I feared for the safety of my boat, my two passengers and the young idiots on the jet skis.  I thought about calling the water cops or the Coast Guard but the jerks were long gone and would likely never be located.  We resumed fishing, each pulling in two nice snappers for the day, (we don’t keep more than we can eat without freezing), and headed back to the dock for a couple of cold brewskis. Idiots on jet skis. Damn.
How Prince revolutionized the Internet according to the webmaster who helped him do it. Link
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[“Say what you will about Bruce and Ralph, I’ll tell you I had a great dinner at his restaurant(?)”]  Interpretation: Say what you will about Bruce Schmidt and Ralph Lucignano, I’ll tell you that I had a great dinner at Plaza Grill in Marathon.

[Johnson’s Baby Powder] More than 1,000 women are suing the company for covering up a cancer risk. Link

[Affordable Housing A Joke] The most critical need is housing for lower wage earners and families in the city who struggle to find a place to live within their budget. Peary Court offers two-bedroom units at approximately $2,500 per month or $30,000 per year plus utilities etc. The City alone employs over 120 people earning $35,000 per year or less. Where are these and future employees and their families going to live? This proposal offers no additional affordable residential units. How does this increase the availability of affordable housing for working people struggling to keep a roof over their head? Federal guidelines suggest that families should not spend more than 30 percent of their income on housing. Otherwise, they are considered “cost-burdened” for housing. Peary Court at $30,000 per year offers housing for families earning $100,000 per year or more. Should people in this income bracket be the priority for affordable housing in the city.
[Wildlife Refuges Photography Club] Looking for a new adventure?  We invite you to attend the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Photography Club meeting.  We welcome everyone, from beginners wanting to learn, to experienced photographers who want to share their expertise.   Together we’ll explore the natural areas of the Florida Keys looking for great photography opportunities and stories to share.  This month’s guest speaker is Dan Clark, our new refuge manager.  Dan was stationed at Midway Atoll in the middle of the Pacific Ocean prior to joining us here in the Keys.  Dan will share incredible stories and photographs of his experience.  The meeting is scheduled for Wednesday, May 11th, 2014, 6:30-8:00 P.M. at the National Key Deer Refuge Visitor Center in the Winn-Dixie plaza on Big Pine Key.  For more information, contact Kristie @ 305-304-9625.  Facebook: Florida Keys Wildlife Refuges Photography Club.
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Is it “under ‘way’” or under ‘weigh’ when a boat is moving?

Attention Monroe County illegal renting official. Google houses for rent, Monroe County.
[Sea Sickness] The CDC is investigating an outbreak of a stomach bug aboard the Disney Wonder cruise ship last week. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that 92 passengers and 5 crew members reported falling ill.


Is Marathon’s Bicycle Joanie Nelson still around?

[“Bill Cosby’s 55 accusers”] Why shouldn’t the accusers tell all. You are being accused of a crime so all details should be viewed by the judge and jury. I bet those bimbos have reps that will make a Miami Hooker look like an angel!



[The Bacon Grease Lady] She’s back! And a little slimmer, but not much.

May’s free Computer Power User’s magazine is online now. Link
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[Comfort Food] Best meals to eat when you feel your worst. Link

[Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: Decadence n, The wasting of natural resources to satisfy demented egos.
DEF: Stocks n. A system to manipulate a fools funds.
DEF: Texting n, A shameful communication system negating eye contact.
DEF: Banks n, Places you give your money to as a free loan.
DEF: Rain n, A free water supply you have to pay a politician to use.
DEF: License n, A document you would not have to pay for if you were alone on this planet.
DEF: Sports n, What a farmer, welder, ditch digger, doesn’t do.
DEF: Evangelist n, A sociopath that needs to be taken fishing
DEF: Fishing n, A translation from Italian “TakeEmFishin'”.
DEF: Laughter n, A chemical reaction to demented sound waves or visual verse.
Cheering Cubans greet first cruise ship from US in decades. Video
electric car plugged in


Do electric cars need tune ups?

[“The science is far from certain”] Say that about climate change and you’re a “denier” or worse. Say it about foods containing GMOs being safe, and you’re the savior of mankind.
Unique Volunteer Opportunity – Give a Smidgen for the White-Crowned Pigeon

white-crowned-pigeon33Help monitor nesting activity of White-crowned Pigeons at the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuge Complex this summer! These surveys are conducted every second year to monitor the nesting activity of these special birds on select islands within Great White Heron and Key West NWRs. Volunteer/s will coordinate with the refuge biologist to count birds flying off of their nesting islands by motor boat and/or kayak during morning hours (7am-11am). Surveys will be conducted from mid-May through August, as weather permits. Preference will be given to those interested in participating for the entire summer.

Three meeting locations will be used:
Old Wooden Bridge, Big Pine Key
Blimp Road Boat Ramp, Cudjoe Key
Key West Public Ramp, Key West

Experience required:
-Use of an ocean kayak
-Use of binoculars (provided if needed)
-Positive attitude and willingness to learn simple survey protocols

Please contact Biologist Kate Watts at if you are interested in participating. Also, indicate if you would prefer to volunteer for field days leaving from Big Pine Key, Cudjoe Key, and/or Key West

Did you know that under the ancient Code of Hammurabi, if conspirators met in a tavern and were not captured and delivered to the court, then the tavern-keeper would be put to death. Great idea for the Keys.
heres one for the weekend pina coladaJust say no to the slushy machine! A pina coloda has a double shot of rum, 4 ounces of Coco Lopez and 4 ounces of Dole pineapple juice, blended with a little ice, garnished with a fresh piece of pineapple. Take note that Cozumel has 20,000 cruise ship visitors a day and the resorts are fraudulent where they enter your room while you are sleeping and serve tourists horse meat, pina colodas, adult beverages with no booze what-so-ever. All-inclusive is for people who are happy to eat and drink the lower end of food and beverages. Some people feel happy after eating at Appleby’s and those are the types of folk who chose to have no control over their vacation and go to crappy all-inclusives
This is one of the best explanations of the Muslim terrorist situation I have ever read. His references to past history are accurate and clear. Not long, easy to understand, and well worth the read.

The author of this email is Dr Emanuel Tanya, a well-known and well-respected psychiatrist. A man, whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II, owned a number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism.

‘Very few people were true Nazis,’ he said, ‘but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come.’ My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories. We are told again and again by ‘experts’ and ‘talking heads’ that Islam is a religion of peace and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace.
‘Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the spectre of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam.
The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide.
‘It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor-kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers.
The hard quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the ‘silent majority,’ is cowed and extraneous. Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China ‘s huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.

The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet.
And who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery? Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were ‘peace loving?
History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt. Yet for all our powers of reason, we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points: peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our Enemy if they don’t speak up. Like my friend from Germany, they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them and the end of their world will have begun. Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late.

Now Islamic prayers have been introduced in Toronto and other public schools in Ontario, and, yes, in Ottawa, too, while the Lord’s Prayer was removed (due to being so offensive? The Islamic way may be peaceful for the time being in our country until the fanatics move in. In Australia, and indeed in many countries around the world, many of the most commonly consumed food items have the halal emblem on them. Just look at the back of some of the most popular chocolate bars, and at other food items in your local supermarket. Food on aircraft have the halal emblem just to appease the privileged minority who are now rapidly expanding within the nation’s shores. In the U.K, the Muslim communities refuse to integrate and there are now dozens of “no-go” zones within major cities across the country that the police force dare not intrude upon. Sharia law prevails there, because the Muslim community in those areas refuse to acknowledge British law.

windshield wipers 380hWhy do I keep spraying windshield cleaner on my windshield when driving into the morning sun? The dirt is hard enough to see through, but when I wet the windshield it’s nearly impossible to see through. There are about ten seconds where I can’t see anything. You’d think I learn after doing it so many times.
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