2020 August

Friday, August 7, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

A federal court has ruled the federal government owns Wisteria Island in Key West Harbor, but Monroe County Sheriff Rick Ramsay is concerned about what government agency will now actually manage the property. Ramsay has been one of the most vocal critics of the Bureau of Land Management, who has been entrusted in the past to manage the 22-acre island that has become a haven for violence and “lawlessness,” Ramsay said. The federal agency’s inaction on the island has led Ramsay to refer to the agency as the “Bureau of No Land Management.”

Federal Judge Jose Martinez ruled last week “that Wisteria Island belongs to the United States, pursuant to the ‘filled in … for its own use’ exception of statute 1313(a). The Court has considered the remainder of F.E.B. Corps arguments and finds them to be without merit.” F.E.B. Corp., which is owned and operated by the Bernstein family, has maintained it owns the island and had previously been unsuccessful proving legally it owns the island, despite filing federal legal action several years ago claiming ownership. In 2018, the federal government sued the F.E.B. Corp. over ownership and a court ruled last week the government does own the island. “It was built up by Navy contractors, who used the land for the government’s purposes and benefit of storing fill accumulated from nearby dredging operations,” Martinez ruling cites, granting summary judgement to the federal government.

[Census] Please return the census form.  Census employees will soon be arriving to collect the information.  Please don’t be surprised or angry when they walk past your no trespassing and no soliciting signs.  Just answer the questions and they’ll go away.  The info is used for things like calculating money we should have from the state and federal coffers for infrastructure like roads and schools, plus the demographics statisticians have so much fun with. The census is a good thing.


One day “2020” will be a catch phrase for everything messed up. “How’s your day?” “2020.”

[City Fish Cam] That was a cool website showing a camera on a reef off Miami, but I have a question.  What is an urban reef?  Are there urban fish swimming on it?
Urban Definition:
1. in, relating to, or characteristic of a town or city. “the urban population”
2. denoting or relating to popular dance music associated with black performers. “a party that features the best in urban music” Live Video


Work says I need a face mask, then they tell me to take it off. I wish they would make up their mind.

During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies. Does anyone know if they have anything like that planned when this one ends? (just asking for a friend)
[Friday Joke] An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?” The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?” The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night.”

Deer Voters, if you got a postcard like the one pictured, be aware that this location is for voting on August 18th and November 3rd ONLY in the General Election.
If you want to vote early (Aug 3rd – 15th and Oct 19th – Oct 31st) you have to go to the polling place in the Big Pine Key Park Community Center. The back of the card is a bit confusing.
[Guacamole Tragedy] Former upstate New York mayor, 67, is killed and two others are injured after guacamole-making machine explodes. Link

[Movies] Now, when they cry, snot drips down and they don’t wipe it. Disgusting.

[MM 77.5-79 Landfills] Included in the master plan will be a public concrete boat ramp and a dock, access gate at the boat ramp with limited use from sunrise to sunset, a swim area away from the boat ramp, bathrooms at each parking location and charcoal grills. Some items, such as a pedestrian walkway underneath the bridges between the Atlantic Ocean and Gulf of Mexico prompted questions, but Engelmeyer said such a walkway exists in the Middle Keys. Additional options are no-parking areas, paid parking via an application-based system, asphalt parking spaces with striping and signs, lookout piers, informational and educational signs and additional landscaping.
Mugshot photos that will haunt your dreams for years. Video



Forgotten Felines of the Florida Keys. Link

[Friday Joke] Two old farmers are walking down a road when they hear a motorcycle behind them, but are shocked when the bike passes them and the driver is headless. The two men look at each other and shrug. They continue down the road and a bicyclist comes up behind them and he, too, is headless. The two old men continue to walk down the road, when the one walking along the inside turns to the other one. “You know, Allen, I think maybe you should carry that scythe on your other shoulder
Beirut explosion in a Catholic church. Video
[Friday Joke] God!
May I ask you something?
Of course.
What represents a million years to you?
One second.
And one million euros?
Once cent.
Would you give me one cent?
Wait a second
It must be an election year.  In the 2 3/4 years since she was elected, I have not heard word one from our Congresswoman.  In the last couple of weeks, though, it seems as if I get an e-mail or something in the mailbox from her every day.  She must be behind in the polls, eh?


[Driving Vacations] Come on down, the waters fine? No pandemic to worry about.No flight required. You don’t need to hop a plane to enjoy a relaxing island escape. has put together 10 of the best in America you can reach by car. Link

[Fear] The number of people with clinical levels of fear, anxiety and depression has tripled with Covid-19. Video

[Kids] They won’t even know they can’t go outside to play because they don’t anyway. They live with their noses on their small screens.

[Friday Joke] A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Missus awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”

“Nothing,” said her hunter husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out.”