2015 October

Wednesday, October 21, 2015


Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

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What a Wonderful Place

Trees dancing in the breeze
Hawks scooting with such ease
Livin’ on the islands there is no freeze.
May I stay here for a while, please?
Sun’s shining, the water’s warm
Fish everywhere like a swarm
Livin’ in the Florida Keys
May I stay here for a while, please?

[Litter and Dogs] Anyone who owns dogs has got to be pissed off in the Keys!  The only places you can run your dogs at the water are back woods, and little traveled places because dogs are not allowed on most of the beaches.  I live on Little Torch.  The closest dog beach to me is Marathon.  And I mean actual dog beach.  Therefore, I am limited to back roads and secluded places to take them, which would be great if it weren’t for inconsiderate andtrash29 irresponsible people whose only concern is partying and how they feel.  Three times now my dogs have sliced their pads on broken glass left by some moron who can’t even do the simplest task of picking up after himself.  I mean, how hard is it to take out the bottles you brought in? This last time I spent $150 not to mention the pain and suffering my dog had because she needed many stitches in her foot because of some idiot who only thinks about the fun they are having and not what it might cause others.  I know the bottles fit in your car or bag because you brought them it.  At least have the courtesy of bringing them out.

In 5 minutes I collected this much in a 3 foot area. This is ridiculous.

I enjoyed the “Ski Mt. Trashmore” post on Saturday. Few people probably know that the original unlined dump of mostly hazardous incinerator ash and septage was pitched to DEP by the County as intending to be a public park upon close-out.

More County lies, but just as well, it’s just a step or two away from Rocky Flats, Colorado[?].
If you want to see a lot of sales pitches to DEP from engineers, check the old documents (or the new ones!) at the link below. Scroll down to landfill and click. For login, you can just click public login without need of a password. You can sort old to new or new to old by clicking on the document date or received date header. A second click reverses the order. Link



[English vs Scots] The Countess of Buchan, who had crowned Bruce at Scone, and who was one of the party captured at St. Duthoc, received even fouler treatment, by King Edward’s especial orders, being placed in a cage on one of the turrets of Berwick Castle so constructed that she could be seen by all who passed; and in this cruel imprisonment she was kept like a wild beast for seven long years by a Christian king whom his admirers love to hold up as a model of chivalry.

Veteran reunited with plane he piloted. A 100-year-old veteran Army Air Corps pilot, who flew combat missions in the South Pacific during World War II, was reunited with the plane he flew 70 years ago. Video
alien cat attack


[Illegal Aliens] In the last CT there were 3-4 postings about how humans are bad for the planet. Someone really hates mankind or maybe an extraterrestrial wants us off of the planet so they can take over. If it is the former, please lighten up a little and be a little more human. If the latter, get off our planet!

Wanted: 3000 PSI or more pressure washer. No junk please. Contact
Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store; and with beach Bahia Honda00 State Park just down the road it’s a win-win!

Pool at the NUT. Video

One more reason to not use shallow wells for treatment plant effluent disposal. This is from Scientific American:
“When researchers tested wastewater before and after treatment at a Milwaukee-area treatment plant, they found that two drugs- the anti-epileptic carbamazepine and antibiotic ofloxacin- came out at higher concentrations than they went in. The study suggests the microbes that clean our water may also piece some pharmaceuticals back together. Carbamazepine and ofloxacin on average increased by 80 percent and 120 percent, respectively, during the treatment process. Such drugs, and their metabolites (formed as part of the natural biochemical process of degrading and eliminating the compounds), get into the wastewater by people taking them and excreting them. Flushing drugs accounts for some of the levels too. ³Microbes seem to be making pharmaceuticals out of what used to be pharmaceuticals,² said lead author Benjamin Blair, who spearheaded the work as a PhD. student at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Blair is now a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Colorado-Denver. Blair and colleagues found 48 out of 57 pharmaceuticals they were looking for at the South Shore Water Reclamation Facility in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, which serves the greater Milwaukee area.” “Carbamazepine, used as an anti-epileptic drug, impacted the enzymes in gills, livers and muscles of common carp, according to a 2011 study…. Such enzyme changes are indicative of tissue damage and impaired cells. The drug also has been linked ,,, to endocrine disruption and reproductive problems in zebrafish. “


I can’t believe it’s been nearly 3 years since the world ended in 2012!

[World’s Only City-Sanctioned Homeless Camp] Dignity Village in Portland, Oregon is a city-sanctioned homeless camp. In fact, our host Jon Hawkes claims it is the only one of its kind in the world. Organized as a non-profit corporation, the community operates on land owned by the city, but managed by the community itself. The site features a greenhouse, gardens, houses, business enterprises and a free store of donated items, as well as showers and high-speed internet which is open daily for use by anyone in the community. Link


Amazon has a new project called Kindle Scout where you can nominate a book to be published. A new book just added by Big Pine author, Sean Pall, can be found in the Mystery/Thriller section. A good portion of the book takes place here on the island. Let’s show our support for a fellow Piner. It won’t cost you anything to click on and vote for it. Link

[Phony Study] “Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports. The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them. These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,”

Davis Logsdon is a made up person, a non-real person. Link


In 2015, the annual Orionid meteor shower is expected to rain down the greatest number of meteors before dawn on October 21 or 22, with the nod going to October 22. Perhaps as many as 10 to 20 meteors per hour can be seen at this shower’s peak. Link

[Hates Bicyclists] Why should bicycles get any privileges at all? Do they have to study the rules of the road and be tested (they don’t pay any attention to the rules anyway) and pay for the privilege to
operate their wheeled conveyances on the roads. Are they required to have their wheeled conveyance licensed, helping to fund these roads? Are they required to have PIP insurance? Why do they insist on using our roads when we build special paths that we can’t drive on? When they are on our roads they create hazardous conditions for us. All bicyclists operating on public roads should be licensed and have minimum PIP insurance. Also their wheeled conveyance should be registered and plated. No special privileges for those winey bicyclists.


All these people turned out to watch a turtle go in the water. I don’t get it?

My wife brought home low sodium bacon and now I understand what it means when someone says they love you, but they aren’t in love with you.


Painting by Mike Rooney at the Gallery on Green Street.

What’s with this mass exodus from the mid-east? Trying to escape their local problems and bring their misery and problems for others to support and comfort them. Go back to your homelands and take care of your problems. We’ve got enough problems of our own to deal with.
bow-channel-campgroundSomeone else wrote about Bow Channel Campground–cool. To get kicked out by J.W., jeez! I probably knew you back then. I’d say John White ran a history making place, though none of us were aware of it at the time. We always take youth and good times for granted. Do you remember “Little Jim” Maddox, lived in one of the house trailers, walked with crutches, in his 70’s, gray beard. He was always in the store on Friday nights; or was Sat night the big night?
Heading shrimp at Singleton shrimp on Stock Island was the only work I could get at first. What was the name of the Cuban club next to Reds Auto Body on Big Coppitt. Bobs used motorcycle parts, Bob riding his H-D servicar. Mangrove Mamas still there? I wonder if the same guy owns it, I swear he lived at Bow Channel for a while, he opened it in 1979 was it? Sometimes I think a reunion of people who lived there back then would be fun, but then that’s just nostalgia for the old days, reunions are often better imagined than in reality. I don’t do Facebook and all that so if there’s something out there with Bow Channel Campground, I can’t find it. Google brings nothing, but it did bring this site!
[Bike Trail Progress] Hi, from a snowbird. I’m wondering how the bike path from BPK to KW is coming? What percent complete?  Is there an entire section finished that’s at least 15 miles?
fishing man woman[Free Sporting App] Buying state fishing and hunting licenses has never been easier with the new Fish-Hunt-FL application for Android, Apple and Windows smartphone devices. The interactive app gives fishermen and hunters easy access to purchasing any recreational fishing or hunting license offered by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC). Anglers and hunters can check out recent FWC news, look at the current sunrise/sunset times, check the coastal waters forecasts and look up hunting and fishing regulations. Search “FWC” in the Apple iTunes App Store or Google Play to find the app and download it for free. Link
Dear Beloved Peace of the lord is with you. With heavy tears in my eyes and great sorrow in my heart, My apology for sending you this information  by e-mail instead of a Certified/Post-mail. I decided to contact you for assistance and distribution of my inheritance after going through your profile. My name is Mrs. Jennifer Sarah Jiwoo Ali a dying woman who have been exposed to a violent incident of a bomb blast that affected my hearing ability and damage to my brain which the Doctor has told me will stop full functioning very soon and also been diagnosed for cancer. I have requested for (euthanasia) the act or practice of ending the life of myself which was also declined…bla, bla, bla


[Pumpkin Patch] St. Peters Church 3100 Overseas Hwy. Big Pine 10am to Dusk. They also have daily readings for the kids.  305-872-2537

Now that the mega hamburger chain has come out with all day breakfast, when the hell are they going to come out with all day hamburgers! I mean, if an egg McMuffin isn’t just for breakfast anymore, shouldn’t a Big Mac not be just for lunch either?
refugee1[Sarcasm] The Navy today intercepted a boatload of people off the Texas coast. This confounded the Navy as the boat was not heading to the USA, but towards Mexico and Central America.  Adding to the dilemma, the boat was filled with white American seniors.  They claim that they were trying to reach Mexico or Central America and that they planned to return to the US as illegal immigrants. Then they would be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate American retirees. It is reported that the Navy gave them food and water and assisted them on their journey.
A History of the Moody Blues. Video
exploding bomb fuse


[Faith] If creation started with the big bang – who lit the fuse?

Toy car that can reach 70 mph. Could you imagine driving over 7 Mile Bridge in this? Video
guggenheim5[Spies Like Us] I received a forwarded email today with geography questions. One was “What is the most photographed place in the U.S.?” The answer is the Guggenheim building in New York. Photos have always told stories, but in today’s world of cell phone cameras and social media, that story is relayed as data to companies who monitor everything we do. Geotagged data was culled by Sightsmap using a Google-based image sharing software, and can show us the most photographed places in the world, right down to this landmark. The strange winner is this building in New York City. Guess it impresses a lot of visitors.
Wanted: Taxidermy fish. Contact
an_bus_greyhd_lgtsWhat is wrong with our county government with regard to the local transportation here? Don’t they understand that the bus line is not here to make money,  but to get people to work, school, shopping, tourism, etc? I was so embarrassed to see a young one waiting’ on Cudjoe or Ramrod in the rain, trying to get to school with his books and just getting poured on. I meet visitors to our islands daily from all over the world, doing my direct retail sales. It is so disheartening to hear how we tout this county as an international tourist destination and yet they look at us like a third world place. The local government has the attitude that bus shelters are an  eye-sore, yet the visitors I talk with tell me that when they see bus-stop shelters in an area, they are comforted to know that there is good public transportation system.

Then what’s up with all the DOT signs that are so redundant and unnecessary? And why does the lower Keys bus only come by every 2 hours?

When you’re afraid of the dark all the darkness looks alive.
comcast-Xfinity[Sneaky Price Increase] Comcast just informed me that my rate is going up because I used over 300 Gb of data this month. We’re powerless to do anything about it. 300 Gb? I don’t know how, because it is just my wife and I and we watch maybe one or two YouTube videos a day, if that. Someday Comcast’s greed will catch up to them. Until that time comes we’re all victims of Comcast
Last week FKAA had 10 blowouts of the 36″ diameter high pressure water transmission main that carries water from Florida City to Marathon! You may have read about the two on Grassy Key. The pipe size drops to 24″ after Marathon. There were a lot of really exhausted and sore FKAA service people getting home after midnight and then back at work a few hours later for the next blowout. Thanks to their responsibility, dedication, skills, and hard work, the reserve storage tanks did not run out and you may not have known there was a problem. They are to be commended.

Meanwhile, morale at FKAA is probably at an all-time low thanks to changes made by FKAA executives over the last few years. The people that actually do the work instead of just counting the money are not feeling appreciated at all. That to me is more bad management. Show some love to the FKAA men and women that keep your water flowing.

bacteria germ

None of Winn Dixie’s deli workers have a food handler’s permit/license. What’s up with that?

[Veterans] Florida state statute, 205.171, states that any honorably discharged disabled vet, who is a resident and voter shall be given a local business license. The disability does not have to be service related.  Read it, it’s our right. Link
body-odor6[Better To Stink] “Soap is damaging to your health.” NBC News Monday morning 10/19/15 reported that it has been determined that soap strips away natural layers of oils that protect against bacteria. You should only use soap on 2 spots on your body. Oh my!
Stephen Frink is an esteemed underwater photographer up in Key Largo. He is also a very cute Taurus. He runs expensive scuba trips as well. His 2nd wife passed last month and it is on the Down Low, so please disregard the sympathy note on the Coconut Telegraph unless it is anonymous and not to his attention. Link
star fish

Our licensed business is at the Big Pine Flea Market. We sell Atocha coins, local pirates sea glass jewelry, and dip real sand dollars and star fish and leaves in 24k gold and sterling, All made local in USA since the 1980s

I guess the FKAA overestimated the cost of the deep well, as they kept saying it would cost 7 million, but the bids have come out at 4,3 and 4.7 million, as I believe I heard on the radio. More fearmongering perhaps? At any rate they were wrong–again.

The right thing now is to forget about the shallow wells completely and put in a second deep well. Perhaps there would be an economy of scale to have them both done by the same bidder at the same time. Certainly there’s no doubt in most educated people that the FKAA study was seriously flawed and did not address the concerns raised by the first study done by Dr Brecenio. Having two deep wells would be a win – win for everyone. It might even be close to the 7 million cost estimate we were initially given by FKAA for just one well.

I sure hope FKAA and BOCC consider this a chance to make it right.

doctor frankenstein


We can now edit our DNA. “But let’s do it wisely.” No way. There’s a mad scientist out there who will abuse it. Link

Every month the KW Orchid Society meets with guest speakers from the orchid community throughout Florida as our guest speakers; we send notices of these talk to you and would like an update on this, i.e. how far in advance do you need, format, etc so we can conform to your requirements; our Nov speaker is Dr Martin Motes, a world famous lecturer and grower who has a great following; we want to get the word out to the community and welcome your feedback.

Thank you, Marie Geranian, VP KWOS;, 305-509-7744

[“Eunuch reporting”] Have a good life, but remember it is politics and the rest of us realists that give you your freedom to have that good life. If you stick your head in the sand someone will surly mount your rump. But it is probably much more fun sitting at your fav bar bitching and moaning about why you are not a millionaire, right?
zombies slot machine

Investing in the stock market is nothing but pure gambling that one person’s idea to get rich is another’s downfall financially. The only winner in this con game, are the brokers and their handlers. Want to make money? Grow food and sell it. Build a fresh water from sea water plant and sell it. Build a free electric fusion generator and sell the electric.

[Boondocks Variance Request Denied] In their Notice of Violation dated July 13th 2015 the Monroe County Department of Health estimated Boondocks Bar and Grille’s daily maximum water flow to be 8,280 gallons per day and wrote “Due to the addition of additional seating, Florida Statutes place your establishment in the jurisdiction of the Florida Department of Environmental Protection.” With the support of the County Health Department the owners of Boondocks requested a variance which would allow them to use calculated flow numbers rather than the table required by F.A.C. 64E-6.

On October 1st Variance Review and Advisory Committee in Gainesville, FL recommended denial to the State Health Officer with a 4-3 vote. By law the denial of the variance mandates that the property is a sanitary nuisance and it is currently under the jurisdiction of the Department of Environmental Protection.

Boondocks has expanded over several years from a bar to an entertainment complex but the Department of Health never required them to upgrade from a septic tank and leach field. They installed a 300 gpd system with a shallow well for the golf course, paved over the leach field and connected the restaurant to the shallow well.

There are a lot of good people who work at Boondocks and depend on their job to support their family. The property has been in violation for five years contributing nearly 2,000 gallons of improperly treated wastewater into the environment daily. The simple calculation of 2,000 gallons per day multiplied by 365 days then by five years comes to 3.65 Million gallons of untreated or improperly treated wastewater has been released into the environment.

The property spilled 2,000 gallons yesterday, will spill 2,000 gallons today and possibly another 1.46 million gallons if allowed to continue until connected.

cormorant-flying00[Smart Birds] On this windy, windy morning I had a passive learning experience (those are so much nicer than the “hard knocks” kind). I watched as an Anhinga flapped furiously directly into the wind, barely making headway and occasionally pushed backward. Once across the highway, and no doubt exhausted, he dropped altitude into a wooded area to catch his breath. Just past him, another Anhinga set his wings just right and effortlessly tacked into the wind at an angle like a sailboat, making impressive speed without flapping at all. Same conditions, but a radically different experience for these two birds! I saw the same thing with other birds afterward, so these two were not unique
[Sharing Ideas] I get a lot of email from many different people who each have their ideas of how this planet should be run. They display those ideas in their replies on a subject or by direct statements initiating their thoughts. It never ceases to amaze me how their minds are so different. Some love the President, others hate him. Some see Hillary as a God send, some as the end of our republic. Religion and Politics are never supposed to be talked about in a tavern or in church or on this Coconut Telegraph, but email vents people’s mental pressures without having to make eye contact. Texting does exactly the same thing at 60 MPH! Both work to make people communicate much more than the old telephone or letter did, and it keeps the individual private from the other. What is going to happen then they turn off the electric?


[Taking A Leak] In the single week ending October 16th, FKAA experienced about a two year ration of big watermain breaks. A pressure spike could do that, but these were spread out in time and somewhat in location. No big spikes showed on the records. They repaired and recovered in time to keep most taps flowing, but don’t count on it. There are numerous reasons why you should not count on a steady water or electric supply. We’ve been lucky, but don’t wait for a hurricane threat to build a cache of water.

[Windows Updates] There is an old bug going around that eats your old OS. If you cannot get Windows updates to work you might have it. Read this Microsoft link. Link
snail balloon birthday

The public is invited to United States Marine Corps’ 240th birthday celebration Nov. 10, at 6 p.m., at American Legion Post 333. The yearly anniversary celebration features a traditional ball and cake-cutting ceremonies across the nation, and the local event offers much of the same. American Legion Post 333 is located at 2 Seagate Blvd., Key Largo. For information, call 305- 900-7530.

[2d Amendment] A 6 year old shot and killed a 3 year old in Chicago. “If the 3 year old had been armed this wouldn’t have happened.” Do Republicans ever listen to themselves? Link
help wanted sm[Help Wanted] Laborer. Cudjoe Key Blimp site has an opening for full-time Laborer. Applicant must be drug free, self-starter, and be physically fit.  All shifts to include nights, weekends and holidays. E-mail resume to
I just received my FKAA threat to ‘hook-up’ by 16 November 2015. Ok. I have to hook up to make them rich, I understand that, but what I do not understand is how come they only give me about a month to find some semi-inept pipe bender to do this? My wife had called nine or more plumbers for estimates. One showed up on site, three just called with a guesstimate and the rest we never heard from. So with that in my wallet, and the FKAA breathing fire for profit down my neck, what is my recourse? Trying to get the whole block to agree on one hookup company for a sane price per home is out of the question. Idiots all! I just hate to see my check for some un-Godly amount go out my door to some semi-intelligent pipe bender that only worked half a day to hook up my house.


United Way of the Florida Keys Advisory Board member Andy Griffiths has been elected to a three-year term as a Board member for United Way of Florida. Griffiths served for seven years on the United Way of the Florida Keys Board, including two years as Chair, before moving to the UWFK Advisory Board in July. He said he is looking forward to the challenge of helping to set policy for the statewide United Way

Buying junk made in Communist China helps them build their military. Please buy stuff made in U.S.A. Why not buy better made stuff and support American business. Don’t send your money to China keep it in USA.


[MRI] I actually had this happen to me at the hospital in Miami. While the main guy threw darts in my back, the assistant sat and played Nintendo! It was brutal.

[Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: Social n. The huggy crap losers want to inflict on everybody else!
DEF: Individual n, A person who needs no one else to bother.
DEF: Groupie n, A person who almost needs glasses.
DEF: Diver n, Someone who like to swim in fish piss.
DEF: Meatball n. A Sweat coated food from a sweaty cook.
DEF: Spaghetti n, A string of fat that you would never eat if it was round.
DEF: Bread n, The same stuff fed to cows and sheep but baked.
DEF: Military n, A disorganized group of insane killers and profiteers.
DEF: Jewed n, The destruction of companies by inept greedy bastards.
DEF: Designer-babies n, What rejected mutant boomers have to stoop to.
DEF: Canada n, A place that was great and will become ungreat shortly.
DEF: Israel n, The first act of the Barnum & Baily Circus.
DEF: America n, That which was once a great nation that became a wasteland of idiots.
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