2014 July

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

drop splash
[Water in Gas] Has anyone else been having problems with water in their fuel at the Ramrod Shell station? This is our second time in four months for both my vehicle and my husband’s truck. It has been very costly to us. The owner has not acknowledge there is a problem. I have called the Shell headquarters trying to resolve this problem. If you are having problems as well it has to be documented. Please contact us we will go through the proper channels so they can get this resolved.
What a life! Gee, I sit in front of my TV six hours a day, in front of my computer another six hours, eat three to five times a day, sleep, then do it all over again every day. Boy, is this Paradise or what?
The mentality of today’s women is very questionable. After walking into my guest bedroom and interrupting my sister-in-law in her underwear, she freaked out. Ten minutes later she walks out ready to go to the beach in a French String Bikini! See is from NJ of course! Ugh!
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[UK government bids to overturn US haggis ban] Attention sheeple!! There is a far worse threat to our American way of life than radical Islamist, illegal immigrants or cheap Chinese products flooding our markets. Link
[Arthur] East coast storm advisory. Link
[“Moving block wall to increasing parking”] You shouldn’t have any problem with the building department as the walls are more than likely non-bearing walls. If they are bearing walls you’ll need an architect or engineer to submit plans and that gets expensive, but still doable.
Vintage Marantz stereo PM750DC amplifier ST520 tuner, speakers. All for $100 obo Classified Ads > Electronics
[“Amazon collecting tax”] They have to collect sales tax for Floridians because Amazon now has a warehouse in Florida and that constitutes doing business in Florida and that requires them to collect the tax. Since forever, Amazon has been fighting the collection of sales tax, but now that they are forced to pay wherever they have warehouses they are changing their tune. Now they want all online retailers to pay state sales tax.
[“Tiki bars explained”] Looe Key Resort is the “tiki bar” or “little tiki” and Boondocks is the “big tiki” in local jargon.
Tonight’s the night! Coconuts Uke nite, 7pm.
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[“Miami driver commenter”] So you are the one making decent folks in the Keys crazy by driving 55mph in a 55mph zone wondering about someone on your ass. Lady, drive, like, 57 or 58 mph at least. It’s ok and the cops won’t pull you over. What will happen is an accident and not because of the ‘Miami driver’ rather because of you. How annoying is someone driving exactly the speed limit? or, God forbid, under it?
[“Amazon and FL sales tax”] Yes, they now have two points of presence (warehouses). They call them fulfillment centers and they are huge, huge buildings. One in Lakeland and one south of Tampa. With a presence in a state they are required to collect sales tax.
[School Shooting] An ingenious entrepreneur has come up with a way to minimize the carnage during one of our many school shootings and make some money at the same time. How American is that? Link
How to Write a Letter to the President of the United States of America. Go ahead, he works for you. Tell him what you think! Link
What are the job requirements for the blimp site on Cudjoe Key?
amazon-logo2[“Amazon sale tax”] From what I’ve read (and some of it was on the internet, so it has to be true!) Amazon has been battling the states on collecting sales tax for years. The crux of the argument is the establishment of a Nexus (a company location in the state). If you have a Nexus, then you have to collect sales tax. Obviously, this has given a nice price advantage to the on-line retailer when the out-of-pocket costs to the buyer don’t include 6-10% sales tax – Amazon is among the biggest. The states are fighting this aggressively and still trying to find ways to collect those sale tax receipts in courts all over the country.But now the focus is on speed of delivery, and Amazon is ambitiously betting on setting up fulfillment centers all over the map. These fulfillment centers would be a Nexus and require sales tax collection. Since they know this is coming, and would then be at a disadvantage to other on-line retailers, they voluntarily agreed to collect sales tax in all states now. This both saves the legal costs and puts the pressure on the other on-line retailers to collect sales tax too (or face the states in courts without deep pocket Amazon defending their cause).

All in all, pretty clever; they are leveling the field in advance of their better fulfillment. Their drones should be free and clear at take-off time.

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rip grave skeleton hand waving[VA in Trouble] Vet finally gets VA doctor’s appointment – 2 years after he died! Video
[“Miami Drivers”] To keep people off your tail drive 5 miles per hour over the speed limit around here. The cops won’t stop you. Everyone here drives 5 mph over the limit. I don’t know why, but that’s how to keep tailgaters away. Police cannot win a court case unless it is for doing 10 mph over the limit.
[“Removing Bus Shelter”] I would like the City Council of Marathon to stand at one of those bus signs in 90 degree heat for an hour with no shelter, or how about during a lightning storm? Have the police roust those drunks and homeless out of there. There are good hardworking people that ride those buses. Gimme Shelter–Rolling Stones
[“Families of GM defective car victims hit the jackpot”] And all they had to do was lose some family members!
HandheldCannon[“2-handed pistol gripping”] If you can shoot a .44 magnum with one hand, I will salute you any day!
[Political Advertisement] Since FTR pays for space he must put the standard public disclaimer at the bottom of his diatribe anytime he talks about a specific candidate. He must also report these contributions to the candidate for financial disclosure. If he declines it behooves you to do it for him. Goodman can be removed from the ballot and both you and FTR fined for campaign violations. Just a friendly reminder.
[“Marathon Wedding”] I am looking for someone that can un-marry me for twenty bucks (big tip included).
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[Iraq] What the hell happened to all the billions of dollars worth of guns and crap we already gave Iraq? I bet they sold it cheap on eBay (with free shipping included). And how many times do we have to train those guys? They must have short memories over there, besides, what’s so complex about pulling a trigger anyway? Those insurgents don’t have any fancy stuff or training and they seem to be doing pretty good.
Dear Ed, Why did you re-write my post concerning the prior poster who said some smacked ass New Yorker trademarked the work “Hoagie” to use for his NYC franchise? What’s with the “Italian” comment? I never lived in PHL – and they do not call them Hoagies in NYC. Why bother accepting posts if all you’re going to do is totally change it. Makes one wonder if all comments are re-written/slanted by you. (Ed: I didn’t rewrite it. It was a similar post on the same topic.)
Stupid, Crazy & Funny Redneck car fixes! Link
[Sewers] There now seems to be a pattern emerging of misrepresentation on the Lower Keys sewer project by the FKAA. Numbers fudged, regulations ignored and attempts to thwart public input, and intimidation. How can the FKAA employees , public servants , countenance such behavior and why do it? I don’t understand the motive.The FKAA executive director , a former State Attorney (without any engineering credentials), like any other good attorney, is representing his client , the FKAA, whether they are guilty or not of deceiving the public or violating state and federal law . That’s his job, but we do not have to believe what he has said when the evidence from public record requests contradicts what they are saying to the local media. They have an extensive advertising budget to progandize, but I am not buying into it until an independent judge looks at it all . Unfortunately 3 members of our County Commission have not shown much interest in getting to the truth.

I think the pressurized sewer system is an environmental and economic disaster in the making. And I think the public and the County Commission are beginning to see that. Let’s hope they stop now and take a second look

[“Bus stop removal”] I always feel bad for the people waiting at the bus stop that have to put up with the homeless that hang out there. At the same time I see no reason to move the damn thing out onto US1. Why don’t the cops just run the bums off (they know who they are), so the bus riders do not have to deal with them? Man, talk about incentive to never lose your drivers license! Waiting for and riding the bus must be a real drag.
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buffalo chic shephard pieHappy Hump day from Springer’s Bar and Grill (every day is hump day for a camel herder). Today’s special is Buffalo Chicken Shepherd’s Pie. A spicy twist to a down home classic.
Thursday Special: shrimp salad on a kaiser
Friday Special: shrimp corn dogsHere’s another little Independence Day tidbit for you. Who was the oldest and youngest signers of the Declaration of Independence? Ben Franklin was the oldest at 70 and Edward Rutledge was the youngest at 26 years old. Rutledge owned 50 slaves and later became governor of South Carolina.
Don’t forget, Springer’s will be at Big Pine Park for the 4th of July festivities. We will be serving up our delicious BBQ pork sandwiches for $5 with a free drink! So come on out, enjoy a bite and watch the amazing fireworks display. What a way to spend the day.
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s always something special at Springer’s
[“Amazon sales tax”] The reason they have to charge tax now on all items shipped into Florida is because they built a warehousing facility in the state. When you establish a “brick and mortar” building, then they are required to charge state sales tax.
[“FTR’S response: “The “From the Reich” banner submitted by the poster is fascinating to me. It might have been a sophomoric attempt at humor, but I doubt it. I marvel at the left’s addiction to distorting reality”] Oh thank you, thank you, thank you FTR guy. Once again you have unwittingly helped me prove a point. I submitted that post, but I did not submit the graphic (gee I wonder who could have done that?), but as usual you didn’t check the facts. Talk about distorting reality. (Ed: Guilty as charged.)
[Wasted Talent]
I wonder how many retirees living here, specifically around the BPK area, feel underutilized with their skills, having taken a lifetime to develop and hone them, but now are left with no viable outlet to use them, let alone earn income from them?
Have you thought about getting a job to make a little extra money, but without too much commitment, time or otherwise? If so, and if the work/job existed, how would you adjust to the likelihood of being reduced to menial labor that uses none of your skills, other than the ability to stand upright and show up on time? If there are people in that situation, how would you feel about meeting, either in person at the Senior Center, or online in a forum, to discuss ways to utilize our collective skills, to derive income in ways that perhaps haven’t been fully explored?
This is purely hypothetical and I have no further thoughts or answers to my own questions. I guess I just like to make thought provoking posts!
[Voting Online] Norway internet voting experiment fails. The government has decided that it’s not worth the risks, especially since test programs didn’t improve turnout. Yet enthusiasm remains in other countries. Link
Seems like the holiday weekend invasion is starting already judging from the traffic on U.S.1 on Monday. And mini-season is just around the corner – yippee! (insert sarcasm font here).
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jersey2[Jersey Girl] Here’s a few tips on how to tell the difference between a Jersey girl and a beached manatee for the few uninitiated locals.
1) Jersey girls usually are a little bigger in the rear than manatees.
2) A manatee is a docile, gentle non-aggressive creature- no one has ever said that about Jersey girls.
3) Manatees don’t smoke or have tats. For Jersey women these are mandatory.
4) Both manatees and Jersey girls have whiskers, but manatee whiskers don’t have food stuck in them.
5) Manatees have flipper-like appendages. Jersey girls have cell phone appendages.
6) Manatees like to have you spray fresh water into their mouths. Don’t ever try this on a Jersey girl (see #7).
7) Manatees are generally not related to mob bosses.
Note that not all Jersey girls fall into these categories, but the 95% who do make the remaining 5% look bad.
The FTR guy was finally on the right track (get it? Right track) about something. If you and your neighbors call in a bug complaint to Mosquito Control they will show up.
[Islam] Every day I’m more amazed at that a hateful and violent religion Islam is. What is the attraction of such a hateful religion?
[Rio Grande Crossing Texas – Entering Illegally] Can you spot the Islamism terrorist in this picture? Neither can anyone else — that’s the plan.
[World Most Wanted Wiener] For an advertisement, this is pretty clever and funny. Video
[“Sales tax at Amazon”] The Florida retailers lobbied to have the FL legislature pass the May 1st law that Amazon must collect sales tax from Floridians. Link
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[Captain Doom and Gloom] I noticed many real estate listings for the Keys have bad information posted on their sites and it is almost impossible to email them to correct it! Trying to sell your property can be jeopardized if the data is not correct. You are paying these agents to do your leg work, but it is useless if they post things wrong! Get them to correct your listing ASAP!
[Immigration Action, Finally] President Obama says he is going to use executive action to deal with what he says is a broken immigration system. “While I will continue to push Republicans to drop excuses and act,” Obama said, “Americans cannot wait forever for them to act.” Link
from the right
tax return2Over two weeks ago Governor Scott and the First Lady voluntarily released their joint tax returns in order to provide complete transparency for all Floridians. It’s the right thing to do. It’s also been over two weeks since they called on Charlie Crist and his spouse to follow their lead. Charlie has released his tax returns, but he and his spouse refuse to release hers, for some reason they file separately.We must consider that as long as there is an ability to transfer money or assets between spouses, then the finances of one are as relevant as the finances of the other. Further, there can be no doubt but that his spouse will influence him should Charlie be elected governor (Heaven Forfend).

We do know that Mrs. Crist is a businesswoman and that she and Charlie share a luxurious condo on Miami’s ultra wealthy and prestigious Fischer’s Island that’s worth about $4 million. Fischer’s island is interesting because Fisher Island, a “census designated place” has the highest per capita income of any place in the US. According the ’10 census, it has only 226 households and a total of population of 132 persons. Poor Ole Charlie is doing pretty good for a guy who lives paycheck to paycheck.


pile of moneyContrary to Charlie’s claim that he is “just common folks”, living from paycheck to paycheck, Charlie has made a big pile of money since he bailed out of the governor’s mansion for greener fields in 2010, (more on the sources of his newfound wealth another day). Charlie has been a Republican, an Independent, and only now that he is a newly minted Democrat, Charlie has more than doubled his net worth, much of that coming from prestigious positions and consulting contracts he received from large political donors. There is absolutely nothing wrong or immoral about accumulating wealth, what matters is how it is accumulated.

According to, Charlie’s net worth now is north of $2 million. His spouse is apparently even more affluent than he.

If you’d like to learn a little more about how “poor ole Charlie” and how makes his bucks, I suggest you read Link

The Governor’s spouse will require security and use of state assets. Charlie Crist has an obligation to the electorate to disclose not only his financial returns but those of his wife to make certain there are no conflicts of interest. Floridians have an expectation of full transparency from candidates that run for governor. Crist needs to follow the example of his predecessors, Republican and Democratic. It’s the right thing to do.