2019 August

Friday, August 23, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Bank Robber] ] I received this month’s statement from Tennessee Bank, that used to be Capitol Bank that used to be TIB and the new owners charged me $35 a month to keep my money there–a lot of money. So, I closed my account. Don’t they notice that their greed is losing them business? There used to be two girls at the counter, plus a manager and an assistant manager—all were busy. Today there was just one cashier and one manager and an empty parking lot. All the old employees are gone. That’s what they get for ripping off loyal customers of 40 years.

I took my money across the street to First State Bank where they welcomed me with, no fees, no minimum, no charge for monthly statements, free checks, and a free toaster (it was really a Bluetooth speaker). First State is the only locally owned bank in the Keys that hasn’t been gobbled up by out of state money grubbers. They’re benefitting from Tennessee Bank’s greed. First State Bank’s parking lot was almost full. Inside there were two tellers, a manager and an assistant manager—all busy with customers. There were even other customers sitting on chairs waiting to open accounts. Wake up Tennessee (Capitol, TIB Bank), customer’s happiness matters in the Keys.

The average age of homeowners in America is 70 years old. That’s surprising to me as I assumed it was about fifty.




[Brassiere] My wife found this bra in my car.  I had to convince her that it was a horse’s eyes resting mask.

[Friday Joke] After I paid for my items in an adorable Italian shop, the salesperson smiled and said, “Grazie”, Italian for “thank you”. My Italian isn’t very good, but I knew that the Italian word for “you’re welcome” is the name of a spaghetti sauce.  So I confidently replied, “Ragu!” and walked out of the store. A few blocks later, it hit me: I had the wrong spaghetti sauce. “You’re welcome” is prego.



[Come Together] What is happening here in the USA is the same method of divide and conquer used to create hate and separation of the people like they did in Germany. We cannot let this happen. Make America great forever!

[Malaria] Worldwide, over two hundred million people were infected with malaria each year, and nearly half a million died from the disease. Ninety percent of those deaths took place in Africa, where a child died of malaria every minute.
[Forgotten History] Officers directed B-17 bombers to drop practice bombs during night operation for WW2 training. A triangle of lights was set up near Frostproof, Florida. The bombs were successfully dropped at night, only to later find the “target” was the Post Office, the Town Hall and the Library. Oops! The practice bombs were fully weighted with only sand but made for interesting headlines.
[Win A Free Wedding] Sounds silly, and it is, Sierra Nevada Brewing Co is going to give a free wedding (flights, hotel, hair, makeup, photos, cake) during its 10th Annual Oktoberfest party because, well, a wedding is how Oktoberfest started in Munich.

So, rules are, make a one minute video and get folks to vote. We definitely have the funniest video of the group!

Please accept this blast from the past email and humor me with a vote. They don’t ask for an email, just two clicks and you’re done. If you’re feeling extra humanitarian, you can vote from different devices, and tomorrow too, and share with your friends.  Hope my video makes you laugh! Allison Higgs Video

[Ebola] Screening for Ebola at US Airports. Link


Berlin is a sprawling city that covers over 340 square miles— larger than New York City and nine times the size of Paris. Berlin’s new hauptbahnhof is now the largest train station in Europe and that the city also has several rivers and over seventeen hundred bridges—more than Venice. Berlin is currently the most popular tourist destination in Germany and one of the top three in Europe. It’s tough for Berliners to find a decent apartment to rent. Many estate agents and other enterprising individuals were now signing annual leases on apartments simply to sublet them to tourists on sites like Airbnb. In fact, the city’s senate had recently passed a law requiring renters to notify their landlord if they were subletting. Still, nearly two-thirds of the twelve thousand apartments for sublet were unregistered and operated illegally.

[Spiders] Hurricanes are making spiders more aggressive. Video


The state with the oldest population is Maine where the average age is over 65.

[Friday Joke] “What inspires you to get up every morning?”
“My bladder mostly.”
[Alcohol vs. Marijuana] 5 guys drunk on booze will start a fight.  5 guys stoned on pot will order a pizza and start a band.
Black history stories being documented. The search for family history can be complicated for many African Americans. Slavery’s devastating legacy stripped family stories away from black Americans. Video


[Friday Joke] Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them. “That’s us in ten years,” he says. His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar, turns to his friend, and slurs, “That’s a mirror.”

Gun deaths and auto deaths are about the same every year.



The next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, August 24, 10 am at the Senior Center.  Having problems with an electronic device?  Maybe we can help.  Open to all. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

[Mind Control] I have lived for 80 years on this rock and seen things I didn’t believe humans would do to one another. Wars, crimes, hate, torture, politics and religion. All are methods of control from those who don’t want to work for their living and think they are better than the rest.  It is no wonder this rock is about to crumble under those who would self-destruct because they didn’t get their candy! Sad it is, that people have left the whippers and war lords in control to annihilate all else. Yes, insanity has to do with who’s on first, but it is only one of the diseases that will end it all. If humanity goes out the window, the animals and insects will finally conquer and then just maybe our neighbors will visit this food source.
[Fluoride] Association between maternal fluoride exposure during pregnancy and IQ scores in offspring. Link


[Milk Boy] About forty years ago, I asked my Key West neighbor who was over eight at the time, how he made his living back then. He told me he was a milk boy. I thought he meant milkman, but he said no. As a boy he would bring the cow to the houses of his customers who would provide a container and he would milk the cow right there for them

[Stalkerware] Signs your phone has stalkerware and what to do about it. Prevention is always the best, but most people don’t know how their phone is vulnerable. A hacker can compromise your device with a malicious text message or email, but the most common method requires physical access to the phone. Link
[Affordable Housing] The dumbest thing I have seen in the Keys is the inundation of trash housing to house the low rent working class. These islands are limited in area and what do the idiots do? they build junk housing and forget about what the super rich could bring to these Keys. From basic purchasing to real estate taxes, any rich person would bring in a fortune and these islands would not suffer from thousands of unfit minions. Tourism is not the way to create a paradise, but to destroy it.



Light pollution and how we are ruining our view of the night sky. Show it to the snowbirds when they come down on their annual escape from the cold. They then tend to turn on all outside lights. Link

[Rich People Only] Why do we locals put up with rot gut booze, lousy food, super high prices and crummy service in the Keys? If the greedy entrepreneurs cannot run a decent, fare priced business, don’t open one! People will say if you can’t afford the Keys, don’t live here. Who are those people who say that?


[Miracle Flash Drive] I went swimming with a flash drive in my pocket and it stayed wet all day and still worked when I got home and found it in my swimsuit.

[Whiny Men] Woman sit at bar stools too, next to you whining about bar stools. Get up n dance if it’s such a pain in your butt after a few.  That’s why I no longer go out–men that whine over trivial bs among other things.