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Published on Tuesdays and Fridays.
(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)
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| A visit to dog college. From disaster response to disease detection, these canines choose their own career paths. Video |
 [IPA vs Lager] The most popular type of craft beer is the India Pale Ale (IPA), known for its strong hop flavor and aromatic qualities. The reason why every craft brewer makes it is because it is so easy. People think even mistakes taste good. Anyone can make a good IPA the first time they try. But no one can make a good larger, with it’s clean, clear, sparkly taste and mild flavor. Pale lager is the most widely consumed and commercially available style of beer and the most difficult to make. Only large breweries make great lagers. It’s really hard to make a great lager. Look at Carlsberg beer, they’ve been making larger since 1847 and it still tastes like old socks. |
| [Smuggler Boat Found] Chinese migrants picked up in Gables were headed to Orlando, man tells feds. Video |
 [Cocaine] Conservation volunteers traveled to the Keys expecting to clean up trash. They found cocaine!A group of high school students from Missouri gathers around a 2.5-pound brick of cocaine Monday, Jan. 29, 2024, they found while volunteering with the Conch Republic Marine Army, a conservation group that cleans trash on the water and shoreline in the Florida Keys. Link |
| [Pet Peeve Department] When I receive a message from someone, why in hell can’t they wait about 10 or 15 seconds to see if I am going to reply? Nope, they send it then disappear for hours. Can’t they wait a damned second? Too God damned self-centered about themselves and to Hell about anyone else’s schedule. They can kiss my arse! |
 [Federal Taxes] My wife made $90,000 last year and paid $30,000 in Federal Tax (she doesn’t cheat). Elon Musk paid $0. How can she pay less? Is there someone in the Keys she can go to who can show her how she can legally reduce her Federal Taxes? (Me, I cheat and pay nothing). She uses Rosasco Accounting, but they are just bookkeepers and they don’t seem try very hard to reduce her tax bill. Is there a tax lawyer around here that might help her? Or a CPA who actually prepares her taxes and not just signs the return? |
| [Friday Joke] Wife: I had a dream last night I was eating a romantic dinner at a swanky restaurant for Valentine’s Day. Me: I had a dream I was making love to 3 women. Wife: Was I there? Me: No, you were out eating a romantic dinner at some swanky restaurant. |
 Books that show your love these Valentine days. It’s quite a good list. Link |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] I tell you one thing; I’ve lost faith in all forms of government. Seems like anything organized by men turns into some form of greedy corruption. Like the old farmer said, “I grow the wheat to make the flower, milk my cows to mix the dough, cut the wood to heat the oven and work my ass off to buy the bread at the freaking market. What did I do wrong? I let others control me. |
 [Top Causes of Eye Problems] Most people have eye problems at one time or another. Some are minor and will go away on their own, or are easy to treat at home. Others need a specialist’s care. Link |
| Orangutan observed using a plant to treat an open wound. It’s the first time this behavior was observed in the animal world. Video |
 This 82-year-old former Alabama practicing attorney, who clerked for a United States District Judge in Birmingham, begins this discussion by saying my first wife had two miscarriages, and then she gave birth to a boy child, who at 7 weeks died of sudden infant death syndrome, which in those days was called crib death. While she was quite upset over the miscarriages, as was I, she was devastated over our son dying, as was I. So perhaps even the most sincere pro-lifers can appreciate that my first wife and I view a child dying very differently from a miscarriage or an abortion.I wonder if physicians ever consider “First Do No Harm” is a booby trap when it comes to abortion? ~sloanbashinsky@yahoo.com |
| [Sub Implosion] Listen to chilling underwater audio of the OceanGate ‘Titan’ implosion. The controversial submersible’s catastrophic failure killed five passengers en route to the Titanic. Audio |
 Always keep a few zip ties in your car to use on those inconsiderate bastards who park in 2 spots. |
| [Old Bones] The Thames River is filled with human bones, but no one knows exactly why. Was it some sort of ritual—or something bloodier? Link |
 [No More Pennies] Trump wrote. “I have instructed my Secretary of the US Treasury to stop producing new pennies.”They cost the US Mint 3.69 cents to make a penny. No one uses them. We all put them in a jar on a shelf causing a yearly shortfall, forcing the Mint to make more each year. Credit charges should still honor the penny, but cash transactions should be rounded off to the nearest nickel. That’s what Canada has been doing since they got rid of their pennies in 2012. The US Department of Defense stopped using pennies at its overseas bases in 1980 because it became too expensive to ship them. |
| [Friday Joke] A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband’s temper. The Doctor asks: “What’s the problem?” The woman says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.” The Doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.” Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. The woman says, “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?” The Doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick”. |
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| I didn’t get my wife a card for Valentine’s Day because she didn’t get me anything for the last couple of years so I figured we weren’t celebrating. Mistake. Now she’s not speaking to me. Women! |
 [Abortion] What if a pregnant patient was raped? Or her fetus is defective? Or she is being beaten up by her fetus’s father, and she doesn’t want to be with him or have his baby, which will bind her to him for the rest of her life? Or the father of her fetus abandoned her and her fetus, and she doesn’t want to take his fetus to term and have to look after it? Or she is an alcoholic or other kind of drug addict and so is her fetus? Or she is a prostitute and doesn’t want to bring a baby into this world to be raised by a prostitute? Or she is barely able to make ends meet? Or she is homeless and cannot care for a baby? Or she is psychologically deranged and will be a horrible mother? Or she knows America is FUBAR and getting worse, and she does not want to bring a baby into that?Which is the greater harm, abortion of the fetus or doing nothing? That said, do pro-lifers ever offer to adopt a pregnant woman’s unwanted fetus? Do pro-lifers ever offer to adopt a mother’s unwanted new baby? Do pro-lifers ever offer to financially support a pregnant woman and her unwanted baby? Do pro-lifers ever wonder why there are so many welfare mothers and babies? Do pro-lifers ever wonder why there are so many abused women? Do pro-lifers ever wonder why there are so many abused children? Do pro-lifers ever wonder why there are so many alcoholics and other kinds of drug addicts? Do pro-lifers ever consider they felt murdered when they were children and that is what causes them to rail against abortion, which does not affect them personally and is none of their fucking business? |
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 Parking at the Marathon Publix’s was at a premium for the Valentine sale. |
| [NYSE Texas] The New York Stock Exchange, part of Intercontinental Exchange, Inc. (NYSE: ICE), a leading global provider of technology and data, today announced plans to launch NYSE Texas, a fully electronic equities exchange, headquartered in Dallas, Texas. Pending the effectiveness of regulatory filings, NYSE Chicago will reincorporate in Texas and be renamed NYSE Texas, offering companies the opportunity to list their securities on NYSE Texas. Link |
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 [Friday Joke] This morning at about 7:45, I was in a long line at a grocery store that opens at 8:00 for senior citizens only.A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane. He returned and tried to cut in again, but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away. As he approached the line for the third time he said, “Look, if you don’t let me unlock the damn door you’re never going to get in there!” |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 2/14/25 at 8:10 am. |
  Electric hoist (440 lbs lift/120V) crane overhead garage winch remote control auto lift. YT-100/200KG $120.77 new. 2 years old. For sale $50. Pick up on Big Pine Key. B33043@outlook.com |
[Antique Olea Sancta] Catholic Church holy oil tabernacle 10+ years-old. hand carves oak. $200 More pictures |
 Barber Shop business for sale. Marathon area. Well established with good following. 11K. $2800/mo rent. Water and electric included. Serious inquiries only. Email: CSGIMBinPARADISE@bellsouth.net |
 [Adult Tricycle] Three-wheel trike bike. (Gray, 26″) Single speed. Hybrid cargo cruiser with removable wheeled basket for shopping or dogs. Exercise bike for men or women. Bicycle bell. Cable bike lock. (New $299.99 +tx = $320.99 Oct 2021). For sale now on Big Pine Key $150. Excellent condition, low milage. Only driven on Sundays. b33043@outlook.com |
 [Steel Jack Stands] NEW. 6,000 lb or 3 Ton Capacity, 1 Pair, Black and Red. New $35.88. For sale $20 for both. Never used. Link contact:b33043@outlook.com |
 [Floor Jack] NEW. BIG RED T82002-BR Torin Hydraulic Trolley Service/Floor Jack, 2 Ton (4,000 lb) Capacity, Red $46.79. For sale price $25. (Big Pine Key) New, never used. Link Contact: b33043@outlook.com |