2017 November

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsPublished Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.​ Since 0202.​

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[Debris] Monroe County’s new contractor, DRC Emergency Services, began collecting hurricane debris today on County roads in the area from MM 16 to MM 40. Collection will continue for the next few weeks. No deadline has been set yet for a final pass. Items that are not eligible for free storm debris pickup by contracted haulers include cars, trucks, motor homes, motorcycles, trailers, boats, watercraft and car parts like tires. People should make their own disposal arrangement for these items.

A word of our times: delusion — Being sure something is true in the face of all evidence that says it is not.


[“Being a Veteran”] Friday’s post was the most eloquent and complete explanation of being a Vet I have ever seen or read.  Kudos to that poster as I am sure he/she has calmed many souls out here that have the same feelings for a long time but not the words to express those feelings. Thank you, Brother!

[Writer’s Group] Hello, writers! We’ll meet at the Big Pine Key library from 1-3pm this Wednesday, November 15. Optional meet and greet for lunch at the Buck-Toothed Rooster at 11:30am. Although this email looks like it’s coming from Laura, it’s not. Laura and her husband are moving up the road and Jane is going to send out the group emails now. I’m Jane Newhagen. I’m a relatively new member of the group, live in Key West, have published three historical novels, and i’m playing around with short stories. I know some members here and look forward to meeting everybody else.

Laura has done a great job with the group and will be greatly missed. We wish her and her husband well wherever their travels may lead

I got home at 7:00 last evening and was swarmed by ‘skeeters.  Before I got to my door I could rake them off my face by the hand full and had dozens of the little bastards in my house.  Where the hell is mosquito control?  And, the no-see-’ems are equally as bad.  Help!
Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.  ~Will Rogers
[FEMA Trailers Are Coming] The Monroe County Commission on Tuesday will approve an agreement with the state that will bring about 80 FEMA trailers to the site of the old Big Pine Key road prison to house residents who lost their homes in Hurricane Irma.

Deer Ed, A simple solution to fix your broken internet. (Ed: I got internet last Thursday–finally.) Video

The Air Curtain Furnace is making people sick on Cudjoe. The permit only allows the burning of vegetative organic matter. The air curtain limits the amount of smoke dispersed, especially compared to open burning, said Monroe County Fire Marshal Craig Marston, who has overseen the burns. The amount of smoke released is minimal, with some of it being released for a few minutes each time a new pile of debris is burned, Marston said. In the air curtain process, smoke particles are trapped and reburned, reducing them to an acceptable limit per U.S. EPA guidelines.



New guacamole recipe. Recipes > Guacamole

My wife told me that she wanted an international food dinner for our anniversary.  I took her to the local taco truck.  That’s when the fight started.
[Independent Adjusters] Has anyone out there had any experience with independent adjusters after the storm?  I can’t get my Citizens adjuster to even respond to any of my call and e-mails.  I have no idea where my claim stands and I’m hesitant to begin repairs with no idea as to what insurance will pay for.


[Puerto Rico Independence] I think we should cut the umbilical cord with Puerto Rico. We don’t need them, and we’ll never vote to make them a state. As it is now, they are a welfare state that cannot maintain itself even with all the aid we provided before the hurricane. Cut them lose.

[Eating Right for Your Heart] The foods you eat directly impact your cardiovascular health. Improving your diet can help you manage current health conditions, such as high cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar, and can also help prevent future health problems. Link



How to make a toilet paper sailboat origami.

[The Great Escape] The benefit held Saturday at the Flea Market was a refreshing escape from Irma related clean up and repair duties.  It was nice to reconnect with many and meet others who all shared the misery of the past two months.  The band Bad Attitude was awesome; rock ‘n roll the way it should be.  Thank you to all who volunteered their services and especially to the coordinator of the event.  Hopefully the proceeds will help many of our lower Keys neighbors who took the hit which left them homeless or in need of help.  This benefit showcased what the lower Keys are all about–neighbors helping neighbors.  Thanks again for the escape!



Hypocritical Alabama Senatorial Candidate Roy Moore just bought a new van.

[FEMA] Disaster Recovery Centers in Florida will be closed on Sundays. However the Centers, which include four in Monroe County, will continue to be open Monday through Saturday from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m.

~Former Bank of America Building, 30572 Overseas Highway, Big Pine Key, FL 33043
~Islamorada Fire Station/2nd Fl. EOC, 81850 Overseas Highway, Islamorada, FL 33036
~3126 Flagler Ave. Key West, FL 33040
~6805 Overseas Highway, Marathon, FL 33050

[Canals] Someone removed the big palm trees from my canal in Port Pine Heights. Who ever did it–thank you! I’ve been trying to figure out how to get the trees out.


[Fast Eddie’s Fabulous Forecast] Week 11 is published. It may be a little dicey for some folks. Not advised for the weak of mind or spirit! Link

[Deadline for Public Assistance Requests Extended] The deadline for filing Requests for Public Assistance with FEMA to rebuild Florida’s public infrastructure damaged during Hurricane Irina has been extended to November 21. The state recommends applicants submit RPAs to the Division of Emergency Management’s Public Assistance portal at no later than November 18 to ensure documentation is complete and the state can properly support applicant RPAs. The RPA is the first step for public and private nonprofit organizations to apply for federal disaster assistance. State and local governments and certain private nonprofit organizations in Florida are eligible to apply for federal assistance for debris removal. emergency services related to the disaster and repairing or replacing damaged public facilities, such as roads. buildings and utilities.
[Rats] We are seeing rats in the road trash near Blimp Road and Cudjoe Gardens at MM 17 to 23. When are they going to clean up this mess?
[Alcohol & Fat] It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attack than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[Aztecs Were Cannibals] We but found sufficient proofs in the temples that boys and full-grown people had very recently been sacrificed; for the altars and walls were covered with drops of fresh blood. The flint knives with which the unfortunate victim’s breast is cut open to tear the heart away, and the large stones on which they are sacrificed, still lay in their proper places. Most of the bodies thus seen by our men were without arms or legs, which, according to the accounts of the Indians, had been devoured.

[Dumping] I am sorry this is your first storm at Elma Ave on Big Pine Key where you have only been at for two years. When the trash people are working hard to get the trash gone and are doing a wonderful job by helping the other 8 houses on the other side of the road because the trash pick up with the claw truck does not like to pick up under power lines.  Why would you move three appliances in the middle of my driveway that is under the power lines and call officer Riggs to say a crime has been committed when I move them back across the street where the other appliances are on the other side of the road? It’s not on your right of way. I forgot that when someone moves into a little spot on dry land they think they own the ocean
The last debris pick-up is starting soon for the area between MM 16 to 40, I strongly recommend all residents reorganize their piles of debris like FEMA and the County want, so the trucks do not have an excuse to by-pass properties that have everything mixed up. Some roads look like one big pile of crap, not sorted as required. Rats breed in piles of rotting trash as do large bugs and snakes. Irma took a toll on many, but that is no excuse for living like a vagrant

[Finding Nemo] My best friend, Yoriko the fish. Diver Hiroyuki Arakawa has a best friend: Yoriko the fish. They met off the coast of Tateyama, Japan, 30 years ago. Audio

[Climate Change] Oceans are about to become giant pools of seltzer. Climate change’s spike up in carbon dioxide means that oceans—which cover 71 percent of Earth’s surface—are going to become cesspools.



[No Dumping] I guess some people just can’t read.

[Derelict Boat] The boat East of Almond is now out of the canal. Now, as predicted, those in power are starting to blame homeowners for all the mixed trash dumped out front of homes, and not those who piled it up at numerous places. They’re saying on radio the homeowners may have to separate it and have it hauled way.  As long as Key West and US1 are nice, all is good. A lot of the homes that look good now also piled their crap in front of their neighbor’s homes instead of designated spots away from power lines. Private contractors have dumped mixed refuse on all the back roads off County Road, from day one. Tires, paint, concrete block, boats, drywall, roofing, plastic, etc. And then contracted removal companies pushed it further into the brush, with roving inspectors watching

[Boating Skills and Seamanship] The US Coast Guard Auxiliary, Flotilla 13-03, Big Pine Key is planning a Boating Skills and Seamanship class in January 2018 and will be issuing a press release for this course within the next few weeks.

For more information, visit our web site and select “Boating Safety Classes” Link

[Suing] Woman are suing for being goosed.
Guys are now suing for being fondled.
Gays are suing for not being asked first.
Lesbos are suing for dead batteries.
Politicians are suing because it’s the In Thing.
Lawyers are suing just to keep in practice
The Keys Chamber Orchestra and the Lower Keys Community Choir are planning Christmas concerts and would love to have you join us.  We are looking for musicians and singers, all ages welcome.  We have 2 concerts scheduled:  7:30 p.m. Dec. 11th at the BPK Methodist Church and 7:30 p.m. Dec. 13th at Venture Out on Cudjoe.  Orchestra rehearsals will be at the Senior Center at 380 Key Deer Blvd Nov. 19 and 26 starting at 2:00 p.m.  Choir rehearsals will be at The Lord of the Seas Lutheran Church on Key Deer Blvd starting at 7:00 p.m. Nov. 21 and 28.  Dress rehearsal will be Dec. 5 at 7:00 p.m. at the Methodist Church.  You must be available to attend all the rehearsals and concerts.  For more information, contact Wayne at   Please join us.
[Business Owners Commenting Politically] A recipe for disaster and stupidity. How many long-time business owners make the mistake of irresistible comments rife with political bias or controversy. Sadly, as a BPK property owner and resident, I made a decision to no longer patronize a BPK bar. Recently a post was made by the establishment. It sealed the deal. It won’t be missed. As a business owner, no patron knows my politics. Never will either. That’s how it works.



Bill Gates is buying land in Arizona to build a “smart city”. The community will integrate technology and high speed data into its infrastructure. Link

[Sig Heil] They just trashed a wax stature of Hitler because some one didn’t like it. What’s next, all our books, art, flags, passports, dildos, etc? Orwell was way ahead of his time.
[Sexual Advances] I will bet anything that all these woman complaining they were fondled years ago are just pissed the guy never called again!
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