2014 July July

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

Do not hire Joseph Figarelli from Tavernier. Figarelli is a mentally disturbed elderly con man who masquerades as a construction project manager, but hasn’t the fist clue how to do this job. He likes to tout his alleged political connections with Monroe county politicians and sheriffs’ more then his actual work history. We hired him several months ago under these false pretenses and he showed up for his first, and only, day of employment with a couple of sick dogs and spent the day driving around in a company truck looking for medication for these dogs.

When asked to provide some very simple measurements that were needed to order some materials he was completely lost and asked jobsite foreman to do it for him. Even given his obvious misrepresentation we were willing to give him every opportunity to learn, but the next morning he quit. He stated that the job was too far away and he had no one to take care of his dogs. He has since gone to every free internet site he can locally and has posted completely fabricated, slanderous remarks against T.Ryan Contracting and Tim Gould (the owner) personally. Tim Gould has been a Florida state certified roofing contractor for 31 years and has installed the roofs on hundreds of private homes and government buildings. They are in the top 3% of contractors based on the number of very satisfied customers. This is not an easy feat in the difficult roofing business, but every job is personally supervised by the owner, Tim Gould. The Florida Keys are very fortunate to have a contractor of this caliber working in this area. It is a shame that in this day of the Internet age that anyone can make up anything about anybody and post it. I can tell you for a fact that T.Ryan Contracting is a first class operation providing tremendous quality and value to all our customers and Tim Gould is a man of great integrity that I am proud to work for. ~

(Ed: At the request of Mr Ryan I removed the post from Monday’s column).

[“Removing bus stop”] Public transportation in the Keys is a crucial part of the solution to the Keys’ economic, energy, and environmental challenges – helping to bring a better quality of life. In increasing numbers, people are using public transportation and hopefully our Keys will have expanding public transit services. Every segment of our Keys’ society – individuals, families, communities, and businesses benefits from public transportation.  Please make it easy for bus riders.  Yes, I know the derelicts are dirty and drunk, but until you get them all in the guidance clinic to clean up, the Keys will have them.
youre fired
It took the KW Commissioners less than twenty minutes to fire City Manager Bob Vitas for issuing a six-figure contract to a friend without City permission and being a jerk, in general.
From 1984 to 2011 mangrove forests doubled in size at the northern end of their Florida range because things are heating up.
[No Limit To GM Settlement] That’s what they said at BP, but years later BP is fighting tooth and nail for every penny it can reclaim.
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Lost. Galaxy S2 cell phone, white. Sat. night Ramrod Key Shell Station area. Please bring to Annie at Walgreen’s BPK.   7/1/14 Classified Ads > Lost and Found
[No Electric] At 5:35 p.m. Monday all 29,000 Keys Energy customers between Key West and the Seven-Mile Bridge lost power when breakers in the Marathon Electrical Substation opened during a lightning event and had to be reset manually.
[No Limit To GM Settlement] Looks like the families of GM defective car victims hit the jackpot, and will be on Easy Street.
Watch the Moon
approach and then pair with Mars. (The Moon is drawn three times its actual apparent size. It’s positioned for viewers near the middle of North America.)
[“Removing bus stop“] The sheriff’s told us they could not control the homeless and drunks at the Dog Park, but they would fine us if our dogs were not under control and off the leash. Hello! the doges have a license, medical records. This is a dog park first.

And now they say they can’t control a few bums at the bus stop. So we all stand in the Sun and rain. What’s next?

[“Removing bus stop”] If the cops are too lazy to patrol the bus stop to protect the lawful riders, I say get new cops! What do the cops do all day except talk on their cellphones? Now they don’t want to patrol the bus stop so they can have more time on their phones?
[“Cudjoe Key Blimp Site”] In reply to the comment on June 25th asking why the Blimp Site is always looking for guards. You are correct. It is a good place to work with great benefits. The TARS site promotes from within the organization so when someone moves up in the organization, guards included, they need to be replaced. Just recently two employees accepted promotions and moved to one of the other Blimp sites on the U.S. Border with Mexico and, of course, those two positions had to be filled.
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fanci 7-4-14
[Sewer power] Last night we had a power outage. How widespread I do not know, but if we had the pressurized sewer system,  all those sewer pumps would have started at once and the sewage just sitting in the pipes would likely take more pressure to begin moving than the system is designed for, resulting in failure and leaks or worse. Think about how much energy it takes to start moving a mile long freight train as an example. You need to do it slow and steady, not try to ram the thing forward or something’s going to break and spill
[Permits] Does anyone know what would be involved in moving the allowed storage area under my stilt house from the front of the house to the back of the house so I can have two car parking in front? Ripping out the existing block walls and rebuilding them to the rear of the property is a better idea for parking!
chef pizza tossHappy Tuesday from Springer’s Bar and Grill. Today is pizza day! Any menu pizza or 2 topping pizza all day today for $10 (eat in only). Gotta love that.
Wednesday: Chicken Sheppard’s pie
Thursday: Shrimp salad on a Kaiser roll
Friday: Shrimp corn dogs
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.Independence Day is quickly approaching. How about some trivia to test the knowledge in that bean of yours? How many people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776? What date did most sign?

Two people signed the document on July 4th, the first and largest signature being John Hancock, most signed on August 2,1776.

Speaking of Independence Day, Springer’s will be at Big Pine Park for the 4th of July festivities. We will be serving up our delicious BBQ pork sandwiches for $5 with a free drink. So come on out, enjoy a bite and watch the amazing fireworks display. What a way to spend the day. There’s Always Something Special at Springer’s.

honest abe
Brazenly honest Jim Young
is the head of Key West’s Code Enforcement department. Jim is a diligent city employee. Once, he was fired because he was diligent and brazenly honest against bubbas who wanted special treatment. Instead of rolling over, Jim fought it. Eventually, he was reinstated and paid wages and benefits he had lost. Later, he was appointed head of code enforcement.
[“Failed Bat house concept”] Really? I am the poster questioning whether the bat house poster is for real or some diabolical spammer. Again, I have trouble deciphering this stuff. Could the poster be joking? There are no bats down here for all practical purposes. Does the poster really still believe in old, dead, Perky’s failed dream? Confused, I am.
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So how’s that stuff working for you?
[Sales Tax] Does anyone know of why started collecting sales tax on items ordered over the net and delivered to Florida?
[“Bats vs. dogs rabies myth”] Most states in the U.S. now have laws mandating the regular vaccination of dogs and cats. Over the years, these laws have helped to significantly reduce the prominence of the rabies virus in man’s best friend. In 2006, for example, only 0.011 percent of all rabies cases in the U.S. occurred in dogs.

That same year, bats made up an astounding 24 percent of all U.S. wildlife rabies cases. They are also to blame for two out of the three rabies-related deaths in 2006. In fact, bats can take the blame for 28 out of the 37 confirmed cases of rabies in the U.S. since 1995. Not one came from an American dog. Link

seat belt click
[Seat Belts] I’m alive because I chose not to wear my seat belt and was thrown clear and survived. While our children, the “precious future”, get to ride in school busses with no seatbelts because it would be to inconvenient to monitor the little precious ones.
Our elected officials have publicly claimed that we are not smart enough to make the “right” decision so the government will make it for us, said Peter Deutch after the voters overwhelmingly turned down the marine sanctuary.
[Pricing] When you get an ad for computer stuff that retailed for $499.99 and is now selling at ‘discount’ for $49.99, it makes you wonder how much the damn thing costs to manufacture in the first place? Pennies? Their mark-up on items is sickening. Just analyze the materials involved and the time they took to design it. If people knew the base costs of manufacturing an item, the world would revolt and hang the retailers.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
fly fishman
[Angling for Iguanas] How about catching Iguanas by hook and line? Catch and release. Perhaps a piece of banana as bait and nice sharp non-stainless hook. Wait, and when it takes the bait, set the hook and reel it in slowly so as not to break the line and miss out on a good fight! When it is tired enough to grab, then get some nice photos and try to get the hook out (if it swallowed the hook then cut off the line and leave it in). Then release the Iguana so that you might do it again some other day when it is bigger. Any laws against that?
If bimbos like Kimye and other “meat of feet chicks” make a living flashing their cleavage and fat asses, why can’t us guys do the same? We would love to walk around with our goodies hanging out — for money!
[“Hot woman in Jersey’s Atlantic City”] Especially desirable are the hotties with braided arm pit hair and garlic breath.
Don’t forget Uke nite at Coconuts tomorrow at 7pm. Anyone can play! Video
[“Marathon bus stops”] I read the article, seems like a good solution. Not sure why everyone is complaining, just bring an umbrella for the sunshine (liquid or otherwise).
[Sandwich Wars] If I’m not mistaken the subject was where’s the best one found in FL? Now we have more entries from the northeast including RI, MA, CT, NJ, and NY just today. Let them all go to the northeast searching out the best one in FL up there! It makes our wait-in-line here a whole lot shorter.
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shotgun shells smokeIt’s ok for governments to inhumanly kill dumb animals. They do it all the time and we pay them to do it with our taxes. Don’t ask the government if the animals suffer when they are injected with toxic chemicals because they lie and we’ve been brainwashed to believe their lies.
Next, there’s no one around here, police, sheriff, FHP, SWAT, etc that is capable of consistently putting a projectile in an iguanas brain unless the thing was asleep. I’ve been shooting for 65 years, retired 30 year military combat arms, qualified hi expert annually, built target rifles with sub-one half minute accuracy. Loaded target ammo and shot a match in local competition. I’m good, but I couldn’t do it consistently. So my advice is get a 12 gauge!
[Local Jargon] As a local, who doesn’t drink much, when folks refer to the ‘Tiki Bar’ are they talking about the one Oceanside or bayside on Ramrod Key?
[“Beware of roofing contractor”] If that roofing contractor is anything like the roofing contractors in NYC and PHL, I suggest the poster who exposed himself make a trip out of the Keys to some place like Sweden or Mongolia for safety sake! Capisce?
dirty harry gun
What’s with all the 2-handed pistol gripping on TV these days?  I remember when Clint would blow away 4 guys using only one hand.  Come on, it never goes down the way they show it on TV.
[“Sewer permit office“]  for God’s sake people, demand an online site to the Monroe County Permit Office to file and pay for your permits. It is 2014, not 1950! (But do not have the Obama webmasters set it up).
You can’t miss spotting a Miami driver — just look in your rear view, they will be about 4 feet behind you at 55 mph, doing something with an iPhone perched on the wheel in front of them.
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podium soap box[Candidate Forum] Island of Key Largo Federation of Homeowners’ Associations, Inc (IKLFHA). And Tavernier Community Association (TCA) candidate election forum. “Meet the Candidates Election Forum” will begin at 5:30 p.m. July 16, with an hour and a half “meet and greet” opportunity at the
Key Largo Government Center located at MM 102 Bayside.

IKLFHA / TCA will host candidates for the August 26 primary and November 4 general elections. All qualified candidates for the following offices will be invited: Monroe County School Board, Districts, 1, 4 and 5; Monroe County Commissioner, Districts 2 and 4; U.S. Congressional Representative;
Florida State Representative; Mosquito Control, Districts 2 and 5; Key Largo Wastewater Treatment District and Key Largo Fire & Emergency District.
Voters’ registration and party-change deadline is July 28.

Our panel will be Bill Becker, US Radio’s News Director and David Goodhue, Editor for The Reporter, Richard Barreto, President of TCA. Beginning at 7:00 p.m., candidates will introduce themselves and be questioned by the panel.

If any candidate has questions about the event, contact Events

[“Wedding in Marathon”] Hey Ed, I though it was against the law to use foul language like marriage, wedding, engagement, bride, etc, on a public blog?
[“Cellphone privacy”] “NCIS magic computer” It was humor, you twit!
[Cadbury’s Chocolate Can Cause Small Feet] This is a medical warning. Do you eat Cadbury’s chocolate? We were raised on Cadbury’s chocolate as kids and even into adulthood, but I will never eat it again.  This is what happens when you eat Cadbury’s chocolate.
[“NJ fat chicks”] Nice picture of his dream team, or are they his sisters? No the one in the middle is yo mama!
I feel rather sorry for Senator McCain, used to like him before the “Right” got a hold on him. And what was probably more traumatic to him then his years of torture and imprisonment was his campaign people choosing Sarah “Ain’t Got A Clue” Palin for a running mate! I know, I know, I don’t like Reed or “prune face” Pelosi neither, all the old farts need to go………… offense Olde Fhart FTR!
President Obama, please keep using Executive Orders to help ordinary Americans.  Screw those Republican anarchists.
Why does Fox News keep on dragging out Dick Cheney [while shamelessly groveling before him] to pontificate on Obama?  Has not Cheney brought to the people of this Country enough pain, suffering and wasted resources?  Much of it was in the name of the further enrichment of his sainted Halliburton Corporation [It’s people too, you know] which, during the height of the Iraq war, was soaking the American taxpayer $50 for each box lunch served up to our people in Baghdad  [I know it probably cost a lot to ship baloney way over there] .  I do hope there really  was lobster in those lunches.  Anyway, at his age shouldn’t he be off somewhere shotgunning one of his pals or waterboarding somebody, aided by his wonderful daughter Liz?
It looks like the President has just about had it as our fearful leader even within his own crowd. Who is next for that big chair in the oral room? Hillary is a sick chick. The VP is inept. No real important person, man or woman, wants that job. It would take some low life like Christie to make a bid, but we know better now! One egomaniac Manchurian Candidate is enough for this generation. We need a super hero with BIG ONES to let the world know AMERICA IS BACK TO WHAT WE USED TO BE! Or is it too late?
from the right
Try to imagine what life was like here in the Keys before we had Mosquito Control. I remember the “good old days” seeing the Florida Keys Mosquito District’s (FKMCD) DC3’s roaring overhead spewing out vast clouds of white vapor that was supposed to kill the critters. I also remember that it was not too effective. I also remember the chaos and corruption that existed on the board and in the district just 4 years ago. That’s history.

mosquito plane cloudsToday we are served by a modern and increasingly efficient Mosquito Control Board. The FKMCD now has 64 full time employees The FKMCD has an annual operating budget of approximately $10,500,000 in FY 2014. FKMCD now uses 4 helicopters and 2 fixed wing aircraft and more than 40 spray trucks to facilitate mosquito control. They also utilize spraying from off road vehicles and manual spraying from back packs where other means are not effective. They utilize 2 small boats to regularly travel to numerous offshore islands to test and treat for mosquitoes when found.

Controlling the mosquito population in the Keys is a phenomenally complex challenge. The federal regulations that are in place severely constrain the types of chemicals used, the methods in which they can be applied, and even where the chemicals can be applied. The FKMCD must be staffed by highly educated and trained professional personnel.

Phil Goodman has been the FKMCD commissioner for District 2 since May of 2011. Phil has been a resident of the Keys, living on Cudjoe Key, for the last 15 years. He is a degreed chemist from North Carolina State University with an MBA from the University of North Carolina. He has more than 40 years’ experience in the private sector as a successful business man in the global chemical industry.

Phil is very much public service oriented. He serves as an active member of the USCG Auxiliary and a HAZWOPER Instructor. He is an active member in: Key West CERT, Key West Military Affairs Committee, Key West Chamber of Commerce, MOTE Marine Laboratory Advisory Board, Sanctuary Advisory Council and Member and Partner in the Clean Boating Partnership of the Clean Marina Program. He is a Graduate of both Leadership Monroe County and The Key West Academy.

All of that is incredibly impressive, but you might ask, what has he done for us lately. The short answer is a lot.

Since Phil has been in office, the FKMCD has purchased and begun implementing a new software operating system that will allow them to do more with less after its full implementation in FY 2015.

They have reduced non-essential staff through attrition by about 15% in the past three years.   Phil is committed to putting a larger percentage of our tax dollars into killing mosquitoes and less into overhead costs.

The FKMCD operating budget for FY 2014 is $10,500,000, that’s nearly a $2 million DECREASE since Phil took office Through attrition, the number of full time employees is now 64, that’s down from 76 in 2011.

FKMCB is now larvaciding about 20% more acres in 2012-2014 than was done between 2007 and 2011. During the same time period FKMCB is now adulticiding by aircraft about 32% fewer acres and about 56% fewer acres utilizing adulticide spraying by truck. This has resulted in reducing mosquitoes in the lower keys by 10% and in the middle keys by 24%. This trend is an important shift to protect the sensitive environment of the Florida Keys.

an_sprayerFKMCB is not yet allowed to spray any products on Federal lands which also limits their effectiveness with larvacides in the Upper Keys and Ocean Reef. To improve this situation, Phil, and the Board are working with the proper agencies to be able to larvacide on Federal property in the future. Phil expects that progress will be made this year so as to permit spraying on Federal lands. The situation with endangered butterfly species that first halted and now has changed mosquito spraying on Big Pine Key is a good example that this technology trend must continue.

Phil has not voted for any tax increases since joining the board and he believes that we can continue on this course. He believes that the sorely needed new building can be delivered from existing reserves and controlling future costs by using a balance of new technology to offset growing labor costs

Phil Goodman is fully dedicated to public service, his resume and his performance on the FKMCD proves it. We need Phil to continue to serve because he fully understands the importance of effective and efficient mosquito control and its impact on the local economy, the public health and comfort of our residents and visitors, and on our fragile environment. There is still much to be done to continue to improve the performance of FKMCD. Phil Goodman is the person to get it done.

To learn more about FKMCD you can visit the website at You can also use the website to request service or report the presence of mosquitoes. You can also call for information or assistance at 305-289-3700. If the bugs are bugging you, don’t be shy, call them!