2016 August

Friday, August 5, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

wetstock-12Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages! Wetstock 12 — A Day Of Peace And Music is officially on! I am lining up some great bands and it will be another blast on the waters of Picnic Island. It will be held on Sunday September 4th of Labor Day weekend. The music will start around 1:00 pm (Keys time of course). Make sure your boat is ready to go, all your safety gear is on board, all your friends invited, and we will have another fantastic day of peace and music!

~Your Friend Flip Flop Bob (Hopefully Deer Ed will hook us up with this year’s logo)

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Bistro 31 had some of the best mussels I’ve ever had. The portion was so large I almost couldn’t finish it!

Zika may give us a reprieve of all these tourist development dollars. States, as well as a few countries are warning against visiting the Orange Blossom-Gunshine-Plywood State due to this virus. I will remind the newbies to the Keys that prior to mosquito control we were inundated with the little bastards. 14 Zika cases are causing a stir, 1400 will cause hysteria. Stay home lock the doors and hide under the table.


[“Name that plant”] Bay Cedar (Suriana maritima). It’s a native ornamental with reported medicinal properties.

[“Stupid Tourist Questions”] Loved that list. My sister was in Aruba and she told me someone asked her if it was possible to swim under the island to the other side. She answered them, sure, if you can hold your breath long enough. Full Menu > Stupid Tourist Questions
lift-pump[Grinder Pumps] If you have been awake in the Lower Keys for the last few years, then you know that Water Resource Technologies (as the sole source for E-One grinder pumps here) sold to FKAA & the County over $7 million worth of those grinder pump stations for the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater System swearing they were the very best to be had.
So I laughed my fuzzy butt off when I saw their ad on this month’s back cover of the industry trade magazine Florida Water Resource Journal. For those that don’t know, Flygt has been the industry standard in wastewater pumps for many decades. They are a pump that you can buy from distributors all over the world–not just in Marathon. Flygt is a quality municipal grade pump that you expect to find in a gravity sewer lift station instead of a bunch of unsafe and  inappropriate residential E-one pumps. Well look who is selling Flygt pumps now and crapping on the pumps they sold to FKAA!
When a woman says, “Do what you want.” Do not do what you want. Stand still. Do not blink. Don’t even breath. Just play dead.
When you read about a Zika case, just remember that it is far more likely to be sexually transmitted than mosquito borne. The mosquito has a very short window of time between biting an infected person and then passing Zika to an uninfected person. First, the mosquito has to luck onto an infected person. The virus requires a 10 day minimum incubation period in the mosquito before it can be transmitted, and it is only viable a few days of the mosquito’s 2-4 week entire lifespan. A man can carry Zika in semen for about 2 months!
How do they know that a Zika case was transmitted by mosquito? They don’t. They ask the lying, cheating woman if she’s been screwing around and she admits nothing lest she be a single mother with a deformed baby if her old man even lets her live.Almost exactly 2 years ago, the public was panicked about the Ebola epidemic. How many of your friends and family died from Ebola?
Recent quote from the NY Times about Zika: “About four in five victims have no symptoms, and those who do usually recover within a week. Common symptoms include a fever rarely higher than 102 degrees, an itchy pink rash, bloodshot eyes, sensitivity to light, headaches and joint pains.”
Now just look around the bar and count the apparent Zika carriers with those symptoms.
Since 4/5 of the infected have no symptoms at all, multiply that count by 5. See? Everyone you might get lucky with tonight is already Zika infected. No mosquito needed.GMO mosquitoes will not help anyone. They pose a known high risk of additional taxation and additional mosquitoes, and quite a few unknown risks from a new species containing DNA fragments of Herpes, E. Coli, a fluorescent coral, and a cabbage looper worm. And no, they are not all males and they do not all have offspring that die off before maturity. Some breed more that do not die off. This is an experiment that goes way beyond “invasive exotic” risks.Keep your cool, FTR. Panic kills. But if GMO mosquitoes are released, I hope it is in Key Haven with its excessive percentage of big butt-headed residents
match burn[“Three on a match”] When the rule to never light three on a match was coined, it had nothing to do with luck but with survival.  During WWI the men fighting in the trenches often passed the time smoking.  Huddled together they could light three cigarettes on a single match.  Unfortunately, the light from the match gave a German sniper or mortar team just enough time to zero in on their location and cause havoc.  Hence the custom to never light three on a match
Betty Langdon, former owner of The Wreck in Grassy, and present owner of a little deli next to Radio Shack in Marathon is on the Arrest Log. Full Menu > Arrest Reports
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[“Lower Keys Medical Center gets 1 out of 5 stars rating”] What did Fisherman’s Hospital get?
Anybody still around that remembers the White Wash Laundry where you could buy and drink beer while you washed your clothes and watched them tumble in the dryers? That thought led me to wonder how many businesses have come and gone over the years? I should like to compose a list with a short story in a nut shell of what happened. and of how failure did blossom. The lyrics “Down in the tropics they come and they go” was racing through my brain.
skull bones rotating green[Problems With The Windows 10 Anniversary Update] Brother printer owners received an email telling them that the printer will no longer work when they receive the new update. Brother sent everyone a link to the fix. Here’s more problems. Link
More than 1,000 U.S. spies in Brazil protecting Rio Olympics. Video
The difference between a man and a boy is that the boy can be left alone with the baby sitter.



[“Name that plant”] It is Bay Cedar. I was told the Natives used to make smoking pipes out of it. If you like plants and that sort of thing in and about the Keys, you might enjoy checking out Paul Scurlock’s Plants And Shrubs Of The Florida Keys. He was a very interesting and kind man.

[Zika Conspiracy] Zika isn’t anything! You want risk? Try the dangerous pesticide that upset Puerto Rico enough when they discovered a secret shipment there by the CDC that their Governor ordered armed guards to see that it was not sprayed. You may have heard of Naled before. Nasty, nasty stuff. Reuters reports that Gov. Scott has no problem welcoming the poisoning of Floridians with Naled. Scaring people with Zika is just a ruse to empty warehouses of dangerous pesticide nobody wants while filling those warehouses with cash from the sale of stuff too expensive to dispose. Link
The Windows 10 Anniversary Update began rolling out Tuesday for customers around the world. The Anniversary Update is full of features and innovations that will bring new experiences with Windows Ink, Cortana, gaming and more. To give you an overview of new features that are rolling out in the update, check out the video


[Redneck Auto AC] Wouldn’t it be cheaper and easier to jusdt get the a/c fixed? Oh, that’s right, it’s a redneck’s car.

I was wondering what ever happened to Big Pine Key Pizza on Ave A and US1?
What are the nice areas for real estate under $400,000 for homes?
I want to let everyone know who knew John Cassidy the owner of Sunset Taxi has he passed away back in 2014 during dialysis.
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The sign of a good doctor should be how many patients he can get off medications, not how many people he puts on medications.

[Zika] Genetically modified mosquitoes are forever. It is not a temporary fix.
composit-keysAdventures don’t come calling like unexpected cousins calling from out of town. You have to go looking for them. You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. Your adventure is waiting just around the corner. No, not that corner; the other corner. P.S. Yes, these are shots of our Keys.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store
[Grinder Pumps] Commish Romero, regarding placement of New City Hall’s ugly solar panels: “It seems like there have been so many errors and missteps on this project, I find it disgusting. I think the citizenry has been misled. I want it fixed and I want it done right.”This is exactly how the unlucky grinder pump recipients in the Cudjoe Wastewater project feel. And what do you think is more important – having to see ugly solar panels or being stuck with an inferior sewer system on your private property!
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[Zika] It’s just a matter of time before the Keys start losing tourist reservations because of the Zika scare. It’s always something.
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[King Kong] How come the island natives built such an enormous wall to keep King Kong out, but also made an enormous gate for him to easily fit through. It doesn’t make sense. What really doesn’t make sense is if Kong could climb the Empire State Building why couldn’t he just climb over the wall?

[“Name that plant”] Tuesday’s post asked for a plant I.D. It looks to me to be Strumpfia maritima, Pride-of-Big Pine. It is an endangered species found only in the Lower Keys.
do not call cellphone[Florida Do Not Call] Florida residents can subscribe to the Florida Do Not Call list by visiting or calling 1-800-HELP-FLA (435-7352). Residential, mobile and paging device telephone numbers are eligible to be on the list.

Advancements in technology have greatly improved telecommunications, but they have also resulted in an increase of unwanted sales calls. Fortunately, Floridians can protect themselves from unwanted calls and text by subscribing their residential, mobile or paging device telephone numbers to the Florida Do Not Call list, which is maintained by the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.

[Law Enforcement Motivation] It is heart-breaking to watch what our “blue lives matter” must put up with.  Courageous is one word that defines blue! Video
NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary seeks advisory council applicants. Link

NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary will hold a public meeting of the Sanctuary Advisory Council in Marathon, Florida, at 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday, August 16. Hyatt Place, 1996 Overseas Highway, Marathon.



I think Ray Liotta is underappreciated as an actor. He can play almost any roll. Don’t let his beautiful eyes fool you, he can be scary as hell. Link

Whenever you call tech support these days they say they are experiencing a high volume of requests, bla bla bla. If they had a better product or more support people they wouldn’t have this problem.
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I don’t mean to brag but, I just completed a jigsaw puzzle in two weeks when it said on the box “2-4 years”.

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.  ~Oscar Wilde
[“Stuff the Bus”] United Way of the Florida Keys and our friends throughout Monroe County are hard at work again this summer, making sure all of our kids have the tools they need for a successful school year! To help celebrate and collect more supplies, we are once again partnering with Hard Rock Cafe in Key West on Tuesday, August 23rd from 5:30 – 7:30 pm. There will be free light bites with a donation of either school supplies or cash. Every dollar collected for Stuff the Bus goes directly toward purchasing bulk supplies! If you have any questions, or feel free to reach out directly to our CEO Kate Bauer-Jones at or 239-293-7187


[Movie Review] Did you see the “Hunt for the Wilderpeople” movie yet? Set in Tasmania. Saw it the other night at our “artsy” movie theater, Tropic Cinema. By the time the film ended, the feminine, or Tao, had slipped in and snatched peace and flowing out of the jaws of striving and forcing. The people who actually “get it” have dropped out of “civilized” society, mostly, live near the bush, or in it. White people, mostly – not aborigines. Delightful, different, refreshing movie. Plenty of bad people, too. At times, I felt like I was in America.

The staging area that was the parking lot for the Old 7 Mile Bridge has a bunch of unsightly crap on it. It looks like shit, and that’s exactly how much is being accomplished on the project–shit. I doubt they will ever finish it. But rest assured, someone is going to make a fortune.
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What led avowed socialist George Orwell to write a novel beloved of the Right? David Aaronovitch traces how a decade of political chaos shaped Orwell’s vision of a totalitarian future. Audio

[Marine Sanctuary] I don’t think any of the workers at the FKNMS are worth a lick. They work towards their pension and that’s it.
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