2017 August Uncategorized

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002
Published Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.

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Why does the Sheriff’s helicopter insist on flying several hundred feet off US 1 instead of over it? This places the racket over residential areas instead of over already noisy US 1. Also, if it was over the highway, maybe they could spot some of the hyped-up Miami morons using the center turn lane to pass, and other such dangerously idiotic driving.
I can understand the low altitude of the Trauma Star medical helicopter avoiding lower pressure altitude complications, but again, why are they not following US 1? All that low flying chopper noise must be triggering PTSD flashbacks in war veterans and is very disturbing to anyone. Why turn “paradise” into a war zone atmosphere? If the chopper wants to follow the straightest path, gain some altitude and take the noise with you.
I have been looking at used vehicles and checked some in Key West that had very low miles, comparatively low prices and about 7-10 years old(post Wilma). What I was finding are cars that apparently had spent their entire lives driving in KW. And it showed when I looked closely. Sure, it’s only got 17,000 miles on it, but it’s never been over 45 mph, spent it’s life in a salty ocean breeze, spent about half the running time idling at traffic lights in Drive overheating the transmission oil, and has never had the internal timing belt and water pump changed in its 9 year life, although the service records show the similar but easy to access AC and alternator belt was replaced a few years ago when it was rotting. It has 2 of the original tires- age rotten, no doubt like the timing belt that will cost $900 to replace if a bolt doesn’t break and double the price. Low miles sure isn’t everything. It could be taxicab service with low miles- many hours running, but mostly idling. Taxis are legally required to disclose that service on the title transfer, but that won’t be happening with Uber or Lyft vehicles, nor with privately owned cars under contract to a taxi company. Five years old, low miles and worn out.



Wetstock 13 is this Sunday coming!

Why in the world didn’t they evacuate Houston knowing there’d be such a giant storm?  What a nightmare. Just watching coverage makes me sick. There should be a class action lawsuit as they did not declare a mandatory evacuation. How stupid.

We were stuck in Lower Keys as Wilma crept up real fast and thankfully was not as devastating as Harvey is. If I could re-do that we would have evacuated. Hope the few nice people of the Keys take this as a warning and always evacuate and take all of your pets with you–including your husbands!  There are lots of storms brewing and you should really and truly be ready to bolt. Not a big deal. Leave your vessels and have them insured. Just do not stay thru a hurricane. Why are people so dumb?


[Florida DOT] Are you paying attention to all of the damaged signs in the Texas hurricane pictures? You do realize that a significant percentage of the excess signs on US1 are going to be missiles during the next big wind event in the Keys, right?  Please get rid of extraneous, non-essential signage!

[The Real Lone Ranger] Your laugh of the day – I promise. Video
[Beer Review] Kudos to Bistro 31 on the $12 liver & onions special on Sunday and especially for the $2 bottles of beer that even included craft beers! If you like hoppy India Pale Ale, then you will love Bistro’s long list, which may even be a bigger selection than the excellent choices at Kiki’s Sandbar, but lots cheaper because there is no awesome view (except for sweet Melissa). Bistro is calling Barrel of Monks an IPA, but it clearly isn’t. I think it tastes like an especially good root beer. In similar fashion, Looe Key Tiki calls Night Swim an IPA, but it is really a chocolate Porter. Oberon is also called an IPA there but it is a standard ale, and a good one.. An excellent IPA at Bistro is Elysian Spacedust, which is a recent addition to their choices.
Deer Ed, I have been terribly remiss in not letting you know how much I appreciate and enjoy the recipe section of For at least the past 10 years I have on a regular basis been making your outstanding Key West Picadillo. I also use your split pea soup, big sister’s banana bread and your baked crispy potato recipes. (Now if you could just figure out the Vegan Dream cookie recipe Jen at Deer Run B&B uses. I would love you forever!)  Link

Thanks again for taking the time to include tried and true recipes and for all you do on the website itself.  ~Lee Ann Carter
(Ed: [Thanks, you’re you my new favorite person. ha.] I’m glad someone likes some of these recipies. I seldom cook deserts because I’m too fat and addicted to sweets, yum, so I don’t cook too many sweets. Recipies

[Geography Quiz ] Only a true American can pass this geography quiz. are you up for the challenge? Link
Big Pine Key Winn Dixie’s Weekly Ad
[Marathon Dive Report and Sewer Mess] I have been diving off Marathon since 1991, and have collected some great GPS numbers. Sunday, I decided to see if my old hot spots for lobster and grouper were holding more big bugs than around Big Pine does. I motored out to a spot we call 5 Groupers, which was named when the fishery was not so restricted. The water was pretty green, but you don’t need a lot of visibility to hunt lobsters on this low relief patch with some big rocks on the west side. I dropped anchor on the number and briskly pulled myself down the anchor line through the heavily particulated water. I almost hit the bottom because I couldn’t see a thing! Visibility was only about 30 inches (not feet).
I have seen poor visibility on this reef, but this is an all time record worst. What I could see of the reef was well coated in algae too.

Marathon issued sewer notices to connect in about 2009 and their reef water quality has deteriorated quickly since. An EPA funded research report some years ago concluded that septic tank effluent nutrients had no possibility of reaching the reef. Other studies of treatment plant discharges to shallow wells traced them rising into open water up to several miles away. I blame the absolutely rotten water quality off Marathon to their central wastewater collection & treatment coupled with their use of shallow-well disposal. This was always about money and development density rather than the impact of septic tank treatment. Let’s not forget the massive injection of County and Marathon tax money into increasing Pigeon Key’s visitation, while allotting zero dollars to eliminate the cesspit all those visitors use there. See where the priorities are?



Boat for sale.  Half price.  Needs some work.  See on Big Pine Key

Another sure sign that the apocalypse is upon us:  there is now a hotline number for self-tanning emergencies.
Cats probably think we are cleaning our ice cream.



Apparently being a fork lift operator at a boatyard is a lot of fun.

Don’t Be a Sucker” is a short film produced by the United States War Department released in 1947, adapted from an earlier, longer version from 1943. It has anti-racist and anti-fascist themes. It’s sad that in 70 years almost nothing has changed. Video
The first submarine ever credited with sinking an enemy ship was the Confederate navy’s H.L.Hunley, which, during the American Civil War, sank the Union navy’s frigate, the Housatonic. The Hunley propelled by a crew of eight using hand cranks to turn its propeller, approached the Housatonic after dark, carrying a large cache of explosives at the end of a thirty-foot spar jutting from its bow. The explosion destroyed the frigate; it also sank the Hunley, which disappeared with all hands. This fate was more or less foretold, however. During trials before its launch, the Hunley had foundered three times, killing three crews, twenty-three men in all.
[Marathon] If George Garrett is talking about reworking Land Development Regulations dealing with parking on vacant lots, I hope he will clarify which vacant lots he is talking about. Vacant lots next to Sunset Grille would seem to be one case but are there others and if so, which others?

This notion that when the City of Marathon incorporated and formed its laws, it was liberal in grandfathering existing uses into its new code is simply not true. The law is clear and supersedes this idea that you would need a liberal grandfathering interpretation for anything the City of Marathon has done in forming any of its laws. If anything, the City of Marathon liberalized its Codes and Zoning from the previous Monroe County laws and I can not name or point to one case where the City of Marathon liberally grandfathered anything as was implied in this article. This notion is totally false, untrue and misleading!

The statement that the City of Marathon’s “interpretations have benefited business” is more than misleading, it is inaccurate! It did not benefit Publix in their denial based on parking and the subsequent 10 year delay in getting their liquor store approval. It did not benefit Walgreens when the City’s Planning Commission voted down its request for a beer and wine license under false pretenses. It did not benefit the Ardalino Estate/Overseas Liquors when the City of Marathon misapplied their 1500 rule against them. It did not benefit Claude Haliova at Lulu’s Garden Grille and again at Tritons Bar & Restaurant when the City required him to delineate every single one of his parking spaces. And, it didn’t benefit the Sunset Grille when Michelle Coldiron targeted them from her City Council seat during her failed personal lawsuit against them. Of course the Chaplins benefited when the City first broke their zoning code allowing a commercial use in a residential neighborhood for their Chappy’s Bar & Restaurant. Mike Cinque and his Stuffed Pig benefited when he was allowed to expand his seating with no parking what so-ever and then again when he was awarded a liquor license by the City, also with no parking requirement. And certainly Ralph Lucignano received benefits from the City of Marathon in his 2011 reduced parking agreement allowing him to add his Plaza Grill (an increased intensity of use) to an area that clearly already had a parking problem. Interesting how one single sentence can be so very misleading and so very wrong!

Of course the City has tried to bring older businesses that renovate into compliance, in theory, but not in any reality. The City has a history of not enforcing anything and that is why we are having problems today. When the City requires someone like Mike Cinque to submit a parking plan not once but twice and does not require either to be implemented that is a problem that may actually be criminal in nature. When the City of Marathon cuts a deal with someone like Ralph Lucignano and Lucignano does not uphold his side of the agreement then that is wrong, but when the City knows this is the case and does nothing for years when reported then that makes the City a co-conspirator in what appears to me to be a form an ongoing criminal activity.

The problem goes much deeper than just Parking in the City of Marathon, but Parking is where this is going to apparently have to start changing. If our City will finally address their growing parking problem, the maybe, just maybe we can begin to talk about and address our other problems. It is my hope that Marathon will be returned back to the People as opposed to the connected, the guilty and the criminally stupid. Let’s start with parking!  ~Bruce Schmitt

My wife had her credit cards taken from her purse two months ago.  Last night she asked, “Why haven’t you reported my lost credit cards yet?”  I said, “Because the thief is spending less money than you did.”  That’s when the fight started.
[Recipe Section] Deer Ed, I’m a faithful reader and although I’ve seen recipes posted, I’ve never looked through the recipe section.

I assume you make your own yogurt? I might add that I freeze an ice cube tray of plain yogurt every 6th batch. Before starting a new batch, lay out 2 cubes to melt. I use the microwave method. 16 minutes in a four cup Pyrex bowl. Whisk every few minutes. You can make 7 cups of yogurt for the price of a half gallon of milk. Watch the CVS / Walgreens ad for gallon milk specials cause we know how outrageous milk prices are on BPK.  Also, I use a Euro Strainer I bought on Amazon and drain my whey for 2 hours thus the 7 cup yield from 8 cups of milk. I add vanilla & stevia. We add fruit as we eat it.   I have a whey bread recipe that’s very simple with flour, salt, whey and yeast if you need it. It’s a good way to use your whey.  No kneading. Thanks.

(Ed: Please send in the whey bread recipe because my wife will not waste the whey and serves too wet yogurt. If I can make bread with the whey I can convince her to drain the yogurt. No kneeding is an added bonus.)

The mechanically-inclined among you will appreciate this Heineken commercial. Video
[Low Taxes] I never thought that I would thank a government entity for my tax bill.  However, according to the preliminary notice that I received, my property tax bill for Monroe County will go up 11 cents next year! The only thing better would be a reduction, but I will take the status quo.
[Spanglish word of the day] “Cashew” Yo, Conchita,  you forgot your phone.  I tried running after you but I couldn’t cashew.



Happiness is the only thing that multiplies when you share it.  ~Albert Schweitzer

Pope Francis on Monday urged countries to greatly improve their welcome to migrants and stop collective expulsions, saying migrants’ dignity and right to protection trumps national security concerns. Francis’ politically pointed message was made in view of the Catholic Church’s 2018 world refugee day, celebrated Jan. 14. It comes amid mounting anti-immigrant sentiment in Europe and beyond following waves of migrant arrivals and Islamic extremist attacks. Link
Wilko Johnson talks to leading performers and songwriters about the album that made them or changed them. Recorded in front of a live audience. Audio



This is so bad, I had to share it.

There has been a 130% increase in diagnosed cryptosporidium parasitic infections in the US so far this year. The CDC believes most are due to contaminated vegetables and fruit that have been imported. Wikipedia says “The US CDC notes the recommendation of many public health departments to soak contaminated surfaces for 20 minutes with a 3% hydrogen peroxide (99% kill rate) and then rinse them thoroughly, with the caveat that no disinfectant is guaranteed to be completely effective against Cryptosporidium. However, hydrogen peroxide is more effective than standard bleach solutions.” Link

3% is the store-bought peroxide strength. Soaking your salad fixings or fruit will not harm the flavor. Ozone generators are also available at low cost. These push ozonated air through an aquarium bubbler to create your own hydrogen peroxide disinfectant that will also wipe out the farm worker’s flu bug or the e.coli from his latrine visit. Just put your edibles in a container of water and switch on the generator while they soak.

If this advisory is too late for you, wormwood is noted as an effective anti-parasitic remedy that does not need a prescription and even works on malaria. But do not take wormwood for an extended period as a preventative.



I am not a “glass half full” type of person. I am a “where did I put my glass” kind of person.

A customer in England went to McDonalds and ordered a cheeseburger; no pickles, no onions, no mustard, no catsup, no cheese, no bun, no meat patty. His number was called and he paid the 99 pence for his order– a cheeseburger bag with nothing in it.

The staff at the Tavernier McDonalds ought to pay attention to getting orders right.

[Hurricane] So uh, day 2 in Houston and all I see is Americans helping other Americans – none of the hate the protesters and media would have us believe. Another funny thing, as the storm moved east towards New Orleans, the Cajun Navy drove to Houston and began saving lives. America is great and will be greater again!




Stop in anytime during the event. Everyone is welcome to eat their fill. No entry fee. Donations for pieces starting at$25.

[Friday Joke] Deer Ed – The joke would be funny if you had included the punch line: A rancher named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2016 7 Series BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. (Ed: Sorry. I must have missed the punch line when
I copied and pasted the joke. I’ll laugh anyway. Ha ha ha ha.)



[Patriotic] We live in a world that has walls and those walls need to be guarded by men with guns. Thank you for your service & God bless & watch over you. I leave you all with this image so as you all quarrel over flags, statues, and monuments. Take a look at what America’s finest endured to guarantee our freedoms!

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