2022 July

Friday, July 8, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Help Wanted] Church secretary wanted at Big Pine United Methodist Church. Call-386-209-8073

[Guns] The former prime minister of Japan was assassinated on Friday in the city of Nara. Shinzo Abe served in the office longer than anyone before stepping down in 2020. There are no guns in Japan. His murderer made his own gun. Japan is the safest country in the world where gun violence is unknown. They have no 2d Amendment. The cops carry sticks. If you drop your wallet a Japanese person will pick it up and chase you down the street to return it to you. You can put your 5-year-old on the subway and not worry about his safety. Americans don’t know what it’s like to live in a safe country and never will. (Unrelated: They have beer vending machines in the neighborhoods, and also vending machines with girly magazines.) Link
[Frangipani] Free plumeria cuttings: yellow (Celadine), fuchsia pink (Miami Rose), and rainbow (Vera Cruz Rose).  Put the stem in dirt; it makes its own roots! 21023 7th Ave. E, Cudjoe Key (Turn at MM 21 by the Sheriff substation onto Drost Drive.   Go 7 blocks to 7th Ave. E. & turn Left.  Second house on the left, white concrete ground level home with dark blue trim.  Fish painted mailbox.   21023 on the mailbox post. Yellow & rainbow cuttings are on the rocks next to the street, by the 2nd driveway.  Fuchsia Pink cuttings are underneath the plumeria tree closest to the street.

UK’s Boris Johnson is stepping down for a new job at a hair salon.

[Guns] First off, I’m all for gun ownership, but when a normal citizen cannot remember the last mass shooting location or date there is a problem. I believe a drastic overhaul of licensing/ownership is past overdue. I think law enforcement personnel, active or retired should have no problem with ownership.
But non-LEO people, or a history of domestic violence, DUI/DWI, and assault should be either banned or a complete background including history, blood, hair, eye analytical testing should be a prerequisite. This is just my take on this mad society we live in

[Sweet Revenge] Wouldn’t be nice if we could hit a key on our keyboard and send an electronic pulse to destroy those assholes who send spam and other junk email.

[Gas] Prices are hovering at an all-time high, and so is the appeal of switching to an electric vehicle (EV). It’s no secret that juicing up a battery is more affordable than filling up at the pump. In our testing, a full tank of gas cost upwards of $50, while a couple of hours at a fast-charging point set us back just $1.69 (though that time commitment isn’t lost on us). Today’s charging infrastructure isn’t nearly as robust as the existing network of gas stations. Your options can be further limited, as proprietary charging standards (ahem, Tesla) don’t yet accommodate every EV in the United States.


Aero-Flex Snap & Trim Head will revolutionize your trimmer. Link

[Gun Uncontrol] Highland Park suspect had 2 interactions with police prior to legally purchasing guns. How many red flags does it take? Link
[Friday Joke] A mom walks into her sons room to get him up for church. She says to the son, “Get up, its time for church.” The son rolls over and says so his mom, “I’m not going to church and I’ll tell you three reasons why. 1) I don’t like the people 2) The people don’t like me and 3) I don’t want to go.”
The mother responds,” You are going to church and I’ll tell you three reasons why. You’re a Christian, you have to go even when you don’t want to. You’re 42 years old. And you’re the priest.”
[Rape] A 10-year-old rape victim was denied an abortion in Ohio, and she needs to go to Indiana to get one. Since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade, many states have been moving to enact new bans — and Indiana is one of them.

I’m waiting for the report of the first victim of a coat hanger abortion. I’m old enough to remember that happening frequently.

[Friday Joke] I think, I’m going to lose my drivers license and all just because of a stupid police officer. The conversation went like this when I got pulled over in my car: Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!”
Me: “I assure you, I did not drink anything.”
Officer: “Ok, let’s do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?”
Me: “A car.”
Officer: “Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?”
Me: “I have no idea!”
Officer: “So, you’re drunk.”
Me: “But I didn’t drink anything.”
Officer: “Okay, one more test. Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it?
Me: “A motorcycle.”
Officer: “Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?”
Me: “I have no idea!”
Officer: “As I suspected, you’re drunk!”
Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.
Me: “So, counter question: You’re driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?”
Officer: “A prostitute of course.”
Me: “Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?”
Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend.

[Guns] Welcome to America where mass murder happens once a week. Oh boy, we get to watch another news conference and listen to platitudes

[Give Blood] Here’s a list of the blood drives on BPK the rest of July. To schedule an appointment go to Link and enter your zip code and dates. Donors receive an All American Hero shirt and a $20 eGift Card. Thank you for donating.
Monday, July 11 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 10:00 am-3:00 pm
Monday, July 18 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 10:00 am-3:00 pm
Thursday, July 28 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 12:00pm-5:00pm


[Book Club] Our next meeting is July 16th at 10:00 am at the Big Pine Library.  We are reading This Tender Land by Kent Krueger. Link

[“Guns for game warden”] Why would we need a game warden if guns weren’t allowed? There would be no rifles for hunting.


Singapore hangs 2 drug traffickers despite opposition. No appeals, no deals. Link

How to empty your baitwell. Video
[Murderer] Highland Park shooting person of interest left online trail of violent imagery. They know he did it.  He said so. He should be hung on public TV. Link
[Conundrum] If you speak up, you are put down, but if you are put down they want you to speak up.
[Old Time Shoe Store] Are there any real shoe stores in the Keys with an assortment of name-brand running shoes, the kind of store where you can have a clerk measure your foot for width and length, and then have the clerk bring you several choices to try on? I was hoping the new store on Big Pine would be the answer, but so far it isn’t
Let’s call greedy people “the ever hungry”.
[Most Dangerous Species On The Planet] The Earth is home to many creatures, some are cute, whereas others are not. Many animals are pretty scary. Link
[Time] Today was Tomorrow Yesterday.

Happy 4th of July from Pascoag Reservoir, R.I.

Unfortunately, the best Get Out Of Jail card is to be born White.
[Cooler Knowledge] The scientifically best way to pack a cooler. A summer holiday might be primetime for eating, drinking, and hanging out, but every weekend has the potential to reach legendary levels of chill. All those good vibes can melt away in an instant, though, thanks to one poorly packed cooler. Link
[Friday Joke] My Wife (whispering in my ear),  “Let’s run upstairs and make love!”
Me, “Make up your damn mind. I can’t do both.”

Go, momma! Shake it, don’t break it! Feel the Lord! Um-hmm.