The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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![]() Jammin’ on Picnic Island Sandbar: The Ultimate Florida Keys Party Experience! Wetstock 18. Video |
[Education] An arena is enclosed, and a stadium is outside |
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![]() The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades. |
[Friday Joke] A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign over the bar which says: Cheese Sandwich $1.50 Chicken Sandwich $2.50 Hand Job $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile, “Can I help you?” “I was wondering,” whispers the man, “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs, “I am.” The man replies, “Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich! |
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There are four Blood Drives in the Big Pine area in June. Donor gifts are a One Blood Water Bottle and $20 eGift Card. To schedule an appointment visit http://www.oneblood.org and enter your zip code and the from and to dates. Thank you for donating! Monday, June 5 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center 12 – 5, Sunday, June 11 – Keys Vineyard 8:30 – 12:30, Thursday, June 15 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center 12 – 5, Monday, June 26 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center 12 – 5 |
![]() [Musicians Who Died at the Age of 26] Dead at 26 is not only for rock stars. We’re all aware of how many rock stars died at the age of 26, Jean Harlow the sexpot actress of the 30s also died at 26 (kidney failure). Link |
[Artificial Intelligence] A reporter cloned his face and voice using AI and was able to get into his online bank account and withdraw money. How would someone be able to prove that AI emptied an account instead of a person? |
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[Bad News] There is an unfortunate increase in cancer trends among younger populations. Since 1990, age-adjusted cancer rates have increased between 2-4 percent annually in most countries in people 30 and younger. In Florida, researchers have seen this trend in the past 10 years. Specific cancers were found to have increased among younger individuals, ages 20- 39, over the past 10 years in Florida, including breast cancer, colon cancer, non-Hodgkin lymphoma, and leukemia. |
![]() [Podcasting] Here is what you need to have your own professional podcast. Your own TV studio for $300. You’ll also need professional lighting. |
The AARP June 2023 Calendar is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events |
![]() Monroe County Director of Veterans Affairs Cathy Crane, tech-support Leonardo Morin and Jethon Williams, along with veteran’s service officer Kevin Perham, were logistically brilliant and steadfast, while laying the bedrock upon which this event rested. Without the guidance and leadership of our State Attorney and VFW Post 10211 Commander Dennis Ward, this Memorial Day Ceremony would not have been kept relevant and operational. American Legion Islamorada Post 145, with their awesomely decorated military vehicle remains a groundwork of patriotic fervor, forever availing themselves in service to their country and community. The Monroe County Sherriff’s Deputies and department, Key Largo Fire/Rescue and Truck Ladder Company under the direction of Chief Don Brock, law-enforcement agencies and first responders across the board; we thank you for your support and service to our county. The Memorial Day videos presented were both breathtaking and heart-wrenching, reminding us the depths of the sacrifices endured by our veterans killed in action. Mr. David Kay’s devotion and determination to memorialize our Memorial Day proceedings will be forever remembered, never forgotten and always appreciated. Thank you so very much. Sincerely, John Donnelly, Key Largo, FL |
![]() [Air] Remember when you could get air for free at the gas station? Now it’s a $1.50. I guess that’s the price of inflation |
What’s the difference between a phone and a “burner” phone? You have to sign up for both and pay for both. |
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![]() [“Flax lily”] We were told that the deer don’t eat flax lilies. That might be true for yours, but not for mine. My deer are like goats and will eat anything if they’re hungry. |
[Movies] How they add tension to a movie: Car won’t start, gun jambs, no cell service. Take those artifices away and the directors would be at a loss. |
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Common eyewash myths debunked. OSHA requirements for eyewash safety stations. Link |
![]() [Rednecks] When the manager at Home Depot speaks fluent redneck. |
Why are transgender people not called “It”? After all, they should be legally called what they were born as, but the sickos today want their own badge. |
![]() Determine your risk. You first need to know the potential wind and water hazards in your area, and then you can begin planning how to handle them. Remember, a hurricane’s impacts can be felt hundreds of miles inland. Write (or review) your evacuation plan, and ensure everyone in your household is familiar with it. Set up group text messaging threads to communicate easily and efficiently once a storm is in the forecast. Prepare your home and yard. Secure windows, doors, and outdoor items that could be picked up by strong winds. Move cars in the garage and ensure family pets have a safe place to shelter, too. Organize your medications: During a hurricane or severe storm, evacuation may be necessary, and many businesses, including pharmacies, may be closed. Keep a list of current medications and, if possible, a two-week supply of each. Take essential documents with you. Birth certificates, social security information, marriage licenses, and passports should be ready to travel with you in a waterproof, portable container. Be ready to evacuate and be ready to stay. Be prepared to shelter in place if an evacuation is not possible, ensuring you have enough food, water, and supplies on hand to last for at least a week. Have plenty of cash on hand. When the power goes out nothing works but cash. Take a look at your current insurance policies. It’s important you know what will be covered – and what will not – in the event of a hurricane. We’re always happy to walk you through your policies and any additional coverage options. Isaksen Insurance, Inc 305-872-0097 historical hurricane tracks by zip code |
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![]() [Electric Cars] I’m getting ready for a road trip in my new EV |
[Deer Editor, I did not say “treated” sewage because that would have been incorrect. I said “raw” sewage. The term “Jeen-yus” also was used, as a cynical disparagement of the authoritarian Pecksniffians who make incredibly rotten policy compulsory. Thank you. (Editor: Raw sewerage is never injected into the wells. Only treated sewerage is. Which I agree is foolish.) |
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[Smart Phone] If memory serves me right, this was the first Smart phone. |
[World Control] Who do we want to be? or who does Big Brother want to govern? Then figure out who developed this garbage. Who wants world control? |
![]() My loving wife made pizza yesterday. I’ve learned over the years to ask for it slightly undercooked rather than over cooked. |
[?] Are they building concentration camps in the Keys or peasant shacks for the useless. |
![]() [Sandbagged?] President Biden falls over sandbag. How embarrassing. What was a sandbag doing on the stage in the first place? Was it a trap for the old man? Video |
[Murphy’s First Law for Wives] If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five |
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[Friday Joke] A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 7:30 pm after work. His wife begins screaming at him, and his friend just sits and listens. Wife: “My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the heii did you bring him home?” Husband: “Because he’s thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo.” |
![]() Thanks to all who made Wetstock 18 a success. Everyone had a ball. You did it again Flip Flop Bob! |
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 6/1/23 at 8:50 am. |