Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.


[Land Give-a-way] How the County gave away the last bit of public waterfront on Stock Island. Two Stock Island residents have appealed a recent decision by the Monroe County Commission to abandon Laurel Avenue and MacDonald Avenue on the island in favor of adjoining landowners Murray Marine Sales and Service, Inc. and Wreckers Cay Apartments at Stock Island. Link



[FKAA] While trying to pay my FKAA water bill at 1100 Kennedy drive I was totally shocked. The two story building had disappeared and in its place is the brand new FKAA Customer Service Annex.  Kind of appropriate don’t you think.

[Reincarnation] Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.



It’s no longer “5 o’clock somewhere”, it’s 2020 everywhere! so drink whenever you want!

[Current Logic] You do realize that if we had no Weather Service we’d have no hurricanes.
Marijuana decriminalization vote expected in House. 66% of Americans support legalizing marijuana, according to a Gallup poll. Video


There are more than 90,000 registered Little Free Library book-sharing boxes in 91 countries worldwide.  During September’s Literacy Month, United Way of Collier and the Keys is pleased to announce that, over the last year, six more have been added in Monroe County.  Located throughout the county, these Little Free Libraries will encourage reading and improve literacy in the areas they serve. Little Free Libraries

The Phoenician people enjoy the glory of having been the inventors of letters, and the first discoverers of the sciences of astronomy, navigation, and the art of war. Then it all stopped. Why does a civilization die?



Big shout out to Laurie at Morgan Insurance Group. She is very helpful and professional in dealing with our insurance needs.

Wanted: Car seat for a 3 year old or older (678) 756-0868 -Luba

Wanted: Used car under $5000 (305) 896-5742 -Nicole

Wanted: 1 or 2 bedroom apartment for 3 people, no pets, no kids, have F/L/S 305) 509-2652 -Farrah

The former Old Road Café, former Bella Luna, was planning to open this Spring pre-virus.  The cafe owners added landscaping, including three very large pots in front (you can see two of those large pots in the lower right hand corner).  Now the new housing is up, including mailboxes planted in concrete.  This area was parking for the restaurant. What now? Planning is important.


[“Manchineel poison tree”] Was the manchineel apple the same apple that Sleeping Beauty ate that knocked her out? Or was the manchineel apple Eve snacked on, that caused so much trouble? A lot of these legends and fairy tales are based on actual events long forgotten.

[Deer Abby] Why do sailors wear bell bottoms?
Bellbottoms fold up over the thigh enabling sailors to keep their pants dry while swabbing the decks. And in the 70s they looked groovy and everyone wore bellbottoms.
Eric Clapton — Bellbottom Blues


Mom: This isn’t the mask you wore to school this morning.
Kid: No, this one is way cooler. I traded mine to Taylor who traded with Hunter

I understand the admin offices to pay your FKAA water bill are in the BBT building and field hands are on Stock Island.

I need copies of the FKAA CRWS System Development Fee letter dated 27 June 2012 and 31 May 2013 addressing the $4500 impact fee to be assessed to each residence. Small reward offered.  Contact


Deer Ed, you and the CT were MIA for a couple of days – so glad you are back. Just for the record, both of your readers out here are glad you are back – both of us (smile) (Editor: I just found out yesterday it was offline. It took me 3 hours, mostly on hold, to find the right tech support guy who told me how to fix it in two minutes. For you techies: I had to “flush the network.”: Command Prompt > ipconfig /flushdns)

[“Blame the victim”] No one disputed the fact that George Floyd was a criminal asshole. White folks always miss the point: assholes don’t deserve to be murdered just because they are black assholes. The cops mustn’t think of themselves as judges or executioners. They need training in self-control. That will fix the problem.



[Dough Boys] Campfires are for more than s’mores. Link

I’ve got a subscription to the KW Citizen online, but it’s always the same news with a few new stories. That’s it–rehashed news. I don’t even read it everyday any more. Boo on the Citizen. If it’s because of Covid, give us a discount. We don’t have much money either.
[How to Train an Elephant] The elephant is kept in this hole and five or six days are allowed to pass before he is given anything to eat. When that time has elapsed, a man brings him a very small supply of food, the supply being increased from day to day until he eats by himself. This is continued for about a month, during which time those who bring him food gradually tame him, until at last they venture to descend into the hole. This is done for several days until he permits the man to put his hands upon his tusks. He then goes into the hole and puts heavy chains around the legs, and whilst in this condition they train him so well that he learns all but to speak.


[“Captain Hans Baumgarten”] Here is a picture of Han’s ashes being spread on the NW Channel. The Captain was dumping them from a platform at the stern from a plastic bag when the wind came up and blew the ashes on the mourners. A lot of boats turned out for this sad event.

[Conquest] The Oriental idea of conquest was without incorporation, the Roman idea was conquest with incorporation but without representation, and the English idea of empire building was incorporation with representation. This is eminently true as regards England, to her credit be it said. And herein was her folly in forcing the American Revolution, because at that time she fell from her own ideals of incorporation with representation.


Backyard gardeners, beware: tomato plants have become collateral damage in the government’s war on drugs, especially marijuana. In fact, merely growing a vegetable garden on your own property, or in a greenhouse on your property, or shopping at a gardening store for gardening supplies—incredibly enough—could set you up for a drug raid sanctioned by the courts. Link

[Summertime in the Keys] I was out in the back country just sitting in my boat while all around me the flats were dead calm. I mean not even water slapping the side of my boat, no airplanes. Nothing. There wasn’t a sound anywhere no matter how hard I strained my ears to listen. Absolute silence is something few people have ever experienced in nature. It is truly rare. The water was so clear I was able to take pictures of the bottom from inside the boat. There was no horizon. The sea just melted into the sky as if it were all one. This is why I live in the Keys.