2018 May

Friday, June 1, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Dubious Power Company Protocols] My power began fluctuating during Memorial Day weekend and I called the power company to fix the problem. I was told that if the issue was below the meter, I would be responsible for defraying the cost of needed repairs. What choice did I have other than to acquiesce? Little did I know that the power company crew would cut off my power by severing the lines. At first glance, I realized that only one prong was slightly separated and only required tightening before snapping the meter back in place. Unfortunately, that option was categorically ruled out by the crew. Instead, the only choice I was given is to personally secure the help of a licensed electrician to replace the allegedly defective jaw before the power line was reconnected to the house. I quickly called all the electricians
listed in the phone book and wondered whether I would be able to get someone to respond on a holiday. Meanwhile, I began making plans on emptying the refrigerator so as to prevent food spoilage. Fortunately, Nearshore Electric responded and sent a repairman. Carl was a real pro. He not only realized immediately what the problem was, but was able to find a replacement jaw, one he installed on short order.
Hours later, another power company crew came and replaced the wires leading to the house. I suppose they wanted to preclude any issues on their end of the bargain.
Still, I am aghast that a simple issue, one that only required the retightening of the jaw terminal, would create such a wasteful loss of time, material and manpower. Furthermore, I learned the hard way that there was no system in place whereas an electric company would be on standby during holidays. After all, if the power company leaves one high and dry, the customer is stuck holding the proverbial bag, as referrals to requisite help is not their problem. What a system!  ~Paul Sofranac
[Observation] No one becomes a catholic because they want to. Every Catholic is a Catholic because their parents were, or they were forced to convert because they were marring one.
[“Fresh ‘Bassa’ fish”] I must take exception with Tuesday’s poster who said the fresh Basa was really frozen, farm raised catfish. Catfish (at least the kind we get in the south) has tight, small segments, Basa has large segments closely resembling cod or grouper. As far as frozen goes, when the segments gleam you know it’s fresh. Frozen fish lose their moisture and the meat, upon closer inspection, appears to be somewhat fibrous and never gleams. I suggest the poster at least learns how to spell the fish that he’s pretending to be such an expert on. Yes, it’s farm raised and there are other concerns about the fish, but most of them are from commercial fisherman worrying about losing a market. Follow the money when reading about this fish.

There are also concerns about feed quality, farm operating standards and the biological impact of using wild stock for culturing. Tests by Asda and Tesco in the UK have found no trace of toxic contaminants. Test from AQIS found trace levels of malachite green, but no other contaminants.

So eat up and enjoy your $8.99 fresh fish dinner.

[Photography] I’ve been taking photograph most of my life and I stand out too much with the big black Nikon camera. People have always looked at me with suspicion or curiosity when I am photographing in unusual places. That has all changed with the purchase of a One+ cellphone. I can take pictures wherever I want and no one gives me a second glance. The camera’s dual lenses produce images that are actually better than the Nikon’s and there are no settings to fuss with (unless I want to get creative). I do still use the Nikon for long distance shots because of its great telephoto lens, but everything else is with the One+.
[“Dangerous driver”] Deer Ed, First, let me again thank you for posting the Dangerous Driver letter I sent last week.  I’ve attached a rebuttal to the one naysayer that I hope you’ll post.  Even though he / she was the only defender of the law breaker, several folks offered assistance to others with good will intentions. What a great way to get the word out.  Your hard work to single-handedly get the voices of many out is greatly appreciated by the community.  Cheers! ~Karen

In response to the poster who criticized my posting regarding the dangerous driver, absolutely every assumption you made is false.  You weren’t there and therefore shouldn’t be taking sides.  In fact, I’m not over 60, I do have a job, drive the speed limit and obey traffic signs, and most importantly have never in my 51 years have had a ticket or been in an accident.  So f**k you and the ignorant horse you rode in on.  Thanks to the folks who offered solutions and contact info to those who may encounter this circumstance, you are also helping to save lives.  As mamma always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say (especially in the case of the uneducated poster), don’t say anything at all.  Peace.





[People Tracking] I was in a big city’s big hospital and all the nurses and doctors had GPS clipped to their collars.

[Free Stuff] I place all my still good unwanted stuff on the curb in order to recycle it. The only thing I don’t like is when a flea market re-seller takes it.
The computer is the greatest invention since the wheel. Nothing has changed the world more. Therefore, I propose we change the mark of time from B.C. – Before Christ to B.C. – Before Computers!





[Doctor’s Orders] My doctor said that now that I’m getting old I should install a bar in the shower.

I’m Beth Ramsay-Vickrey and I’m running for the KW Utility Board (aka: Keys Energy Board).

In Tuesday’s edition of the CT I spoke about being the only candidate who participated in updating our new 2030 County Comp Plan.  Because of that work, I was appointed to the Planning Commission in 2014.  As your Planning Commissioner, I helped write the new 2030 Land Development Code; which included the updating of electric, utility and conservation sections.
Q:  Why does this matter?
A:  Because the function of the Key West Utility Board is to form the direction, policies, goals, and the guide the financial business of the utility.

I am the only candidate for the Keys Energy Utility Board who has worked on local County policies, goals and initiatives (6½ years as a private citizen, then another 3½ as a seated Planning Commissioner).  Additionally, I’ve served more than 6 years on the Keys Energy “Advisory” Board as your area representative.

I’m running for this seat on the KW Utility Board (aka: Keys Energy Board) with a record of more than 10 years’ experience successfully advancing our local electric, utility, and conservation issues, policies, and goals. And I am respectfully asking for your consideration and vote on August 28th.

[Bar Rail] While traveling recently I ended up in a lame town without any barrooms I liked. I ended up in one that didn’t even have a bar rail. How can you sit at a bar without a bar rail to put your feet on? The worse thing was the brick wallpaper, no, the worse thing was the 1980s AM radio hits on the s**tty sound system.

Video to make you smile.

[Missing Horse Shit] Will the supper low class thief who stole approx. 25 bags of horse shit from my house on Big Torch please return them. I mean how low can you go to steal shit from someone’s home?
[“Hurricane season”] We had a good laugh at the news warning to prepare for the coming hurricane season when the last one is still a mess in the Keys! By the way it looks, the Keys will be a wash over and be perfect for developers soon.
[Learning Spanish] I don’t have a problem with Latinos merging their society with ours, it’s enviable. They are mostly Catholics and breed like rabbits, so their population is growing faster than born-here Americans. I don’t mind learning Spanish for practical reasons. So many places in the world speak Spanish it will be easier for all if we learn the language




New fawns are running and playing – please drive with care!

[1879 Tahiti] The coast being cleared of the attacking natives, our boats were manned and armed, and all the carpenters with their axes were sent on shore, with directions to destroy every canoe they could find; and we are told this service was effectually performed, and that more than fifty canoes, many of which were sixty feet long, and three broad, and lashed together, were cut to pieces.  This act of severity must have been cruelly felt by these poor people, who, without iron or any kind of tools, but such as stones, shells, teeth, and bones supplied them with, must have spent months and probably years in the construction of one of these extraordinary double boats. ~Captain William Bligh
United Way of the Florida Keys is excited to announce that funding has more than tripled from previous years to support local non-profits in the 2018-19 Community Investment grant cycle. UWFK will disburse $496,000 in grants to 19 local nonprofits providing access to nutritious food, childcare support, and safety net services.

In the wake of Hurricane Irma, UWFK dedicated this funding cycle to support programs providing services to those negatively affected by the storm. 19 local non-profits have been awarded funding for 26 programs. Link

Amazing how this magician explains the deck of cards.

Is Keys Sea Center ever opening again? what about Dion’s in the Avenues?
Michigan legislators can’t decide on marijuana proposal. Former, U.S. Speaker of the House, John Boehner told a Mackinac Conference crowd about going from marijuana opponent to advocate, lawmakers quibbled over a legal pot in Michigan. Link
[Bend A Knee] Nuclear missiles from North Korea seem like a greater threat than protesting football players, but I’ve never understood sports.




Sometimes there are great reviews on Amazon, like this one!

I drank LA city water for the first time yesterday and concluded that it reminded me of highly diluted swamp water. It really did taste like that.
Monroe County Emergency Management offers good info for when ‘that’ day comes. Link


[All Trial Drugs Approved] President Donald Trump signed the “Right to Try Act” Wednesday, a measure aimed at helping terminally ill patients access drug treatments that are yet to be fully approved by the Food and Drug Administration. Link

[Polluted Canals] There are no more fish, lobster or crabs in our canals, they all disappeared. The canals have degraded desperately since 2010. The canal behind Caribbean Dr on Summerland Key turned green right after the sewer hook-up. I remember when it was crystal clear. “Swimming canals” are what the realtors call them–not anymore. The density of population has increased the crap washing in. I wouldn’t swim in a canal any more. The damage that Irma’s done and the trailers and chemicals that washed in has soaked for 8 months
Listerine uses you probably never heard of. Link






In LA mailmen still deliver on foot.

The new world order plague is not germs but lawyers!




[From The Right Guy] Exclusive here on Coconut Telegraph! Last known picture of FTR Guy heading north to become an full time snowbird.

[‘Saving deer”] Was the post on Tuesday really from the Save Our Key Deer group? And if so, did they mean to disrespect the other group, the Key Deer Protection Alliance? What difference does it make that KDPA only holds meetings during the winter season when most folks are here in the Keys. They have very informative and interesting topics at their meetings. Maybe you shouldn’t “assume” anything about another group or “assume” that you can work with the Federal or State authorities with anything to do with the Key Deer. Or maybe they just don’t need your help.
[“Running race”] There is an invention that is half street broom and half umbrella for these athletes who could be doing the Keys a favor by cleaning the roads while running like idiots and doing nothing I think is important.




[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[“New deer saviors in town”] Do they give out recipes and hunting tips? how to gut and freeze the meat? or are they keeping it all for themselves?
[Gay Cities] Alaska, Philadelphia, New York City, San Francisco, and a hundred other cities in America are centers for the gay communities. What large cities are straight?
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