2016 October

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

deer hunters


Can we kill Key Deer infected with the screwworm? I had a buck under my house who was suffering. I knew he wouldn’t be there by the time Refuge workers came for him (if they came at all, as has been my experience). I would rather put a bullet in his head than watch him suffer so. I could then call the Refuge to have them dispose of the body. By the time anyone notices a deer with the screwworms, and would be docile enough to treat them, it’s too late.

[“What to do if a neighbor’s lot is overgrown”] Round-up or Spectracide Ground Clear, both available at Home Depot. Works best when applied liberally right after dark. I’m not saying you need to spray the entire lot, but if you chemically edge the overgrown lot, you will reduce the “beasties” who crawl out of the brush into your yard.
clown-evil[Not Clowning Around] Friday morning, on one of the TV morning shows (I won’t say which one since I’m ashamed to have even had it on), they announced that there was a national hotline people can call to help them deal with it if they get stressed out by an offensive Halloween costume.
I fear for the future of the Republic.
[Election] Instead of worrying about their physical health we need a psychological profile for our candidates.


It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.   ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store

[Election Fraud] Saying an election is rigged because you are losing in the poles is a sign of a delusional candidate. Voter fraud in America is a rare thing and the perpetrator is always caught. We have the strictest election rules that are almost impossible to rig. There’s certainly not enough fraud to sway an election.
[Screwworm] From observing the deer in my yard I think the does get golf ball-sized lumps on their necks and cheeks and the bucks get a horrendous outbreak on their face. It’s heartbreaking to see them suffer so.


[More Rules] Without government, who would protect us from people who drive past the same point twice within 6 hours?

[“Aluminum railing people”] My favorite is the one on the old bridge, east side of Summerland Key. How long was that one up before they condemned the whole bridge? That was money well spent, eh?
Reminds me of my hometown where, at a public dock, railings got installed and then they charged you a few bucks to fish over it. You win, I’ll just fish someplace else, but I’m glad everyone is safe from themselves. My guess is they used the money from the daily fee to pay for the railing.

[No on Amendment 1: Solar Energy] Amendment 1 is another bait and switch funded by the power companies in order to tax us further. They say that if people switch to alternate energy the power companies will be in trouble from lost revenue and will need the new tax to replace the tax dollars they will no longer receive from our utility bills. Why is this Amendment wholly sponsored by the Electric companies? Do you think they’ve seen the light? No.

I agree with the person who criticized Deer Ed over the “positive comments only” policy.  What that person does not realize is that Deer Ed is totally positive.  He is positive that FKAA is bad, so anything complaining about them is positive.  He is positive that Key Deer eat our beloved plants and might even get into an improperly sealed container of trash, so anything that kills them is positive.  He is positive that dogs are good and cats are bad, so killing cats is positive.  I mean, it is obvious to me, what is wrong with the rest of you? (Ed: I think you’re referring to a different website because those opinions are not mine. I just edit and publish.)
Wouldn’t it help keep the new sewer system cleaner if my rain gutters and French drains flushed into my sewer pipe past the meter?
hospital-emergency-helio[Trauma Star] Recent reports suggest that the Sheriff’s Department Trauma Star medical evacuation program should break even this year and be in the black in 2017.  That indeed is good news.

Given those reports, I contacted the Sheriff’s Department regarding Trauma Star costs.  Finance Director Mike Rice provided me with the following data.  A medical evacuation from Lower Keys Medical Center to Ryder Trauma Center in Miami costs $24,471.  Costs from Fishermen’s Hospital and Mariners Hospital to Ryder Trauma Center are $21,353 and $17,840 respectively.

What I found most interesting about those numbers are reports that LifeNet charges between $45,000 and $65,000 for a medical evacuation from Lower Keys Medical Center to Ryder Trauma Center.  Obviously, that is a very substantial difference in the neighborhood of double or more.  Makes you wonder how LifeNet determines its cost structure and further encourages taxpayers to use Trauma Star whenever possible.

Good thing we have Paulette Summers to explain how to operate & negotiate the crosswalks I was really perplexed at such a complicated system. Also to tell us when and where the never ending construction is because it’s so hard to see. My only question is, what does she do when she is not doing a radio interview?

The Lexus grill looks like the Predator’s mouth. Every time I see a Lexus that’s what I think.

I told myself that I should stop drinking, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who talks to himself.
[United States of America vs. Leah & Phillip Gould] What was the sentencing for the shark poachers of BPK? Funny how this info is hidden, probably because they only got probation and are free to go out in to the big ocean unmonitored. Meanwhile unsuspecting aquarium owners are giving these crooks business who rape and pillage the ocean, all the while smiling on Facebook. What was their punishment, if any?



Wahoooo! The painted buntings are back. Earliest return ever, so it’s probably going to get bad weather up north early this year. Also it’s time to put up the hummingbird feeders, they’ve already made it to Miami.

[Protest Songs] You know the songs, but what were they written in protest against? Musical Quiz
[Local Elections] “Ya know I was born here an, ya know like, I’m really smart an ya know like you should ya know like, vote for me cause ya know I research Technology a lot so, you know I should have this really high-paying job.”

I wouldn’t put this imbecile in charge of pencil sharpening.


If you are going to store anything with batteries, remove them because they will rot and leak acid which will destroy the fittings.

[Screwworm] I haven’t read anything that even speculates how, after 50 years, we all of a sudden have a screwworm infestation.  Where did they come from?  Why Big Pine Key and No Name Key? It almost seems like it was intentional.  Either that or the ridiculous policies of Fish and Wildlife, like banning mosquito abatement in the refuge, have finally bit them in the keister, along with all the poor animals that inhabit those keys. I think the deer (and the people) would be better off without Fish and Wildlife “protecting” them
watkins-norris[The FTR Zika Files] Mosquito Control Board candidate Watkins Norris took to Facebook in support of her candidacy.  Her message was just about as flawed as a candidate’s message can be.  She is either being woefully misinformed, or she is purposefully being disingenuous.  Neither option speaks well of her candidacy.

She was flat wrong on the following: She claimed that the new Big Coppitt FKMCB facility would be comprised of trailers.  Not true, not even close.  The facility will have a purpose built large garage type structure with some office and work space for operations employees.  There will be an additional modular office structure made up of 3 modules.  This same type of structure that is in wide and common use by government, the school board, and business.

She claimed that the trailers would not pass code.  The truth is that the structures must pass code.  If they fail, they will not be given a Certificate of Occupancy.  They will be on foundations, above the flood plain.  I live in a modular structure as do hundreds if not thousands of Keys residents.  Modular structures are safe and have endured hurricane after hurricane.  These structures are commonplace.  Not pretty, but functional and cost effective.

She claimed that FKMCB does not have the money to go forward with the Big Coppitt Key project.  That claim is fully and totally false.  The board has the money on hand and is ready to go forward.

She fretted that should a hurricane strike, FKMCB operations might be crippled if ops were moved to Marathon.  This notion is actually silly.  The new Big Coppitt facility will be primarily an ops facility.  There is no plan to move ops to Marathon.  Ms. Watkins Norris should have known this.

Ms. Watkins-Norris castigates her opponent, Jill Cranny-Gage, for realizing and acknowledging an error and then taking action to remedy that error.  Ms. Watkins Norris tells us that she would not have acknowledged error and would have gone forward, thus throwing good money after bad.

mosquito-taj-mahalCranny-Gage had initially voted for the Big Coppitt Skeeter Taj Mahal, then decided that that project was not an appropriate use of tax dollars. I salute Jill Cranny-Gage on her wisdom and courage.

Ms. Watkins Norris’ fixation on the Big Coppitt facility is revealing.  A big part of the initial decision to build the Skeeter Taj Mahal was influenced by old line staffers who strongly objected having to drive to Marathon.

Now Ms. Watkins-Norris and candidate Steve Smith are receiving strong support from old line persons who have fed at the public trough for decades.  None of Watkins Norris’ offerings will kill a singe mosquito.  But she will make old line staffers very, very happy.

She, if elected, will strive to revitalize the Skeeter Taj Mahal on Big Coppit.  She would have us pay millions for a sleek and even luxurious structure that will have virtually -0- public traffic.   A structure that will kill not a single skeeter, but will devour long tons of money that could be spent protecting the public health by killing skeeters.

[Screwworm] It’s a good thing the Refuge people split the herd and put some on Cudjoe Key some years ago to protect the species in case of disaster. That time has come. Thanks for the foresight!
The U.S. government just made its biggest clean energy purchase ever. It was for the Navy! Link


New World Screwworm link with info and picture of screwworm adult. Link

[“Deer Ed cat killer”] The new-not-so-Deer Ed hates cats & it’s a shame it is telling dumb folk to put out a platter of anti-freeze for them. I don’t even know why I’m writing in and reading anymore. Guess this goes with the Florida screwworm, Zika, white flies, bed bugs, head lice, ticks & Lyme disease, pythons, sink holes, lionfish and the over-fish-collectors who take sharks and any kind of fish against the law. Mother nature is retaliating. So, cut down some more trees and take even more little fishies from the ocean. I realized the people of the Keys (not Key West!) are not very nice early on and the fact that they try to viciously ruin other people’s lives is malicious and most times it backfires upon them. We do not get joy watching all this karma, but we are watching. If you’re planning an escape from Florida, the banks are nit-picky in giving out mortgages these days – so get your ducks in a row and expect several months of underwriting hell. They appear to be disconcerting of senior citizens and it would be a shame if the whole lot of the deplorables were stuck way, way down there, inside their tiny cottages on stinky canals, being bullied by all the corrupt bubbas who are embedded inside every single entity in the Keys. Do the right thing and dump out all that anti-freeze the bad guys are leaving out for pussycats and make a police report. (Ed: Wakey, wakey, just because I publish some of this crap does not mean I support it. Don’t forget freedom of the press.)
The Southernmost Homeless Assistance League has proposed to build and operate a new homeless overnight shelter for at least the next decade. The nonprofit will pay for construction costs of the new facility at the former Easter Seals city property, with a 10-year lease agreement at $1 per year. Plans call for the construction of eight to 10 $6,000 Quonset huts — with each housing approximately 20 beds — to be constructed and the existing building be renovated and used for administrative purposes and laundry facilities, according to SHAL Executive Director John Miller.

No shower or toilet area? No soup kitchen area? This will be SHAL’s new HQ? At no rent?

volunteer-dayKey West Association of Realtors Volunteer Day with Habitat for Humanity. A stellar group of realtors pitched in to help paint the parsonage of Bethel AME Church for the Annual Key West Association of Realtors® Volunteer Day with Habitat for Humanity of Key West and the Florida Keys last week. Leigh Ann Roach with Preferred Properties even brought husband Tom along to help out. Leigh Ann said “Working with Habitat for Humanity just makes a person feel good about the community we all share. It’s definitely time well spent.”

In addition to building affordable homes, Habitat assists with repair projects in local neighborhoods, focusing on projects with positive community impact and “A Brush With Kindness” projects targeting low income seniors whose homes are in need of minor exterior repairs. Habitat relies on volunteers to support their mission of ensuring that EVERYONE has a decent home. For more information, visit

Pictured from Left to Right are: Back row:  Tina Masters, Coldwell Banker Schmitt; Meghan Davis, Bascom Grooms Real Estate; Mike Caron, Compass Realty; Tom Roach, Kristen Vogel and James Giroux, Century 21 All Keys.

Front Row:  Monique Thiel, Sellstate Island Properties; Ellen Gvili, Engel & Volkers Florida Keys; Leigh Ann Roach, Preferred Properties; Darlene Thomas, Florida Keys Real Estate Company; Lynessa Wilson and Erica Hadaric, Berkshire Hathaway Knight & Gardner Realty. (Not pictured: John Parce, Island and Resort Realty and Daria Lopez, KWAR Staff.)

[Removing Spam] I call Matt the computer guy at 305-393-0122 and give him a few bucks for his time when it’s under 1 hour.
[“Gulfside beaches”] I have found that most Gulfside beaches are just where the salt water meets the land. There are thousands of them. Look for the type that has sandy land where it does meet that salt water. You’ll find the water depth of only a few inches. Good luck!


The average human’s attention span is 8 seconds.

[“Gulfside beaches”] There are beaches on the Gulfside of Big Pine Key down to Summerland Key? Look closely as they are only one inch wide at low tide!
[Email Scam] My name is Mr.Victor Tharage I am a staff of government ministry in South Africa responsible for awarding and execution of contracts. I have picked up trust and courage to look for a reliable and honest person like you who will be capable for this important business transaction believing that you will never let me down either now or in the future, I have in my possession an outstanding contract payment of USD$18, 000,000 Million United State Dollars …
nira-tocco 700x175
Why don’t you just change the name of your site to: FTR the sky is and get it over with?


[Art] Andy Thurber Reception / Exhibition Oct 22 at The Gallery on Greene Street.

[Saving Critters] This little-noticed court settlement will probably save millions of animals. Link
[Screwworms] Great! Now we have another thing to worry about when picking up migrating Jersey girls–screw worms. I wonder if they will make it past the screening point in Key Largo?


If you talk about anything long enough, you eventually sound insane.

Come play with us. Coconuts your local Bar, Liquor Store, pool room a bunch of TV’s AC, Wi/Fi, Darts & arcade. We have the best drink prices in the Keys & we are always open. If you are a customer, thank you. If you have not given us a try, stop by and check out the “NUT”. We want your business & will work hard to keep it.
“When he worked, he really worked. But when he played, he really PLAYED.”  ~Dr. Seuss


The stone crab season began Saturday and runs through May 15.

[Flunked Keys Living] “The good thing is most of them leave in 3-5 years.” Why do they leave? because paradise sucks big time with rip-off prices, dope, lousy fishing and boating, meatheads, rednecks, dirty everything and a government akin to what’s in Moscow.
ocelot[Feds Wiping Out The Ocelot] Wildlife Services, the government’s rogue animal-killing program, is at it again. This time it’s ocelots — the highly endangered, small native leopards of the American Southwest — that are collateral damage in the feds’ out-of-control predator-trapping program.

Once there were thousands of ocelots across the United States, but they were wiped out to make room for cattle and development. With fewer than 100 remaining in the country, we need to protect every one. Instead, Wildlife Services’ outdated predator-killing agenda has turned their few last safe havens in Texas and Arizona into killing fields laced with steel traps, foothold snares and exploding cyanide M-44 land mines. These paid assassins need to be stopped before there are no ocelots left.

When a locals’ bar starts to fantasize and write weird slogans, it’s time to clean the beer tubes and check what was burned in the ashtrays!
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