2015 March

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

poles00[Greedy Neighbors] Although there is now electricity on No Name Key two families who live on No Name Key, the Newtons and Reynolds, see a chance for some big money and have not dropped their federal lawsuit asking for $10 million in legal fees and damages.

The state and the county had denied power because the low-lying, environmentally sensitive area is prone to flooding and in a federal Coastal Barrier Resource Area, where development is severely restricted.

The  Newtons and Reynolds both knew there was no electricity when they bought their property, but the lure of free money is big for them so they’re continuing the lawsuit.

AT&T is your ISP, not AT&T Yahoo. There is no such ISP as Yahoo. Yahoo is merely a downloaded toolbar that takes up valuable space on your browser and sets your home page to Yahoo nonsense. If you don’t like your home page change it. It’s simple. Also disable the Yahoo toolbar. That’s simple too.

Comcast is faster and very reliable. From your post yesterday, I’m surprised you’re still not using AOL. Ha.

bay boat tarpon belly[“The perfect boat”] There is no perfect boat. All boats’ benefits are give and take. I bought a 21′ bay boat type hull. A bay boat is mix of flats boat and center console — the best of both worlds. It’s a modified vee hull and very good for the shallows. Only one upholstered bolster to rot. It’s 6″ wider than a center console and that makes it extremely stable and very dry and a real smooth ride.
Republican Gov. Rick Scott’s administration ban state environmental scientists from using the terms “climate change” and “global warming” is absurd. Climate change and global warming is not going away just because they are in denial.
FKAA presentation – come join us. Learn the mechanics of decommissioning your septic tank and the permits and costs involved.  A representative from the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority will give a PowerPoint presentation complete with handouts.  Also, for those of you who would like to “convert” your existing septic tank to a cistern system, a detailed plan for that conversion will also be presented.

The presentation will be held at the Lower Keys Property Owners Association building, 1668 Bogie Rd., Big Pine Key (across from the Old Wooden Bridge Marina) on Wednesday, March 25th, at 7 p.m.  Coffee and refreshments will be served.  Mark your calendar now. Events

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[Studio Musicians] ‘The Wrecking Crew’: Trust me, you’ve heard them before. Video
Here we go again the life style of the shell station raise prices raise prices i need to give my son a new car that’s right skinny to cool needs a new BMW ! (ZOO needs 150,00.00 to spend how do i get it) That where you stupid fools come in. And buy cheap water down gas if you figure it out i sell 10,000 gal and over charge those stupid people in big pine that’s extra 4,000.00 dollars each load i tax you >( i call it the lazy stupid person tax) on each one you know 87,to 90 and make sure there is more 15%ethanol 12,000.00 per fill thats the extra charge to you people how many people make that on overtime. Wake up idiots test his gas for rec gas it has ethanol in it to he figures you don’t know won’t hurt him that’s why he lives the life. So lets not buy gas from him he even charge more for his beer and all items then dion’s on that money i wrote about that price is the money he charges for extra that how much more he charges then key west. I think it’s crazy that gas is cheaper in key west than big pine WTF is that after 20 loads thats 80,000.00 dollars he makes now remember he has 3 here that’s not much to do because you love him so help him get his son a new BMW OK!
If the Shell stations want to charge more for gas that’s their business. Don’t do business with them.
dental-chart-headSeen on Route 1 near Big Pine last week: a trailer with “Advanced Equine Dentistry” on the side and a woody (wood sided) convertible. Expiring minds want to know!
What’s wrong with Shallow Sewage Wells in the Florida Keys? Well, do you enjoy seafood, diving or snorkeling, fishing, bird and marine life? We’re about to start swimming in sewage effluent. Our County Commissioners are refusing to pay for a Deep Well to dispose of more than 30 million gallons a month of partially treated sewage effluent. Instead, they want to use four shallow wells cased only to 80 feet into the porous limestone of the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater Treatment Plant.  It will rise to the surface quickly.

The Environment Department has already warned that shallow sewage wells in the Florida Keys are frequently nonfunctioning: “…most shallow wells in the Florida Keys are only operational when the tide is receding. …several plants with shallow wells that do not work.” Key West has a Deep Well. Key Largo has a Deep Well. All of us helped pay for them. Cudjoe Regional needs a Deep Well, too. We’ve already been taxed for it and County Commissioners admit they have the money. Why are they risking our water quality so they can pay for somebody’s pet project?

Come to a Benefit to Help Stop Shallow Sewage Wells in the Florida Keys. The local group, Stop Shallow Sewage Wells in the Florida Keys, is holding a benefit to raise money to stop the shallow sewage wells on Cudjoe Key. They plan a fun event with great prizes, great music, and great people. Sunday, March 22 from 3-6 at the Sugarloaf Lodge Tikki Bar, Mile Marker 17. Live music by Larry Smith and Friends, Silent Auction, Great food, Raffles and 50-50. Local residents and businesses have donated very generously. $10 buys you entrance and a chance at some great give-aways. You can buy tickets on line or at the Benefit for food, drinks, raffles and the knowledge that you’ve helped an important local cause. Details and tickets at Events

plumber maze
[Connecting Sewers] There are not enough plumbers in the Keys to handle all the work that will be needed all at once. That means out of necessity we will have to hire the Plumbers From Hell from Miami who are related to the Roofers From Hell who screwed the victims of Hurricane Andrew so royally.
Some of us wonder if Ed, has a filter button that automatically cuts an idiots post by their email address or by reading certain words in such posts. It would be nice to have a button that sends back a reply to the poster that blows up their freaking computer or cell phone!
[“Hillary’s emails”] Boring. I want to see Bill’s: “Hey, Epstein, gas up the plane, let’s go to Sex Island. I want to be up to my neck in Russian whores!”
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[“AT&T Yahoo as my ISP”
] ATT is your ISP – and Yahoo is your home page. I agree, Yahoo sucks; it takes forever to load and their email is just as bad. Just change your homepage. I don’t know what browser you are using (Internet Explorer, Chrome or Firefox; or god forgive – Netscape with AOL, just kidding!)
You can use any website for a homepage. I use Bing as a homepage. It’s clean, colorful, loads fast and has links to current topics. Or you can use as in theis image form Internet Explorer! Good luck
Big pine people i see you love taking it .We work hard and let the shell gas keeps going up if you boycott buying gas that is sunshine gas which mobile gas is 10 times better for your car ! But the shell gas is not shell he buys cheap gas that is not shell gas it is off brand and charges for shell that’s how Zoo can buy all those things. So help him out to expand his empire and support him in getting more stations to price gouge us more and more.
[Gun Nuts] General Social Survey. A Gallup Poll conducted in 2014 showed that the percentage of Americans with a gun in their home was “44 percent,” yet the GSS survey–also conducted in 2014–reported a figure of “32 percent.” Moreover, while GSS suggests a decline in the number of Americans owning guns since 1985, Gallup shows a historical trend in the opposite direction beginning in 2000.
greenhouse[“Dementia test: What is a green house made from”] Inconclusive based on the lack of evidence. A “green house” is not necessarily a greenhouse. A greenhouse’s glass panes could be painted over with green paint and thus losing it’s greenhouse status (by blocking incoming sunlight) thus be made into a green house. Another failure of the dementia test. Now get off my lawn!
2007 Harley Davidson Sportster 883XL – low mileage (9,900), new battery 6 months ago, rubber motor mounts, fuel injected. No wrecks or drops. Nice bike! Call or text Josh for more info or to come see the bike. I can also text pictures if you would like to see the bike in advance. Asking $4,700. Classified Ads > Autos
[Sewers] My wife called/emailed every company in the book that has anything to do with sewers and plumbing for hook-up estimates. Out of the entire list, only 2 replied with quotes, and one actually came to check our situation! This is going to be fun trying to get hook-ups done in the Keys. What a rip off it is going to be.
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milk-shakeI saw this happen in India. In India everything is so filthy you wouldn’t believe it. The filth was really quite amazing. Even the American hotel chain Days Inn’s carpets were so filthy that I had to put shoes on to go to the bathroom in the night.

After a few weeks there I craved American food and found a Dominos Pizza. It was spotless. Indians, not being used to glass you could see through, walked right into the spotless glass doors. A bunch of European and American tourists would sit on the patio chuckling when the Indians would slam into the doors or glass front.

[Gun Nuts] More than likely, the purported “decline” in gun ownership is due to more than one cause.

1) Gun owners are more cautious today, with D.C. talk of banning popular ammunition calibers and types. Those signed up for Obamacare are likely to have their doctor ask about “a gun in the house”—increasing sensitivity to questions of privacy. “General Social Survey” are less likely to get “straight shooting” to their questions.

2) The number of Illegal and legal aliens has massively diluted the US population, and they are far less likely to answer those questions.

[“Republican Senator: God Is Protecting The Environment”] Evidently he’s not doing a very good job. Oh joy, another holy roller taking my tax money to preach the god thing.
The engineer at the sewers must be a family member to someone County or some were.
car11The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club sponsors the annual Poker Rod Run March 15th, this Sunday at 11am. Automobiles of all types are invited to attend. Many customs, classics, street rods, and conch cruisers will participate. The event starts at Sugarloaf Lodge mm17 and at 3:30 winner will be announced followed by a picnic . A 50/50 and other prizes will be awarded. The cost to participants is $15 and $5 for additional riders also includes the picnic. Youngsters with their parents are welcome to enjoy the cars on display and the fun. The best hand wins $100. For more info Events
[Tax Cheats] Why are our politicians so eager to give a corporation like Balfour Beatty property tax exemptions while the average Joe has to pay full price. The average Joe’s tax dollars will have to be used to make up for what Balfour Beatty doesn’t pay. something is wrong with this whole business.
[“The late 1970s and early 1980s, when about half of Americans told researchers there was a gun in their household”] These days more people are smart enough not to tell anyone.
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cow salt lick drinking[“Dementia test: What do cows drink”] Milk and water usually depending upon species, but not exclusively. Note the word “cows” not cow, not necessarily meaning a single adult female cow that has given birth (which is what a cow is).

The noun cattle (which is treated as a plural and has no singular) encompasses both sexes. The singular, cow, unambiguously means the female, the male being bull. The plural feminine form “cows” is sometimes used colloquially to refer to both sexes collectively.

The adjective applying to cattle in general is usually bovine. The terms “bull”, “cow” and “calf” are also used by extension to denote the sex or age of other large animals, including whales, hippopotamuses, camels, elk and elephants.

If “cows” refer to whales, then they don’t drink milk or even seawater, rather extracting moisture from their food and thus don’t drink in the traditional sense. So the correct answer could be “nothing” and doesn’t demonstrate dementia.

[Spies Like US] It will be nice when we have tiny little street web cams everywhere on Earth that we can access on our PCs
[“Ed says: “The only viewers having trouble are those who have been to this site before. They likely have cookies turned on and are seeing previous postings.”] Not. It’s on your end going by IP or the CT just wasn’t published yesterday. We’ll use a few web proxies the next time, suggest you do the same.
caducis medical
[National Library Of Medicine] Another US Government site you are paying for, so use it! Link
If the Federal MHPI  law is so ironclad  about property taxes then why is the legislature  wanting to pass an unneeded bill , and why has Balfour Beatty / Southeast  entered into pilot agreements with Santa Rosa County FL  (and who knows where else? They have thousands of units in Fl Georgia , Texas  Mississippi, etc and there’s even a “Northeast  Housing”)  And why would the PPV owners of Scott AFB in St Claire County ILL settle a court case in that community’s favor and agree that those properties are NOT exempt? This Federal program was designed and  touted as paying property taxes in numerous DoD  documents and in the RFPs for the various projects , but then they reneged on that promise . ( see Milton FL, Groton CT, Eglin AFB   for example). We pay Federal taxes to support our military , but we need to draw the line on subsidizing these massive for- profit corporations and their lobbyists. It’s un- American and contributing to the decline of the middle class and especially hurtful to those of us in Monroe County and other host communities seeking work force housing and paying ever higher property taxes. The Dod School Impact Aid program pays only 20% of what the actual costs of a student’s education.  Ask John Dick, please
When the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary was first proposed in the late 1980s, the plan faced stiff opposition from local residents and fishermen who were concerned about overzealous fishing restrictions and miles of closed fishing areas. It seems that those concerns were right on target.  Down with the Sanctuary!
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How to disable your webcam and why you should. Link
The Orchid  Fair is over, and it was a rousing success! Thanks to everyone who participated. Thanks also to the weather man who provided absolutely perfect weather.

The meeting this Sunday promises to be an interesting one since our speaker Vern Bloch has never visited us before. We should see a new viewpoint. He will be bringing lots of plants for sale & raffle — but absolutely no phals.

The March newsletter is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

hareens 12.2.14
[“If someone says something that FTR disagrees with FTR says they are lying”] I would love to know who this putz is that keeps knocking FTR and never says anything important himself.
[Sewers] I am wondering if the engineer who designed the sewer system even has a PE license (professional engineer). I have bets with several people that this system will not begin to work properly. It will be interesting to see how many patches and band-aids are required to keep this system running. Guess who will pay for all of this?
fish wagging tails[Fishing Sanctuary] Thank goodness we have some policies with foresight and an electorate that supports them. It’s not surprising that there are individuals who would gripe. If they lived next to a national park, they would feel entitled to cut it down, or fill the Grand Canyon with their trash. Being short sighted, lazy, or selfish doesn’t do any of us any good. I hope the Sanctuaries and other Reserves do increase. The more, the better. Overfishing and destabilization of the ecology will hurt us all. I hope all of Telegraph Readers look forward to fishing in 20+ years time, preferably alongside the next generation. Or at least to see them returning to the dock, with a smile on their face and fish in the box.
I could not read Monday’s CT, even with a re-load/refresh which has worked before when the wrong day’s issue appeared. Tuesday’s CT loaded as usual, and I was able to hit the “Next” button at the bottom to go back to the previous day’s issue that I missed. Since “Next” is actually “Back”, how about adding a Back button so we can see tomorrow’s CT? Hell, we could see the whole rest of the week at one sitting!
[Sanctuary] The post on Monday should be sent to all the commercial fisherman who think the ocean is an endless puddle just made for their profiteering or sporting. My take on these people is, if you are not going to eat it, do not touch it and let it breed.
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yahoo dunce[“I have AT&T Yahoo as my ISP”] You have AT&T as your Internet Service Provider and your browsers homepage has been set to Yahoo version of AT&T, but with that you can chose anything and use email accounts from other providers (Google, Hushmail, etc.). Your slow connection could be from a variety of reasons, AT&T is pumping a lot of data down a old tired POTS line (copper phone cable) and there could be connection and interference issues (phone cable is unshielded thus nearby electrical lines can cause problems). They are responsible for the line until it reaches your utility pole, from there into your house is yours, however they can check remotely if there is any problem to the router/modem.

Comcast provides the fastest Internet connection, however your router/modem and computer also need to be fast and not bulked down with malware or overbloated software. What you need is a trained computer professional to come to your house and evaluate everything, your download speed, your computer speed and check the condition of your router/modem (AT&T can be called to check that) and advise solutions/backup plans etc.

I would get into the business myself except for the fact that people don’t want to pay $35-$60 a hour it requires for a $250 cheap PC loaded with crapware they purchased from OfficeMax, nor willing to take the machine to someone for maintenance once a month for a hour or two to keep it that way. Your only other option is to learn all about computers and investigate methods how to keep them fast and well running yourself. When you purchase a computer the next time, talk to a professional around the time a new Windows version is released (Windows 10 is coming soon) and advise you want a machine that lasts 5-7 or 10 years and have them set one up for you. It’s going to cost more upfront, but it will work for up to 10 years (desktop) or 3-5 (laptop) provided it’s not abused, for maximum return on investment. This is how corporations and businesses make their computing purchasing decisions because downtime and slow machines cost them productivity–money. (Ed: Or you could come to the Computer Club and get it done for free. Events)

When you say “9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans” all I hear is, “There is a bear out there who knows how to use matches”.
The Keys business owners’ dream is to pump up their place and hook a newbie dreamer with a big trust fund or inheritance and a boat load of cash and then kick back.
If this was the Vietnam era the Conservatives would climb up on the anti aircraft gun with Jane Fonda. Im glad to say as a Democrat I would have been just as upset with any Democrat that would have went behind Bushs back and told Iraq to not trust Americas leader. American traitors no matter how you try and spin it. Disgrace of the lowest form
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[Gun Nuts]  I guess it hasn’t dawned on you that, seeing how the current administration is contemplating collecting EVERYONES gun, that perhaps, just maybe,possibly some people denied owning a gun any longer to save the gun czars a trip to their house !
from the right
Deer Friends, no politics today, just some random thought s from an Olde Farte.

toll Matecumbe Key00I’ve been coming to the Keys since about 1949. I was about 10 years old, and my parents would rent an inexpensive (read cheap) cottage for a few days every year. I loved it. Then as a young adult with my own family, we would come to the Keys several times a year trailering a boat and stay in an inexpensive (read cheap) motel three or four times a year as our finances permitted. I really fell in love with the Keys then.

In the mid ‘70’s or so I decided that I wanted to retire to the Keys and began scouring the Keys for property. It wasn’t until ’82 that I found Big Pine, Port Pine Heights, and my own little slice of paradise. I ultimately did retire here and I now love it even more.

One of the many wonders that I’ve found in the Keys is the Coconut Telegraph. It is an amazing piece of work that is the brainchild and love of our Deer Ed. It is read by thousands, not only in the Keys, but nationwide, and even world wide.

deer ed turbanI’ve never seen a single website that has all that the CT has to offer. It has fact, rumor, salacious gossip, nasty innuendo, opinions of all stripes, and even jokes. It announces deaths, benefits, births, even affairs. It is an important piece of thousands of daily lives. Our Deer Ed spends untold hours in providing us with world class graphics and animations. He never seems to be unable to punch up a posting with a graphic that is “right on.”

Many of us know just how hard our Deer Ed works to make the CT an interesting and vibrant publication. Many of know that he devotes hours each day so that you and I can feed our CT Jones. It has to be a labor of love because it does not take Piner to know that our Deer Ed is not making a ton of money on the CT. Just check out the ad rates.

And so I offer a deep doff of the very olde FTR fedora to our Deer Ed. I know that many of us in the CT community, and we are a digital community, will also offer Kudos to our Deer Ed. Just take the time and do it. Thanks. Respectfully submitted.   ~FTR

(Ed: Ain’t he sweet!)