2014 August

Friday, August 29, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

[Crooks] The Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority has hired former Monroe County Schools Superintendent Randy Acevedo as a computer tech, more than four years after the ousted elected official began applying at the public utility. Acevedo was hired Aug. 20 at an annual salary of $45,379 proving crime pays.
[“Foam beds”] Do your research before buying as some make you very hot.
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mcdonald29[How quickly we forget] When they were trying to get permits for the Winn Dixie shopping center, they had to agree to try and obscure the development from the rest of us with vegetation. They agreed and everyone was happy. Now that some years have passed, people don’t mind the development and want to cut down, or even remove, the vegetation, exposing hundreds of cars and asphalt and big glass store fronts with garish signs. I say leave it, or maybe even plant more to better hide the development. I often hear people complaining and wishing things were the way they used to be. And then in their next breath they say they want to cut down something we fought hard to get. That’s how the Keys have always changed. A little at a time, until you wake up one morning and there’s a McDonald’s sitting on your front lawn and you start crying for things the way they used to be, never realizing it was you changing it.
I voted! I wasted gas! I wasted time! I am stupid!
I love Big Pine Key and all of the Lower Keys. We get a lot of visitors that leave a trail of garbage behind them and we get visitors that take care not to. We have locals that do the same. Businesses take the brunt of it all, some of us try to keep up with the mess but honestly it can be overwhelming at times. We have a designated scenic highway with no rest areas or public restrooms. We have a bike path with no public facilities. We have a county with so many rules and restrictions that it can make it financially impossible to make “everything pretty”. If you are focusing on Winn Dixie’s parking lot you need to focus on doing a small part to help the over all picture. I can understand why that lot can at times be a mess. So be part of the solution and pick up something. Every time I go to our beautiful Bahia Honda Beach I take trash bags and fill them. Believe me, that beach can look worse than Winn Dixie on any given day.
This was one of the best years for Wahoo fishing in a very long time. We enjoyed excellent catching right up until mid August. Mangrove snapper on the reef along with Cero mackerel & Yellowtail have remained very good. Now if we can just get though another hurricane season with out a storm it will be a stellar year. Have a blessed day my friends. ~Joe / Coconuts
[Friday Joke] I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I’m so happy, because I live at number 71. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards. And it’s the same side of the street. I don’t even have to cross the road!
Wolfgang Puck’s Butterflied Chicken w/ spice rub recipe & barbecue sauce. Happy Labor Daze Fla. Keys! Link
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man sleeping on bed zzz[“Memory Foam Beds”] Memory foam mattresses are the best. Naturally the one’s advertised on TV and in most brick and mortar stores are going to be jazzed up in some way so as to cost an arm and a leg. However if you’re savvy you can order just the bare 6″ mattress online and stick it on your present box spring or bed frame. It comes in a large box and vacuum shrunk, you just unwrap it and it swells up to it’s normal size. I only paid $280 for mine 5 years ago at Kmart and it still is a great mattress and a great bargain. Rotate it once every few months and that’s all there is to it. If you have a frame bed, make sure it can get a little air underneath or it will trap moisture and grow mold under there. You’ll get the best night sleep ever and it’s great for people with back troubles. If 6″ doesn’t cut it for you, add a 2″ mattress topper to give it a little more thickness.
My mother said, “The second thing a woman looks at is the shoes.” She was risqué and very fashionable.
[FKAA Hires Felon] Even though Randy Acevedo is a Bubba Felon, it is still against official FKAA policy to hire convicted felons​. Selected applicants have a police background check and drug test.  Employees are suspended without pay immediately if even accused of a crime, and, to quote from the FKAA Employee Manual and CWA Agreement, “A conviction of any crime by an employee or if the employee enters a plea of “nolo contendere” or if the employee enters into any type of plea agreement to a criminal charge including an agreement where adjudication is withheld, this is reason for immediate termination.”

I predict Acevedo will be in an FKAA management position soon, where he will fit right in, what with all his previous experience. I believe DEP rules also forbid felons in waterworks. Acevado would have access to water treatment facilities as a part of his job, wherein he is thought to be a public safety risk. Yes, it is paranoid, but a lot of laws are.

Maybe Kirk Zuelch, their leader, figured out  a way this doesn’t apply? He’s an attorney, right?  Maybe that’s why none of the other rules and regulations don’t seem to apply either

frog top hat dance
I watched a stoned dog licking Bufo frogs in Australia in a documentary last night. The frogs have a gland on each side of their head that secretes a psychedelic ooze. The dog goes out just about every day and licks them until he drops over in a euphoric state with a humorous glazed look in his eyes. It was pretty funny.
[Scary] Elbola has claimed over 1500 lives so far and there’s nothing they can do to stop its spread.
I wonder if the Presidents of all the other countries in the world are now at news conferences facing reporters demanding to know what they intend to do about the Ukraine, Iraq, Syria, ISIS, Libya, Russia, Al Qida, China, The Taliban, Africa, immigration situations.  I really doubt it.
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[“I sure wish somebody would introduce any god to me just once”
] Here you go. Not god, but I heard he has the creator on speed dial.
[Farming Without Soil] How to feed the cities of the future. Video
[“WD parking lot“] Just call the realtor taking care of the property. They have a person who comes every night after 9pm and cleans up and trims (trimming is not enough). I think all hedges that are blocking our view should be removed. The one on the Wilder Rd side at the back of the stair case, the fellow did trim it back for me. He was very nice about it. Leave the chicks alone, they’re good therapy for some.
Who is the vivacious vixen on the Personality She’s Got Them poster?
[Alcoholic Monkeys] Or just a another normal weekend in the Keys! Video
[“Michael Brown”] The picture posted of a guy with a gun and money in his mouth is not Mike Brown. Brown is most probably a thug, but posting false images like that does absolutely no good.
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magician bird pocket
What do you think they would call one of these street illusionists like David Blaine if he could go back in time 2000 years and turn water to wine, walk on water, cure the lame, play dead 3 days, feed 5000 with 3 fish and 2 loaves of bread? Maybe a god?
What does Peace look like? Share a photo. Link
There must be two Winn Dixies on BPK, because the one I go to still floods after a good rain
[“Comparing cell phones to guns”] When cell phones are outlawed, only outlaws will have cell phones!
Well Boys & Girls it’s only two days until Wetstock 10. There will be one more post on Sunday before the show. We have four great bands this year.
Maddog & The Road Whores
Billy Brown Band
Old School
The Ray West Band
Spread the word, we didn’t get any fliers out this year. We thank, The News Barometer, All Power Systems, and the Bands for donating.Come on out for a full day of Peace & Music at Picnic Island. Take only photos and leave only footprints! ~Your friend, Flip Flop Bob
[“Mideast melt“] Just wait, it won’t be long before an Arab suicide bomber detonates a former Russian briefcase nuke or a dirty bomb in Israel. Then Israel will fire all their nukes at the “Persians” and we will not have to worry about the holy land no more. It’s inevitable. David might have had a ark of the covenant nuke to bring the walls of Jerico down, or do you think blowing rams’ horns did it?
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
[One Smooth Actor & Liar] Sons Of Guns lead star Will Hayden re-arrested on charges he raped his daughter almost daily since she was 11 years old. He was previously arrested on only molestation charges and blamed the indecent on a ex-girlfriend. It appears the daughter came forward and confirmed the abuse. The series has been cancelled but it’s still available on Netflix. Link
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[“Denon receiver repair”] There is a very competent shop next to the old Stick & Stine in the Kmart Plaza. That would be the place to start. A small fee to check it out that goes towards the cost of repair. I have had very good luck with them.
Why child porn? Because a tumescent penis has no conscience.
As I was watching Bonanza today I was wondering if you could make a western these days where you are always killing Native Americans.
This woman from Finksburg, Maryland is smiling in her mug shot after she reportedly beat her husband with one of his golf clubs after finding him in bed with another woman.
[“Shop locally“] I sympathize with yesterday’s poster. I too have has similar experiences with local business treating me like dirt when they are busy and then crying when business is slow and blaming everyone else but themselves.
[“Key West Grand Jury – Not Guilty”] Perhaps you should believe in our nation of laws, our court system of juries and peers. Ever thought of that?
Perhaps the evidence didn’t support your personal view after being reviewed by the Grand Jury? Death is never pleasant. Justice is not always perceived as being right, however, both are final — good or bad. It is what it is in our Great Nation. This poster acknowledges your loss.
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The alleged picture of Michael Brown, which has been shown at least twice on the Coconut Telegraph, is not a picture of Michael Brown. It is, in fact, a picture of an alleged murderer from Oregon. Look it up on your Search under “Michael Brown images”. Didn’t something like this phony picture happen on your site once before in another racially charged case?
I don’t know if Michael Brown is some sweet, innocent child or a very large (6’4″, almost 300 pounds), young man, who was fairly hyped up after the cigar heist, approximately 10 minutes before running into the cop. My guess is that he had no idea that the cop did not know about the robbery and thought he and his buddy might be about to be arrested–and that he did something stupid like trying to fight the much smaller cop. However, the lowlife in the photo is not Michael Brown.
[“Race Problem–July 2013”] Bill O’Reilly put into words what I have felt for a long time. I think this should be aired online, TV, radio and newspapers. Video
[“Ferguson Cop“] It seems rather paranoid to keep track of who is donating to which defense fund. The facts will speak for themselves and people who threaten the lives of donors will be prosecuted. Yes, people supporting officer Wilson have received death threats as Officer Wilson has.
doowop cafeDooWop Cafe is the only doo wop internet radio show I’ve found that is the real thing. Most of the DJs are former doo wop singers and some still are, even though they’re almost seventy. It’s hard to keep a rocker down! Link
[Someone’s Upset] For gods sakes people, stop posting here about the condition of the Winn Dixie Plaza and contact the freakin’ owners! is their website and the contact person can be reached at or by phone at 561-625-9125
[“Winn Dixie parking lot”] I didn’t even know there was a problem? I thought it was all happiness since they drained the lake.
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TGIF from Springer’s Bar and Grill. The weekend is around the corner and coming fast. What better place to kick things off then here with us. Today’s special is Panko Crusted Mahi Mahi with a Wasabi Sauce
. Lightly crunchy outside, and flaky inside. It’s sure to become a favorite.
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s always something special at Springer’s.
[When someone anthers] If called by a panther, don’t anther. From treats to anthers ith thwere hinny whey to chorrect pthis?
Is it legal to drive your car or truck with your yap dog sitting on your lap and hanging out the window for all the world to admire?  It would be a tragic loss if the little monster jumped out at 50 mph.
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[Chicken Shit] Many people have chimed in with their solutions to the Winn Dixie parking lot situation. But I have not heard anyone mention what I think is the biggest problem and a threat to all our health. Chicken poop! Yes, the poop from all those chickens running wild in the parking lot. Think of a hot, summer day. You step in a pile of dried dung and then track it into the store. Particles of it then get carried all over the store by other people. It is then sucked up into the air conditioning and then blasted all over every single item, you purchase. Sounds yummy, no? I don’t believe anywhere in the US would allow such unsanitary conditions to exist. I will bet that the EPA would close down the whole thing if someone made a stink (pun intended). It is not just the BPK Winn Dixie, but all over the lower Keys
[Joke Friday] Did you hear about the priest that was checking into the cheap motel?
He said to the night clerk, “I hope the porno channel in my room is disabled.”
The clerk said, “No, it’s just regular porn, you sick bastard.”
Pet insurance. Link
[“Topless gals at Wetstock”
] Please don’t promote this. It’s bad enough with all those drunks pissing in the ocean. Who in their right mind would want to see those old hags with sags from BPK running around drunk and topless? That could truly make one puke.
[“Yap Dogs”] Science has translated what those noisy mutts are saying: They are calling to their feeders,’ Hey Tonto where’s my treat? Hey TONTO, most of my Chihuahua friends only bark Spanish!
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cantipedeI have woken up next to some horrible things in my life, but something happened the other night that still gives me the chills. I woke around 3 a.m. and heard a buzzing sound near my head. I thought it was some kind of flying insect, but when I turned on the lights there was an eight inch red centipede scurrying over my pillow! I threw the pillow against the wall, but no bug was to be seen. I checked out the entire room, turned over the mattress, but to no avail. I slept on the couch. The next day I found that sucker in the kitchen sink. Yuchhh, I will never complain about Jersey girls again. At least they are slow and don’t make buzzing sounds in bed–usually.
George Neugent’s early campaign slogan was “promises made, promises kept”. Well his supporters sure came through with last minute campaign donations. Waste Management, $1,000; Marathon Garbage $1,000; and Keys Sanitary $1,000. Money well spent on their part.
[“Winn Dixie parking lot”] Don’t you know that the locals would rather you get in a wreck and kill some people than actually publicly whine about the blocked views in the Winn Dixie parking lot. Put your head back up your butt where they keep theirs
Yard sale tomorrow
, Saturday August 30th 8:00 am – 1:00pm. 29532 Flying Cloud Ave, BPK. Household items, some fishing gear, anchors, a couch, garden fountain, books, juniors and young adult clothes, costume jewelry, a clarinet, 22′ Angler Center Console w/o engine.
Dear business owners of Key West. From now on do not give 1/2 off or discounts to the KWPD, stop this privilege immediately as they do not deserve the benefit. They are a bunch of thugs who always protect themselves and sometimes even get away with murder.
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[Tax Dodger] Something sure smells in Monroe County and it isn’t the sewer system–yet. Nobody took my 1000:1 bet that the same crooks and kick-back artists will be again culling our wallets to the bone. All I can say, people, is you must love the junta ripping you off for pet projects and unnecessary garbage. So be it. I’ll never pay taxes again, never!
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from the right
A POSTER WROTE: “I have often disagreed with FTR and had minor spats on the C.T., however, now I wish Mrs. FTR a speedy and healthy recovery. I’ve provided some services to the FTR family in the past and my conversations with Mrs FTR have all been very enjoyable and worth the time spent talking. God speed. FTR married over his head. Well done.”FTR’S RESPONSE: Finally, finally, a posting from a critic that I can wholeheartedly agree with. Thanks for taking the time.an_king-black2According to widespread media reports, Mr. Obama seems to be putting on a crown and throwing an imperial cape around his shoulders. He is behaving like a monarch not a constitutionally elected president. It is widely reported that he is on the cusp of ignoring the law and the constitution by first: granting amnesty to about 5 million illegal aliens. Second: entering into a “treaty” with the UN that would bind the US to drastically reduce our energy output in order to feed the gods of climate change. And third: to engage IS/ISIS/ISIL in Syria with air strikes.

As to Obama’s obsession to grant amnesty. Currently we have about 9,671,000 unemployed Americans. That number is an increase of nearly 200,000 in just the last month. And yet Obama is determined to add another 5,000,000 illegal aliens to that number. Those illegals will be competing with lawful Americans for jobs. Please recall that even though our economy is beginning to show some slight signs of life, our unemployment rate remains substantially higher that it was at the end of Republican governance in December 2006.

Obama proposes doing nothing whatsoever to actually secure our southern border even though the world is afire with the explosive growth of terrorism. Those terrorists are dead set on bringing the fight to the USA. And opening the flood gates of immigration robs Americans of jobs.

Obama’s obsession is obvious when you consider that two top federal judges Wednesday said the nation’s immigration courts are in chaos, with the backlog of cases at an historic high of 375,000 for just 227 judges, leading to a minimum three-year delay in hearings for illegal immigrants.

In Washington Team Obama is set to take advantage of the current crisis to demand a new court system, the judges accused the Justice Department of treating their courts like Cinderella’s abusive family by starving them of money and support and blamed the insufficient Justice funding for letting illegals “linger” in the country.

As to the UN and “global warming”: Obama is conspiring with the United Nations and various foreign governments. They are plotting to foist a draconian “global-warming” regimen on the American people — without ratification by a two-thirds majority of the U.S. Senate, as required by the Constitution for all treaties. Their plot would ration emissions of carbon dioxide and energy while redistributing potentially trillions of dollars from Western taxpayers to Third World regimes. The effect on you and yours will be dramatic. You will pay much higher prices for energy and our nation’s manufacturing capability will have a dagger in its heart.

Obama’s infamous characterization of IS/ISIS/ISIL as being the “J.V.” team of terrorism is now haunting him. It joins the ghosts of Obama’s braggadocios claim that “al Qaeda is on the path to defeat, and Osama bin Laden is dead.” ISIS is nothing more than the latest iteration of AQI and is many magnitudes more dangerous than AQI ever was. Obama’s dithering has led us to a point where ISIS is firmly ensconced in Syria and in Iraq. It has safe passage through Iran. It will continue to metastasize unless we attack it in it’s safe haven Syria.

Obama now finds himself in the diplomatic “J.V.” posture of having to decide if he will need to get the permission of Assad to employ air power in Syria. Remember it was not so long ago when Obama said “Assad must go”. Remember also that it was Obama who dithered in providing support to the moderate forces that were fighting Assad. That dithering led directly to the ascendancy to power by ISIS. Further, the liberal left is firmly opposed to any further military involvement. If military force is used, it will cost the Democrats dearly at the polling places. If he fails to use military force, ISIS will certainly continue to grow and will certainly deliver terror to our shores. It is a conundrum of his own making. Personally I say use air power in Syria, screw Assad.

Every thinking American should be shaking in their boots after yesterdays’ Obama presser. Think about it…..for weeks, months, ISIS has been running roughshod through Syria and Iraq. They are the most evil and wealthy terrorists ever. They have been a tsunami of beheadings, murders, and looting. But, yesterday, Mr. Obama actually admitted to the world, perhaps even with pride, that: “we have no strategy” to counter ISIS