2018 October

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​​

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[Guilty Until Proven Innocent] A close friend of mine used to drink too much vodka. Until she killed her liver. Alcohol is deadly. She has never been into drugs except for minor marijuana years ago. She inadvisably checked herself out of hospital some days ago since they really could not do much more for her except pass out pills and be handy if things got even worse. So she makes arrangements with her GP doctor to take over. He needs more blood tests and to see the prescriptions issued by the hospital. She takes her last med at 9 PM and then goes hungry for the blood tests the next morning. She brings the bag of pill bottles to the doctor to log, gives her blood, gets new prescriptions filled and decides she should better eat something.

She is weak, in pain, and her feet are swollen. She walks unsteadily. She goes to Paradise Burgers to check their menu. She is not inspired and orders nothing. She goes to her car and starts to back out when the bag of pills falls, distracting her. She bumps a parked truck, so she pulls back into her space, gets out and locates the owner to report the damage (unlike the last 4 drivers who have smashed into my vehicle in Big Pine parking lots). He is not a local. He goes ballistic and demands a police report. The cops come. That’s when a restaurant server gets involved, declaring her drunk or stoned, saying that when she first walked in she considered calling the cops on her (it’s right in the police report) and offered to be a witness to her condition. The cops see lots of pill bottles in the car and jump to conclusions. They see her unsteadiness. They see the needle damage from 97 sticks and IVs in the hospital. They get out the breathalyzer and she blows a ZERO alcohol. The bar owner or manager is pushing the cops on, saying she was trying to leave the scene instead of just waiting on a bench as she was.

The cops arrest her for DUI with property damage and personal injury, although nobody was hurt and the only evidence is her unsteadiness. The owner/manager demands that her car be towed away immediately. That was almost $600. Bail bond was $850. A lawyer is $5,000 up front. She was not drunk or stoned on anything. She offered to give a blood test but her offer was refused.

Look up hepatic encephalopathy and you can see why she may have looked trashed. But she was not, and the restaurant staff are totally unqualified to make that distinction. And totally out of place to demand that she be arrested. May the troublemakers also be falsely charged, getting the police record and big expenses even if the case is dismissed.

[Sewer Ruling] The chosen few. “a small group of residents” have been fighting against the use of grinder pumps on personal property by FKAA since the plans were finalized more than a decade ago. That “small group” are the few that are getting screwed with grinder pumps. If everyone were getting those pumps there would be a “large group” fighting against them. No one wants them, especially on private property, especially when you have to power them by electricity, especially when you have to pay for that electricity.

Ms Delany’s whose legal argument was reaffirmed when Judge Koenig ruled, “…the county and FKAA cannot compel Delany to install a grinder pump under the ordinance because it interjects an electrical powered device into what the ordinance defines as a gravity connection.”

Ms Delany has been fighting this for years, but FKAA figured if it plowed ahead, too much work would have to be re-done to bring the sewer into compliance with their own rules that they’ve ignored.




[Rock of Cudjoe] The “rock” as it was 20 years ago with outboard memorial.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest
[Hurricane Michael] The worst part is these poor souls are thinking things will get better soon, the houses will be demolished, the debris hauled away, insurance will pay up and they will be able to rebuild.  If they only knew how much red tape they will have to go through, how little help they will actually receive from the government and how difficult it will be to find contractors, they would give up right now. But shhh… don’t tell them, they feel bad enough already.
Time for a musician search for this year’s Christmas concerts.  All wind and string players as well as singers are invited to participate.  There are 5 Sunday rehearsals beginning Oct. 28th, 2 p.m. for orchestra at the BP Senior Center and 5 p.m. at the BP Methodist Church for the choir.  We then have a dress rehearsal at 7 p.m. on Dec. 3rd at the Methodist Church followed by 7:30 p.m. concerts on the 10th, 12th and 13th.  All ages are welcome.  For more information, contact Wayne Hulting at  Open to all regardless of how much time you spend in the Keys. You only have to love Christmas!
[Cannabis Vacations] These weed-friendly travel spots will make you want to plan an escape. Link
[Sewer Ruling] Probably due to another unvetted press release, misinformation has been printed about the October 4th Circuit Court Order on the case of Louise Delaney as Plaintiff vs the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority & Monroe County as co-Defendants. This was challenging the Defendants’ claimed right to demand property easements and electrical service from citizens to extend the Defendants’ grinder pump based sewage collection systems onto private property, using written threats to compel same. The newspaper suggested that such demands may still be lawful. They are not and never have been.
Judge Timothy Koenig was extremely clear on page 13 of his 15 page Order about the illegality of these government demands. There is no ambiguity in these quotations from the Court Order:
“…the Defendants have a mandatory obligation to connect the Plaintiff’s property to the public-right-of-way via a gravity system.”
“… the Defendants cannot compel the Plaintiff to install a grinder pump, which is powered by electricity and not the gravitational attraction of the earth’s mass, before connecting her property to the public right-of-way.” “Such a requirement plainly, necessarily, and unlawfully interferes with the Plaintiff’s right to a gravity system by converting it into a low pressure or hybrid system.”
Well stated, Judge Koenig!



What happened to jokes Fridays? (Ed: Yeah, what happened? The joksters all must  all be in the hospital with broken funny bones!)

[How Red and Green Slime Could Swing Florida’s Senate Race] If Rick Scott knocks Bill Nelson out of the U.S. Senate, the Republicans probably hold the chamber. But there’s trouble in the water—literally. Link
[Deathtraps of North Roosevelt Blvd] So many bicyclists are killed or seriously injured on Key West streets we took a closer look at one issue: Crosswalks on North Roosevelt Blvd. Video



So weird, back during Hurricane Katrina, people used to call that “looting”.

[Know Your Community to Better Serve It] As your Big Pine & No Name Key neighbor I’ve attended hundreds of community events, from business events to charitable events, from Big Pine through Key West and I’ve attended more than 160 community events just this year alone. You can’t represent the community if you’re not an active and involved member of the community.  ~Beth Ramsay-Vickrey for KW Utility Board Seat D


[Judge Not…] Florida Supreme Court has ordered that the job of replacing three of its justices belongs not to lame-duck Gov. Rick Scott but to his successor, whomever that might be. Link

[Mold Eats World] Toxic mold could be lurking behind your walls, inside your ceiling, and beneath your countertops, and our warming climate isn’t helping. But is this fungal explosion really the health risk we might think it is?


[The Omnivorous Sharks That Eat Grass] This shark prefers a little salad along with its main course. Diminutive bonnethead sharks are the first omnivorous sharks known to science, which could change our understanding of what some sharks eat. Link

[Vaping and Drilling] Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t constitutional amendment proposals on the ballot supposed to be about a single subject?  I just looked at the absentee ballot I received and there’s a proposed amendment that deals with a prohibition of off shore drilling and a prohibition against indoor vaping.  How in the world are those two things a single issue? Link
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it! An important message from Steve Jobs. If you are intrigued, stay on the site, and the rest of Steve’s speech continues. Video



Any word on the Ride of the Living Dead on BPK this year?

The Constitutional Amendments on Florida’s election ballot explained. Link
[Playing with Your Food] Tricks you didn’t know you could do with food. The catsup idea did not work for me. Link
[Orchid Society] Thank you Liza Bray for taking over the Newsletter for me. But for the time being I will be sending it out for her.

The next meeting is on Sunday, October 21, at the West Martello Fort as usual.  1 p.m. The program featuring the ever-popular Mac Rivenbark will begin at 1:30. Mac’s program is always entertaining and informative, and he brings a great selection of plants for sale & raffle. Don’t forget to bring your Show & Tell plants.

You may be interested in going to the Redland Open House. But not on Sunday, of course.

Deer Ed, your contact form on the CT was not opening for me, maybe it was something I was doing wrong.  Please check it. Thanks. (Thanks for letting me know. I tried it and it opened for me. I don’t know what to say. It’s like today when our taxes were due and the .pdf file for us to sign wouldn’t open, but the accountant’s bill opened just fine.)
[“Spanish Harbor sewerage spill”] Expect more of these raw sewage spills — something that never happens with septic tanks. Have you seen ocean water quality improvements as more people connect to central sewer? The canal between Airport Dr & Caribbean Dr East on Summerland turned green about a week after they pressurized that sewer section that they placed under Niles Channel. The once clear swimming canals have never been clear since. The Keys have been killed by tourism and over population. Somebody get me a tilapia sammich and a $9 draft please.




Ever wonder what the world would be like if all clothes disappeared? Everyone would move to the Keys and be happy. No wars. No hate. Nothing but fun in the sun! Buy stocks in deodorant and handy wipes.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions
[Glenn Reber] Does anyone have any information on a Big Pine Key resident named Glenn Reber? I think he lives somewhere in the Avenues. No, he does not owe me money! Thank you.


Who says you shouldn’t drink while you’re fishing. This is one fish that will disagree. Video

[Orators of the Past] “One man with courage makes a majority.” ~Andrew Jackson

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

“The buck stops here.” ~Harry S. Truman

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” ~John F. Kennedy

Sending email is getting better in the Keys with the new fiber optic lines. It is a good way to offset the excessive drinking and sex we have to suffer with down here.
Marathon’s Coral Country Road – Concert in the Park was on October 13. Featuring Jerrod Neimann & Little Texas with special guests: The Billy Rice Band, Zach Stone, The Carousers. Full day concert with gates opening at 11am.

Billy Rice Band played late afternoon with, maybe, 250 in attendance.   There were more vendors than attendees for the first hour and a half. Little Texas performed their hearts out to a nearly empty park. Attendance topped out around 400 for the last performer, Jerrod Niemann. Billy Rice music video

Does workforce housing allow for slaves?
[“Spanish Harbor sewerage spill”] Take two, or is it working as planed? Yes, folks, this “Lets stink them out so we can buy the islands cheep” is probably one of many parts of the development scam to rebuild the Keys into a super resort/holy roller/mob controlled nervana. Paradise was nice while it lasted! RIP

[Junk Food Cost] My wife just came from the food market with some donuts and other junk food. I looked at the prices they stick it to us with today. No way in hell will ever spend that kind of money for junk foods again. $4.50 for 8 doughnuts! $5.29 for ice cream? Time to boycott these pirates in the Keys.

[Mosquito Control] Walt (From The Wrong). Check the use of the chemical cost since the long time employees left because Mosquito Control cut back on inspectors and not having enough time to check all areas. Mosquito Control is treating water that has no larva. I am sure with all your and Phil Goodman’s experience you know all breading locations do not breed every time there is a tide or rain event, so they must be checked. But because of the cost savings you talk about checking chemical usage. To say that because of Mosquito Control there was dengue fever in Key West just shows how you really have no clue.  ~
[Anarchist] This greedy uncaring planet would straighten out in a few days if all Doctors, Lawyers and Politicos disappeared.

[Ancestory] If you are an American, your heritage is either Native American, slave, refugee or immigrant. That’s it.

[Online Shopping] Just like with any company that was bought out or taken over by a new batch of greedy bastards, AT&T seems to be falling apart. Try to get something changes, something fixed, something new and you have to threaten them with a terror attack to get to talk to anyone that speaks and thinks in English. Same goes for cruise lines and any large company who does not have a complaint line or feedback link.
[Hospital scam(?)] Who is going to investigate the scam that they are pulling over the voters. Where are the pictures of our ruined hospital? We need outsiders to look into this big scam!
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