2021 July

Friday, July 30, 2021

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
The Un-social Media with 60,000 Followers

The gun-grabber’s post on Tuesday was the most disjointed, illogical, and frankly frightening thing I’ve read here on this forum. “Right off the bat I propose confiscating all automatic weapons except by special license.” Well that has already been done. A person can only obtain an automatic weapon  with a, very expensive and difficult to get, ‘special’ license. As far as I know, murders committed with a machine gun in America are exceedingly rare (and they are obtained illegally) since they were banned many years ago(and ironically, the guns this poster would allow [with a license of course]are the ones used in crime, mainly pistols). This person wants to throw away not only the main tenets of the 2nd amendment but also the entire 4th amendment. The police would be allowed to search a citizen like the Gestapo or Kempeitai? “Everyone” the poster maintains should submit to the intrusion of a search at the cops’ whim. Frightening. This person claims these are the solutions I “don’t want to hear”. The poster goes on to proclaim, in defiance of their original premise, that these things are impossible to achieve but they are a “good start”. How is something impossible to achieve, something that will never happen a “good start”? You are right, I don’t want to hear that ridiculous, disjointed, contradictory mess of a thought. “There are far too many guns floating around out there. Do something about them!” the poster demands failing to identify that it is the criminals that are far too many and need something done about. The guns are inanimate objects, incapable of committing a crime.
[Friday Joke] He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically, and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out, “Oh my God!” Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, “You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”
The atheist looked directly into the light. “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the bear a Christian?”
“Very well”, said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: “Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen.
Are you suffering from the unwanted grass on the lawn or in the garden. However, the grass increases the beauty in the lawn. But unwanted grass can reduce beauty. That is why you need to kill those grasses. Now, there are so many ways you can apply for killing the grass permanently from the place you want. You can use salt, hot water, vinegar, baking soda, herbicides, etc. Apply one of these ingredients, and your grass will be removed forever. But, make sure you apply the perfect amount to work properly. Link
Do you know why people after age 50, don’t have kids? They’ve learned they have screwed up the planet enough.



[Bacon] Eat your heart out, vegans!

When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers.  ~Socrates
[Escape] What would happen if our Keys got attacked by crazies from Cuba or Miami? Where and what can we do?

[Name That Bird] This bird was high in a buttonwoods tree whooping and whooping. I think it is a gull of some sort because of the turned down beak.

[Politics vs Health] Un-vaccinated people are giving Covid to other un-vaccinated people. In “Red States” the virus is spreading fastest. 80% of Red State people are un-vaccinated.
[Masks] The Centers for Disease Control has officially recommended that people living in areas with significant COVID transmission should start wearing masks again, regardless of vaccination status, as the Delta variant blows through the country.
[Cubans] Islamorada charter captain intercepts 5 Cubans in a chug 21 miles offshore. Gives them water and food and sends them on their way. Dumb ass! They were found by Coasties, thank God. This charter jockey should be arrested for not notifying authorities.
Welcome to the Keys.


Why was I the only one naked at the gender reveal party?

[Friday Joke] Patient: How often do people die during the procedure?
Doctor: Just once.

[Orange Flavor] How come only La Croix sparkling water is the only orange flavored sparkling water?

[Covid] How can we believe anyone when everyone has different advice. Maybe the next time a plague hits the world we’ll have our s**t together and have a unified message.
[Friday Joke] I sent that ancestry site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds, and suggested that I just start over.


[Covid] Here we go again with the contradictory messaging. The CDC Says one thing, the vaccine companies say another, and TV yet another. What a mess.

[Big Kahuna Contest] Good Health Clinic is excited to announce that after 2 postponements due to the pandemic, the Big Kahuna Contest is back! Every year the clinic selects exceptional, community driven individuals from a pool on nominees in Monroe Country to compete in raising funds and spreading the word about the services Good Health Clinic provides. The contestants use their personal and professional network to raise funds on behalf of the patients at our clinic.  “Through these individuals’ amazing and selfless efforts, the clinic is able to raise needed funding and spread the word about our services so Keys residents know we’re here to help them.” Says Kate Banick, Executive Director.  The contest runs from now until September 29th and the clinic asks for the communities help in applauding and supporting each contestant.  The Big Kahuna winner will be announced at the 9th Annual Luau for Health Fundraiser at Dolphins Plus Bayside on October 2. Link


[Butterfly] This beautiful rust colored butterfly was on my porch.

[“That poster’s racist mindset”] What in the original post about gun control was racists? I suspect the new post was written by one of those frightened-old-White men who only sees life from one narrow view
[Friday Joke] Liquor store cashier: Can I see your ID please? (I look every bit of 65)
Me: I don’t have it. Would you like to cut me in half and count the rings? He didn’t laugh.


Jean Harlow, the “blonde bombshell”, died at age 26 just like many of  the big 70’s rock stars. Link

[Friday Joke] One liners:
I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.
A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a public restroom is worse.
Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response.
Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent.
Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought, “Their cornbread isn’t done in the middle.”
Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors
I asked my wife if I was the only one she had ever been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
It turns out that being an adult now is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.
Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think “That can’t be accurate.”
I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
As I watch this new generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of, it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway.


What airlines think people look like.